The Oppressive Owl

At the crack of dawn, she hears the sound of her two handsome boys playing in the Livingroom. Her beautiful daughter beside her still sound asleep. Every morning she'd give thanks to God for children of such beauty. Inside and out. It was time for her to get up and start her day. It was going to be a busy one alone with three small children, but she wouldn't change a thing.

This new country house had her feeling kind of sheltered. All she had known for eighteen years was a home with the man that gave her, her children. But a new start was the mission. The stillness of the early morning was uncanny. Although she was a country girl as a child, she was now use to the noises of neighborhoods. No doubt this was well needed. It could turn out to be a real good thing.

The hot water flows over her as she stands in the shower. Her mind goes over the many tasks for the day. She also takes time to reflect on how far she has come. Never did she believe she would be strong enough to leave. To set herself free. Free from a life full of uncertainty. Of headaches and heartaches. She no longer wanted to walk on egg shells. Her feet were no longer bleeding.

Her busy boys were fed, dressed and ready for the beautiful day outside, while her princess was still sound asleep. She placed out what her daughter would need to eat upon awakening and went outside with her boys to blow off the stink. As soon as the sun touched her face and she seen the contentedness of her little peeps, she truly felt that this uphill battle would be defeated.

Harassing phone calls. Him pulling in the driveway. The demanding of the only piece of her he ever really appreciated, on repeat. He just wouldn't accept that she no longer was going to fall at his feet. She was no longer going to try and fulfill a role to perfection for someone who didn't even care in the least. She had to stop where her train of thought was going and calm her heartbeat. It was time for self discovery.

As she raked the leaves and her boys rode their new bikes up and down the laneway, out came her beautiful daughter to help with whatever was needed. She was always so sweet. Willing to do anything her mother does to help make it easy. She stood there watching, catching her breath from the heat. Her heart melted at the sight of her three beauties.

How on earth did God find her so worthy of such precious gifts? How was she trusted with lives to guide when she could barely keep herself together. With such a heart wrenching upbringing, knowledge of self worth was a weakness. Yet, here she was, raising three beautiful children. So very often she felt they were raising her, for correction she kept implementing to be the best she could be. The big question of it all was, who is she?

A deep breath in and a slow release, she knew as long as kept her faith, peace would be coming. She trusted in Divine Timing. She understood that rawness and realness was the only way she was healing. A lifetime of trauma was her only making. If people only knew how her heart took such a beating. She smiles and gives thanks for the fact that her children know love. After a lifetime of duplicity, she made sure love arose freely.

This whole time, enjoying the fresh air, she felt a presence like someone or something was right there. Over her shoulder for hours she had peeked. Not really finding more than her little circle of crazies. A break was due after a few hours of hard work. It was time to get her kids fed lunch, she fired up her hibachi. What kid doesn't like hot dogs off the bar-b?

She sets herself up with a drink and a seat. Still that oppressive feeling is lingering. The house she moved into was from the early 1900's. It seemed in every corner some sort of history was lurking. Finally she looked up and there was the answer she was pursuing. At the end of the property where the abandoned barn sat in front of a cemetery was a barn owl just staring.

It left her curious of how long the owl had been there. The owl seemed pretty old and oozing of impression. Almost unearthly. Deep in her core the stare did pierce. She'd rather the hidden wisdom.