The Old Soldier
A Story Every Day in 2024 September 3rd 247/366
Sheena headed to the archives to research a discovery she'd made while constructing her family tree.
An ancestor; a soldier. Accolades for bravery given but he'd mysteriously disappeared with no record of him anywhere.
Traffic was terrible; she was impatient.
Red light.
Fingers drumming the wheel, she stared at the light. A ragged figure caught her attention, starting to cross. Unkempt, the red of his long jacket was striking.
He came level to her windscreen and turned.
Wise old eyes and fear in his gaze.
An old soldier. He mouthed:
"Leave me alone."
Sheena never noticed the light had changed.
***
100 words exactly
Another Drabble today. This one was from the prompt:
Standing before you in the middle of a busy intersection is one of your ancestors.
This was taken from:
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247/366
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Comments (34)
congrats for TS
awesome work, congrats on Top Story.
A ghost story! Totally not what I was expecting, surprised me in such a good way! Congrats on TS!!
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The drabble creates a haunting moment by blending Sheena's ordinary frustration with a chilling encounter with an ancestral soldier. The striking imagery and the soldier's cryptic message add depth and tension, leaving a lingering sense of mystery. The precise, concise writing effectively evokes a blend of curiosity and unease.
I love this. The use of red is inspired. Such poignancy is so few words!
I love drabbles! This was fantastic. Congratulations on top story, Rachel! 🎉🎉
Now this was good, how so much with so few words. And yes, like w ergo e else..Drabble is the new word of the day for me. Congratulations
Back to say congrats on Top story! This one definitely lingered with me
Circling back to say congratulations on your top story!
Lovely read!
Perfect little micro fiction❤️ Congrats on Top Story too!
A Drabble? I've never heard of a Drabble. You introduced me to it with such clarity. I am intrigued, a very well deserved Top Story! Congrats!
Ah....This didn't go the way I thought it was...very nicely done, chum! We should name you Queen Drabbler Deeming. But, honestly...that "leave me alone" bit was a nice little twist and to achieve that in 100 words, blimey! Congrats on a well deserved Top Story!
A drabble with distinction! Deftly done!
Wow, I don’t know how I missed this one, my semester is in full swing now, but wow Rachel, this is an impressive Drabble. I wonder what kind of secret that soldier had.
Yay Rachel!! Back to say congrats on Top Story!
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Well done Rachel, this definitely deserved TS IMO 😁
This is great. Amazing how much you can fit it 100 words. Still,. I'd love to know his story.
Fantastic little snippet that could easily be turned into something huge…but honestly, it’s so perfect just like it is. Great work drawing us in and leaving us jaw dropped at the green light right alongside Sheena! 🚦
Hey, how do I create a story? I don't know, can you teach me?
Congratulations on your TS! I'd love to know more about the old soldier. 😊
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! I loved this story so much!
Hmmm time travel or ghost story I wonder?? 🤔