The Island

“This is the worst place I’ve ever been in my entire life, by a long mile,” Jack grunted, slicing through the vine blocking his path with a machete and trying to pull his boot from the puddle of mud it was currently stuck in.

“Oh, it’s not so bad! The scenery is quite beautiful,” Sebastian replied, pushing his soaking hair off his face.

Jack shot his friend a dark look. “You’re an appalling optimist,” he grumbled, chopping down another vine.

Sebastian chuckled. “You’d be much happier if it wasn’t raining, you thought it was pretty when we arrived.”

That was true. When they had first dropped anchor right off the beach of this unknown island, Jack had been struck by the beauty of it all. Blinding white sand and lush green trees. But it had been sunny then. Now, it was pouring down rain and had been for several hours, and Jack was about ready to end his misery and fall on his own machete.

“How long have we been trekking now? We should make camp at some point,” he asked, shaking his head like a wet dog. The jungle foliage was so thick they couldn’t see the sky. He had absolutely no clue what time it was.

“I don’t know, but do you really want to stop here?”

Jack peered through the undergrowth. “Do you think there’s going to be somewhere better? This jungle goes on for miles-“

Sebastian's hand shot up and covered Jack’s mouth with no warning. “Shut it, look there,” he whispered, barely audible over the rain as he pointed a few yards to the left.

A pair of lamplit amber eyes were staring at them from between two branches, maybe ten feet off the ground. Jack clutched his machete in a white-knuckled grip. They had seen lots of wildlife so the presence of an animal wasn’t a surprise, but they hadn’t come across anything that looked like that before.

His mind automatically went to the cat. It was a big cat of some kind, he’d seen them in the zoo as a child. Not a lion, the environment wasn’t right. A jungle cat, a panther or a leopard. That train of thought wasn’t helping Jack stay calm.

He raised his blade higher, heard the click of a pistol in Sebastian’s hand. The weapon probably wouldn’t do much good in the rain, but it couldn’t hurt to-

Another pair of eyes appeared beside the first. Not as luminous, but just as startling. Brown irises, so wide that Jack could see the white surrounding their entire circumference. And they were staring directly at him.

“Hold,” Jack breathed, nudging his friend's palm off his face, “Who are you? What’s your business here?” he asked, rather foolishly.

After a moment of silence, well a moment of relative silence since the rain was still beating down upon them, a figure slid from the tree and landed lightly on his feet. Blurred, muddy, shrouded in black. Pointed chin and elfin features set in a gaunt face. Long, reed-slim limbs bent in a low crouch.

“What are you doing out here?! Where did you come from, a shipwreck?” Sebastian asked, hesitantly lowering his pistol. The boy, for it was a boy, moved a shade closer. His hair was black as pitch, skin almost golden like he’d been kissed by the sun itself.

“What’s that thing with you? Is it dangerous?” Jack tried, waving his machete in the direction of the amber eyes. His question was met with a low growl. The boy was glaring at Jack's blade, seeming not to care about the gun in Sebastian's hand and the panther that slunk down from the tree was apparently of a similar mind.

“Shit!” Jack breathed, scrambling a few paces back and nearly tripling over a root.

“Put down the knife,” Sebastian hissed, holstering his pistol.

“Have you gone mad?! Do you see that things teeth?!”

“Put it away! It would have eaten us already if it was going to, and you're freaking the kid out!”

Jack, now absolutely sure his friend's sanity had fled, lowered the machete. Very slowly.

The strange boy watched until it was sheathed in his belt and then turned his brown eyes up to Jack's face.

“Orithinio?”

Jack blinked, Sebastian murmuring, “Pardon?”

“Orithinio?” the boy repeated. Jack and Sebastian glanced at each other, unable to understand.

Sebastian cleared his throat, valiantly trying to make himself look like a man of authority despite being absolutely drenched. “My name is Sergeant Sebastian Lamb, and this is Corporal Jack Macleod. We’re here on a surveying mission to assess this island's suitability for a naval base. Do you live here? We were unaware that the island was inhabited...”

The boy was staring at Sebastian like a flock of birds had just flown out of his mouth. He mumbled more gibberish.

“Okay this is ridiculous,” Jack huffed, running his hands up his arms. The stranger was babbling nonsense and they were all just standing around in the rain while a giant panther sized them up for its dinner.

“Sebastian,” Sebastian said, pointing at himself. “Seb... As... Tian.” Oh good. Introductions.

The boy blinked. “Seb... As... Tian?”

“Sebastian!” Sebastian exclaimed, sounding much more excited than the moment warranted. He pointed to Jack, “Jack! Ja...ck.”

“Ja... Jackie?”

“Yes! He’s Jack and I’m Sebastian! What’s your name?” Sebastian asked. He was positively beaming.

The boy and the panther looked at each other. “Nee... Va,” the boy replied, pointing at himself and obviously trying to enunciate very clearly. “Neeva.”

“Neeva? Your name is Neeva?”

The boy, Neeva, nodded, smiling a little for the first time since he’d appeared. He rattled off more incoherent nonsense and waved them closer.

“Do you have any clue what he’s on about?” Jack asked, crossing his arms. He was shivering all the way down to his bones.

Sebastian wasn’t looking at him, instead staring at Neeva like the strange boy was the holy grail itself. “I think he wants to take us somewhere.”

“Oh, you think? Is his wild pet coming too?”

Neeva hugged himself, rubbing his own arms like he was cold. He pointed at Sebastian and did it again.

“Are you asking if I'm cold?” Sebastian copied the movement and Neeva nodded, smiling wider.

“I say we set up camp here and let him go back to wherever he came from. We’ll need to send a report about this to central command,” Jack said, trying to sound firm, but he continued to go ignored.

“Yes, extremely cold actually!”

“Sebastian-”

“I’ve had a thought,” he friend said, cutting off the rebuke before it was fully formed on Jack’s tongue.

“That’s very uncharacteristic of you,” Jack deadpanned.

Sebastian huffed out a sigh full of chattering teeth. “Look, if he lives here, then that means shelter. There may even be more people! A whole community no one has ever discovered before! I want to learn about them.”

Ever fantastical, the true-blooded romantic. Jack squinted, distrustful.

“Think of how happy Command will be if we bring home a report of an entirely new culture,” Sebastian urged. A coaxing honey in his deep voice.

It was hard for Jack to ignore the temptation of having a roof over his head, the possibility of a warm fire. He was soaked to the bone, limbs achy and tired. And his friend looked so excited. “Fine, fine. When he kills and roasts us over an open fire, it’ll be entirely your fault.”

༄༄༄༄༄

These monkeys are odd.

How many times have I told you, don’t call us monkeys!

Better than snakes.

Neeva shot the panther a look as he guided the strange men through the jungle. Pan was wary for a logical reason, the last time that men in that sort of clothing had landed on his island-

But it was no matter, these two weren’t like those men. Or, the smaller one wasn't. Sebastian. Seb... As... Tian. Not that he was actually small, maybe half a hand taller than Neeva and broader besides, but the other one was downright enormous. Jack... Jackie. He was a full head taller than Neeva with hands like shovels and eyes like coal. Neeva was still distrustful of Jack. He did not like knives, and liked people who carried them even less.

“My home is just up here,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at the two men. They looked like a pair of wolf cubs who’d narrowly escaped being drowned in a river and the sight made Neeva smile a bit.

They don’t understand you child.

Maybe they will learn if I keep trying.

Foolhardy.

The word you’re looking for is hopeful.

Sebastian called to him, speaking words Neeva couldn't comprehend. But his tone was easy and gentle, voice like thunder rumbling through the clouds. Neeva turned back around and saw Sebastian miming something. Perhaps eating? Jack shoved Sebastian in the shoulder and Neeva glowered.

“I do not abide violence!” he said firmly, both mens eyes fixing on him.

You startled them.

Good.

The temple came into view and Neeva heard his guests' breath catch. It was a beautiful place, even in the rain. Neeva almost prefered the rain. The temple, where he’d been raised since infancy. The only place he knew. The only place that was his own.

Jack barked something at him and Neeva winced. He led them on, ignoring the stream of babble from the two strangers and pushed open the tall stone door. Neeva slipped inside and turned back, shrugging off his oiled leather coat to stop from dripping on the floor. They weren’t following, just standing on the threshold, eyes wide with wonder.

Neeva beckoned them inside, Pan slinking off to curl in his nest of blankets in the entry hall.

Call for me if you feel unsafe.

I will.

“Neeva?” It was Sebastian's voice, and Neeva turned his eyes from where Pan sat, licking his paws to smile up at the man.

Sebastian asked a question, what it was Neeva had no clue, but he was struck with a sudden thought.

Pan, do we still have those books of words in the library?

I do not think they were destroyed by the invaders, it is possible.

“Come, I will draw you baths and give you clean clothes, and then we can eat.” Neeva watched the men, their faces glazed in confusion. He rolled his eyes and waved them inside.

༄༄༄༄༄

Jack stepped from the bath and began drying his body with the wide towel Neeva had left for him.

There was something strange about the boy. Jack couldn’t tell what country he was from, couldn’t identify the boy's language either. Neeva could be anywhere from sixteen to twenty five. He could have simply brought them to this weird place to help or he could be a cannibal savage, capturing his prey. Jack didn’t like it.

He folded the towel and hesitantly put on the clothes Neeva had given him, loose linen trousers and a scoop neck shirt with long sleeves of the same material. Like a pair of bluish grey pajamas. Neeva hadn’t given him any shoes, but the stone floor was unnaturally warm beneath his bare feet.

Where was Sebastian? He’d managed to deduce from Neeva's babbling and hand waving that his friend should be in the next room over, but he wasn’t there when Jack went to check.

“The idiot,” he grumbled, returning to the hall and listening hard. From what he’d seen, there was nobody else here, another unnerving detail, so he should be able to hear his friend.

And there it was. The faint tinkle of voices from the left. Jack's feet moved soundlessly across the warm stone, peering into every room he passed. No one. Just neatly made bed after neatly made bed, wash basin after wash basin, mirror after mirror. No people, even though the place looked large enough to house at least thirty. Just the boy and his panther.

“Deh-din... dinner?”

Jack stopped at the door at the end of the hall and pressed his ear to the gap. It was Neeva's voice, that sweet tenor, that voice like a drop of dew rolling down a rose petal. He mentally slapped himself.

“Yeah! Dinner! You’re doing so well!” Sebastian's voice replied, a laugh clear in his tone.

Jack bristled. He pushed the door open as noisily as he could and stalked into the room.

It was a library. Wooden shelves scraping the high beamed ceilings, scrolls of parchment and books bound in leather piled atop one another. There was a hearth, a lit fire crackling merrily inside it, and a selection of cushions scattered about the floor. Neeva and Sebastian were sitting on two of them, passing a book back and forth with their legs crossed, clothed in similar pajamas to Jack's. Sebastian's were a washed out burgundy, but Neeva's were the color of emeralds, maybe a size too big so they hung off his willowy frame like ill-fitting curtains.

“Jack! He has a bilingual dictionary! One for almost every language! It’s fantastic!” Sebastian exclaimed, beaming and motioning Jack over, “He speaks a language called Ojina. He calls this place Ilsa Nettelia, according to this dictionary, it means island utopia.”

“You two look very cozy,” Jack muttered, crossing his arms and earning a glare. Neeva took the book from Sebastian's hand and flipped through the pages.

“Ang- angry?” he asked, looking up at Jack with those puppy brown eyes. Jack squinted, watching Neeva flip around for another word. Nibbling one bee-stung lip. “Hungry?”

Jack squinted harder. “Ask him why he’s all alone here,” he said, nudging Sebastian with his toe.

His friend took the book and thumbed through the pages, forming the question slowly in rhythmic, lyrical words. Neeva's face fell, eyes dropping to the floor.

“All dead... from hunters... like you.”

“We’re soldiers not hunters, and if soldiers really did kill your family and you aren’t lying, why the hell would you bring us here?”

The boy winced, eyes still downcast.

“Don’t speak like that, you’re hurting his feelings!” Sebastian snapped.

“How do we know he didn’t kill whoever else lived here? He could be waiting for us to fall asleep and then he’ll kill us too!” Jack replied defensively.

“Why would he lie?!”

“Why would he tell the truth?!”

“Shout- no shout,” Neeva whispered, staring down at the book.

“Igana,” Sebastian said, and then, turning to Jack, “It means sorry in his language. Igana means sorry. You should learn it if you’re going to insist on being so rude.”

“Sorry,” Neeva repeated. Sebastian grinned as Neeva got to his feet. He moved jerkily towards the door, the book tucked under his arm. “Hungry.”

༄༄༄༄༄

Neeva had fed them a soup that was surprisingly good, the warmth of it soothing the chill in his bones, but Jack hadn’t enjoyed the meal. Neeva and Sebastian had sat next to one another, having a broken conversation with the book between their bowls while Jack just sat and watched.

The rain was falling in sheets outside what was apparently a temple, if the translation was accurate. And Jack was still hungry. The kind of hunger that stemmed from restless boredom. He could hear Sebastian snoring in the next room, and Neeva had said that they could make themselves at home. Well, he’d said ‘you home too’, but Jack took that to mean the same thing.

He padded down the hall in the opposite direction he’d gone earlier, a lit candle in one hand as he worked to remember the way to the kitchen. There was no electricity on the island, an extra irritation for Jack to try and move past.

He hadn’t wanted this mission. Didn’t like being demoted from soldier to explorer. It wasn’t a demotion, not technically, but he was meant for the battlefield. Meant for bayonets and blood, not mud and maps. These were the things Sebastian was good at, with his endless patience and kind disposition.

Jack reached the kitchen and set his candle down on the long farmhouse table where they’d eaten. There had to be fruit around somewhere, it was a tropical island. The stuff had been hanging heavy from every tree they passed near the shore, there must be some in here.

The tempest outside rumbled, rattling the wooden shutters covering the temple's windows as Jack rummaged around inside a cabinet. Loaves of bread wrapped in clean white linen, wooden jars of what Jack assumed to be spices. A bowl of unknown seeds-

A touch to his back. Jack spun on his heels, combat instincts taking over in a heartbeat. He had a hand around the boy's throat and had shoved him up against the counter before the boy's terrified face registered in his mind.

“Fuck,” he exclaimed, spitting the curse black and releasing Neeva, running his fingers through his own hair as his heartbeat slowed, “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

Neeva's cheeks were flushed, breath coming in short, heavy gasps. Jack could see how scared the boy was, could almost hear his sparrow wing heartbeat. What was the word?

“Igana,” he murmured, reaching out to rest his palm on the boys shoulder.

Neeva flinched away with a shriek, skittering backwards across the kitchen with his hands up as if to shield himself from a blow. Jack's heart sank into the pit of his stomach. He moved with pointed slowness, making no sudden movements as he scooped up the dictionary Neeva must have put down on the counter.

Not... “Afna,” he read, searching for the next word, Hurt... you... “Yadakea. Afna yadakea, I won’t hurt you.”

Neeva lowered his hands just a fraction, eyes wide and mouth trembling.

“Igana, afna yadakea,” Jack repeated, trying to inject his tone with a note of reassurance.

“Iganae?” Neeva asked, similar to the word for sorry. A suffix maybe? Jack flipped to the back of the dictionary, scanning the pages until he found what he was looking for. Subject and object suffixes, ‘A for I, Ae for you, O for he/she/it’. Neeva had just said ‘You sorry?’. Probably meaning ‘You are sorry?’ like he wanted Jack’s apology confirmed. What were the words for yes and no?

“Ida,” Jack replied, once he had found the word for yes. Neeva lowered his hands further, motioning for Jack to pass him the book. Jack slid it across the counter to him, not taking a step closer so he wouldn’t alarm the boy.

“Why... do this?” Neeva asked, after leafing through the pages for a moment.

Jack took it back. He looked for the word ‘scare’. Ecira, apparently. You scared me. “Ma eciracha ni.”

His rather sloppy attempt at grammer seemed to have met its mark.

“Igana, sorry,” Neeva murmured, flipping through more pages, “Amra egi ma?”

“What?” Jack asked, blinking.

Neeva sighed, then after a moment of searching, “Are... hungry? Are you hungry?”

“Ida,” Jack replied, because yes, he was hungry. Neeva nodded. He moved back to the counter, taking the long way around the table as if trying to keep as much distance between himself and Jack as possible. “Oh, wait it’s okay, I can get it myself-”

Neeva turned to stare at him, big eyes as round as dinner plates and Jack snapped his mouth shut. “Jack... Jackie,” the boy said, glancing at the book and flipping a page. He pointed at the table. “Sit.”

So, Jack sat. “What’s Ojina for sit?” he asked, watching the strange boy take an odd looking piece of fruit from a cabinet that Jack hadn’t gotten the chance to check.

“Ojina? Sit?”

“Ida.”

Neeva quickly sliced the fruit thing and set it on a plate, shaking a healthy amount of what looked like nuts beside the star-shaped pieces. He scurried over to the table and set it before Jack, scurrying away again just as hastily. “Rula. Sit.”

The strange boy sat across from him, hands folded in his lap. Not eating, just staring.

“What’s this?” Jack asked, and then remembered Neeva couldn’t understand. He pulled the dictionary over and opened it again. “Dae sata?” he repeated, pointing to the sliced fruit.

“Carambola,” Neeva replied, drawing the shape of a star in the air with his finger.

They sat like that, Jack pointing to random objects as he ate and Neeva telling him the words for them in Ojina, then repeating the name for them in his own language so Neeva could learn as well. They sat until all of the food on Jack’s plate was gone, his stomach pleasantly full and mood much less black. The boy wasn’t so bad, or he didn’t appear to be. He was very calm and pleasant, not as nervous as he had seemed when he brought the two soldiers to the temple. Jack was still reserving judgment, but his opinion of Neeva was significantly higher. Not that Jack could be swayed so easily, but the unfamiliar fruit was delicious.

“Nalasoa ma,” Neeva murmured, standing and clearing Jack’s empty plate away.

He busied himself at the washbasin as Jack flipped through the book. Trying to decipher Neeva’s words. First the definition... he found the word, written in Ojina and then in his own language, and written again phonetically in both for pronunciation. Then at the back, suffixes. He put it all together and spoke the translation aloud. “You are smiling.”

༄༄༄༄༄

You like that monkey.

Neeva pouted at the panther stretched along the length of his bed.

Why do you say that?

Well, you called me to save you and then told me to go away almost within the same thought.

Neeva squinted.

I could sense your pleasure as you and the monkey spoke. I am surprised you didn’t throw yourself upon him to mate then and there.

“Pan!” Neeva gasped aloud, flicking his best friend's nose. The panther snapped at him playfully and stretched a paw over Neeva's chest.

Why do you say something like that? I was simply feeding a hungry person. What’s so wrong about that?

You felt the same as you do when you think of the monkey of my namesake. With the long black fur.

Neeva squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to think of the boy he’d named the panther kitten after. The boy with wavy black hair and broad shoulders, the boy with catlike eyes and the heart of a lion. The boy he’d lost when he lost everything and everyone else.

Jack was hard around the edges as his boy had been, Neeva thought, opening the book of words to try and distract himself. But his cold exterior aside, Jack seemed to be a kind person. Not the way Sebastian was kind, not open and sweet and warm. But Neeva guessed that he was the type of person who hid his kindness in small gestures. Neeva liked people like that.

“Wah... ter. Water,” he said aloud, reading more and more words. The hunter's language was fascinating. Neeva had never paid much attention to the visitors to the island before the raid. People came and went, some stayed and some didn’t. Exchanging knowledge, trading stories. But Neeva was content with his island, his people. He didn’t need to lose them to understand how valuable they were to him. Losing them just hurt more that way.

“Wah-sh. Wash.”

Pan began to purr at his side and Neeva kept reading, intending to amazing his guests with his language skills the next morning.

༄༄༄༄༄

“Good sunrise,” Neeva chirped, waltzing into the kitchen with the dictionary under his arm.

Sebastian and Jack looked at one another.

“Good sunrise to you too,” the elder of the pair replied, a grin slowly spreading across his face. He watched Neeva gleefully throw open the shutters. Morning light streamed in, setting the boy's black hair sparkling and his skin aglow. “What’s good sunrise in Ojina?” he asked, heart feeling tingly at the smile Neeva flashed him.

“Etho ashiname.”

Neeva had such a pretty voice, Sebastian thought, propping his chin in his hand. A pretty face too. And cute ears.

“Hungry?”

“Sure,” Jack replied, nodding when Neeva blinked at him.

The younger of the pair had seemed shifty since the moment Neeva happened upon them in the jungle. On edge. Sebastian had no clue why, he’d never been in a more beautiful or tranquil place in his entire life.

“You alright?” Sebastian asked quietly, looking at his friend with concern.

Jack's gaze was fixed on their host, watching the boy twirling around lighting a fire in the hearth. “Fine. When are we getting out of here? I’m worried about what that storm may have done to our boat.”

“Boat?” Neeva asked, ears almost wiggling as he perked up at the sound of a new word.

Sebastian took the dictionary and flipped around. “Balle. Boat.”

The boy was so curious. Maybe a bit strange at first, but Sebastian knew he liked Neeva a minute into their first conversation. It didn’t matter that that conversation had been spoken in two different languages, Sebastian could take the measure of a person simply from their actions. Tone and expression.

Neeva nodded thoughtfully, tapping his chin with the tip of his finger. “Food... now. Boat after?” It was phrased as a question, Sebastian unsure of whether Neeva was confused about his word choice or he was actually asking.

To Sebastian's complete surprise, Jack answered before the elder even got a chance. “Ida,” he said quietly, nodding as if to reinforce his word.

Neeva beamed, bouncing happily up and down on the balls of his feet. He said something in rapid Ojina, too fast for Sebastian to pick out individual words. “You... learn!” he paused, “Learn... know...”

“Remember,” Jack supplied, taking the dictionary from Sebastian and turning a few pages, “Daisia. To remember.”

Neeva hummed, rolling the ‘r’ as he sounded out the word. “Remember, ida. Sunrise food...” he said, coming around the kitchen island to peer at the book over Jack's shoulder. Sebastian saw the younger flinch. “Spesh- special. Sunrise food special. Ensata bocio.”

The boy skittered back to his small fire, a hand resting on Sebastian's shoulder for the briefest of moments as he went past. The soldier's skin tingled.

“Why aren’t you dressed,” Jack asked quietly, his eyes still fixed unwaveringly on their host. It was only then that Sebastian realized his friend was back in uniform, not the comfortable temple clothes they’d been given the day before.

“I didn’t think we were leaving so soon.”

Jack sent him a look of pure annoyance. “The island isn’t suitable, Command wants somewhere with no people. Our job here is done. Why would we stay?”

“Well,” Sebastian hesitated, shooting a glance at Neeva's back, “There’s so much more to learn! Anyway, don’t you want a vacation? It’s the best excuse for one we’re probably ever going to get.”

“I see you,” Jack replied, squinting from the elder to Neeva and back again. “I see what you're doing. You just want to get laid. Add ‘tropical foreigner’ to your list of conquests.”

Sebastian spluttered, choking on his own spit. He waved off the concerned Neeva and graced Jack with a dangerous look. “We may be friends, but I am still your superior officer. Watch how you speak to me.”

Both men started as the panther slipped into the room, the press of his paws absolutely soundless against the stone floor. Neeva dug around in a cupboard and pulled out a strip of what Sebastian recognized as dried meat, tossing it to the panther without even looking.

“Etho ashiname, Pan!” he chirped, returning to whatever it was he was cooking. The panther made a noise that almost sounded like a meow. He settled on the floor under the table and fixed his amber eyes on the soldiers. Neeva slid them both a bowl of what looked like oatmeal, a sweet-smelling fruit something, peach jam or compote maybe, on top. “Ensata bocio,” he repeated, pointing to the bowl's contents and smiling.

༄༄༄༄༄

Jack shouted an unknown word, the anger in his voice making Neeva jump. The three of them stood on the shore, staring at the remains of what had once been a large white boat. It must have drifted away from the beach, tossed against the sharp rocks at the mouth of the small bay, because it was nothing but chunks of rubble now.

Sebastian and Jack were arguing about something, speaking too fast for Neeva to understand. He felt so sorry for them, losing their way home like this. But now... Neeva hadn’t dared to get his hopes up last night. Had stopped himself from asking. Telling them to stay. It got lonely on his island, even with Pan for company. He longed for human connections. Soft touches and soft conversations. It had been so many years since he’d been able to build a relationship with another person. Let alone two.

“Upset?” he asked quietly, flinching at the heat behind Jack's dark eyes. He snapped something Neeva couldn’t understand and then sank down, crouching on the sand with his head in his hands. Neeva knelt beside him, hesitantly resting a hand on the hunter's back. Jack flinched.

“Aba,” he said, voice sharp enough to cut through bone. Neeva retracted his hand, wondering when Jack had figured out the Ojina word for no. He didn’t want to make his guest angrier than he already was.

The two resumed arguing and Neeva listened quietly, picking up a word now and then. Home. Worry. Scared. After a few minutes, Sebastian retrieved the book of words from where he’d dropped and began searching.

“Can we stay?” he asked, speaking in almost flawless Ojina. Neeva nodded, trying his best to suppress his joy. It wouldn’t do to look happy when his guests were so upset. “Milla,” Sebastian added, reading the word for ‘thank you’ and handing the book back. Neeva glanced at Jack. He’d stopped speaking, just staring out at the bay with what Neeva thought may be the beginning of tears in his eyes.

“I have boat. You... take.”

༄༄༄༄༄

Neeva’s boat had turned out to be a veritable fleet of outriggers. They were beautifully crafted and definitely seaworthy, but that wasn’t the problem. Sebastian and Jack’s boat had a motor, sophisticated navigation equipment, and an autopilot function. The island was only a three-day journey from Command’s coastal outpost, but neither of them knew how to actually sail, and with the weather being as turbulent and unpredictable as it was, they didn’t want to take the risk. The two soldiers had decided to wait it out. If Command didn’t receive any updates within six months, they would send someone to check on them, and that plan was currently their only hope of rescue.

They’d been on the island for five days so far. Five days that seemed to stretch on for eternity.

Jack was getting used to life in the temple, getting into a routine, and while he didn’t like being stuck there, having something to do was stopping him from losing it completely. Neeva and Sebastian had finished their chores for the day, the former always so excited about how fast they went with three sets of hands, and were somewhere teaching each other their respective languages. It’s what they did every afternoon around this time. Giving Jack his space.

He appreciated that, genuinely, but he felt bad as well. Felt bad for making Neeva anxious in his own home. He saw how the boy tiptoed around him, flinching if Jack moved the slightest bit too quickly. His actions on their first night here, when Neeva startled him in the kitchen were probably to blame. Jack had tried apologizing again, memorizing the words in Ojina before seeking Neeva out so he wouldn’t have to constantly be staring at the dictionary, but the boy had waved him off. Had said he understood. Jack still felt bad though.

So, he’d resolved to be as helpful as he could. Make Neeva’s life as easy as possible as repayment for letting them stay. Which was why Jack was currently in the yard behind the temple’s main building, chopping firewood for the large fireplace in the kitchen. He wanted to get it done before the rain started up again and would render the logs mostly useless.

A bead of sweat ran down his cheek and he wiped it away with the back of his hand. It wasn’t easy work, but it kept him busy. Staying busy was what Jack needed right then, otherwise he’d begin to stagnate.

“Jack?” Neeva’s voice called, honey sweet, like a breath of petals in a summer breeze. The young soldier looked up to find Neeva standing in the doorway with a cup of something in his hand. “Ma’ana aronae?”

Jack nodded, once he'd worked out that Neeva was offering him a drink, a wave of barely suppressed adolescent lust smacking him in the back of the head as Neeva walked to him with smoke soft footsteps.

“Milla,” he replied, accepting the cup of what turned out to be peach juice and emptying it in three gulps. He didn’t miss the way Neeva’s eyes fixed on his throat when he swallowed. The boy was so pretty it was almost painful.

“Dae ma celasoa?” he asked, taking a moment to remember the translation of ‘what are you doing’.

“Done reading, just had bath,” Neeva replied, looking Jack up and down and then back up. “You have bath?”

Jack blinked.

“Wet,” the boy added with an easy laugh, prodding Jack’s bare stomach. He’d taken off his shirt to avoid getting it dirty, a fact that Jack was now intensely grateful for. He knew he probably looked good, if all Neeva's staring was any indication.

“No, just hot,” he replied.

Neeva flashed him a sugary smile-

“Ashia?”

Jack shut his eyes, wishing Sebastian would turn around and walk back the way he’d come. His friend had started calling Neeva Ashia, the Ojina word for sun, and it irritated Jack to no end. Neeva looked away from him, taking the empty cup from Jack’s hand and waving toward the doorway Sebastian emerged from.

“Oh good, you can help me carry all this inside,” Jack said. He swung the ax so it stuck straight up, lodged in a log. Sebastian eyed him but grudgingly picked up some of the chopped pieces and retreated toward the main building.

The two of them had had something of a falling out since the loss of their boat. Not for any particular reason, more a buildup of frustration, factors outside of their control. Whatever the cause, it was starting to put a strain on their hard-earned friendship.

“Thank you,” Neeva said, fingers brushing Jack’s arm before pointing at the pile.

The young soldier grinned back. “My pleasure.”

༄༄༄༄༄

“This is so good,” Sebastian hummed, sipping the fermented cider Neeva had poured for them after dinner. He had kegs of the stuff down in the cellar and decided to open one in honor of the end of their first month on the island.

Neeva was celebrating, but Jack was not. Sebastian knew his friend was restless, but he’d never felt so content in his entire life. Eating well, breathing fresh air, sleeping deep. This island was good for him. Neeva was good for him.

It had happened barely a week after their boat was destroyed. Such an easy thing. Sebastian hadn’t even needed to try. The poor thing must have been so lonely by himself all this time, all it had taken was a hand on Neeva's arm. Skin to skin for a breath too long. Having someone to touch was good for them both.

“Yes, tasty,” Neeva replied, curled up against Pan beside the hearth. The light of it danced across his face, glittering in his warm brown eyes and Sebastian smiled.

“What’s it made from again?” Jack asked distractedly, smacking his lips and setting down his mug.

He’d been working on carving the little figurine for the past few days, carrying it in his pocket along with his utility knife and chipping away at it during his free moments. The cat was almost finished and Jack picked it up, squinting as he resumed carving. Having something like that, a project, was just what Jack needed. His friend was like a shark; if he didn’t keep moving, keep busy, he’d die.

“Mm...” Neeva murmured, taking a moment to think of the word, “Apple. There are trees, in aboranakae beside the mountain.”

That’s how the three of them spoke to each other now, switching from the soldiers' language and Ojina and back again. Aboranakae. Tree place. Forest. It was easy enough to figure out. From the little bit of exploring they’d done, Sebastian guessed that Neeva meant the true forest on the other side of the island. It was like this place was sliced in two. Entirely different environments on each of the mountain's eastern and western faces. This side, the eastern side, was jungly and damp, meadows and pine groves flourishing on the western.

“Di pada to the orchard? I didn’t see it last time?”

“No path,” Neeva replied, happily sipping his cider and grinning at Jack, “Just wander.”

Sebastian smiled into his mug, surreptitiously allowing his toe to touch Neeva's ankle. He made sure they kept their contact covert in his friend's presence. Neeva never pushed him about that, hadn’t actually mentioned it at all. The boy always kept a comfortable distance between them in front of Jack. Sebastian didn’t think Jack would actually care, but the younger disliked public displays of affection and it would only serve to increase tensions between them. Sebastian didn’t want that. He just wanted Jack to be happy and to keep Neeva's slim body between his bedsheets for a little while longer.

Sebastian watched his friend etch a final mark onto the little cat, brush it off with the tips of his fingers, and toss it to Neeva. The boy managed to catch it, if barely. His pretty face lit up.

“A panther, keep it.” Jack drained his mug and stood up, not giving them a second glance before leaving the kitchen.

༄༄༄༄༄

The young soldier clutched a little elephant in his hand, knocking on the door to Neeva's bedroom and pushing it open. The boy wasn’t immediately visible, not until his head popped up from beneath the water in his wooden tub.

“Hello!” he squeaked, wiping water from his eyes and pushing his hair back. Drops of it ran down his porcelain face, doll-eyes blinking, wide and earnest.

Jack spun on his heels to face the wall. The boy had no sense of decency. Neeva wasn’t technically a boy, blooming in the middle of his twenty-fourth year. But Jack couldn’t think of him any other way. He was so sweet and, well... boyish.

“It’s finished,” Jack said, moving to set the little elephant on Neeva’s bedside table with the others. He’d made a veritable menagerie of figurines in the month and a half since he’d begun carving, the panther soon joined by a monkey, horse, fish, and butterfly. The young soldier had damn-near sliced his thumb off trying to get the curve of the elephant's trunk just right. He didn’t know why he kept making them, other than because they seemed to make Neeva happy. He loved seeing Neeva happy.

Neeva clapped excitedly. “Thank you!” he replied, Jack listening to the soft splashing of water as the boy stepped out of the bath.

He kept his eyes fixed firmly on the little elephant. “I picked some herbs- ah, insata while I was out and lit the fires already, so you can relax,” Jack added, trying to sound casual. Trying to sound like his heart didn’t leap every time Neeva thanked him, even for the smallest things.

“The... the what lit?” Neeva asked, moving to stand beside him. His dark hair dampening Jack’s shirt where he rested his head, a mossy green towel around his middle and another over his shoulders like a cape.

Jack swallowed hard. Standing perfectly still. Not wanting to startle the boy as he struggled to remember the word for fire. “Nira.”

“Ah,” Neeva sighed, picking up the little elephant and holding it before his eyes, “Thank you.”

Jack made a noise of ascent, staring down at the paper thin translucent skin of the boy’s inner arm. He’d bet any amount of money that it would be as soft as velvet if he dared to let himself touch. Caress.

“I do not know such animals, dae called?”

“Elephant,” Jack said, noting the croakiness of his own voice with unbridled annoyance.

“Elephant,” Neeva repeated. He set the figurine back on the table, raising his face to Jack and smiling that smile that turned the young soldier's eyes to sinders. “It is lilago- it is beautiful. With a beautiful nose.”

It took everything Jack had not to gather Neeva up in his arms and kiss him senseless. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Jack?”

“Yes?”

A thousand thoughts blazed through Jack’s head, his mouth going dry.

“Do you... do you- ah what is the word?”

Neeva’s eyes unfocused as he tried to remember. Do I love you, Jack thought, do I care for you? Do I dream about holding you every night? Do I long to feel your touch every-

“I know not, no matter.”

Jack felt a bit frantic, needing to know the end of the question. “Do you want me to go get the dictionary?” he asked, searching the boy's face for any hint, any clue, but Neeva shook his head.

“Dae esaecha? Come only to bring elephant? Something else?”

The young soldier cleared his throat, trying to ignore the shakiness in his legs. Trying to remember the word for walk, to figure out the proper grammar. “Aba, I wanted to see if you’d like to dasio a’ael ni.”

It was the best he could do, form the lie half and half. He hadn’t come to ask Neeva to go for a walk but ‘no, I came to deliver the stupid thing I made you and then promptly leave after’ sounded lame in his head.

“Aba, Pan, lana orinthi,” Neeva breathed, shooting the empty hallway outside his bedroom with a confused look.

The boy had explained about his ability to communicate with the panther. Speak to it with his mind. Something about a gift bestowed on the native island people. Jack was still immensely skeptical of the whole concept, as things like that didn’t actually exist in the real world, but even he had to admit that there was something unnatural about the bond between Neeva and his panther.

“You don’t have to send him away, I can go,” Jack said, turning away again and moving towards the door. He felt all jittery. There wasn’t even any guarantee that Neeva was going to ask him about his feelings, just his brain jumping to conclusions all over the place.

“But I-“

“It’s getting late. I’m going to bed but go dry off by nira so you don’t get sick,” Jack interrupted. He was physically unable to be in that room for even a second longer, too tense. Too alert. He wasn’t going to go to bed, he was going to go for a run. Burn off some of the nervous energy that was making his skin itch.

Neeva must know. Jack wouldn’t have to say it out loud. He’d been dropping so many hints, trying to show how much he liked Neeva in small ways, hoping the boy would pick up on them. And maybe he had, but he hadn't said anything and Jack wasn’t brave enough to say something himself. This was such a mess. An utter, utter mess.

Jack hurried down the hall, closing the door and resting his back against it once he made it to his bedroom. Something needed to happen. He just needed to work up the courage and tell Neeva how he felt. He’d have too, because stagnating in this limbo of not knowing was driving him crazy. And if Neeva didn’t feel the same way, then fine. That would be fine and Jack could just get over it and stop being so on edge all the time.

Tomorrow. He’d do it tomorrow when Sebastian was busy and he could find a moment alone with Neeva. Confessing wasn’t Jack’s strong suit, but the dictionary was sitting on his bed. He moved to sit atop the soft coverlet and flipped it open with a sigh. Just memorize the words you want to say and recite them, everything’s going to be fine.

༄༄༄༄༄

This is the wrong room.

Neeva glanced at Pan, watching as the panther began grooming one of his large paws. He was standing in front of the door to Sebastian’s bedroom, having walked there with the full intention of going inside, but now just standing. Hand frozen in the act of knocking. His knuckles hadn’t even made contact with the wood.

Why do you say that?

Pan made a noise low in his throat.

Because I can smell which monkey is inside and it isn’t the big one.

So what?

You like the big one.

I like this one too.

And he did. Neeva liked both of his new friends, liked them both very much. He liked how sweet Sebastian was, and how playful Jack could be when they were alone. Neeva enjoyed Sebastian's company, enjoyed it quite a bit if he was honest, and he wasn’t just going to give what they had up after so many years of being alone. But there was something about Jack that made Neeva want.

He wanted Jack like he wanted his next breath. Every time the man touched him, every slight brush of his fingers, every time he was close enough that Neeva could feel the heat rolling off his body. Neeva could melt just thinking about those moments. But Jack was so skittish around him; there was never more than a breath of contact. Never more than a split second of closeness. It seemed like he made Jack uncomfortable, which in turn just made Neeva more nervous than he already would have been.

They weren’t going to happen, Neeva could see that now. And he was okay with it. Being friends with Jack would be better than nothing.

On a whim, Neeva decided not to knock. He ignored Pan’s very judgmental stare and slipped inside Sebastian's room to find the hunter asleep on top of the covers, head pillowed on one arm. Being here was an oddity in itself, as they usually met up in Neeva’s own room, but a change of scenery couldn’t hurt.

“Sebastian,” he murmured, crossing the room and lowering himself onto the edge of the hunter's bed.

Sebastian’s eyes opened halfway, blinking up at Neeva in sleepy confusion. “Ashia? What are you-”

Neeva didn’t let him finish the question, leaning down and pressing his lips to Sebastian’s in the gentlest kiss he could manage just then. His hand lingered on Sebastian’s cheek, trailing down to his chest and over his arms. Sebastian’s body was hard, muscle firm beneath Neeva’s fingertips. He was a treat to be savored.

If Sebastian was half asleep before, he was most definitely awake now. His arms wrapped around Neeva's middle, drawing the elder down until they were both horizontal on the mattress. Hands on his waist, mouth on his throat, Neeva relaxed into the touch. Letting himself be spoiled. Allowing himself to be adored.

It was still forign, the sensation of human contact after the days and months and years with nothing but Pan for company. He felt hypersensitive, overreacting to every little movement like his senses were keyed up. Just the slightest pressure on his hip made his spine arch. The smallest brush of lips against his ear made him whine.

Sebastian pulled away a few inches, looking at Neeva with a teasing smile on his face. Neeva could see his own distorted reflection in Sebastian’s dark eyes and something inside him sparked to life.

“Ashia,” Sebastian repeated, voice as soft as slumber.

Longing clawed at Neeva's marrow, itching under his skin, and he rid Sebastian of his shirt with a single swift tug. Neeva’s breath hitched at the sight of his bare chest, sculpted stomach, for what must have been at least the twelfth time. It took no effort at all on Sebastian’s part to maneuver Neeva onto his back, to pin him gently to the mattress and relieve the elder of his bothersome clothing. Neeva had gone completely pliant in his strong hands.

“Ma calana pinera ni?” A question Neeva had taught Sebastian two days ago. A way of asking without being outright explicit. ‘Do you want me to hold you?’

“Ida,” Neeva replied, nodding as he was dragged a few inches further down the mattress and his knees were pushed apart. Neeva felt the blush that had been steadily darkening his cheeks begin to spread, heating up the tips of his ears and flushing splotchy in the center of his chest as he watched Sebastian spit in his own hand. Not the most elegant solution, but it’d get the job done.

The first touch made Neeva start, a hum of amusement building in Sebastian’s throat. Neeva could feel the vibrations of it against his inner thigh, the small kisses the younger pressed there making him start to tremble.

“Fuck,” Neeva exhaled on a choked sob, using the new word to express what a thousand sentances could not. Sebastian had taken him in his mouth, bobbing his head smoothly as he began to stretch Neeva open with his quick, clever fingers.

A moan pulled itself from him as the first finger was joined by the second. Neeva tangled a hand in Sebastian’s hair and tugged, needing to taste him, flesh crawling with goosebumps. The longing was a shapeless cacophony in his head and when Sebastian moved up to kiss him, Neeva whimpered. There was a smile in Sebastian’s voice as he murmured sweet forign words that Neeva couldn’t understand, his sigh the only sound in Neeva’s world.

Breath heaving, shaking with adrenaline and need, Neeva rocked the smallest bit. Trying to work his companions fingers deeper, panting into Sebastian’s mouth, heat building in him like a wellspring.

“Laeva ni,” Neeva gasped, after he had been kissed for a blissful forever.

Sebastian looked down at him, eyes alight with frenzied lust as he pulled his fingers free.

“Lilago ni ashia.”

His mouth was so close Neeva could almost taste it, sobbing as the younger entered him.

༄༄༄༄༄

It was the sharpest sort of betrayal. The kind that burned sour in the back of Jack's throat and sent his fingers twitching restlessly. He couldn’t sit still, couldn't stand still for that matter.

“Laeva ni,” he heard Neeva's voice say, dulled slightly from the wall between them but no less of a knife to Jack's gut. He heard the unsteadiness of the boy's breath, heard the little whines that pushed past his plush lips. What did Neeva's face look like, Jack wondered? How would his features change when contorted in pleasure?

A furrowed brow most likely, the way his eyebrows scrunched together when he was focusing on something. Maybe a sheen of light sweat on his forehead, a rush of blood high in his cheeks.

“Lilago ni ashia,” Sebastian's voice replied, low and sultry. Jack shuddered. His friend had gotten so good at speaking Ojina that he barely needed the dictionary anymore. Jack wasn’t as proficient, but he still knew enough to recognize their words.

‘My love.’

‘My beautiful sun.’

Jack felt like he was going to throw up. He couldn’t sit there on his bed, knees to chest and eyes closed. Couldn’t sit there and listen to-

Neeva sobbed, an almost whiney sound. Sebastian's cooing was the last straw. Jack leapt from his bed and slid into his uniform boots, not caring how stupid they looked with temple clothes, and pulled his military trench coat over the whole ensemble. He didn’t bother bringing anything else, his machete or his gun. If something wanted to eat him then let it.

It’s not like anyone would care, Jack thought, stomping from his bedroom and down the hall. He paid no mind to the muddy shoe prints he left on the stone floor, not trying to be quiet. The stupid lovebirds were so deep in their pleasure that they were probably deaf to anything but the sound of each others voices.

He spat in the dirt just outside the temple, not giving a single fuck if it pissed off the gods or whoever. He was pissed off. Sebastian had to know. He had to have noticed the way Jack felt. And Neeva... could the boy really be that dense? Clearly not, if he’d picked up on Sebastian's idiotic crush. But Jack had been trying so hard to get Neeva to like him. All the little things Jack did for him, the small ways Jack showed his affection. He wasn’t one for big romantic gestures, not like Sebastian, but maybe Neeva just didn’t understand the nuances of subtlety.

It didn’t matter either way. Neeva obviously liked Sebastian, he had done since the first day they set foot on this cursed island.

Jack pushed his way through the underbrush, ignoring a branch that sliced him across the cheek when he tried to push it out of the way. He’d leave, he decided. Just leave Sebastian here with their half-mended boat and try to go back to central on his own. It’s what his friend would want to do anyway. Jack couldn’t believe Sebastian had gone this long without asking if they could stay even after the boat was fixed.

He knew where the temple kept its supply of outriggers, Neeva had shown him the cove. Jack would just take one and go. Brave the ocean, roll the dice, it didn’t fucking matter.

Leaves crunched beneath his heavy boots and the rain had already soaked through to his skin. He was so fed up; tired of this place, tired of the lack of civilization, tired of getting eaten by mosquitos if he dared to set foot outside during dusk, tired of the strange food and the strange boy that cooked it. He just needed to get the fuck out-

A low growl grabbed Jack's attention and he stumbled to a stop, boots sliding a little in the slippery mud.

“What the fuck do you want?!” he snapped, glaring at the panther who had stepped out in front of him. Pan stared at Jack with those glowing amber eyes, pacing slowly back and forth. “You know I can’t read your mind, get out of my way.”

Pan made a noise that almost sounded like a purr. He was huge, even for such a large species, as long as Jack was tall and somewhere around two hundred pounds. One of his paws could probably crack Jack's skull in two, not to mention the teeth. But during his stay on the stupid island, Jack had learned he had nothing to fear from Pan. He was just a house cat trapped in a panther's body.

Jack tried taking another step but Pan blocked again.

“Your best friend doesn’t like me, you don’t like me, just let me leave!” he snarled, balling his hands into fists. Pan snarled right back but Jack stood his ground. “Get out of my way! You can’t stop me so just eat me or let me-“

The creature hit him out of nowhere, leaping from the undergrowth and burying its teeth in the flesh of Jack's upper arm. Wolves. Or were they wolves? The creature's eyes burned a deep crimson, fur as black as pitch and teeth sharper than they had any right to be. And there were so many teeth... too many teeth. Too many... The blow knocked him flat on his back, crying out in pain as its jaws clamped down. It shook its head back and forth like a shark, trying to tear Jack's arm clean off his body.

Pan came sailing over him, swiping at the wolf thing with one paw, razor sharp claws unsheathed. The wolf whimpered and released Jack but there were two more, jaws snapping, teeth bared. Pan hissed and spat as they tried to approach, carving a long gash across ones flank and catching the others neck between his teeth.

Jack couldn’t see from the pain of it, like iron lances had sunk in all the way through the bone and out the other side. He’d felt the muscle tear, the skin and sinew rip apart. Agony so bright it was blinding.

He was trying his best to stay conscious, not to black out or allow his body to go into shock. The wolves, or dogs or whatever they were, had run off, savagely beaten enough to realize that Jack wouldn’t be an easy meal while Pan was there. He couldn’t help but wish they had just killed him instead of leaving him in this pain.

“Fucking furry bastards,” he breathed, feeling the hot tears begin to slip down his cheeks. Pan growled. The big cat's mouth closed around the back of his coat, scruffing Jack like a kitten and dragging him gently backward to settle him between two tree roots. “Don’t call him... please... I have to go before they notice... that I left,” Jack panted, but Pan simply blinked. A rod of jagged pain shot up Jack's arm when he tried to move and he fell back. Weak from it. Drained of his temper, his jealousy, his hatred.

The panther wouldn’t listen to him, Jack knew that much to be true and so it wasn’t a surprise when, a few minutes later, the sound of footsteps and shouts came crashing from the direction of the temple.

“Egi ma yadokaecha? Are you hurt?!” Neeva squeaked, careening out from the trees and falling to his knees at Jack's side.

“Bani lana,” Jack hissed, measuring his breaths to try and subdue the pain, “I have to go, get off.”

His Ojina was still broken at best, but Neeva's understanding of their language was advancing rapidly. He got the jist. Sebastian appeared a moment later, gasping at the sight of the blood drenching Jack's left arm.

“What the hell happened to you?” he asked, crouching at Neeva's side.

Jack couldn’t look at either of them. “You both reek of sex,” he hissed, tearing a strip of his linen shirt with his teeth and managing to tie it around the bite, slapping Neeva's hands away when he tried to help.

“Pan tells me... sosa- no... wolf?”

Jack began getting to his feet, something he knew would be a long process. He stumbled from a wave of dizziness, managing to steady himself against the tree trunk before he could fall. Neeva’s hands were back on him but he didn’t have the strength to push him away again. “Aba,” he snapped, injecting the word with as much venom as he could manage.

Neeva ignored him, fingers skittering up his torso. Poking and prodding like he was checking Jack for other injuries. All it served to do was compound Jack’s feeling of loss. There was no need to confess now, he may have been able to handle this news better, wouldn't have had a childish temper tantrum, if they had just been open about it. If it hadn’t come as such a shock. But as it stood, Jack was heartbroken. And bleeding. With no reason to stay.

Breath dragging in his lungs, tears burning in his eyes, Jack turned his head to look at Sebastian. “I’m going back to Central. Stay or go, I don’t care, I’ll tell them to send a ship to bring you home if you want me to.”

“What is Central?!” Neeva exclaimed, searching Jack’s eyes.

Sebastian answered him in Ojina, translating when Jack could not and the boy's face hardened. “Jack you can’t seriously think you’ll make it there in an outrigger," Sebastian exclaimed, "Even if you weren’t bleeding out, the odds of actually getting to Central are-“

“Stupid!” Neeva snapped, cutting Sebastian off mid sentence. His voice possessed an edge Jack had never heard before and he stopped trying to walk. Too surprised. “You are stupid!”

“Beg pardon?” Jack croaked, looking down at the boy with pure astonishment.

“Ma egi Yadokae, you bleed, you go nowhere until...” he snapped his fingers at Sebastian, “Ma aora’ana!”

“You are healed,” Sebastian replied.

Neeva nodded gravely. “You go nowhere until you are healed. Come.”

“No!” Jack spluttered, wincing as soon as the boy palmed his cheek.

“When you are healed, ma lana. Not when you bleed. Come home.”

Jack's resolve crumbled like mortar. He was so upset and his arm hurt so much, he had no energy left to fight. So he simply nodded, trying not to think too much about the way Neeva fisted the lapels of his coat, about how easily his uninjured arm slid around the boy's shoulders as Neeva led him back up the path with slow, measured steps.

༄༄༄༄༄

You are fretting, little monkey.

Pan watched Neeva pace, though a soft purr within his own. The panther was curled in the corner of Jack's bedroom, Sebastian dozing in a chair beside the hearth and Jack asleep in his bed. Neeva and the panther were the only ones awake. As if Neeva could possibly sleep.

Jack had a fever. Neeva had cleaned the dirt and dried blood from his torn flesh and covered the wound with honey, applied a mixture of myrrh extract and thyme oil, and had the man chew on a piece of ginger root. None of it was working.

I think he may have poison in his blood.

There is rot, I can smell it.

Neeva shot his friend a glare, moving to dab at Jack’s brow with a small towel. He tucked the blanket up under the man's chin and cursed when it left his bare feet exposed. Jack was too tall for his own good. Neeva’s body moved on autopilot as he rummaged around the small cupboard, finding a second blanket to cover the rest of him.

Do you know anything that would help? You sat with me when those women landed here and gave me lessons, and I was never good at healing my own hurts. Any ideas stuck in that enormous brain of yours?

Pan stretched.

Cranberry paste. Black Cohosh and amaranth.

“Of course,” Neeva mumbled, hiding his face in his hands and cursing himself for a fool.

Stay and watch him.

As you say, little monkey.

Neeva hastened from the room, trying to be quiet so he wouldn’t wake either of the sleeping men.

Before he’d dozed off, Sebastian had been several steps above anxious. He’d asked Jack repeatedly what had happened, why Jack suddenly wanted to leave and how the man could have been stupid enough to go out in the darkness of night all alone. But Jack had just glowered at him and refused to speak.

Right, there was a jar of cranberry paste in the kitchen, but ameranth... the cellar. Neeva retrieved the ingredients he needed, stirring them in a mug of hot water and adding a dash of cinnamon for good measure.

He wakes.

Neeva blanched. With the mug in one hand and a jar of cranberry paste in the other, he scurried back down the hallway and inside Jack's room. The man was staring at him. Cheeks bloodless and eyes bright with fever.

“Jack,” Neeva whispered, glancing at Sebastian to check that he was still sleeping as he sat on the edge of the bed. Jack looked up at him suspiciously. “Arona- drink please.”

He held the cup to Jack’s lips, watching him swallow small mouthfuls of the tonic and grimase at the taste. Steam seemed to rise from his heated skin, chest rising and falling, eyes tracking Neeva’s movements like he expected a strike. Neeva tried not to pay attention as he set the cup on the table and resumed dabbing at Jack’s forehead. The towel was too warm. He dunked it into the bowl of cool water on the floor, ringing it out and laying it across the man’s brow.

“What did you just give me?”

Neeva blinked. He scooted a bit closer and peeked under the linen binding Jack’s wounds. He’d learned the word... What was it? Ah! “Medicine. To help...” he gestured at the bandages, “This.”

Jack's uninjured arm extended, snaking out from beneath the blanket and he took Neeva’s wrist in a gentle grip. Neeva could feel his own pulse flutter where the man's fingers brushed, slipping up and down his inner arm in something that was almost a caress.

“Neeva?”

Neeva's heart leapt into his throat, Jack’s hand moving to his waist. He flinched in surprise, shifting a little where he was perched on the side of the bed, but for once Jack didn’t pull away. He seemed to study Neeva's face with an intensity that the elder was unused to.

“Ida?” he managed. Barely. Neeva felt pinned there by the leaden weight of Jack’s gaze. Too aware of his limbs, his breathing too loud. Jack’s fingertips were like needles where they rested, even over his shirt.

“Ni ecirasoa ma?”

'Do I scare you'... A stone dropped into the pit of Neeva's stomach and he reached out automatically, running his finger along Jack's scraped cheek. “Aba, you do not scare me,” he replied, shifting closer. As close as he dared.

“Cal’ni bessera ma, serulla corda.”

Neeva inhaled sharply through his nose, unsure if either he’d misheard or if Jack's translation was incorrect. ‘I want to have you, pretty flower.’ It must be the fever. Jack would normally never say such things.

“Jack, sleep now. Heal. Medicine will make you better,” Neeva said quietly, meeting the hunter's shiny eyes. Dark irises burning, fervor in them like Neeva had never seen. He blinked hard, doing his best to slow his racing heart as he reached for the jar of cranberry paste.

Jack caught his wrist again and repeated the gut-wrenching sentence.

“I don’t understand you,” Neeva lied, his traitorous mind already conjuring up images of Jack's hands on him in the sweat-stained dark. He allowed his fingers to linger on the hunters bare arm for a moment longer than necessary as he untied the bandage. Wanting to feel that swell of hard muscle curving at his bicep. Wanting to let his fingers wander further- Neeva cut that impulse off at the knees. Jack needed a healer now, not a lovesick sweetheart.

The hunter stared back at him without a sound. Black eyes glued to Neeva's face as he tended the wounds. They were quite unpleasant to look at, deep and raw, the surrounding flesh a furious crimson.

“Do you... really wish to go?” Neeva asked, securing a fresh strip of linen in place of the old one.

Jack had gone outside of the temple’s protection. Wandered out into the domain of the Sosa, the black dogs. The demons. Jack wouldn’t have stood a chance out there in the depths of night if Pan hadn’t followed him. He'd risked all to try and leave Neeva behind.

“Depends.”

Neeva racked his brain to remember what that meant- oh. “On what?”

“On whether or not you’re going to keep pretending not to understand me.”

“You are hurt, not having clear thoughts,” Neeva said quietly, struggling for a moment to remember the word for clear, “Sleep now.”

With his injuries tended, Neeva moved to dab at the hunter's forehead.

Jack didn't allow him to do so, however. He drew the elder down and hugged him close, an arm around Neeva's middle. Neeva's back to his chest. “Sleep with me.”

The other monkey wakes.

Neeva let his eyes flick in the direction of the hearth as Jack squeezed him a little.

Sebastian was looking back at him, an eyebrow raised, and for a heart stopping moment Neeva thought he’d get angry. But he didn’t. The hunter shrugged minutely, a soft smile curving his mouth, as if to say ‘it is what it is’.

Jack hummed a sleepy word Neeva couldn’t make out, burying his face in the elders hair as sleep finally took him.

Neeva tried to breathe. He failed.

༄༄༄༄༄

Sebastian had made the executive decision, for the good of all parties concerned, to put an end to things between himself and Neeva.

He liked the boy, truly he did, but getting laid wasn’t worth his best friend almost getting himself killed. Sebastian had somehow missed the signs. He didn’t think of himself as an oblivious person, but that’s exactly what he’d been. Looking upon the scene with fresh eyes, Jack's affectionate feelings for Neeva were more than clear. The little gifts, constant favors, sly looks. It was as plain as the slightly large nose on Neeva's face.

It had been a week and a half since Jack's mauling by the Sosa -whatever those were- a few days more since Jack's fever had finally broken. Neeva had fluttered around him like a very anxious butterfly, insisting he stayed in bed for a full day afterward just in case. It was endearing to watch actually. Big strong Jack being babied. He let it happen, too, would just lay there and stare at Neeva with the sappiest look on his face.

Sebastian tried to help as much as he could, but he’d never been the best medic and was basically useless at tending injuries. So he worked around the temple instead, picking up the chores Jack had been doing, trying to stay out of the way. He loved living here. Not having to take orders from anyone, breathing clean air and living off the land. Ilsa Nettelia was Sebastian’s idea of nirvana. Beautiful and peaceful and free. He’d be content to stay here for the rest of his life if he could.

He’d been out in the temple garden gathering herbs, now carrying a full basket of fennel and thyme and lemongrass back in through the kitchen’s side entrance. It was a bit warm out. Dirt stuck to his hands and forearms and sweat had glued his hair to his forehead, but Sebastian couldn’t stop smiling. Fresh air and exercise could do wonders for one's mood. His own especially.

“Ashia?” he called, making his voice a bit softer than normal just in case Jack was asleep. No response. Maybe they were in the library. Sebastian set the basket down on the kitchen island and quickly washed his hands before meandering down the hallway.

Sure enough, he could hear soft murmuring voices from behind the double doors. They were open, just a crack, and Sebastian peered inside. Neeva and Jack were sitting on opposite cushions, their hands laced together and heads bent over a very heavy looking book. Sebastian couldn't see what was written on it, but he could see enough of everything else.

He backed slowly away from the doors, trying not to make a sound, moving back toward the entry hall with a smile on his face. Those two did make a very cute pair.

“Hey Pan,” he said, grinning at the large panther stretched out on the patio. He lifted his head and yawned, fixing Sebastian in his glowing amber stare. “Will you show me the way to the orchard or the peach tree grove? We’re running a bit low on both.”

The panther stretched luxuriously and stood, bumping his head against Sebastian's knee before leading him away from the temple. Best to give the lovebirds some privacy.

༄༄༄༄༄

“And then the- orithinio tried to leave. But they left in the dark and the Sosa,” Neeva gestured to Jack's arm, “Did this kind of thing to them. Bit them and hurt them and killed them. It was too late for me, my family was already gone.”

Neeva had decided, albeit a bit belatedly, to confide in Jack. Explain exactly why he lived here on the island all alone. He hadn’t planned on it, did not like talking about it, but Jack had asked. He’d asked so gently and sweetly...

The story had taken a long time to tell. He’d retrieved the book of words to help, but even still, speaking them aloud had been very, very difficult.

The hunters had come to Neeva's island in droves, tired and thirsty and begging for shelter. They’d said that the food rations on their boats had run out several days ago and they were lost. Lost at sea and happened upon the island. They called it a gift from their God. Called it Shangri-La.

Neeva's family had taken them in willingly and with open arms. Fed them. Clothed them. Given them hot baths and warm beds. But after a while, the hunters grew to like the island too much. Kept saying that they had discovered it. Claimed it as a place for their own people.

Pan hadn’t liked the strangers. He told Neeva they looked untrustworthy. That he didn’t like the tone of their voices when they spoke about the islanders. Neeva hadn’t cared much about them, just happy to have his parents and brothers around him. And his boy. His lovely boy with broad shoulders and long hair and dark cat-like eyes.

It had started out an ordinary day. Neeva had gone about his chores and finished them early, so he and Pan had retreated to their hideout in the jungle. They’d been sitting together, leaves above and damp earth below, Pan's fingers laced with Neeva's, when the shouting had started. The hunters had gotten tired of being told what to do by the islanders. They’d decided to take the island by force.

The two boys could hear the screams, the whistling of knives as they cut through the air. Cut through flesh and bone. Pan had pulled Neeva to his feet, pulled him through the trees, kept pulling him even though Neeva was screaming to go back. ‘We can’t,’ he had said, hugging Neeva tight to his side, ‘Father warned me this might happen. He told me I need to hide from the hunters so that the island still has a protector if he dies. We have to stay safe.’

Pan's father was the leader of the temple, the holy man. The wisest, kindest, most reliable of men who walked with a black panther at his side. His words were not to be ignored and so Neeva had swallowed his fear and sorrow and plunged on through the undergrowth at a run.

But they weren’t fast enough. One of the hunters, a tall man with moon pale skin and milky blue eyes crashed out from the trees and buried a knife in Pan's stomach, spraying the leafy canopy scarlet. Everything after that moment was a blur for Neeva. He remembered screaming, remembered seeing his boy drag the blade from his own body and slash the hunters throat. He remembered cradling his boy in his arms as the life leaked out of him.

‘Go and hide, run, Vee. Ilsa Netellia needs a protector and I can’t-‘ he’d coughed weakly, shuddering against Neeva's chest, ‘I can’t be the one anymore. You must...’

Neeva had sobbed as he ran. Sobbed as he thought about the dirt soaking up his boy's blood, sobbed as he thought about his brothers and parents, probably all dead just like Pan. He’d hidden in the peach grove, a sacred place that would protect him from the Sosa once night fell. He’d stayed there for two full days. Waiting. Praying.

He had passed the remains of what had once been the hunters on his way home. Savaged and mauled and torn limb from limb. And then the bodies of his family. The great black panther who had once been seen as a god, swimming in a pool of molten red. Laid lower than low by the hunters who’d come and ruined everything, taken everything.

“I- ehm,” Neeva continued, pausing for a moment to clear his throat, “I was useless for almost a week. Couldn’t clean or cook, or eat really. I don’t think I took a bath that entire time. There was no reason for me to go on.”

Jack reached out, brushing the pad of his thumb back and forth over Neeva's knuckles. He was the picture of concern, Neeva thought, daring to meet the younger man’s eyes for a moment.

“But then, I don’t know how much longer after I had returned to the temple, I heard this...” Neeva consulted the dictionary, “Crying.”

“Crying?” Jack asked, speaking for the first time since Neeva had begun recounting his tale of woe.

“Yes. And it raised me from my sadness enough that I walked to the kitchen, and I found... a baby.”

“Baby?!”

Neeva looked back at the dictionary and flipped around for a moment. “Baby cat. Not a baby like us,” he clarified, “A black baby cat with hands that were too big for its body and yellow eyes.”

“Pan?”

“Yes. When I realized I could hear him calling to me in my mind, I knew it was him. Our panther reborn to walk at my side and protect the island from harm. I didn’t have a choice but to take the burden. So I named the baby cat Pan, after my boy, in memory of the ones that were lost.”

Getting that last bit out took longer than Neeva would have liked, he’d had to stop and search for words several times, but Jack was patient with him. Just sitting quietly until the elder finished his story. Not wanting to end on a sad note, Neeva added, “I have you and Seb for company now, so it’s okay.”

“No! It’s not though!” Jack exclaimed suddenly, the raise in volume making Neeva jump. The younger ran his fingers through his dark hair in what Neeva guessed was an attempt at composure. He gave Neeva's hand a little squeeze. “It’s not okay. What those horrible people, the orithinio, did to your family was an atrocity.”

“A what?”

Jack flipped a page of the dictionary. “Cembra.”

“Ah, yes. But what is done is done.”

Neeva's heart skipped the smallest bit as Jack turned his hand over, tracing the lines in his palm. He wasn’t sure exactly what was between the two of them now. No words had been exchanged since the night of Jack's attack, nor had there been any physical contact that even approached amatory. But something had changed between them all the same. Neeva could feel the current drawing him to the younger man more palpably than ever. And what with Sebastian putting an end to whatever their casual fun was called...

This monkey thinks you are such an innocent, he could not have made a more incorrect assumption if he tried.

Hush, Pan, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

You are aware that I can read your mind, yes? See all the things you imagine doing with this monkey? Honestly, just mate with him and get it over with it so I may be spared more fantasizing.

Neeva glowered at the stone floor. He could sense the panther in the peach grove a few miles away, proximity never mattered where their connection was concerned, but it could still be highly irritating at times. He chose not to bother forming a mental reply.

“You are a bit kind, you know... when you are not being stupid,” Neeva said quietly, releasing Jack's hand and brushing a strand of hair from his eyes.

The younger didn't flinch. He didn’t flinch when Neeva touched him anymore and Neeva was glad. It made him feel more relaxed, knowing Jack was comfortable. “I really do try not to be stupid.”

A smile in his words, even though his face lacked one. Neeva decided that it was time to ask. All his history was hanging between them, it was only fair that Jack should share something as well. “Will you tell me now, why you ran away in the dark?”

Jack visibly gulped and Neeva fixated on that, noting the way the younger man’s adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. He let his fingers brush the base of Jack's throat. “I was- I was hurt,” Jack said quietly, entirely still.

“Why?”

“I really... I really liked you, and listening to you and Seb... behind my back- like it was a secret... I don’t know, I was just hurt.”

Neeva blinked. He picked up the dictionary and flipped to the back, just to be sure. Didn’t want to make a fool of himself. “Past tense?”

“What?”

“You like me past tense?”

“Oh, no! No, I still like you! I like you a lot,” Jack hastened to explain, capturing one of Neeva's hands with his larger ones.

“I like you too, friend,” Neeva replied happily.

Jack sighed, flipping through the dictionary but leaving it on Neeva's lap. “Not like that, I Uh…,” he swallowed again, “Laeva ma.”

Neeva's brain stopped functioning. He tried to reply but couldn’t. Couldn’t speak. Couldn’t breathe. He knew... something, but hearing it spoken aloud was very, very different than just hoping...

“You don’t have to like me back, it’s okay, it’s fine! If you like Seb, it’s totally fine! I’m working on getting over it-"

Neeva opened his mouth and closed it again, losing track of the youngers words. Forgetting to speak Jack's language. “Sebastian etho pinera mae afna bessera.”

Jack reached for the dictionary but Neeva snatched it up before he got it.

“Sebastian is...” he stuttered, turning pages frantically. He should know those words in Jack's language, did know them, but they wouldn’t come. “Sebastian is good to hold... but not to keep. We- stopped holding. Just fun, before, finished now- words are stupid!” he concluded with a huff, shoving the dictionary away across the floor and hiding his face in his hands. It was so frustrating sometimes, not being able to express himself properly to his friends. Especially in moments like this.

A pair of strong arms circled Neeva, a hand on the small of his back, a cheek against his hair. “It’s alright. Don’t be upset. I understand you,” Jack murmured, pressing his mouth to the crown of Neeva's head. Neeva shuddered, only slightly.

They were still in the library, Sebastian could walk in at any moment, and while he said he hadn’t minded Neeva and Jack's new amicability, Neeva didn’t want a repeat of the storm-off disaster. He waited a few heart beats, just letting himself be hugged.

“Jack?”

“Yes?”

“When you eh,” Neeva wracked his brain, trying to find the word for- “Fever. When you had fever, do you dasia what you said?”

Wow. He couldn’t remember the word for remember. This was going fantastically.

You’re doing great, little monkey.

Please shut up.

“Cal’ni bessera ma, serulla corda?” Jack asked, pulling away a little so he could look Neeva in the eye, “Ida, I memorized it. I didn’t want to sound stupid when I told you how I felt.”

Neeva felt his heart go soft, taking in the earnest expression on the younger man’s face. How was it possible for someone to look so strong and angular and mature, but so young and vulnerable at the same time? “You are very, em... haldi,” he murmured, running his thumb across Jack's knuckles, “Are you- you know what you want?”

“I’m not young, I’m twenty. And of course, I know what I want.”

“Twenty is young-“

“I know what I want!” Jack interrupted, his sharp cheeks flushing in the prettiest way.

“I understand you,” Neeva replied softly. He did understand. He understood the determination in Jack's eyes, the passion that made Neeva's poor weak heart flutter. “Laeva ni, don’t be upset-“

“Please,” the younger man breathed, averting his gaze and staring down at their clasped hands, “Don’t call me that. I heard you- heard you call him that; I don’t care that you did it or what you did with him or still do with him but please don’t call us the same thing.”

Neeva blinked a few times. It took longer than he would have liked to sift through the words. “We don’t, anymore... and I won’t anymore. Just...” He focused hard, trying to think of a new name, a new term of endearment that would suit Jack. And then, he got it. “Lysianassa.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Jack breathed, starting back at Neeva. Apparently transfixed.

Neeva sat up on his knees. Scooting a few inches closer. “It means big cat. The way you move reminds me of Pan.”

“Which Pan?”

Neeva fought not to wince. “The one who is living. With fur.”

“Say it for me one more time?” Jack asked, one of his giant hands tentatively coming to rest on Neeva's waist.

“Lysianassa.”

“God, your accent is so sexy.”

Neeva didn’t know what the word sexy meant but it must be positive, because Jack was pulling Neeva towards him. Both hands on Neeva's waist now. And kissing him. Finally.

His lips were as soft as Neeva imagined they would be. Softer, even. And he was so strong... Neeva knew he was strong but Jack was almost lifting the older man off the floor he was holding him so tightly.

“Lysianassa,” Neeva repeated, forming the word slowly against the younger man’s mouth. He felt Jack smile. “Not here. My bedroom.”

The wound on Jacks was arm wrapped in a thick leather band to secure the bandage while he moved. While he was active, anyway, and Neeva was glad to see he still had it on because the elder had some very vigorous physical activities in mind.

He opened his arms and let Jack pull the shirt off over his head, taking a moment for his hands linger on the younger man’s bare stomach. He’d wanted to do that for so long. Spend all night tracing the dips and curves of Jack's abdomen until he had them perfectly committed to memory.

Neeva stepped back. Perching on the edge of his mattress. Waiting. But it seemed that his friend was stuck. He just stood there, rooted to the warm stone floor.

“Come,” Neeva said, beckoning him to the bed.

Jack blinked at him. Taking an extra heartbeat to convince his legs to start working again. He crossed the room at a slow, measured pace. Not sitting. Just standing in front of Neeva.

Jack carded a hand through Neeva's hair and the elder tilted his face up. Thrills running down his spine. “Serulla corda,” Jack breathed, the sweet words barely more than a murmur.

Neeva dragged him down onto the bed and kissed him like a man drowning. Jack's hands seemed to be everywhere at once, teasing and petting and stroking, sighing into his skin. He was so hot, once Neeva had carefully removed his clothing. Body burning like a supernova under his fingers.

“I want you,” Neeva hummed, straddling Jack's hips, letting his black hair tumble across his eyes like an inky cascade. It had gotten long, a distracted part of his mind said. How long had it been since he’d given himself a trim?

The song of their sighs reverberating around the room, Neeva sought Jack's mouth. Kissing him again and again and again until he had to break for air. Kissing Jack harder after every breath he took.

“I need you,” he continued, guiding Jack's large hands to his stomach, pressing them there with his own slimmer ones. Neeva burned a line of kisses across his broad chest, the hard muscle like sculpted granite, lapping at the sweat glistening on his skin.

Jack drew him back up so they were on a level, his lips warm and hungry, hands roaming Neeva's back. Sighing into the elders mouth. Their kiss deepening as Neeva rolled his hips, grinding against Jack's rapidly hardening length.

“I am afraid.” Neeva tangled their hands together to stop himself shaking, tremors running up and down his body. “Lysianassa, I am afraid.”

Jack rolled them over easily, catching Neeva's lip between his teeth. Not biting, no pain, just a sharpening of awareness.

“Afna yadakea... I won't hurt you.”

Neeva lay between Jack's arms when it was over, the younger man’s taste still sweet on his lips. Feeling safe and sated and immeasurably happy.

༄༄༄༄༄

“I forgot, I finished this yesterday but you distracted me before I could give it to you,” Jack muttered sleepily, rooting around in the pocket of his cotton trousers. He was hanging halfway out of bed to do so, as they were puddled on the ground where he’d abandoned them the evening previous.

Neeva's arms tightened around his middle. The boy snuffled into his hair and a smile broke across Jack’s face at the sound.

Even after three months together, since Neeva had finally opened up to him, since Jack had gotten up the courage to tell the boy how he felt, he wasn’t over it. He clung to those little sounds Neeva made, took comfort in the press of his plush lips, the foreign sensation of being loved. Maybe because he’d waited for it, fought against it (if briefly), worked up to it rather than just falling in with Neeva right away. Maybe not being with Neeva for those first three months, all the build up, made Jack cherish what they had even more.

“Another baby?”

“They’re called figurines, remember?” Jack asked, hand finally closing around the little wooden lizard.

“Figurines...” Neeva repeated, rolling the ‘r’ as Jack shifted them back up onto the mattress, “They are small, so I call them baby.”

His nose scrunched, lashes fluttering as he smiled. Jack couldn’t help himself. He had to drop a kiss on the tip of that nose. He just had to. “Here,” he said, settling the little carving on the boy's sternum and Neeva opened his eyes.

“Gani!” he squeaked, releasing Jack in favor of snatching up the figurine and holding it for closer inspection, “Ni laeva gani! What do you call them?”

“Lizard.”

“Lizard...” More rolling of r’s. Jack wasn’t over Neeva's accent either. He adored it.

Fingers entwined in Neeva's hair, heart skipping with delight, Jack grinned. He gave those inky locks the shortest of tugs.

“I still can't feel my legs,” Neeva whined, rolling onto his back. An adorable pout gracing those elfin features.

Jack grinned wider. “I think you're lying,” he replied, placing the gentlest of touches to the boy's soft tummy.

“No!” Neeva exclaimed. He narrowed his eyes at Jack, clutching the little lizard in a tight, long fingered fist.

“I think you just want me to carry you around all day.”

Neeva's muscles were tense where Jack brushed, thighs quivering slightly under the younger’s hands. Anticipation maybe? There was some kind of illicit thrill to it for Jack, having this boy in his bed. An ardent and improbable love coursing through him at the idea of Neeva being his.

Time froze still when the younger finally gave in to his impulses. Kissing Neeva's chin, then his cheek, his eyelids and his temples. Neeva leaned into him, accepting the tender ministrations with undisguised joy, sweet nothings Jack couldn’t understand spilling from between his lips.

Loud footsteps. Fast footsteps, coming closer as they beat a rhythm down the hallway outside.

“Lovebirds, cover up, I’m coming in!” Sebastian barely gave them five seconds to tug the blanket up over their shoulders before he tumbled into the room. “Ship!”

A few days after the discovery of their ruined boat, Jack and Sebastian had combed through the remains for anything they could salvage. Aside from some mapping equipment and a spare gun, they’d saved the shortwave radio. Sebastian had tinkered with it for weeks until he’d managed to make it work and they’d decided to keep it in the kitchen, since it was the room the three spent the most time in other than the library. For some reason, keeping a radio in a library seemed... disrespectful? So it had sat dormant in the kitchen for months now, not even a whisper of life, and Jack had managed to delude himself into thinking that nobody was coming. That he and Neeva had more time together than that which was allotted for their mission. And hearing the word ship, now, after everything that had happened, sent a finger of icy fear trailing down the length of his spine.

“I don’t know if it’s actually a ship or a schooner or just a sailboat but some kind of seafaring vessel is hailing us and we have to go see!”

“Okay, give me sixty seconds,” Jack replied, not allowing his voice to shake. Switching to autopilot.

His friend jogged back out into the hallway and Jack slid from between the blankets. His trousers were on and shirt halfway over his head before Jack realized that Neeva's face had gone white.

“Come on baby, get up, we’ve got to go,” he urged, repeating the words in Ojina and adding his pet name for good measure in hopes that Neeva would smile. They boy did not smile. “I’ve got to go, stay here if you’d like,” he added, pulling on his boots.

Still mostly dressed after last night, Neeva scooted out of bed. He stepped into his shoes and stood still, watching the younger man shrug his trench coat over his temple clothes. Following a pace behind the young soldier in absolute silence.

Sebastian led the way down the path to the beach, Jack's breath coming uncomfortably short. He resisted the urge to take his boy's hand. Didn’t reach back to find him. Feel him. Neeva didn’t say a single word, Pan appearing from the foliage and slinking at his side like a specter.

“There!” Sebastian called, pointing to a spot of white splashed across the normally empty horizon. He picked up his pace and Jack matched it, ringing in his ears and heart in his throat. It was a boat alright, sure and true, Command’s flag flying proudly from the roof of the cabin. One of theirs.

Jack thought back to the sunny day a few weeks ago when the three of them had lounged on these soft sands. Soaking up the sun's rays and drinking a peachy sort of cordial Neeva had dug out of the cellar. He and Jack had buried Sebastian up to his neck, their victim falling asleep several minutes before the job was actually completed. Neeva had nearly broken Sebastian's nose trying to rescue him from a feisty crab that decided it didn’t enjoy having its home invaded by pesky humans. One of the most perfect days of Jack's whole life. Now, one he wouldn’t likely be able to repeat again.

“Lysianassa?”

The whisper finally came and Jack looked back. Neeva was completely drained of color, face bloodless, fingers visibly trembling where he had knotted them in the hem of his shirt. Jack extended a hand but looked away from the boy. He couldn’t bear to see that fear in Neeva's eyes, normally so full of laughter. Jack felt Neeva lace their fingers together, the little wooden lizard pressing hard between their palms.

“Sebastian?! Jack?!”

The boat pulled as close to the shore as it could, rocking slightly in the gentle waves, the purr of the motor sounding foreign after so many months without electricity. Two figures were waving from the deck. Shrouded in uniform, metal glinting off the closures on the front of their jackets. One honey blonde and the other a caramel brunette.

“Jay?! Benny!” Sebastian called back. He was jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas, but Jack couldn’t bring himself to be happy at the sight of his friends. Not when their arrival heralded his departure from this place.

Wind off the bay whipped the young soldier's hair as he watched them lower the little skiff. Hop down into it. Slip through the surf until they bumped the sand. Sebastian had caught both men up in a hug before they had even stepped fully onto dry land.

Neeva released Jack and slid back into the shadows of the thick foliage lining the shore. Jack could still feel him standing there, seeing his luminous brown eyes beside Pans amber ones when he turned to look. He’d only just had time to slip the figurine into his coat pocket when Benny careened into him.

“Have you gotten taller?!” he screeched, blinking up at Jack with a smile that could make the sun hang its head in shame.

“No, you’ve gotten shorter,” Jack replied, allowing himself to be hugged.

“Weren’t there three of you just now? Are there people who live here? Where’d the other- holy shit!” Benny was trying to drag him towards the boat with a gun drawn before Jack realized what had so alarmed him.

“No, no it’s okay, put that away, he’s not dangerous!” he exclaimed, trying to take the weapon from his friend but Jay was shouting now too.

“Ashia, desio’ana Pan lana tiliankae,” Sebastian called, but Neeva didn’t listen. He didn’t take Pan and go to the temple. He just stood there, staring at the newcomers while the panther prowled back and forth in front of him.

“Your orithinio friend may not come with those,” Neeva said quietly, giving Jack a very pointed look and gesturing to the gun in Benny's hand. Pan growled softly.

༄༄༄༄༄

“This is fucking crazy. Like... actually fucking- if you had come back to Central and told me any of this stuff I’d think you’d fucking lost it.”

Jack hid his face in his hands. “I know. I wouldn’t believe me either but Seb will back me up.”

Benny nudged the young soldier with his toe and scooted over, slinging an arm around his shoulders. They were sitting in the library while Sebastian forced Jay to help him fix breakfast, and Benny had just finished interrogating Jack about every little detail of their stay on the island.

“So... let me just make sure I have all of this correct. You wrecked your boat, never made it to any of the other sites you were supposed to investigate, only one person lives here but it’s a holy place, and the guy can talk to that tiger with his mind.”

“Panther.”

“What?”

“Pan is a panther, not a tiger,” Jack sighed, resting his head on his friend's shoulder, “And he’s like... a god or something. I don’t fully understand it, Sebastian would be the better one to ask.”

The two sat silently for a moment, bird song leaking in from the open windows, until the soft padding of feet got Jack’s attention.

“Lysianassa?”

Jack raised his head. His eyes met Neeva's, face shrouded beneath the hood of his weird coat thing. It was oiled leather or some such like, meant to keep him dry when the rain got too heavy. Jack had never actually asked. He wished he had now.

“Yeah, baby?”

Neeva crossed his arms. “Sunrise food is ready.”

The young soldier held his boy's hand on the way to the kitchen, noticing the subtle tremor in his fingers. How cold he felt. But Neeva skittered always as soon as they reached their destination. Choosing instead to perch on a stool in the corner like a very pouty gargoyle.

“Baby?!” Benny whisper-shouted, elbowing Jack in the ribs on his way over to Jay.

A sudden and utterly absurd thought struck the young soldier. “Hey,” he muttered, pulling Sebastian aside as he went past, “Will you ask Neeva if he- uh... if he’s jealous?”

Sebastian choked on a snort. “Really?”

“Yes, he’s being weird.”

“Hey Neeva, are you-“

Jack stepped on his friend's foot. “In Ojina, obviously!” he snapped, trying to ignore Sebastian’s openly amused expression.

“Fine.” The elder of the pair turned to face their host, “Ashia? Ma stellaria?”

Neeva tilted his head, pretty eyes flashing dangerously and jaw clenched tight. “Aba,” he replied, damn near spitting the word before shifting around so he could glare at the newcomers more intently.

“Well, there you go,” Sebastian murmured, clapping Jack on the back, “I’d take that as a yes.”

༄༄༄༄༄

“Hey, where have you been all day?”

After Neeva had failed to appear for both lunch and dinner, Jack had worked up the nerve to come looking for him.

His boy was curled up on the patio with Pan, shrouded from the torrential rain by the low overhang. A flicker flash of lightning lit his face. The white light cast him in an almost sickly pallor and Jack held his hands out, palm up. Helping the elder to his feet.

“Chores.” Neeva fisted the front of his shirt, standing on tiptoe and pulling Jack down the few inches it would take for their mouths to meet.

A bit surprised but not at all displeased, Jack kissed him back. Lips softening against his boys fuller ones. There was something urgent, almost frantic in the way Neeva embraced him. Hauling himself up Jack's body and wrapping his legs around the younger's waist.

Jack pushed him up against the wall as gently as he could, hands on his backside, under his thighs, holding him up as though he weighed less than an ounce. He knew Neeva liked being held that way and was more than happy to provide.

Neeva squeezed him tight between his thighs, tongue flitting against his, the warmth of his body soaking right down to Jack's bones. The young soldier almost let himself enjoy it. Almost let himself believe that everything was alright between them. Almost let himself forget that he would have to leave this place once the others finished eating.

He sighed as he pulled away, just a little, just enough that he was able to look his boy in the eye. “I put the uh- the gani figurine in your room.”

“No speaking, pinera ni,” Neeva whispered, fingers curling in the hair on the nape of Jack's neck.

“No, we have to talk about this. We have to talk about this now.”

Neeva scowled at him, face a roadmap of dissatisfaction. He shimmied out of Jack's grasp and stomped, stomped out into the storm.

“Baby, hold on,” Jack called, reaching through the doorway to try and grab his coat without losing sight of his boy.

A hand closed around his wrist and the young soldier started in surprise. “What’s going on?” Sebastian asked, passing Jack his coat and joining him on the patio.

Jack sighed. “He’s not taking all of this well.”

“I’ll come with you to talk to him if you want? Unless you want to spend time alone?”

“No, no he loves you too, come on.”

The pair covered up and stepped out into the rain. It soaked through their clothes almost immediately, pouring down in freezing sheets that sent Jack shivering in his boots.

“Ashia?” Sebastian called, hands around his mouth as they tromped through the jungle.

It took the two soldiers almost ten minutes to find Neeva, as he was perched up in a tree and nearly invisible.

“Ashia, come down and talk to us.”

“Aba.”

“Please?”

“I do not understand.”

Sebastian sighed, crossing his arms and tapping his foot like a disappointed parent. “Yes you do.”

Neeva grimaced, normally easy demeanor replaced by something with a knife's edge. He swung back to earth and landed lightly on his feet, glowering up at the two soldiers.

A hint of panic began oozing through Jack’s mental defenses. “Listen, baby, you don’t have to be jealous of Benny, we’re just friends-“

“I do not care about your orithinio, or the pretty one,” Neeva snapped, cutting Jack's words off with a derisive snort.

“Are you upset that we’re leaving?” Sebastian asked, voicing the question Jack could not. He couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud, let alone say goodbye.

Sodden clothing stuck to his limbs and black hair hanging limply over his eyes, Neeva wrapped his arms around himself. He looked so soft it made Jacks heart ache.

“You knew this day would come, we were going to leave eventually. Don’t spend our last bit of time together pouting-“

“Come home with us,” Jack blurted, interrupting his friend with butterflies taking wing in his belly.

Dead silence for two, three heartbeats... and then words erupted from Neeva, shouting rapid fire Ojina too fast for Jack to have a prayer of understanding. Sebastian took over for him, answering just as swiftly in what Jack hoped was an attempt to calm Neeva down somewhat. If it was, it wasn’t having the desired effect.

“Uh, huh.”

“What?!” Jack asked, turning to look at his friend as Neeva continued to shout.

“I think he just called you willfully ignorant.”

Jack blinked in surprise.

“In addition,” Sebastian continued, staring at Neeva as he tried to translate, “He can’t leave the island because... because the island will die?”

Never before had Jack wished harder that he’d joined Neeva and Sebastian for their daily language lessons. Even if they were just an excuse for the two to fuck in private, Jack could have spent that time studying instead of running around outside, and then he would be able to understand his boy more easily.

“He says that you should know that he and the island are... are the same? That he told you about it and about Pan? And that- oh.” Sebastian snapped his mouth shut, giving Jack a strange look. “Greno wae,” he added, turning back to Neeva. That much Jack could understand at least. ‘Speak to him.’

“Aba!”

“Ida!”

“Aba!” and then something else Jack didn’t catch. He didn’t understand why Neeva was refusing to talk to him, talking would make this whole process so much easier. He hoped.

“Ida! Greno wae, ma yadakeasoa dammeri!” Sebastian replied, tone edging on harsh. Jack understood that as well. ‘Yes, talk to him, you are hurting his feelings.’

“Serulla corda, greno ni, please,” Jack tried lamely, using the Ojina pet name again to try and soften his boy up.

Neeva's big eyes swiveled in the young soldier's direction, shoulders slumping, all his bravado falling away in an instant as he looked at Jack.

Jack could feel a raw edge of nausea in the back of his throat. The soft scent of green damp all around them almost distracting. He didn’t even notice that Sebastian had taken a few steps back.

“Stay.”

The word hit Jack like a slap to the face and he recoiled slightly.

He hadn’t dared to hope, hadn’t dared to let himself think Neeva would want him to stay, hadn’t dared to let himself believe staying was an option. Jack turned to look at Sebastian but his friend's face was blank.

“Stay,” Neeva repeated, voice hitching and hugging himself tighter.

Jack cleared his throat. “Do you- do you really want me, or do you just not want to be alone?”

Neeva choked on a sob, tears mixing with the rain and running down his face. “I love you.”

Driven by instinct rather than conscious thought, Jack moved forwards, wrapping his arms around his boy and hugging him close. Petting the back of Neeva's head. Pressing kisses into his hair. “I love you too,” he breathed, squeezing his eyes shut.

“So stay with me.”

In all honesty, Jack could stay if he wanted too. He had no family to speak of, no one waiting for him when he got back to Central. He did have an apartment, but it was government issued and Command would just assign it to a different soldier if he didn’t need it anymore. Jack could stay. He’d be deserting if he stayed, technically, but he wasn’t important or high ranking enough for Command to actually come after him.

He’d be leaving his friends, would probably never see Jay or Benny or Sebastian again, but he loved this island. Loved the island with its demons and inexplicable magic and beautiful landscapes and... he loved the boy who lived here more than all of that put together. And Neeva wanted him to stay. It frightened Jack, saddened him somehow, unfamiliar with the sensation of being so wanted.

“Okay,” he said with a soft shrug, feeling the weight of months of worry lifting from his shoulders.

Neeva pulled back a little, an enormous smile spreading across his face as he looked up at the younger. “Truly?” he asked, like he didn’t believe Jack was telling the truth.

“Truly.”

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Neeva refused to let go of Jack for a single second, right up until the time came that he had to say goodbye to Sebastian.

“Come visit us,” he whispered, hugging his friend, breathing in the warm smell of his skin for probably the last time.

“I’ll try, next time I have a break,” Sebastian replied in Ojina, kissing the middle of Neeva's forehead before letting him go.

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

Jack finished saying his farewells and returned to Neeva's side, the elder latching tight to his arm. It almost didn’t seem real. That his love was staying with him. Jack was giving up so much to stay here but he was doing it anyway. Because he loved Neeva. And Neeva loved him too.

You are very lucky, little monkey.

I know.

“You know where to find us,” Jack called, their feet sinking into the sand as the other three got into their little skiff.

“Don’t kill each other before I have the chance to come visit,” Sebastian called back, a sad smile on his face.

“It was nice to meet you,” Neeva said to the two he didn’t know. It seemed the polite thing to do.

The brown haired one, the one who insisted on hanging off Jack jumped back out of the boat and hurried over, hugging Neeva surprisingly tightly. “Take care of our Jackiekie,” he murmured, pinching Jack’s cheek.

Neeva and Jack watched, waving, as the three orinthini hoisted the little skiff back up into their larger boat. Moments later, they were gone. Sailing out of the bay into the open ocean until they were no more than a white dot on the darkened horizon.

“I guess you’re stuck with me now,” Jack said, turning to wrap his arms around the elders waist.

Neeva beamed. “Not stuck, you are like a gift from the gods, Lysianassa.”

Jack cooed, Pan pacing behind them with his tail sweeping from side to side. “I love you so much,” he said quietly, resting his forehead against the elders.

“I love you more.”

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