The Heeded Call

WHOOO! WHOOO! Every night, I could hear that sound from the dilapidated house down the road. Every night without fail.

WHOOO! WHOOO! I sometimes couldn’t sleep at night, hearing that dreaded sound. Some nights it kept me up, some nights it met me up. I can’t say it was actually the owl that was the cause of my insomnia. I remembered as a child my great-grandmother used to say the sound of a barn owl hooting at night was a signal for death. Lord knows I didn’t need any more of that to come my way. With all I had lost in the last year, I wanted to just move forward and life to be the same again.

The same. Funny how those words would never again mean what it said, the same. This year was the hardest year of my life to have to live. But I was expected to just pick up where I left off and move on. I had a hole in my heart the size of a transmission filter. I would never be “the same” again. One of my closest friends tried to console me by cupping my hand and saying, “It’ll get better,” What is better at this point? Do you mean I will awaken from this nightmare and the world I knew would be, huh, “the same”? Do you mean I will pick up the phone, dial the number to the very reason I existed, hear her voice on the other end, and all my fears would vanish? Or do you just mean I will awaken every morning, attempt to go on with my day without breaking down into tears and as each new day comes I will hurt less and less. No one ever really knows how you feel unless they walk in your exact shoes, size and all. That’s the funny thing about life. You wake up some mornings and its sunshine and flowers. Then you can wake up the next morning with a pain inside you so fierce you feel like someone is ripping your very insides apart.

This particular night, however, was different. There was a calm breeze through the trees, a light wind. A little unusual for October in these parts of the south, but nonetheless, calming, soothing. I could hear the barn owl begin its nightly call and I began to feel adventurous. I arose from my bed, put on my robe and slippers, and commenced to walk down the road towards the house. As I walked with my flashlight in my hand, I started to feel uneasy. The weeds were overgrown and rats began to scurry as I shown the light on the path. I don’t know what in the world would make me come out at this time of night to look for anything! I was scary enough without asking for more to make my life worse. But it was something about this night, like it was calling my name to come forth into a deeper realm of mystery, to find an answer to which I didn’t know the question to. As I got closer to the house the barn owl called, “WHOO! WHOO!” It startled me at first, and I turned the light in the direction of the sound. A stout, brown strongly perched owl was in the bare, leafless tree. He was sitting perched in a way that a king sits on his thrown, and looking at me as if the say, “Why are you in my castle and just what are you looking for?”

I felt a cold shiver go down my back as he stared at me, those dark eyes piercing my heart. He looked inside me as if to read my mind and my soul. Suddenly, he raised his wings and flew at me and I quickly ducked down just in time for him to miss my head. I felt my heart leaping out of my chest and I turned to run away so he couldn’t get me. And when I turned, there he was, standing before me, a man with an owl’s head and a human body. I gasped as I felt the fear of this creature overtaking my being. I was paralyzed, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t move a muscle. I just stood there, seeing my life flash before my eyes. As I stood, motionless, he reached out his winged hand and spoke these words to me, “You are the one we have been calling! Take my hand and come. Follow me to your destiny.”

HUH!!!! My destiny? This must be some bad hallucination! I don’t remember drinking anything before bed. A million thoughts ran through my head as he started to walk towards me. I felt some feeling in my body and realize I was turning around. Everything was going in slow motion for me, but as I turned, which seemed to be very slow, I began to see more of these owl people. They were standing in the weeds and the shadows and they began coming towards me as well. My mind went blank as I could hardly describe to myself what I was feeling. I felt numb again. Then he looked at me and spoke in a calm voice, “You heeded the call because you knew the mission. We don’t want to hurt you. We want to help you. You have suffered many heartaches and painful days. We want to show you that all will be well.” I don’t know why I listened or even believed him, but in some strange way, I felt he knew what was going on. He knew me. He knew my pain. He knew my fears. He knew my tears. He just knew. He gave me some instructions. “Go back to your home and rest. We will not follow you or bother you. Tomorrow the barn owl will call again and you shall come. Tomorrow you will have your answer.”

I don’t know how I proceeded to move, but somehow I found the strength and ability to walk back to my house and get back in the bed to sleep. This time, I went straight to sleep, no tossing or turning, no insomnia, no sounds, thoughts, just dead sleep. I awakened the next day feeling different. I couldn’t help but to replay the events from the previous night in my mind, but it was bits and pieces of thoughts and images. It made me think perhaps it was all a dream. My day was spent in the usual fashion, daily chores, work, cooking, etc. The things I would normally do I did, just an average, typical day for me. As day started to turn to dusk, I prepared myself for bed, having convinced myself that all of the previous night’s events were just an illusion and I must have imagined it or had a bad dream. As the night drew in I followed my usual routine and promptly placed myself in bed for a good night’s rest.

Deep in the night, as I slumbered, I began to hear the owl call. At first, I told myself this could not be true and tried to ignore the sound. But the sound waves danced in my head and seemed to lift me out of my bed, and again I found myself heeding the call, trampling down the road towards the house. What is this powerful hold of curiosity that makes me do things I would never have done? Why am I entertaining this idea or thought of meeting with creatures beyond this world? And why me? These questions pondered in my head with each step towards the dilapidated house. Again, the barn owl was in the tree and again, the owl man stood behind me with the same crowd in the weeds, startling me as the night before. This time, he pointed towards the house and said, “Go inside.” I was definitely leery about this now. As long as I’m outside, I could run, but once inside I’m stuck to be condemned to whatever frightening tortures they could think of. As I turned to look where pointed, I was aghast when I saw a familiar face looking at me. It was her, the very reason I was who I was, the apple of my life. She was shrouded in white, illuminating the night in a ghostly essence and she looked so very beautiful. She had a translucent body but I could still see the beauty on her face. She came forward and held out her hand to me. “Come with me my child,” she spoke in a soft, soothing voice that I could not question if this was genuinely her. As I got closer, the warmth from the apparition made me feel like I was when I was a child, vulnerable yet secure. “Mama, is it really you?” “Yes child, it’s me. I asked them to bring you so I could tell you I miss you. I know your heat breaks when you think of the memories, but I am with you always. I am following you, looking down on you, protecting you. I see your tears but I want you to know, I’m ok! I promise you.”

The tears just started flowing and my heart let out a scream that even the owl’s call paled in comparison. I never thought I was alone, but I guess my grief overwhelmed the very thought of her. She was taken from me so fast, that I never had the luxury of processing what had happened and life without her. I was going through the motions of life and it was taking a toll on my heart.

“I will leave you a sign to let you know I am there. When you see a dime, know that is me with you. Remember I used to collect them? I was collecting them for you. When you come across one, wherever you are, know that I am there watching over you.” I continued to cry, yet now the tears were of happiness and joy. I wasn’t able to say goodbye, and now I could tell her how I felt. “Mama, you don’t know how I loved you so much. You being snatched away from me has been painful. All I ever wanted was for you to be okay. I love you so much!” I held out my arms to hug her. Although she was an apparition, I could feel her arms around me. I said my goodbyes and blew her a kiss. And in an instant, she vanished.

The owl man reached for my shoulder. He gently spoke, “From this day forward, know that you will rest easy. No more insomnia, no more insecurities, no more pain. Think of your mom as you saw her tonight, happy, rested, peaceful, and remember her words, she is watching you. Look for the dimes. Now go in peace my child. The barn owl shall not call on you ever again.”

I turned away, picked up my flashlight, and walked back to my house. I nestled in my bed and went fast asleep. There was no noise, no sounds, just a peaceful quiet. When I awakened the next day, I felt refreshed and anew. I felt better than I had felt in years. As I got ready for work, I saw something shimmering on the floor from the sunlight’s rays. It was a dime. I cried as I picked it up and looked upward, smiling through the tears. As I got in my car to go to work, I found another dime. When I got to work, I saw another on my way into the building. Her constant reminder of her being with me all the way, wherever I go. Since that night, I haven’t heard the barn owl in the old dilapidated house, hadn’t seen any strange or unusual things, hadn’t been feeling lonely, nor have I had any sleepless nights. Just as the owl man said, it has been. I can’t thank him enough for allowing me to close a chapter of my life that needed to be confirmed. But every time I see and a barn owl that looks like the one I used to hear, I smile. Because deep down I know he’s going to be calling someone.