The Girl who survived

The weather is breath taking it is windy dark outside not letting sun to rise. Alina is lying in her bed thinking, what she should do next as she is done everything to live her life. But life is not doing fair. The thoughts are hitting her continuously.

Alina" why do I exist? " continuously asking herself because she thinks she has grown up doing thing that are good according to her understanding but life is still hitting her like it has a stick and she has done something that is unforgiveable.

Alina wake up opened the window of her house's only room. it is the morning of her dreams beacuse it is dark cloudy outside and about to rain. She took a book named "Don't worry" and set on a chair outside under the porch in her house. The silent morning made her to be more focused and read some words which she wants to hear but not hearing it from any where. Actually she needs motivation to not giveup. Because it is life and it is perfect in its place.

Alina knows what she is going through is not permenent. It will change today or tomorrow but she wants to understand why it is happening what has she done to be punished or tested like this.

The watch is showing seven o clock. The small droplets of rain are hitting her feet as she is striched them outside. Alina is thinking there was a time, when she loved this weather because it was full of peace and joy. And today the same weather has no emotions. It seems like something is dead inside in her body. Now she does not have any interest for thing once they were the reason for her happiness and she has never thought she would see this phase in her life where things no more excite her once they did.

Now it is ten o clock and Alina is still sitting like she has forgotten to leave. When she remember it is been too long since she is sitting, she thinks no matter what had happened to her but there are still things that she still like to do. It was her habite to sit too long in a place and not leave until she has remembered something to do. She is still doing it. She has been an introvert and still her nature is same. She has loved books, rain, flowers and she still does. She thinks, why hasn't she lost interest in these? When this thought hit her, she start to connect her life's happenings.

Alina's thoughts flash back five years ago. It is her graduation ceremoney and she is the gold medalist. She came early because she had to do some practics while her family was about to join later. She is looking at the door because her family is about to reach. She is very excited because it was her mother 's dream to be a gold medalist and she would be proud of her. Then the ceremoney started. She thought it has been too long since she has been watching outside at the door for her family and she kept watching..........

She never thought her family would never reach. She got a message that on way her family was hit by a truck. Her father, mother with elder sister has lost their lives leaving her alone in this world. Alina was in shock. She couldn't process what is happened.

When she opened her eyes she was in hospital bed. She couldn't belive that this has happened to her. As time passed she started hating life beacuse she was living with her uncle where everyday she faced tourcher and violance. One day she decided to leave her uncle's house and she did it. She start living with one of her friend beacuse her friend was living alone in the house but was not her own property.

Alina knew one day she has to leave this house, that' why first she deceided to do a job. She applied for more then 30 postions but nothing happend. Alina decided to do freelancing, she tried for it and nothing happend. She deceided to write and started writing articals and posted them in some online websites. A few of them got published but most of them were rejected.

Alina had already lost interest in things and these failures have made her life worst. Because she is only struggling to live and she is in at that point where she finds no meaning in life. She is continously struggling just to live but every thought brings her ending her life.....................

..................to be continued