Just A Friendly Reminder
Memo with Various "Instructions Included" (challenge)

Hello Residents, this is the President of your HOA, Cardwell Highground, with a friendly reminder to all 711 houses in our Community. (For your assistance, I have underlined items below.)
I won’t disclose my age, but let’s say there are very few of you older than I am. Everyone is welcome to drive by my home. You will see the HOA’s expectations for your property when you see mine. (Feel free to stop and say hi, and take photos!)
Ladders are your friend! I have a collection, and I use many of them more than once per week. Ladders help you remove pine needles and leaves from your gutters and the rooftop.
Other common items in the home that are helpful are:
- Gardening trowels - they do more than dig holes
- Fingernail scrubbers, or stiff nylon dish brushes, can brighten house trim
- A soft, child's toothbrush is fantastic for paint touchups around windows (ideally, it should be 60-75 degrees outside)
Windows love to sparkle - no matter the weather (I was washing my 2nd-story windows in that last wind storm we had - wow, what a mad ride that was!).
Doors want to be cherished! I like to see a reflection in my white three-car garage door, so I wipe it down twice a week.
Trees
Just a friendly reminder: removing trees from your property without city approval is prohibited. Even if you deem the tree dead, or it drops too many leaves or has roots growing toward pipes, you must get approval. Once the city approves a request, send it to the HOA Tree Committee with your application.
** After the Tree Committee has signed off, they will notify you. (Your email should be up to date in the Portal.) Upon notification, you must give five days' [Mon-Fri] notice before removing the tree. (Yes, you are responsible for the disposition of what you destroy.)
Golf Course
Walking on the golf cart path is prohibited unless you are golfing. The course is not a dog park or training circuit. The fenced-off-leash dog park is within 1 mile of the housing campus.
Perhaps you have difficulty reading the posted signs. Let me be clear. There are signs, whether you choose to ignore them or claim they are faded and illegible. Effective the first week in June, I will personally repaint the wording on the golf course signs to make it more vivid and easier to read (the golf course appreciates my volunteering to do this and has funding to add signs at path entrances that currently lack one).
The golf club maintains the course (to which the majority of you do not have a membership). The edges are minimally maintained to preserve their natural state, and the course is considered a nature preserve. Dog owners aren’t picking up poop on the fairway. I see you with my binoculars. (Do not contact me about the wild Canadian geese poop on the course.)
To be good neighbors, the HOA Board has decided this year to charge a one-time $125 per-house assessment to install cameras on the golf cart paths. Trespassers will be fined (see Fine section in the homeowners’ portal). This assessment is due no later than July 15.
Parking
If you have multiple vehicles and park on the street, park in front of your own house. The streets are curved and narrow for aesthetics. Parking cars in front of your house and across the street leaves only one car able to drive. The streets are two lanes.
Stop signs
STOP at a stop sign, even if you are the only vehicle on the road. We are working with the city to install cameras, so those of you who roll through or don’t stop at all will eventually receive a fine. (The Board hopes that the installation of cameras will be completed by the end of the year.)
Roundabouts
The vehicles in the roundabout have the right-of-way. Outside the circle, you must yield to those inside the circle. We know you are in a hurry to get to work at warehouses like Home Depot and Amazon, but please learn the rules of the road so you know how to enter and exit roundabouts. To be courteous, consider signaling your intention when leaving, although it is not required.
Our monthly meetings are on the 2nd Tuesday of each month, unless it is a federal holiday (and then held on Thursday of the same week). We post the meeting schedules and minutes (once approved) in the portal.
Updates to the CCRs and other specifics are available in the portal. We do not email or send updates via postal mail (we strive to keep your costs down). Each owner (not renter) should regularly access the HOA portal to stay up to date.
If you need my address or any further information, send me a message through the homeowners' portal.
Kind Regards,
Cardwell Highground, President, Sunny Restrictions Community
Copyright © 1/9/2026 by Andrea O. Corwin
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About the Creator
Andrea Corwin
🐘Wildlife 🌳 Environment 🥋3rd° See nature through my eyes
Poetry, fiction, horror, life experiences, and author photos. Written without A.I. © Andrea O. Corwin
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Comments (13)
Absolutely love it!💖🤣 Especially like: “Windows love to sparkle - no matter the weather (I was washing my 2nd-story windows in that last wind storm we had - wow, what a mad ride that was!).”😅
The obsessive attention to detail ladders, toothbrushes, reflections in garage doors turns the mundane into a comic spectacle. Brilliant.
Nice work, Andrea, I sense you have been through this is something similar. Nothing like an HOA to play all official.
Hahahahaa! I’ve been there. HOAs are both frustrating and helpful.
All I can say is know what you’re signing up for before you move in. I’ve lived in several HOA communities and this isn’t very far off.
Andrea - This is so funny, but many times realistic. I laughed all the way through it, and thought about my neighbor, who has junk all over his front yard. I thought he would have a difficult time in the HOA. Good take on the challenge, and nicely done!!!
This has to be an actual printed copy….I never had to deal with HOA or Strata committee (Thankfully) This is funny yet I think for some it may trigger….lol
LOL, very realistic, I hope to never have that much time on my hands. 👏👌 I even lived in a town that was basically one giant HOA. The "code enforcement" went around with rulers measuring grass height. They had paint swatches to decide whether your house's color was unacceptable. It was nuts, of course, it was Florida, go figure.
OMG, Andi. This would piss me off so much hahaha. I was getting more irate by the subtle patronising tone and passive-aggressive nature of the HOA president. I am quite sure, though never stayed in one but have written about those kindsof communities in the past, that this is not a whole lot different or OTT to the real things you'd get. But, man, you judged this so well. I loved how it was just on the right side of "that makes sense and is fair enough" and "oh fuck off, you micromanaging piece of crap" lol. Great great entry, that had me both irate and laughing. loved it!
Fun and excellent take on the challenge
Sounds like something I’d receive from my HOA manager :). Did you mean to duplicate the text in the Stop Signs section, Andi?
Hahahahahahaha I had fun reading this!
Good dear