The fourth time I committed suicide

Dear mom and dad

I want to take advantage of this, what I hope is my fourth and last suicide, to express to you in writing everything that I had not been able to tell you until now. It has been very difficult for me to speak to you with sincerity and frankness, I learned that very well from you, avoiding telling us things face to face.

I don't really know how much pain and confusion it will cause each of you, but I do know how much it will affect you socially among your circles of friends. I couldn't even do suicide right, this time, I swear, it will be the last. It's been something I've considered deeply and I think it's best for everyone.

For years, I lived in constant oppression in our relationship. Their expectations and demands that they placed on me were overwhelming, they wore me down, consumed me, never being able to fulfill them. Living “as a family” was really about staying trapped in a cycle of physical and emotional toxicity that broke me. Each was a constant struggle to stay afloat, to maintain my own identity and find happiness in the midst of the darkness that was thrown at me.

It's not about blaming them, or pointing fingers, I just need to be honest about how I've been feeling. With you I learned very well to be invisible, to be misunderstood, as if my dreams and desires did not matter. Their constant pressure for me to follow their path, a path that did not resonate with me, wore away the possibility of a future in my spirit.

However, despite all this, I want you to know that committing suicide for the fourth time is my way of telling you that I love you and wish the best for you. I would like to believe that, far from my presence, they will be able to find the happiness they deserve, that they never had. My leaving is not an act of abandonment, but a desperate attempt to find my own path and allow them to find theirs.

I ask you to please understand my position and accept my decision. It's not easy, I know, but I am convinced that it is necessary. Please, I beg you, don't ask to be revived, if this, my fourth attempt to leave, doesn't work. I hope you can move forward, find peace and happiness in your lives, freed from the burden that I represent for you.

With all my love and pain,

Your son.

“Behind all behavior there is a positive intention (or there was when it began).”

Assumption of Neurolinguistic Programming.

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• This is the English version of the story: "La cuarta vez que me suicidé" posted for the contest "The Keyword of the Week" on Steemit. Translation with Google Translator.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES

The relationship between parents and children is complex and can be an important factor in a person's mental and emotional health. It is possible that experiences of oppression, emotional abuse or neglect by parents could generate feelings of anger, resentment and desire for revenge against them, against others and against oneself.

However, it is important to keep in mind that each situation is unique and multifaceted. Self-inflicted violence, like suicide, is an extremely sensitive issue that can have multiple causes and contributing factors. We cannot generalize or blame parents exclusively as the only motivation behind these acts.

It is essential to approach the topic of suicide from a compassionate and empathetic perspective, seeking to understand and support those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts and emotions. Early intervention, support from mental health professionals and the creation of support networks are essential to prevent self-inflicted violence and promote mental health.