The Flight from Hell: part 1

What a day! Joanna thought as she settled into her seat. This morning had been one thing after another! First, her alarm didn’t go off on time. The good news was she woke up on her own in time to make her flight. The bad news? She woke up three hours late and had to rush to shower and finish packing.

Then her cab didn’t show up. When she called the company, they said they had no record of her booking. Figures! Of course all the taxis were booked, so she had to request an Uber instead. Thank goodness there was a driver nearby!

When she finally made it to the airport, there was a huge amount of people - even more than normal for this time of year - in the security line ahead of her. Little by little, the line inched its way along until Joanna’s turn came a full hour later. She thought everything would be smooth sailing from there, but she was wrong. Surprise! She was one of the lucky people “randomly selected” for a pat down. Never fucking fails! She thought. One of the joys of being plus-sized…

After spending a ridiculously long time at airport security, Joanna made it to her gate just as the call for first-class boarding rang out over the intercom. She ran to join the line without so much as a moment to catch her breath, dragging her carry-on behind her.

Joanna sighed, closing her eyes. Come tonight, all the hassle would be worth it. In just four short hours from now, she’d be living it up at her dad’s Manhattan penthouse. High-end shopping, swanky restaurants, Broadway shows… Yes, please!

*********************************

A loud yap jerked her out of her daydream, and she glanced up to see a flight attendant escorting an elderly lady to the seat diagonally across the aisle from Joanna. Tucked under the woman’s arm was a pink pet carrier, inside of which was a very angry-looking chihuahua. The owner was somehow even louder than the dog! Joanna overheard the old woman chatting with the flight attendant over the chorus of barking and snarling.

“Thank you kindly, dear! These old bones ain’t what they used to be! Oh, what’s that? I’m going to New York to live with my son. He worries about me being by myself, and he’d know. He’s a doctor.” The old lady beamed as she said that part. “His name’s Joshua. Do you know him?”

Why would the flight attendant know your son?! Joanna thought. She had to fight the urge to roll her eyes as the old lady stowed the carrier with the still yapping dog inside under the adjacent seat. She bought an extra seat for her dog? More likely, the son bought it for her, but either way, someone was made of money!

Joanna looked around at the rest of the ragtag group assembled in the first class cabin. Behind the dog lady was a young couple cuddling and smooching each other, shiny new wedding bands glinting on their fingers.

“I love you, snugglebutt,” the man said.

“Aww! I love you too, honey bunny!” the woman replied.

Eww! Were they going to do this the whole flight? Joanna didn’t think she could take four hours of all that cutesiness without gagging! Her eyes wandered to the row behind the handsy couple, and she saw a harried-looking mother with a little boy. The boy frowned and fidgeted in the aisle seat. “Mom, I’m bored! When can we go?”

“It shouldn’t be much longer now.”

That answer didn’t satisfy the boy. He slumped down sulkily and began kicking the back of the seat ahead of him, though the woman occupying that seat was too busy kissing her new husband to notice. Really glad I’m not in that seat, Joanna thought.

********************************

Hearing a soft harumph, she faced the front again to find the passenger in the seat ahead of her berating a flight attendant. She didn’t catch the start of their conversation, but she had some idea what must’ve started it. The flight attendant probably asked the guy to do something he didn’t like,,, either that or he asked her to do something. And he seemed the type too! Bald guy in a suit and tie with an iphone in one hand and a Starbucks cup in the other. The textbook arrogant businessman type.

“I’m not turning my phone off, you dumb bitch! I have an important deal to close in -”

Joanna was so done with this guy! “Hey!” she interrupted, peering around the seat. “Don’t talk to her like that. She’s just doing her job.”

The businessman glared at her, wrinkling his nose as if he’d just smelled something foul. “What would you know about doing a job? You look like you’ve never worked a day in your life. Do yourself a favor, girlie, and learn to respect your superiors.”

“I hope you don’t mean yourself.” A tall dark-haired guy voiced exactly what Joanna was thinking before she had the chance. The businessman gave him the same icy glare, opening his mouth to reply, but the dark-haired guy cut him off. “How about you do us all a favor and do as she asks?”

The dark-haired guy smiled as he added, “The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll get to New York and close that important deal.”

Joanna half-expected more insults to follow, but to her surprise, the businessman turned off his phone and put it in his jacket pocket. Her eyes followed the dark-haired guy down the aisle to the last remaining seat in first class, the one behind her. Okay, who was this guy and how did he get that snob to do what he wanted? Was he magic or something?

The dark-haired guy opened the overhead bin, and Joanna heard grunting and rattling as eh tried to stuff his bag inside. “Careful! Precious cargo,” she said, jumping up to move her own bag.He shot her an intrigued look, and he elaborated. “It’s just a birthday present for my dad. Took me forever to make it!”

“Is that what brings you to New York?” he asked.

Joanna nodded. “Yeah, my dad invited me to stay for his birthday weekend. What about you?”

“I’m auditioning for a Broadway show.”

“Wow, I’m impressed! Maybe I’ll see you onstage sometime.” Joanna replied with a smile. That smile turned into an awkward giggle as she realized she hadn’t yet introduced herself. “I’m Joanna, by the way.”

“I’m Erik.” He smiled back, shaking her hand.

Before Joanna could respond, the flight attendant appeared. “Sir, ma’am, I need you to take your seats, please.”

“Oops, sorry!” Joanna sat down, buckling her seatbelt. She only half-listened to the captain’s welcome speech and the flight attendants’ safety demonstration. This wasn’t her first flight; she’d heard it all before. Even if she was interested, it wasn’t as if she could hear much of it anyway over the yapping dog, chatty old lady, grumbling businessman, cooing couple, and screaming child.

She absentmindedly stared out the window at the darkening sky. “Hmm, looks like rain,” she remarked offhandedly.

“Just what we don’t need, right?” Erik responded. Leaning around the back of her seat, he added, “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be stuck here with these idiots any longer than necessary!”

“I know! Talk about a flight from hell!”