The Familiar Taste

A cool autumn breeze blows through my hair. I should feel the tickling of each strand as it feathers against my skin. However, I still feel nothing. An emptiness echoes within me. All my senses becoming numb as a result.

As I lie here underneath the pear tree, the sunset casting such beautiful colors swirling through the sky. I am reminded of the foolish girl I once was. Naïve and trusting, never a good combination. I know better now though. Sadly, it has left a skeptical hollow woman in the place of the girl I once was. How can one be so hollow inside and yet have no room to allow anyone in?

"Maybe it's not emptiness that resides inside of you, Rayne." I say to myself.

The last few rays of sunlight beaming through the branches of the pear tree, I notice a pear that seams to stand out amongst all the others. The rays of light appearing to beam around it, highlighting it. It is too perfect to ignore, and I must admit how much I feel drawn to it. Without another though, I pluck it from it's branch. Rubbing the pear against my pant leg, like Micah and I used to do all the time before taking the first bite. An all too familiar ache forms inside my chest. Brushing the feeling off, I take a bite of this perfect pear.

The sweetness hits my tongue, the juiciness fills my mouth, and as I chew the bite, I close my eyes. Relishing in the pear's perfection, I sit at the base of the pear tree. Leaning my back on the trunk of the tree, I sigh with gratitude to the tree for making such a perfect fruit. Looking down at the fruit, seeing my single bite taken out of it, I notice my vision begins to blur. My head begins to spin as my body starts to tingle all over.

I try to walk but all I can manage to do is a pitiful crawl. Coughing and dragging myself across the ground, it becomes harder to breath. I have to stop, just long enough to catch my breath. Rolling over onto my back, my eyes rest on the night sky lit up with stars. My vision blurs in and out. Then, darkness takes over.

I begin to regain consciousness at the sound of rushing water, the creek. But how did I get down here? My eyes feeling as heavy as a ton of bricks, I struggle to open them. As my eyes open I notice a dark figure bent over at the water's edge. It is still dark outside, but the stars and the moon illuminate much of the area around me. The dark figure stands and starts to walk towards me, my body stiffens in fear.

"Fear? I'm actually FEELING fear. I haven't FELT anything in so long..." I think to myself. The figure comes into focus as he kneels beside me, offering me water.

It's Micah...

The one I gave my heart to, the one I cherished most in life, and the one who ripped my heart into tiny pieces.

"What are you doing here Micah?" I hiss.

"Saving you. You're welcome by the way." Micah says flatly.

"After what you did? You have lost your mind if you think coming back now is going to make up for everything you have done."

"Look, Rayne. If I could have stopped what happened, if I could have prevented you from being hurt, if I could change ANY of that... I would." Micah's face so solemn in the moonlight.

My heart aches at the sight of him. Compassion, need, and love all mixed with hurt, fear, and sorrow. I sit up and walk to the water's edge, trying to put some distance between the two of us. I longed for this opportunity for quite some time now, and now that I actually have that moment, I am not so sure I can handle it. What do I say? What do I do?

Micah walks up to me, closing the distance between us. I turn around, feeling him coming in even closer. I am paralyzed. Like a deer in headlights. With Micah so close, I can feel the heat coming off his body. Sending warmth through my entire body, and making me shudder in response.

I love him, yet I hate him for what he did.

I long for him, yet I am drowning in hurt whenever I am around him.

He is so close, I am engulfed in his scent. Breathing him in is intoxicating. His eyes study my face, and I know he can tell the kind of effect he has on me. His sly grin confirms that for me.

"Back off Micah." My words come out raspy and hushed.

"You say that Rayne, but I don't think you actually want me to."

He is right. I don't. As much as I hate to admit it, I don't want him to back off. In fact, I don't want him to ever leave my side. But why now? Why does he come back to me now? After all this time has passed...

"Why did you leave me Micah?" I finally ask, trying to mask the sob lingering in the back of my throat.

His face softens, and a flash of hurt flickers within his eyes. He hesitates, and the silent pause between us couldn't feel heavier. As his hands reach up to hold my face, he runs his thumb across my bottom lip, sending chills throughout my entire body and making me crave for his lips to be pressed against mine.

"Rayne... I didn't leave you. You left me." He finally says with such sincerity.

I am baffled by his remark.

"Hear me out, okay?" Micah continues, "I went mad after you left, but then I became determined to figure out what happened. It took some time to do so, but finally.... I figured it out. Which is how you came to be here now."

"What are you talking about Micah?”

"Rayne, we don't inhabit the same realm. You belong in one, and I belong in another. We happened across a way into each other's realms, finding one another. Only... to be doomed to never be able to truly exist in each other's realm." Micah explains.

This can't be happening.

"So, the last time I saw you, when we fell asleep under the pear tree together..." I begin.

"I didn't leave you Rayne. We were in my realm, which looks much like yours." Micah pauses, "I woke up and you were gone. To say that I was devastated is an understatement."

Micah's eyes glaze over with a look of utter loss, a look and feeling that I know very well.

"Why is it that we can't exist in the same realm together?" I hesitate asking, not sure if I really want to know the truth of this.

Micah closes his eyes and casts his face upwards towards the night sky. His moonlit face is so handsome. Tears well up behind my eyes, as memories of us together fill my mind, making me realize how much I've missed him. Bringing his face back to facing me, he opens his eyes and puts his hand in mine, interlocking our fingers.

"Walk with me? Like old times?" Micah asks.

I nod in agreement as we turn our backs to the creek and head towards the pear tree at the top of a hill.

We begin to remanence on our old memories with one another, memories that began all the way back when we were both kids.

"Micah, why were we able to see one another so much when we were children and only a few times as adults?" I ask.

"From what I figure and have been able to find out, I think it has to do with the fact that as children, our concept of what could be fact and what could be fiction was so thin. We didn't question the possibility I guess, or the fact that we believed in more 'impossible' things back then."

What he says makes sense. I believed in way more then than I do now, for sure. And nowadays, I believe in even less, things like happiness, and true love, and that there are people that are trustworthy out there.

"As I’ve learned more about this, I’ve been able to believe in much more than I used to. I understand the place you have been in for such a very long time. I’ve been there too."

Micah stops walking and pulls me closer to him. Facing one another, Micah wraps his arms around me. His warm embrace brings with it such an overwhelming rush of emotions. His forehead resting against mine as we hold one another, steps away from our pear tree.

The same spot we met for the very first time as kids. The same place we used as kids for our 'base' when we'd play hide and seek. The home of our 'first kiss' as teenagers. The sacred spot where I surrendered myself completely to him as a young woman.... and the place where I woke up the following morning to find him gone and to never be heard of ever again.

His lips press against my forehead, kissing me so gently. Tears dropping from my closed eyes and falling down my cheeks. It then hits me what this is...

It's goodbye, forever. The last time we will ever be able to see one another again. Not sure how I know this, it's more like a feeling that is tugging at my heart and at my soul.

"I have so many questions Micah... But I get the feeling that this opportunity, us being together, isn't going to get another chance to happen again..."

"You're right in what you're feeling. This is our last chance to see one another Rayne. But that shouldn't stop you from asking what you want to know." Micah sweetly says as he looks at me with such intensity.

The questions I want to have answered are racing through my mind, but I can't bring myself to ask them. Not now. Not knowing that these are our last moments together. Instead, I grab his hand and guide him over to our pear tree with me. He leans against the trunk of the tree with his back, opening his arms to let me sit within them.

Sitting there inside Micah's arms, we gaze at the stars together, soaking up the last few moments that we have with one another.

As the sun begins to rise, the cascade of colors dance across the sky, illuminating the leaves of our pear tree that towers above us. Looking up, I notice a beautiful pear, a perfect pear. I stand and pluck the pear from its branch. Offering it to Micah and watching as he takes a bite and offers it back to me. After I take my bite, I relish the delicious, sweet fruit in the arms of my love.

The hazy dizziness begins to consume me, but this time I’m at peace with what I know is to come. Micah whispers to me as the darkness pulls me from his arms, "I will love you always."

Waking up at the base of our pear tree, alone, a perfect pear with two bites taken out of it rests in my lap. A smile spreads across my face while a single tear drops from my eye.

I am no longer hurt or upset for what could be seen as a loss. Instead, I’m renewed with a sense of joy for the love I was so fortunate to experience. Something so out of this world and so extraordinary.

I look up into the branches of our pear tree and whisper into the wind, "I too, will love you always. Until we meet again, Micah. In this world or the next."