The Eternal Echo of a Love’s Illusion

« Do you love me? »

« What do you mean? Of course, I do. You’re the love of my life!”

Leaving my flat in New York and running to hide in familiar Parisian alleys was the only way I could survive the hell you put me in.

It’s legendary to live a love that has saved you from pain, kept you safe, and then trapped you in a timeless machine filled with an unnecessary recalling that constantly reminds you of the stakes at hand.

We’ve been through this spiral many times now, so, we’re familiar with this dance and its steps. The sound of our music downstairs is just a permanent stab to the wound I once had before you brought your magical hand and wrote poems all over it, again.

What a great love we shared!

The kind that keeps you stranded, with no motive to move on after it ends. You give up your old ways and habits because you got used to the mess everyone saw but were infatuated with an idea you created.

Now, he wants to make amends.

Remember our sleepless nights in Amsterdam, running from town to town to escape our madness? And remember how I loved you into the man that they wanted?

But all I ever wanted was rubies and rings and boredom. You couldn’t give me that!

Still, you swore I was the love of your life.

You dimmed my light, and you stored me in a house. I used to think this was your way of saving me from myself. But all you were doing was blurring my periphery so I could see no one else but you.

Spending six years in your daunting penthouse turned into a golden cage. I loved it, but I quickly noticed how narrow it had been. That’s when your bravery lost its colors with the rain and showed cowardice.

You couldn’t make me your bride, still, I was the love of your life.

My shiny clothes and diamond rings, I gave them all up ever since I saw your face in that dimly lit place when you were clean-shaved, and my hair was bleached. You remember the girl you fell in love with, she had them all wrapped around her finger; however, she chose you amongst all of them.

What a loss of time, our dreamless nights were shaken to the core by your wasted truth and hopeful lies.

I said I was fine, and I know that these decisions take time, but don’t you think six years were enough for you to know if you wanted a forever with me?

You said you loved me more than you loved yourself and your parents and all your friends, and I dumbly laughed in your car because I was the love of your life.

Sacred oaths meant nothing to you, that was a red flag I gladly overlooked. Therefore, now, I’m to blame for taking your words to heart, and you run with mine thinking that you’ve got luck. Because you’re still young, and I’m getting old.

The baby we never shared, we’ll keep it buried, don’t you think we’ll meet at the cemetery? I wonder when we do, will you then recall that once, I was the love of your life?

Now I’m dressed in white and golden jewels, I learned that love was never cruel. When you meet a man who is not an excuse, they never leave at the altar except with you.

As much as I loved the idea of us, I regret you taking the youthful years of my life.

Now I’m wearing a black gown since your life was short. I’m at your wake trying not to show my triumphant smile because they’ll never know how you died in silence after you quit the storm.

They didn’t know I walked through life carrying my broken heart and wearing a fake smile. You won’t hear about me, in a long time because now I’m living a new life you know nothing about, with the love of my life.

I hope you make up your mind. I hope you know the difference between a mockumentary and being momentary. Boys sell you these schemes like your life depends on it.

And before you know it, you’re mourning, the loss of your life.

Inspired by: LOML — Taylor Swift (TTPD) ©2024