The Empty Heart

Day 731

Today is two years since the first bomb was dropped. They bombed Washington, but before the first bomb fell, we had unleashed our nuclear arsenal. Their allies, our allies, everyone who had the bomb joined in.

Now…life, if you can call it that, is just one endless stream of grey/black walls, flickering fluorescent lights and the sound of recirculated air through vents. Food is simple, ready to eat meals that the government loaded these places up with. We have to break into the supplies caches due to their not being any really leadership or authority figures. But there are about 150 of us in this bunker. It was meant for so many more, but we are all that made it.

They supplied the bunker with books and exercise equipment so that we at least could have some form of entertainment and something to work towards with our own self-care.

Happy two years in the bunker I guess.

Day 736

Something odd happened today. The lights and air shut off for a little while. It seemed like forever as in the dark there is no concept of time. When you are alone with yourself and all you can see is black, and all you can hear is your own breathing, the scuttling of others feet on the concrete floor, the sobbing of people scared, time just seems to stop. But suddenly it all started again, back to the never-ending flicker of the fluorescent lights. I still don’t know why the decided these were the best choice. It feels as if they are sucking the life from me…suck, suck suck, I feel my soul being sucked out.

Day 741

The past few days have been more of the same. The air gets so stale when the vents go out. The stench of other people is just overwhelming. In the dark, I listen for the sounds of others, their cries, their screams…their breathing. Earlier, I walked around this place some more, it looks like there are other areas locked off. I wonder what they were hiding back there? Money? More supplies? A better existence? I am hearing voices, sometimes they seem like they are talking to me, others I just hear them. This existence is…. Well… nothing.

I was reading today about what the world outside may be like now. The book said it would be decades before we could go back topside. Depending on our proximity to the blast, the whole landscape may be scorched, nothing but dust and ash. I was down here just after the one hit Washington. I could hear it, like an ever escalating thunder that shook the earth. There was little to no chance for any survivors from a direct hit…but I remember once reading about a man who survived both atomic blasts in Japan during the second World War…So I guess you never know.

Day 750

More and more of the life support systems are shutting down in other parts of the bunker. People are coming and breaking into other areas and I don’t like it. Why do they think they can come take my space from me? I have now moved to more remote part of the bunker, by the steam pipe distribution trunk venue. I think there are some tunnels that I can get into and maybe find another place. All their talking, their crying, just their faces make me sick.

Day 762

I think I found what I was looking for. It came more by accident than anything else. I found rats, can you believe it! Rats! They too must have found a way to survive the apocalypse. But I followed them back into the tunnels. Getting away from the flickering lights and the ever staler air has been a welcome reprieve. The rats are smart creatures. They know how to survive unlike people. I followed them deep until we actually came to what appeared to be a door, though it was mostly buried in earth. The rats scurried under the crack of the door. I am going to see if I can dig my way into that room.

Day 768

I am making progress, but I found out someone was following me, down into my tunnels. I could hear their breathing thru the shaft. I called out to them but never did they show themselves. They were even cunning enough to hold their breathe just when I would when I was trying to pinpoint just where they were. I sat there motionless for what had to be hours. Finally I decided they must have gone back as I could no longer hear anything.

I have made progress with my door though. Over half of it is uncovered, but it is a very sturdy door. Old maybe. Looks like engravings on the door as well. I don’t care. I am going to find a way in there.

Day 777

I am in. My stalker kept following me, so I laid some traps in their path that should teach them. I am not going back. I even barricaded this door back so no one can get in. As I explored some, I found some old furniture, metal chairs and such and a table.. and a viewing window which actually shows into another room, which somehow is illuminated. It took me a while to figure out but in the other room, is a woman, sitting in a chair, long since dead but she is clutching something in her hand at her chest. What could that be? What was she holding out for? And how long ago was this? The body is somewhat decomposed, and the dress is not like any I had ever seen someone wear. What is she holding on to so tightly? How can I get in there? I have a bit of supplies so I am going to eat a bite and figure this out.

Day 779

What Is she holding on to? What is it? I have to have it before someone else comes down here and finds me and takes this from me. This is mine. I think if I go thru those air ducts I may be able to get in there. Then I can just come back out. I’ll have my own secret, my own precious item.

Day 780

Today I go in… that will be mine. I will write more once I have it in my hands. Whatever is in her hands will be mine and I will finally be whole. This miserable world will no longer hold me down. I can be alive again!

Back in the bunker people had become concerned for the loner that kept to himself. Everyone knew they only had one another and together they were stronger, but he was a bit eccentric so they kept their distance from him. He would shout out non-sense and many felt that he inspected their persons when they were all sleeping. Bunker living was definitely not easy, but at least they were all alive. The bombs had not killed them and the Overseer of the bunker had said once the outside radiation levels dropped they could re-surface, though, it could be years.

Some of the few children that lived in the bunker had followed the man one day. They could hear him talking to himself and cursing at someone for following him so they went back to their parents. But now the parents were on a search and rescue for the man. Eccentric as he was, he is the one man who was a mechanic and could teach the trade to others to help them better survive mechanical obstacles that may come their way.

The parents found the same door as the man, along with some broken shards of glass along the way. They found the door barred but with some brute force they forced their way in. There was a stench of decay that hit them as they opened the door but what they found was even worse. They could see Warren, the eccentric mechanic, through the viewing window, on the floor. He looked like he had fallen out of AC vent. A corpse was in the room, whether it was a man or a woman could not be decided, as the body had long since become genderless. The clothes were ratty and one arm was torn from its socket, and it lay on the floor beside Warren. In his hand was a heart shaped locket, and it was opened..empty. But his lifeless eyes were not focused on the locket, but rather it seemed on a note, that lay by the corpse's feet. Much of the note was torn and tattered, but thru the window, the parents could read the words…”empty just like your heart..”