The Empty Glass

I awoke with a pounding in my head. My eyes were still closed from my nights slumber. Not daring to open them just yet until my mind rebooted at least to awareness. Bang, bang, bang went the agnosies blow. All was unclear at first if is was internal or outside my bedroom walls. These days I wasn't sure where the disturbance lay until my mind as well as my sore body went through the process of reviving from the night before. Bang, bang, bang. Amping up every bang becoming louder as it continued.

Taking a deep breathe in, I slowly lifted my left eye to scope the room for any brightness from the window. From the observation it seemed that I have closed the black out curtains fully and no light was peaking through. It was save for my right eye to join the world.

As I looked around, all that was barely visible was being shown from the light seeping under the small space of the bedroom door. It was the only indication that the night had completely gone and the day was at work. The only thing it didn't informed, was how much was left until the evening welcomes back the moon and stars.

Bang, Bang, BANG!!!

This time it was like thunder had struck the front of my house. It has now become alarming and clear that this wasn't coming from my head as it did many times before. The atmosphere was making me feel nauseas and uneasy, not wanting to know what was trying to get my attention from the outside.

I didn't have a choice to stay in my sanctuary and warmth of my bed. The comforting blanket that rapped my body now was being thrown to the side of me. I sat up quickly which wasn't a good idea for it took me to a vertigo rush. Time was now ticking farther away from the seemingly inpatient objective at the front door.

My eyes closed once more but for a different reason then sleep. Trying to stop the merry go round daze I put myself in. I lowered my head into the palm of my hands. This is too much I thought. BANG!! BANG!! BANG!!

Now the fear went away and replaced with anger. I lifted up my head from my hands. The dizziness was slowly bringing back the stilled room. With no more time to waste on my recovery, I gripped the bed sheet on both sides of my body to help stabilize myself. With caution, I eased off the bed. Walking at first with a shuffle until my legs had a better support to carry me to a quicker rhythm pace.

I arrived at the bedroom door and gripped the handle. I turned my head towards my right shoulder to avoid the beam of light that will enter the room as I open the door.

Just as I have expected the day wasn't going to show mercy for the sun surrounded the house like blazing fire. Even with my head to the side, it didn't take away the painful throb in my eyes. I quickly lifted my right hand onto my forehead to imitate a canopy. Shading away the acting flame as much as I could, leaving only an opening for me to see the floor.

I swayed through to small hall making way to the front door that stood directly before me. The pace of my footsteps was off beat as I tried to maintain my balance. My eyes were barely open but enough to only see the floor. Anxiety tickled my nerves as I got closer to the front entrance. Who is behind it, what was behind it, what will it bring, my mind swarmed with these questions.

BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!!

A jolt of sudden panic made my hand leave my face. Forgetting the pain my eyes was experiencing, I looked up as the entrance was just a foot away from me. The thunderous strike on the door filled my ears with a ringing ego.

I stood there blank minded and numb of any emotion after seconds had gone. Not caring what was waiting outside for me to show my presence. Reaching to unlocked the bolt located a few inches above the door knob, I was now ready to face the stranger. I opened the door slowly.

From outside my house stood a familiar figure. A six foot man dressed up into a semi formal attire of black dress pants, white dress shirt, and what appeared to be a two sizes too big jacket. His hair was a mocha brown with a shade darker in the roots. It had a fresh swept back undercut and styled with enough product to pull back the long top of the hair. The man at my door was my modeling agent, Marcus.

"Ah so you are alive, well good." Marcus said with humor. "Rough night again with the tippy cup." (What he calls any alcohol bottle.)

I was about to tell him off but Marcus continued, "Before I hear your beautiful voice of insults and perfect vocabulary that may exist in the dictionary, I need to inform you of todays evening plans."

Shaking my head with disbelief and frustration, I ask, "May we discuss this inside? I don't have the patients to listen to you in this painful sunlight."

"Will there be lunch? Maybe a bite to eat of some sort?" Marcus teased.

"Yea, get in the kitchen and start cooking." I angerly relied.

I locked the door back up after Marcus past me to come in. He stopped to look around the hallway that was decorated with art of expensive taste. All of them created by artist from France, Greece, Italy, Mexico, and parts of United States. Even though the paintings where ideally for housing that equaled the worth of marvelous pieces, I placed them in the hallways that no longer owned by my parents.

"Well I see the paintings made it with no disvalue of scrapes and chips. They bring the walls a pop of class with the modern wall paper." He said with sarcasm.

"Would you please quit with the mocking of my situation! This is why I didn't give you the address of this place. How did you get it anyway?" You can hear my temper rising in my voice.

"Rose was worried about you and thought I should drop in with the news of this evenings event. Besides, you have had your phone off for the past few weeks that you wouldn't be able to get it either way." Marcus answered.

"Why didn't she come instead if she is so worried? You live out farther then she does from this house." I replied.

"Darren," He said my name with confidence. "Rose would of came over, sat with you for hours to talk of feelings and whatever. Putting the evening plans to be cancelled for you to be another foot in the hole. I am not going to let life come and rob what you have left."

Without another word, I started for the kitchen that was a few feet away from where we stood. Looking up at the kitchen island, I saw what was the seen of last nights episode. Sure enough, a bottle of bourbon sat there with what seemed to only have a shot worth left inside it. Looking back in yesterdays memory, the bottle was full and I was barely opening it. An empty wine glass was beside it tipped over but there was no spill of bourbon around it. I must of tipped it over after I drank the last drop from the glass.

Marcus walked into the kitchen before I had even the thought of continuing that direction. He approached the island and picked up the wine glass to examine it. The glass had smudges of lip stick around the lip.

"What is bourbon to be served in no other than a glass made for wine. How very elegant of you." He proclaimed.

"If you keep this up, I'll throw you out of my house and you can forget me even considering what you have in store for me later on." I protested.

"Alright, I'll dial back my opinions for the sack of the evening. It is too important for throw away for both of our well being. I'll serve you a refreshment of water to bring some life in you." Marcus said as he put the wine glass not on the island but the counter top by the sink.

"You know I don't mean to be so cruel, I have distant myself as long as I could to let you have your time of sorrow. I don't do well with loss and comfort to even my closes of friends. Would it be too late to offer my condolences?" He said with a serious tone.

"Knowing you for eight years, I know that is good as I'm going to get of any empathy from you." I answered, " Even that is shocking my brain hearing you say it in serious manner. I maybe the first one you shown anything other than taunting and throwing your opinions like knifes towards everyone."

I began to shuffle my feet towards to bar stool located at the island. Marcus was busy trying to find the cupboard that stored the cups. I sat down, leaning my head low into the palm of my hands. Looking over I viewed the dirty glass Marcus set by the sink.

A flash of last night came back as it shown me pouring the first of the bourbon into the wine glass. It was around seven at night as I last looked at the clock before my drunken journey. I was sitting in the bar stool leaning over the island that was once used by my parents. This is where they had their meals and conversations. I remembered my mother making breakfast as dad rambled about the office he would soon leave to after he ate bacon and eggs.

That memory hit my heart like a needle and I gulped down the full glass to try to ease the pain.

"Well here you go champ." Marcus said, putting a cup of water in front of me.

It jumped me out of memory line and back into reality. I felt the dehydration through my body as I looked at the water swimming in the plastic cup. In an instant, I threw back my head as I brought the cup to my lips. Some of the water escaped and ran down my chin. Marcus looked uneasy for a moment witnessing my act of desperate need of restoring my health.

"Well, may we continue with today's arrangement?" Marcus impatiently ask. I nodded my head for him to continue.

"Wonderful, this evening at six o'clock sharp we will be dining in the most beautiful restaurant in the city. It is called High In Tower. We have a reservation on the top with an open view of the sky and looking over the city. Only exclusive to those who has a name respected by those made of money. A couple of clients will attend this lovely dinner with the motive of finding their next face to show their new designs for the fall collection. You and five other models will be in the running the chance to grab one of the three offers." Marcus beamed at his words.

I looked at Marcus not knowing what to say about this information he brought before me. I haven't had a modeling gig for over six months and with the passing of my parents two months ago was overwhelming.

"If you miss this chance, it maybe the last, for your own name is fading and newer models will take your place. I barely hear anyone now and days talk of your work or even mention that you even modeled. As well as your name, mine will follow." he said with fear.

My head started spinning with all this pressure on me. I have been working as a model even before Marcus was my agent. Long hours of practice, sleepless nights, discipline, and finding designers that will give a girl work that had little to no experience. It was do to my passion and my mothers dedication that I made it as a model. That brief thought of my mother had sunk me back it to last night.

After the wine glass was emptied, I grabbed the bottle that contained more of the bourbon. I poured until the liquid was almost spilling over the top of the glass. Sadness surrounded me as I sat in the kitchen that memories of my parents lingered. I moved into the house I grew up in and left behind my condo in the city that housed many wealthy people. It was either that or sell the house on the market for another family to fill. I wasn't going to loose many more of what was here.

I looked over at the pictures hanging in the kitchen of a family vacation to Hawaii from five years ago. In the picture shown my mother, father, and I sitting at the beach with swimming suits and cocktails. We were celebrating my birthday and the success of my modeling career. Even though it was my birthday at the time, I paid for the trip and whatever my parents wanted in Hawaii.

My face heated up as my eyes started to water. Without thinking of it, the glass I just poured was now filling my mouth with the liquid pain killer. I put the glass down with anger. It has been two months since their accident on the way back home from a gathering they went to of a family friend. The car was thrown off the road as a semi truck hit them coming from the opposite direction. The driver fell asleep which became the cause of accident.

Two glasses down under thirty minutes. My head started to fill the effects of the alcohol and the room started to dance. I got up from where I was sitting and walked along the hallway of painting of my last residence. A painting of a women in a Victorian dark purple and grey dress, was in a pose looking out a window. The room in the painting was deem with only a table with a tea set and scones were set. I bought the painting for the look of age of time but with my present circumstances, it made my heart feel empty just like the glass in the kitchen.

"Are you really going to day dream and ignore this like it isn't nothing!" Marcus shouted with rage.

Coming back from my minds journey, I looked at Marcus with no expiration.

"No." I finally said.

"No?" he repeated.

"I'm not ignoring this. I will go. I don't know how much I can bring to the table to convince the designers to hire me. I just need to freshen up and will turn on my phone. All I ask is for you to leave me to it and I'll meet you at the High In Tower by five thirty." I answered not knowing if I just wanted to shut him up or the thought of my mothers efforts helping me reach my dream ends.

Marcus smiled to hear my final answer.

"Ok, I'll leave you to it. I have to leave anyway for I have a meeting with my tailor in thirty minutes. I have a suit waiting for me there." He said with excitement.

He took out his phone and dialed. A muffled voice was on the other end and Marcus was walking towards the entryway. Without even a goodbye or see you tonight, he was gone. I was left in the empty house once more.

I glanced around to see the same family picture from last night. The smiling faces starring back and the last of the memory of the night welcomed me back.

The Victorian women in the painting made me feel like a reflection of loneliness. I turned away and headed back to the kitchen. The bourbon was almost gone from the bottle. I reached for the wine glass but as I was, my vision went black.

Cold was the first thing I felt when I came back to consciousness. The kitchen floor was underneath my body as I lay there. I wondered what happen and how long I was on the floor. My hip ached as it was clear that it hit the floor first. I moved to a stable pose to help pick up myself.

Inch by inch I got up as carefully as I could. Grabbing near objects to support me up as I decided to relocate to the bedroom. Before leaving the kitchen I looked once more at the picture that was a lovely family moment. The faces of my parents looked back at me with love and comfort.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, "I'll take better care of the house and myself. I love you both! We will see each other some day and we'll vacation to Hawaii. Until then I will continue what I worked so hard for. Goodnight and your baby girl will make the best of what she has left."

Tears flooded my eyes and they ran down my face. It was the first time I let myself cry since the funeral. I wiped as much as I could of the tears. Heading down the hallway towards the bedroom, I slowly shuffled my feet like many nights before since I moved into the house.

I entered the bedroom, the bed looked so comforting. I sat on the edge of it before grabbing the blanket to pull over my aching body. Fully laying on the bed, covered in the blanket that was once my parents. It felt like a warm loving hug. With that I dose off to sleep.