The Decision

Between the gentle clinks of dishes being stacked, the rising steam of coffee being poured, and the low hum of water rolling down the steel roof of the diner sat a young girl with her elbows up on the table and her head in her hands. She had a soft focus on the cars pulling in and out of the car park, slowly peeking out into the cool showers of April. Her trance was interrupted when a stout woman with short dark hair framed around her tired eyes placed a roll of silverware on the table beside her. She was wearing a small white apron tied up under her sizable chest that held a small name tag that said “Sara” in faded permanent marker.

“Just you tonight, dear?”

“Uh, no, actually, I’m waiting for someone.”

She pulled another roll of silverware out of her apron pocket, “Something to drink while you wait?”

“Hot tea, please. Earl Grey if you have it.” She turned her attention back to the window where the last light of day crawled over the horizon in peach and strawberry beams cutting through the clouds before finally fading away for the night. A little round teapot was placed next to her empty mug with an envelope of tea just as the bell of the diner door jingled. She watched as lanky man ducked his head under the small door frame while he shook droplets of rain off his half-closed umbrella. He was wearing an oversized hoodie that said “NAU” on the front with a slim fitted pair of jeans that rose just above the ankle. He pulled his hood down as he took a seat in the booth.

“Sorry, I’m a bit late.”

“It’s alright,” she said looking at her tea.

“Something to drink for you, dear?”

“I’ll just have whatever she’s having… so, how are you?”

“I’m alright, you?”

“I’m pretty good, why just alright?”

“Well, I’ve been kind of dreading this.”

“Why?”

“It’s just an awkward conversation.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“Well, we had an agreement before, right?”

“Yeah.”

“But… now we don’t?”

“Things change, you know? I just don’t want to base our whole future on something we said to each other years ago. That’s why we should talk about it now.”

“I know, but, I’m not sure I’ve changed my mind.”

“Would you folks like a couple menus?”

“Please.”

“Can I just get a slice of your chocolate cake please?”

“You bet.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, that’s just a lot of sugar, is that healthy?”

“Oh please, it’s not like it’s a bottle of whiskey. Sweets are pretty much all I can keep down right now anyway.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to upset you, I just want to make sure we are doing the right thing.”

“What do you think the “right thing” is?”

“Well, I suppose whatever makes us happy, right? I just want you to be happy.”

“I want you to be happy too.”

“Well, you know where I stand right now, tell me what you want.”

“I want to finish my degree.”

“You can still do that!”

“But it will be harder, and don’t you want to finish too?”

“Yeah, of course, but we can make it work.”

“How?”

“It’s something we’d figure out together.”

“Here’s that menu, I’ll be back in a minute with your cake.”

“Thank you.”

“What about work?”

“What about work?”

“I’d have to take a bunch of time off. I wouldn’t have an income for a while.”

“Well, I can just pick up more hours before then, save up.”

“If you’re working more, won’t you fall behind in your classes?”

“Not necessarily. I can go part-time for a while too. Just till we get settled.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not.”

“I don’t want you to have to do that.”

“But I want to do that.”

“Wh– what if we don’t make it?”

“Why wouldn’t we make it?”

“Stress?”

“When have we not been stressed? Sure, it will probably be really stressful the first couple of years while we finish school, but after that we will have a routine, we’ll get it figured out.”

“How do you know?”

“I guess I don’t know.”

“See?”

“But you don’t know it won’t work out either. Do you? Do you think we can’t make it?”

“Are you ready?”

“Oh, uh, do you want to share a basket of fries or something?... yeah, so I’ll just take a burger, no cheese but everything else is good, and then a basket of fries to share.”

“Onions, okay?”

“Yeah, everything, thanks.”

“Okay honey, it’ll be right out.”

“So do you?”

“I guess not.”

“So, what’s stopping you?”

“Doesn’t it all feel too soon for you?”

“Sure, sooner than maybe what I would have planned, but it happens that way more often than not right? There is never really a good time from what I hear.”

“It just feels so fast, I’m not sure I am ready for so many changes at once.”

“I don’t want to convince you to do something you don’t want to do.”

“I don’t want to do something you won’t forgive me for.”

“Oh that won’t happen, I’m with you no matter what.”

“Even if I want to just… end it?”

“I mean, yeah, of course. I’d be disappointed but I’d understand if that’s what you really want. How long have you been thinking about that option?”

“Not long. I go back and forth.”

“Well if you need more time, that’s okay. We don’t have to decide today.”

“I’d rather make a decision today, with you here.”

“If that’s what you want…tell me what you’ve been thinking about.”

“I guess I’m mostly just scared.”

“I’m scared too.”

“You are?”

“I think it would be more surprising if I wasn’t. Ketchup?”

“That’s fair. It kind of helps to know that. I just think a lot about where we are going to live, how we are going to afford it, and if we will have the help we need.”

“Sounds like what everyone in this situation worries about. I’ve thought about all that too. I know it will be really hard, but I know you and I know us. I know we can do it, and I honestly can’t think of anyone I’d rather do this with than you.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“I don’t know, I just know when I think about doing it with you, I’m less scared.”

“How is everything over here?”

“Umm, I think we are doing well, thanks.”

“Anything else I can get’ya?”

“Let’s have another slice of that chocolate cake, then I think that’s all.”

“You got it, be right out with that and your check.”

“I guess I am more willing to work at it if you are.”

“I’m more than willing to put in whatever it takes.”

“I’m just…”

“What is it?”

“I’m afraid that I’ll be alone… if it gets too hard for you.”

“Oh… I understand… I guess that happens a lot huh?”

“Yeah. It’s not that I think you’re that way, but I’m scared.”

“It’s okay, I know, it’s always easier for the guy. I don’t want to make you worry about that. Listen, I know we said we weren’t going to tell anyone until we made a decision, but I talked to my mom about it.”

“What did she say?”

“Obviously she asked if I thought we were ready. But she also said she supports us in whatever we decide to do and that she would be happy to help with us and talk to your parents too. I told her we both fully intend to finish school and find work just as we did before. She’s retiring in October, so that would be a good time for us too.”

“Oh, wow. I think you may have given this way more thought than I have.”

“I want you to move in with me too. We can get out of our small apartments and get a two bedroom together. At least for now.”

“You really want this?”

“Yeah, I really do. I want this with you.”

“You’re sounding more and more like a Lifetime movie.”

“So be it! I will stand of in this diner and TELL EVERYONE!”

“Oh, God please stop.”

“So, what do you say?”

“I say…this is a damn good chocolate cake.”