The Day the Wall Spoke

If walls could talk, would they?

If walls could talk, when someone needed help not feeling so alone, would they?

If walls could talk, when someone needed help or to not feeling so alone, would they just stand there and balk?

If walls could talk, in your most private our of need, would they talk to you? If walls could talk, what would they say to you?

Nick Petersen looked across the room, remembering so much and wanting to forget everything. The pain was too much for him to bear. Since his beloved wife, Sarah, and angelic daughter, Amber, had been cruelly taken from him, his anxiety, depression, and general despair had reached peak high crisis point.

Would today be the day? It certainly felt that way as he looked at the golden picture frame with a healthier, happier-looking Nick beside Sarah and Amber. "I look at you every day, darling and let you look out to the room every day, but today...I need to turn you away, I don't want you to see me this way...what I've become...you would be disappointed. But, honestly...honestly, I am passed the point of caring. I missed the stop for caring a long time ago. I tried...I really feel like I tried...but trying to live without you and our wonderful Amber...has been a burden. So, I'm going to do something about that, and I don't want you to see...and I don't want to catch even a glimpse of your beautiful face. Forgive me"

He struggled but turned the frame to face the wall. The old unassuming wall now had plaster cracking and flaking away to reveal the brickwork behind it. It had suffered a lot of wear and tear over the years.

This act – that Nick found so difficult - was just turning a picture around, but he felt a painful ache of shame and guilt for doing it. She wasn't in the picture frame but was...in a sense.

The picture was the source of so much comfort, as pictures are of people we miss. It was also, similarly, the source of so much regret, anger, and despair. It was a daily reminder that the two most important people in his life that gave it meaning were gone.

He ran his hands through his long, straggly browny-grey hair and looked in the mirror briefly. "Well, Nick, you certainly look the part".

He got to work because he didn't want to allow himself the opportunity to chicken out and not go through with his plan. There was already a hook securely drilled into the old ceiling that he had tested numerous times to ensure it would hold his weight.

He got the little black stool he and Sarah had picked up from a flea market when they bought the apartment. Fifteen years flashed through his mind like it all had happened just yesterday. But Sarah and Amber were taken three years ago now. "I never thought that this old stool would be the end of me." he thought and then shrugged and placed it directly below the hook in the ceiling.

He had already fashioned the noose. "Thank you, YouTube!" he thought ith a slight smile. Sarah would have loved that joke. She had a silly and often dark sense of humour.

He knew his neighbours in the block were away for a fortnight to their cabin in the woods. He wished he had a cabin in the woods that would be the perfect place to do what he was about to do instead of his dusty old apartment filled with nothing but joyful memories that were much too much to bear now. Because they are just memories now. There is no chance to create new memories. With each passing day, it's another 24-fucking-hours further away from them.

Life definitely felt like it lacked meaning anymore. He had thought of talking to someone but just couldn't. He felt it would be a waste of time for the poor bastard who had to listen to the awful earth-shattering events that rocked his whole world. It felt like way too much of a burden that he didn't want to give to anyone else. They wouldn't convince him that this was not the best solution, anyway. So rather than put some caring and kind volunteer through that, he felt he was doing the only thing he could do.

He painstakingly tied and weaved the top of the noose to secure it around the hook. He tugged on it quite a bit; he was very nervous as he did this. All these weeks of planning, convincing himself were about to come to a head. He was not about to stop what would happen, but touching the rope did give him a pause to reflect.

He saw Sarah and Amber playing on the floor around the stool as if nothing bad was about to happen. They were playing with Amber's dollhouse. Sadly, it was just a memory resurfacing.

It was enough to bring Nick to tears. But as he sobbed and drew a big breath in his nose, drawing all the disgusting mucus back up, he knew there was no better time to end it all.

He wasn't going to leave a note. He didn't see the point. No one would miss him greatly. He imagined that his neighbours would discuss and gossip about it, not unkindly, but they were never really close. It was just him. Now that Sarah and Amber were gone.

He remembered briefly that painful moment when he opened the door (as he looked towards it), and there were two of the sweetest and friendliest police officers he had ever met. It didn't matter how sweet or kind and supportive they were because their words were anything but sweet. They were the most bitter words he could ever imagine.

He got the stool and ensured it was still tough enough to hold his weight. Fortunately, he had lost a lot of weight due to depression, anxiety and the fact that food doesn't taste the same anymore.

He secured the noose around his neck. He could already feel it constricting and tightening around his feeble and bony neck, his breathing becoming laboured. I watched as he kicked the stool away and started to hang down. In all of my existence, I had never seen anyone hang themselves before. It was much more torturous to watch than I realised. Even for something with such a strong constitution that has lived many centuries, and even if I knew I would intervene.

-The Grand Entrance-

That reminds me, this is where I step in. I’ll be right with you, readers. There’s something I need to do.

As Nick's body shook and his breathing became more and more laboured, he saw some strange things before his eyes closed. Perhaps this is what people see when they are about to die; he managed to think as the back wall began to shake and parts crumbled off. As the lights went out as his eyelids closed, he swore he saw the appearance of a face and a mouth in the wall, a grotesque thing, though a bit similar to the rock-biter thing in Neverending Story. They used to love watching that, him and Sarah and then him, Sarah and Amber. The dog was their favourite character, though, Falcor. So gentle, so wise, and a bit like Aslan.

The last slight image he saw was my bricklike arm or appendage extending out from the wall, cutting the noose. The next few minutes were a blur. He remembers falling. Though he thought he was falling into the afterlife. In reality, he was falling unceremoniously onto the floor with a rather big thud.

"Ouch, that's gotta hurt"

"Anyone reading this knows I just saved a man...even if it looked like I just let him drop and smack himself on the floor. I know there will be nitpickers reading this, suggesting that if I had the power to stretch out my arms and cut his noose, I could have blanketed his fall. But, would you rather I spent another five minutes trying to work out a safe way for him to land or rescue him?" "Your silence speaks volumes...anyway...he's going to wake up soon, and I'm not quite ready for the big introduction".

-Introducing...-

The radio clicks on, and there is the familiar fingering of a D and then a G chord. Fingering through a classic ballad from the 90s by R.E.M.

"What happened...who...wait, who the hell put Everybody Hurts on?"

“Ah, good, you’re awake. Wait…what is the problem with Everybody Hurts?”

“Who said that? The point is that Everybody Hurts is a boring song”

“Take that back, asshole”

“Don’t threaten me, I was just about to kill myself – I am not the kinda guy you wanna push the wrong buttons with”

“Calm yourself, Nick. It’s me.“

As Nick opened his eyes, a little weary with Michael Stipe still singing with so much more emotion than Nick had ever given him credit, “Who…Are you?” he said, wiping his eyes and looking towards the wall. The wall that now had a massive cracked section, even through to the brick; he blinked a half dozen times as the bricks started to reorder themselves as if they were part of one of those sliding puzzles.

“That’s…impos….” Nick tried to muster up enough energy to proclaim that the sight of my very grotesque but happy face had just appeared in the rearranged brickwork before collapsing again.

“Shit. Dammit it, Wolfgang, the Overshadowers will have a field day with this one at their next summit. Nick…Nick…Nick”

I tried to poke Nick with one of my appendages.

“You need to wake up.”

Nick clearly was in no humour, but still hadn’t really sussed out that this was all real, that I was real.

“Nick…we need to talk about some things”.

“You’re my wall..and…you…you can talk?”

“Pyornkrachzark’s my name; standing firm and tall’s my game. Nice to finally meet you!”

Nick’s head tipped backwards almost as quickly as it came up. He fainted, and then I had to wait another ten minutes before he came to with a shriek.

-Rude Awakening-

“Shit. Before you start bashing me on Amazon, Google or wherever you leave your comments and reviews…I am fairly new to Wall-and-Human-Interaction or WAHI for short.”

“I know…it’s not especially catchy, but unlike UNCLE, SHIELD, or UNIT, we didn’t come up with it to win a cool acronym prize” “It is what it is”

“So you’re still talking? Am I dead? Did it work?”

“Ah, Nick, mien lad, you’re still with us! Wunderbar!”

Nick couldn’t say anything else, scratching his head and blinking more than a normal person should.

“Here are the cliff notes – yes, I’m talking, my name is Wolfgang from an ancient order of Walls known as the Overshadowers, and, no, you are not dead, neither did your exquisite ropework succeed. I am sorry, but I had to stop you!”

“I must be insane then. Good, that will make killing myself even easier.”

“That’s really not how that works, Nick.”

Nick started pacing in front of me, swearing…a lot, pacing, and getting increasingly wound up as the song reached the “Don’t throw your hand.” Refrain. I always get chills when the strings come in. Underrated work by JPJ. Anyway.

“Nick...I need you to calm down, so I can explain”

“What’s to explain? You’re a Pyrovile? No, wait, that’s the wrong thing…you’re a rock-biter? From that film?” I notice his voice taper off a little as thinks about the film. “I’m not insane, but my wall stopped me from killing myself and is talking to me while playing REM on the radio. How am I doing so far?”

“Remarkably well for someone so ‘lost’”

“I’m depressed, not stupid”

“I never said you were. I know you aren’t. I’ve been here a long time, Nick. Long before you were here. I’ve been here in this form since this apartment block was built. Of all the humans I have encountered, you are my favourites, second only to Amber and Sarah, with all due respect.”

“Don’t say those names…don’t fucking dare”

Nick walks over to me and clenches his fist to press it into my brickwork.

“Calm down, friend. I meant no harm or offence. I miss them too”

“How…what…just don’t go there.”

-An Explanation-

“I’m sorry, Nick, as that’s the root cause of what you were about to do to yourself; there’s nothing else I want to talk about more…than that”

“Well, you will be waiting a long time, Wally.”

“I already have been, asshole.”

“What could you possibly say to me that would change my mind anyway? I don’t think there is anyone that could change my mind. Why should I change my mind anyway? Life is nothing without them, and it’s my life that I have the right to decide to do with it what I wanted to do.”

“You make some good points there. I am not here to deny your grief or your earth-shattering despair. That pain you feel when the light hits the room, and you realise another day has started without them. If I can’t convince you that there is something better than what you are going to do…then I’ll stand aside…relatively speaking, of course”

“I know…because I’ve been watching you for a long time, Nick. Not long after the accident was when I gained my sentience.”

“Like..a stalker in that Sting song?”

“Not quite...more like…erm…Time Lords… but without the meddling that the Doctor gets up to…well…less so”

“I was going to say – there seems to be a lot of meddling going on. Can I make a formal complaint? Who is your supervisor?”

“She is quite scary, Hart Frau. I will not wake her up just because you want to complain about me playing Everybody Hurts.”

“That’s not all I want to complain about…wait a minute, you said your name was Pyornkrachzark and reintroduced yourself as Wolfgang…which is it? Do you have a serious head injury?”

“I said Pyornkrachzark because I thought it might put you at ease, seeing as The Neverending Story was a film you watched with..them”.

“I told you not to say their names, you bastard”, growled Nick launching his fist at the stone-like face, making absolutely no damage, but bruising and cutting his knuckles.

“It may not cause me damage, Nick, but it hurts me when you hit me – Did it make you feel better?” I asked with my calm and stoic Germanic tones coming through much clearer. It had been a while since I last spoke to anyone other than myself.

“No…but I could just punch you until I bleed to death” Nick put his head in his hands and whimpered a little, defeated, knowing he would have to have more strength to take such drastic measures.

“You could…but bleeders are such a pain to clear up. Not for me – the poor soul who will come into your apartment and find you dead.” I reasoned.

“Fine…what do I need to do to make you go away and leave me alone?” With his head in his hands again, combing his fingers gently through his messy, silver-tipped, dark brown mane.

I let his question hang in the air for a moment and allowed him to catch a breath and really come to terms with what had happened. Sure, I was on a tight schedule, but the man's world had just fallen apart and now we was talking to a magic wall.

-Message From the Past-

“Well…that depends, really. I could just ask you not to kill yourself and explain how there is always a different path you could take…but I wanted to savour this time together that we have. I’ve waited a long time to speak to you. I wish I could have spoken to you sooner; been more active when Sa…they were still here. You always were such a lovely couple and family.”

“Are you just going to stick the dagger deeper through my heart, or will you get to the point?” Nick interrupted me.

“Sorry, I was just remembering the happiness in this home. I share your sadness. I know it will take time. Believe me, I am not just saying as so many people tend to when they think it’s the right thing to say – I know because I have lived for thousands of years. So, trust me, I share the sadness.”

“Okay…whatever. But, what do you want?” he replied scornfully. “cut to the chase, please. I’m on a tight schedule here”

“Well…you’ve seen films like this before, haven’t you? You read stories like this…what do you think I want to do?”

“Talk me down from the ledge? That’s a bit cliched, isn’t it?”

“If something is cliched, in this situation, does it mean it is any less important or worthwhile?”

“Save me the speech, Rocky Bal-boring…I am losing the little patience I had”

“Maybe it will help if I showed you something. I am not going to give you a speech, I am not going to do any talking. I just need to prepare myself…this is not something I do every day.”

The room went black as things shifted in and out of reality. I could see Nick’s jaw almost drop to the floor as I started to roar - the transformation was never an easy experience and was always extremely painful. The bricks that made up my beautiful body manoeuvred to form a rectangle, with my eyes in the top right and top left-hand corners of what soon flashed with light, and I started to play back footage of a younger Nick, Sarah, and Amber. There is a lot of joy and happiness, laughter and love.

“What the…”

“How are you…”

“I’m a magic wall…remember?”

“Why show me this? As a final goodbye to the most treasured people in my life who are gone, just before I take my own life?”

“No…this is but a taster. This was to show my power. The real excerpt from better times in the past is one you will not be familiar with…”

The makeshift screen started to playback footage of a smiling, happy Sarah thinking aloud, “I know you are capable of so much good, Nick. I know how devoted you are to us, Amber and myself. I know how much you have given up and sacrificed. I just want you to know. I appreciate it, but I often worry that if we were not in your life…what would become of you. I would never say this to you in person, that’s why I’m sitting here while you are doing dinner – those beautiful honey roasted pork chops with sauteed potatoes and that delicious oniony gravy – hoping you don’t ever let yourself get taken under by the world and its many miseries and woes.”

“Is this real, or is this some kind of trick?” Nick blinked, running his fingers over the screen that replaced the masculine and chiselled shape of my face, along Sarah’s cheeks and over her lips.

“I think you know the answer. I always thought she was a wise woman, even when I thought you two would live and grow old together. You need to do what is best for you, but the one person that knew you better than anyone else is sending you a message across space, time, death and life to find a purpose”

“But...she’s wrong. She was the driving force…the thing that made me want to do things...”

“You’re wrong, and she knew it too! You knew Sarah better than anyone…I saw you…saw you both from the moment you moved into this apartment…saw how your relationship blossomed. A tale of romance…it was not that simple.”

“But…I don’t think I’m strong enough”

“She thought differently.”

I feel my body shaking as my bricks slowly shift back into their original positions. Dammit, my time is running out. I force myself to fight against my inevitable transformation to a simple stoic, unmovable wall again.

“Nick…you need to listen to me…I don’t have much more time…The Overshadowers have deemed my work here done…the rest is up to you. I have faith in you”

I squeeze out those last few words as my face becomes a normal, bog-standard brick again.

“Wait…don’t…leave me!” Nick cried. Those words crushed me deep within the core of my being.

As I disappeared into the stoic sentinel I was once more, I watched Nick look dejected and slumped on the floor. He fell asleep. It was difficult watching but being unable to help. I just hoped I had done enough.

-Prologue - New Beginnings-

A few weeks later, the door opened, and Nick came in with a young boy who must have been about 14 years old. "Sebastian, welcome to your new home. I know what it's like to lose everything, but maybe we can help each other. I want us to try"

The boy just gave a soft but nervous smile. I stood there, as the bold Overshadower I was, watching my favourite human forge ahead, knowing it could have ended differently.

*Thank you for reading!

Important Note:

Please know that you are not alone if you have suicidal thoughts. In the UK, you can call Samaritans on 116 123, visit their website at https://www.samaritans.org/scotland/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

You can also Text 'SHOUT' to 85258

If you live in the United States, you can call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling 988. The organisation's old number, 1-800-273-8255, is still live too.

You can visit the organisation's website at https://wwww.988lifeline.org.

For a more detailed list of available resources, please take a look at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

*

Author's Note: So, a little background on this story. I originally planned to submit this to the If Walls Could Talk Challenge in February, but was just not feeling up to it and kept putting it off.

For more information on this challenge, you can find it here:

I even mentioned it in my interview with Heather Hubler. You can check it out here:

I have long thought about finishing it, but again, kept putting it off until now. I hope it was worth the festering it had in my mind.

References:

REM - Everybody Hurts

The Neverending Story - A character from the film The Neverending Story, Pyornkrachzark, is a member of the rock chewers and lives on a diet of only rocks. One bite is enough to get most rock chewers to the end of a month. The film was a reference point for the character, which is why he refers to himself by that name.

Another curious Easter Egg/reference is the fact that Nick's surname is "Petersen " and the wall refers to himself as "Wolfgang". Wolfgang Petersen was the late great film director behind The Neverending Story (and classic Das Boot).

Pyrovile - The Pyroviles were a species of rock-based humanoids from the planet Pyrovillia featured in the BBC sci-fi time-travel show Doctor Who. https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Pyrovile.

UNIT - refers to the secret military organisation operated by the UK government in Doctor Who. UNified Intelligence Taskforce.

Timelords - The race that the main character in Doctor Who belongs to, who perfected time travel, but who swore not to meddle and interfere and merely observe. Until the Doctor came along.

That Sting Song - Every Breath You Take by The Police