
There weren`t always dragons in the valley, in fact there really didn’t used to be much in this valley at all except deer, elk and some occasional bears. Something had changed here however, it was as though the very fabric of reality had been torn apart and two worlds were merging into one. The sun is beginning to set, and the temperature is plummeting. It is almost like any other fall night in the small town of Stanley, Idaho. The only difference this time is that as the sun sets my mind turns to the idea that I might not survive the night, and it`s not because of the cold. My name is Matthew and until four months ago I was your average guy, I was five feet eight inches tall, twenty-three years old with sandy blond hair. I only weighed a hundred sixty pounds at the time, and I was in love. I had everything I wanted, but then it changed when I learned that the fairytales that we had all heard growing up were a lie. Vampires don`t sparkle and a kiss of true love doesn`t fix everything. The only thing that true love does is cause you more pain than you ever thought possible. Your mind becomes twisted, your emotions distraught, left willing to do almost anything, even turn to embrace the darkest corners of your mind to save those you love.
It began with the only girl I had ever truly loved, Sarah Wilckson. She was everything that I had ever wanted. A short, slender straight A student with radiant auburn hair and the most soul piercing emerald green eyes I had ever seen. Eyes that somehow told you, even at twenty-one, she knew what she wanted in life. Though it wasn’t love at first sight I still knew quickly that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. I had set up the greatest proposal ever conceived, it was all planned out perfectly I would pick her up at her house in Stanley at seven o` clock at night and we would drive to the train depot, where we would board the train at seven forty five. We would then ride the train through the scenic woodlands of Idaho, there was a spot that was perfect for the proposal, it was right as you round the corner and come into view of the Salmon River with the sun setting behind the mountains. It was at this point that I would get down on one knee and ask her the question that had been burning a hole in my tongue for a couple of weeks now. Try as hard as I might I couldn’t think of a better way to spend a June evening, I was so excited, if she said yes I would have everything I ever wanted. As excited as I was for her to say yes I was also extremely nervous because this was the biggest evening of my life, it was the moment that would define the rest of my life.
It all began that day when I finished packing and getting everything ready about an hour before I was even supposed to pick her up, I was so nervous that I had to find some way to occupy my time. I decided to take a little walk around my back yard, maybe get some of the yard work done that I had been neglecting.
I couldn`t believe the chill that I felt in the air as I stepped outside, it was June for Pete’s sake, I mean I know Idaho isn`t the warmest place on the planet especially not in June, but it should have been at least seventy degrees, it however felt more like forty. I was a little concerned about the weather, not because it was cold, but more because the sky was beginning to fill up with clouds that were as black as dreamless sleep, they appeared to be large pieces of charcoal floating in the sky above me brightened only occasionally by a flash of lighting here or there that would quickly crack across the clouds and then disappear just as suddenly.
I hoped against everything that an unwanted storm would not ruin my proposal to Sarah, I mean I would ask her to marry me either way but I would rather the day not be remembered by a cold pelting rain or the tremendous crack of lightning. I stood there on my back porch admiring my yard and just letting the feeling of peace wash over me, it was a peace that was always brought about by the mountains and the fresh air. My deck was a solid wood deck made out of pine wood coated and sealed with a red lacquer finish, there was a small railing that ran all the way around my porch standing about two or three feet tall giving it an almost enclosed look, aside from the one opening with the two steps that led the rest of the way to the ground. I heard a call come from over the fence as I stood there on my back porch staring out at the beautiful Sawtooth Mountains.
“Hey, Matthew.” I turned to see my neighbor and best friend Alex standing at the fence line with his huskie, Paws. Alex wasn`t a large guy by any sense of the word, he was only five feet seven inches tall, he weighed in at one hundred fifty pounds, his hair was jet black, he was also only twenty-three years old and he worked as the towns handy man. Alex was an exceptional hunter beyond anybody that I had ever seen before; then again he had had a lot of time to practice. About two years ago Alex had lost his wife to a battle with cancer, he now dedicated all the time he wasn`t working to either reading, going hunting, camping or fishing with his dog Paws. The death of his wife was really hard on him because of how young they were, when they had gotten married Alex was only eighteen. He had barley been married three years when he had to watch his poor young wife pass away from such a painful illness, the hardest part for him though was the fact that she had been the love of his life. There are a lot of people over the years that have told him that he should remarry or that he was too young to have known what true love really was, Alex never yelled at or got angry with those who chose to speak their minds on the issue, instead he told them the same thing that he had always said. “True love is not measured by time or by age, it is measured by the lengths that you would go to for each other.”
“Hey Alex, how are things going?” I called back.
“Good, other than the fact that it feels like winter still hasn`t left.”
“I know what you mean; I guess that old groundhog meant six more months of winter not just six weeks.” I laughed
He gave a little chuckle and then said “Yeah I guess so. Do you have any big plans for tonight? You look rather dressed up to be just sitting around on your back patio sipping lemonade.”
“Yeah, I`m going to ask Sarah to marry me tonight.”
“Wow, Well I do have to admit that plans don’t really get much bigger than that.” He chuckled. “I hope she says yes.”
“Well that is the goal.” I said with a little smirk “Say Alex….. Have you ever seen weather like this before?”
“Yeah, of course it`s Idaho.” He said almost sarcastically “Why do you ask?”
“It just seems weird to me, you know as if something is… well… off.”
“I wouldn`t worry about it, the weather is just a little crazy here.”
“Yeah I guess.” I responded. “So what about you Alex you got anything special going on tonight?”
“Well I don’t know that I would really consider it special, I am just going over to Mrs. Genes place to fix a leak in her roof, and then I might go for a stroll in the woods with paws.”
“You are going to try and fix a leak with the possibility of a major storm?”
“Yeah, it`s just a small leak so it shouldn’t take more than a ten or fifteen minutes to fix, plus I really don’t want her to have it rain on her tonight and leak into her attic causing even more damage.”
“Yeah I guess that`s true, I hadn’t really thought about what would happen if you didn’t fix it tonight. Well I hope it goes well for you and you don`t have too many problems.”
“Thanks, I hope your evening goes well, after all you have the more pressing issue at hand.” He jibbed.
“Thanks for reminding me.” I said rolling my eyes. Alex let out a little chuckle at that, having been through it himself he knew exactly what I was faced with.
“So are you nervous at all?” he asked.
“Let’s put it this way you remember that dream that everyone eventually has where they are standing in school in their underwear?”
“Yeah?”
“I wish I was there right now.”
“I would say that you are more than a little nervous then.” He said with a chuckle.
“Just a little.” I laughed. “Speaking of my evening I need to get going because the last thing that I really want to do is to be late tonight.”
“I would have to say that I agree with you because that really is probably the worst way to start a proposal. So Good luck, I hope it goes well.”
“Thanks, I will talk to you later.”
Walking away from Alex I couldn`t shake the feeling that I might never see him again, no matter what I seemed to do I could not shake this sense of foreboding. The only thing that I could think of was that I must just be reading too much into everything tonight, since my nerves were about as frayed as they could ever be. I couldn’t help but chuckle a little because this was supposed to be one of the greatest moments of my life, but maybe that is just for her. The guy struggles on bended knee sweating bullets and just wanting to die because he is so nervous, and all the girl has to do is say yes or no. Still if she says yes you will experience a euphoria unlike anything else. There was the other chance though of her saying no in which case you would probably wish you were dead, but high risk high reward is what they say.
I knew that I had no reason to be nervous, but it didn’t change the fact that I was; Sarah was the love of my life, and if you had ever talked to her she would have painted this picture for you that made me look much better than I am. She would go on and on about all of my good characteristics while leaving out the bad, and when I would insist that there was more bad than good she would shush me and tell me that I had no idea what I was talking about. I walked back into the house through the back door grabbing my keys off the granite counter top as I went. My house wasn’t super large, in fact it only took me about ten steps to reach the front door. I walked out my front door turning around to lock the deadbolt as I left, it was a habit that I had never really gotten out of even while living in such a small town.
I turned and looked at my house one last time, it wasn’t impressive by any means, it also wasn’t the typical kind of house that someone would just fall in love with and never want to leave. But for nothing else it was my house, it was white in color with two four paned windows in the front, it had a green front door with a gold colored dead bolt and handle, and it stood wider than it was tall. I walked out of my gate with its protesting hinges onto the smooth concrete driveway that I had paved myself just a few years ago. I pulled my car keys out of my pocket and climbed inside, I always enjoyed the drive to Sarah`s especially since it was where the most picturesque view of the jagged rocky peaks of the Sawtooth mountains could be found.
The perfect view is as you head east through Stanley towards the turn off for either Sun Valley, or Challis. There is a point just five minutes outside of the town where there is a large meadow that leads up to the base of the mountains. The meadow at night is little more than a dark empty space spanning the distance from the road to the mountain, but in the daytime it becomes a place filled with the most vibrant tall green grass that is speckled with wild flowers of all shapes and sizes. The wild flowers dot the meadow as if each one was placed very carefully to create the perfect scenery, mixed between the tall grass and the wildflowers are tall green bushes that branch out in every direction and are dotted with small white flowers that gently flutter in the breeze.
Where the meadow ends the giant jagged rocky peaks of the Sawtooth mountains begin, they rise up from the valley floor quickly turning straight to stone cliffs that even from a distance make someone feel as though they are an insignificant ant in this crazy world. The mountains are unlike anything that I have ever seen, even from a mile away they look insurmountable. They seem to create a world of their own, one that defines the impossible, one where the impossible becomes probable. The valley floor where the small town of Stanley sits however a completely different story, there is a calm laid back attitude that just seems to bring peace to the soul. The valley floor is always alive with the sounds of babbling brooks, or the soft serenade of the crickets at night when they sing you to sleep. It is a world that almost seems unreal; a world in which you would expect to see all manner of fairytale creatures running about. Together the mountains and the valley create a world that is the perfect symbolism of yin and yang. The mountains create a great majesty and wonder in the soul, while the town and valley floor create a sense of security and peace.
Since I wasn’t in a rush to get to Sarah`s place, I pulled off onto the gravely shoulder of the road right in front of the vast meadow that stretched all the way to the base of the mountain.
With evening setting in the night life would start to become more and more active. After no more than a few minutes of sitting on the side of the road, I saw a red fox work its way out of the thick underbrush. He was standing there in the afternoon sunlight warming himself as the fading rays of sunlight pierced his coat, giving off the a gentle red glow like the burning embers of a fire. Before too long I had to get going again so that I wouldn`t be late arriving on one of the biggest days of my life.
I pulled up in front of Sarah`s house right on time, it was a single story house painted with very calming colors. The house is painted a very serene forest green color, with a nice light blue trim. It was almost as though it were the forest reaching up to touch the endless blue sky. Their driveway that I had pulled into was made up of gravel and sat just to the right of the house, and there was a porch with three wooden steps that went straight up to the house, just like with my back deck there was a railing that formed around the rest of the porch making it impossible to get onto the porch by any other means than the steps. The yard was not massive in size, but it was always immaculate. The vibrant green perfectly trimmed grass was framed in by a very white wooden picket fence that stood no more than three feet tall.
Sarah also had a roommate that lived in the house with her, and just like Sarah her roommate was a mystery to me. I never understood why Sarah and her roommate had decided to move to Stanley, considering the fact that there was no college or any schooling up here. There was also the fact that the job market was small since the town’s population always seemed to fluctuate between ninety and a hundred people. I really tried not to put too much thought into it though because I was glad that she had come, without her here I would be so alone. I had given up on the idea of ever finding love in this town. I had begun to think that the only way I was ever going to find love was if I left the town and moved to some bigger city, and leaving wasn`t something that I wanted to do.
I had settled down into this little town with the dream of staying here forever, I wasn`t about to give it all up. There was just no adequate way to explain the way that everyone knows each other, or the way that the mountains frame the little town in. I knew that if I ever left I would miss the sound of the babbling brooks and the soft gentle song of the crickets as they sang me to sleep.
I paused for just a moment, long enough to take a deep breath before opening the car door. I loved the way that sounds seemed to be more crisp and elegant up here. when I stepped out of the car my feet landed on the gravel that made up the driveway leading up to Sarah`s house. The gravel crunched and cracked under my feet as I began to walk while I listened for the sound of the birds, the insects, and of course the whisper of the wind gently rustling the boughs of the pine trees that covered the valley floor. I listened intently for these majestic sounds, but there was nothing. It seemed as if there wasn`t even the sound of the little stream slowly and patiently trickling its way down from the mountains and across the valley floor. It was so quiet that it almost seemed as if there was a deep echo from the surrounding area, a hush, an omen.
I stood there for a moment feeling the hairs on the back of my neck begin to stand on end due to the lack of sound, and then started laughing at myself. Here I was thinking that just because the birds weren`t singing and the crickets weren`t chirping it meant that everything was going to end badly. What did I expect a storm was coming so of course there wouldn`t be birds chirping or crickets singing, they would be hunkering down for the night.
Alex had told me not more than half an hour ago that this weather had happened before, I just hadn`t quite gotten use to the weather here yet, I am from Arizona after all so this cold was something still kind of new to me. I stood there for a moment taking the time to breathe in the fresh mountain air and relax myself so that my voice wouldn’t crack with panic and anticipation when I saw Sarah.
I pushed the thoughts of omens out of my mind and walked towards the front door pushing past the little gate of the white picket fence that squeaked as it opened and into the yard. It didn`t take me long to reach the wooden steps that led onto the front porch, a resounding boom echoed out into the evening as my foot landed on the first step, almost like the sound of a drum beating deep inside a cave.
I raised my fist and knocked on the door, something felt wrong as that first thud of me hitting the door echoed inside the house. The hair on the back of my neck began to stand up as if someone was watching me; I turned around and a sigh escaped from my tightly pursed lips as I realized there was no one standing behind. There was nothing more than the yellow glow of the sun sprawling across the valley illuminating everything but the deep shade of the trees before it.
“Hey Matthew.”
“AHH, what!” I cried out spinning around to face the door. “Oh hey Lindsay.” I said my heart pounding away in my throat. Lindsay was Sarah`s roommate, she stood at five feet five inches tall, she was slender and curvy. She only weighed about one hundred-thirty pounds with long black flowing hair that cascaded down her back in elegant waves. She was very pretty almost like something that you would see in a modeling catalog, the only difference being she didn`t need to be airbrushed.
“Hey Matthew, I`m assuming that you are here for Sarah.”
“Yeah I am, can you get her for me?”
“Sure come in for a second.” She said as she walked away from the door and towards the back of the house.
The inside of their house looked way different than mine, for one you could see their floor. Their house also seemed as though it had more light in it, but as I looked around I realized that it was because unlike me they had chosen colors that refracted the light rather than absorbing it. Their house was filled with light blues and whites, there was also the occasional sprinkle of yellow mixed in with it giving it a very inviting comforting feeling. My house on the other hand was made up of deep greens and browns that almost made you feel as though you were walking into a cave. “I need to repaint.” I thought to myself.
“Hey Matthew.” Sarah said as she walked out of the back room.
“Hey Sarah, are you ready to go?”
“Yeah, let me just grab my coat.”
“Okay.”
“You were really secretive about this date.” She said with a flirtatious smile as she grabbed her black button up coat with the little black belt from the closet “Where exactly are we going?” she asked shutting the pale blue coat closet door.
“You`ll see soon enough.” I said with a wink.
We turned and walked out of the front door of the house heading towards the car. I was having a hard time not just popping the question right then and there, it wasn`t because I was excited about what her answer would be, rather it was the fact that the ring in my pocket felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. The sooner I asked the question the sooner I would be able to get rid of that feeling. We crossed through the white picket fence quietly listening to the squeak of the hinges on the gate and stepping out once again onto the driveway which greeted us with the soft pop and crackle that it had issued when I had walked up to the house.
We approached the car still not talking much yet just enjoying each other’s company, I opened the car door watching as Sarah stepped inside. I shut the car door with a dull thud and headed back around to my side of the car, there was a low throated growl that came from somewhere behind me as my hand touched the cool metal handle of my blue Ford Fusion. I quickly spun around to see what was growling at me, I stared off at the scenery behind me but all I could see was the house and the yard surrounded by the white picket fence. Ugh maybe it was all the horror movies I had been watching lately I thought to myself. I opened my door and took one more look around before sliding the rest of the way into the car because I still couldn`t shake the feeling that everything was about to change. When I was fully satisfied that everything was okay I stepped the rest of the way into the car sinking down into the seat and turning the key in the ignition.
“You ready, sweetheart?” I asked with a smile.
“Of course you`ve kept me in suspense all week.” She said her voice filled with excitement as she all but jumped up and down in her seat.
Conversation flowed so much easier for Sarah and I than it did for most couples, at least it seemed that way to me. We talked about all sorts of stuff, from what we loved to what we wanted to do and were we wanted to live. There was nothing that was worth giving this place up for, whether it was ease, convenience, or certain modern commodities like large chain stores we just could not give up the scenery that surrounded us here along with the atmosphere that permeated every part of this town for anything.
The clock on the dash board ticked over to seven forty five as I turned into the train station parking lot, we were right on time. The Stanley train station was a little bit of an odd quirk, it didn’t sit in the center of town like most stations, in fact it was on the outskirts. The station consisted of one little building that had wooden shingles on the roof two little ticket booths and was painted a deep brown. There was a cedar wood platform that jutted off the back of the building and right up to the edge of the old slightly rusted tracks. Since this was the scenic train ride there was no waiting on the train, it was already here in the station parked and waiting for us.
The train was much like you would have imagined for a scenic train ride, it had a solid black engine in front followed by six rusty red colored train cars. I turned the engine off and looked over at Sarah; with a big smile on my face I asked her “Are you ready for our date?”
“Are we really doing the scenic train ride?” she asked with a gasp.
“That`s why we`re here.” I said with a grin. I knew that this was the perfect place to propose to her.
“Well let`s go I have always wanted to take the scenic train ride.” She said with a squeal as she all but jumped out of the car.
We walked up the steps that led to the little ticket booth windows of the train station, I had already purchased our tickets online so I simply pulled the tickets out of my pocket and showed them to the employees that were sitting inside the booths. The employees who were just a couple of the local teenagers who checked our tickets and waved us on through while going back to whatever they had been doing on their cell phones. We crossed the wooden platform with the rhythmic click of the high heels that Sarah was wearing following us to the train car, there were ten other people from the town and a few others I didn`t recognize that I could see through the windows.
We climbed onto the train car and were immediately over taken by the beauty of it. There was a chandelier hanging from the ceiling that looked as if it had been plucked out of the 1940`s, it was large in size and was made out of glass with little teardrop shaped pieces that hung down and shimmered with a thousand little rainbows. I imagined going back in time where there would have been men sitting in this car smoking a cigar, or a pipe and reading the newspaper on their way to a different city.
It looked like somewhere where only the richest of the rich could have afforded to eat, the seats we were going to be sitting in were covered with red leather upholstery that had a solid oak wood boarder that was lacquered with an immaculate sheen that caused the wood to glisten and the upholstery to stand out very distinctly. It looked almost like a five star restaurant which I guess wasn’t too surprising since we were in the dining car. There were six sets of two booths that sat facing each other and had a deep red maple table in the center of them on each side of the train car.
The widows on the train were double paned forties style that had a green and gold trim that ran all the way along the edges and up to the ceiling, the gold trim subtly changed to an entirely soft gold color that helped to illuminate the car. A cherry colored wooden maple boarder ran along the ceiling lining the entire train car and separating the ceiling from the walls. We sat down just as the train started to pull out of the station, it was kind of cool to both hear and feel the clickity clack that the wheels made as they built up momentum. Pretty soon we were flying down the tracks at forty miles an hour with the scenery flashing past, it was so beautiful especially since I was spending it with the love of my life.




Comments (1)
"I raised my fist and knocked on the door," is one example of explaining a familiar action. You can trust the reader to fill in the raised fist if you simply say, "I knocked three times," or something similar. We also know it's a door. There are several examples of this throughout your story. You tend to over describe characters when we first meet them. Details can be revealed gradually. Matthew could stroke Sarah's hair on the train, for instance, and you caan then describe the color, texture, etc. This kind of over description happens several times as well. There's no inciting event, and no real sense that the story has actually begun. I like the idea that Matthew has a sense of foreboding, but your story might benefit from starting on the train just before he proposes. He can have his sense of foreboding, then one or two omens that support that fear. Like every writer ever, there are things that need work, so don't take my comments harshly. And feel free to critique "The Dragon's Destiny" as honestly. You have talent, and will only get better. You can obviously write a lot, as the prologue is quite long, and I hope it flowed easily, because it has that feel. I would suggest that you always ask yourself which words aren't needed to get the same message across, and think about where the true start of the story is.