The Cries Of The Wild

I didn’t know how much I was hurting them.

I’ve been through millions of forests, passing by trees and moss, and they felt like nothing more than scenery, a background in that point of my life. They were alive, but they weren’t sentient, they didn’t feel like anything to really care about.

Even the animals that were alive, they were just animals- they didn’t speak the language I did, they weren’t alive in the same way I was, they weren’t…people.

Why did they need to be people for me to understand their worth? Why did I need a connection through human language for pain and destruction to feel like an actual problem for me. I don’t know- I just know that it did, and when it did, it haunted me.

This forest was new. This forest held the souls of its inhabitants, from the animals to the trees, and every single one of them felt and saw the suffering caused within the ecosystem.

And that included, me. Someone telling me they cut down a tree had never impacted me before, but hearing the cries and despair of the forest shattered the apathy I had for them. It actually made me wonder if they could feel pain, but just couldn’t express it. And for that matter, which one was worse- not being able to express the agony of death or expressing it with the same results?

These woods, even without the communication barriers, were still not safe from hunters, and any attempt at negotiating with them ended the same- you could try, but at the end of the day, there’s no negotiating with someone with a gun. At the end of the day, they still held the power, they were still the one with the choice to murder, and if they came with that intent, it wasn't likely that they would give up on it. No matter how much the plants, or the animals, or even I tried to show the soul and humanity in this forest, it always seemed to ring hollow.

And that was what really disturbed me- I’m not proud of the fact that it took experiencing this kind of pain to understand it, but I wasn’t sure how others missed even that. How could you see an ecosystem dying, every part of it shaking in fear, begging you for mercy, and you’re still willing to add to that damage!?!

And even that was still just the tip of the iceberg- never in my life have I feared so much about the things I do, the hurt I could cause, the simple STEPS that I took, anything I could end up doing that could cause damage. I never want to do something like that again, but it feels impossible. My whole life holds this impact- I need to eat, I need clothes, and to get around, all of which impacts life around me. And even if I was able to avoid all of this, what about everyone else in the world? I can’t force change, and if having an entire forest beg you to stop doesn’t motivate change, I don’t know what will. I have no answers on how I or anyone else can stop this pain from happening and I can’t keep living with it.

Which is why you’re reading this. Even if I can’t add much to this fight, I hope my experiences can inspire change, even if I can’t face those changes on my own. I didn’t know I was hurting them, but I do know that I never want to hurt anyone or anything ever again…