The Beauty in the Nightmare

It’s been weeks since she last saw another living human. Months since she met someone who didn’t attack or betray her. Years since she was last with a person who loved her.

She crawled through the tunnel she’d carved out between the outside world and the cavern she’d found about a month ago before covering the overhead opening to protect her from the elements. Despite the natural protection of the rock formations, it was far too dangerous to leave to chance. Hopefully, she’d be able to stay here for a while this time.

As she made her way to the hidden exit, being careful not to catch herself on any of the rough walls, she thought about how she’d gotten there. Only 15 years ago she was celebrating her 10th birthday, surrounded by friends and family at home, smiling while hugging her dog as her older brother embraced them both from behind for what had to be the hundredth picture. But she didn’t mind, it was the best birthday she’d had thus far, having everybody home for once. The happy days didn’t last much longer though. The day before her brother had to go back to college, there was an announcement on the TV warning everybody to stay indoors for some sort of storm. She was too young to understand back then, but her parents and brother looked nervous, and that was enough for her. That was Summer. By the end of the year, neighborhoods were destroyed, the streets littered with bodies either from attacks or disease.

Her family had been lucky. Both her parents were recently retired military, and her brother was studying something horti- something… He liked plants. It was only thanks to them that she’d managed to survive this long, even after they…

Her mom was the first to go, having been captured while doing recon in a new area they’d arrived at about 7 months into the destruction of the world as they knew it. The group that caught her made a show of her atop the wall of their makeshift fortress. Her brother tried to shield her, but their father stopped him. “She needs to see… She needs to know what we’ll- what she’ll be up against…” he said through gritted teeth, tears streaming down his face as he watched the love of his life being cut and stabbed while restrained before being tossed off the side. She’d never forget the sound of the cruelest laughter she’d ever heard in her life after that.

Her dad was next, a couple years after the death of her mom. They’d somehow found a small group of his old military buddies and what remained of their families. The adults were all hardened, and the kids weren’t much different. Everybody was wary of newcomers, even if they weren’t strangers, but gaining trust came fast due to their history. Her father had been training both of them to fight and defend themselves in both hand to hand and a wide array of weapons, both legitimate and improvised. He taught them how to find good shelter, as well as how to build one from the ground up. He taught them how to hunt, which animals were good to eat, and how to prepare them. “Just in case,” he’d tell her, sad eyes soft and gazing into the distance every time she asked why he was showing them.

Her brother taught her about all the different plants they came across. What was edible and what wasn’t, what could help with infections, what could poison a person and what could be used as antidotes, and how to spot a “mimic”, as he liked to call them, so she wouldn’t confuse them. But the most important thing they taught her, the one cardinal rule she’d hold onto forever, was to never share her whole hand, even to people they trusted. You never knew when they’d betray you.

It was within this group of allies, where they’d shared responsibilities, trained together, laughed, and swapped stories, that her dad fell ill. Somebody had left their small compound alone without disclosing it to the group, a big violation of their rules, and encountered someone who’d been infected with whatever super bacteria had killed at least a third of the world’s population within only a few months almost three years prior. The same bug that at this point was responsible for the loss of half of the humans on earth, and incited so much panic that another 20% was lost due to raids, gang wars, and pure, unadulterated violence. Her dad was one of the first people that person had come in contact with when they returned, and within a couple of days the infection had spread. A week later, he was telling them to leave despite her loud protests.

“Protect each other, and survive,” were his last words to them as he pressed a small object into her hand. By that evening, he’d passed, and she and her brother were slipping away in the dead of night.

At thirteen, she’d already lost most of her family. As the pair moved through the brush in the dark, she cried silently, still clutching the last gift she’d ever get from her dad ever again. “We’ll be fine, Am. I won’t let anything happen to you. It’s you and me against the world now, and we haven’t lost to it yet,” he said, not slowing his pace. He kept mumbling more of the same the farther they got into the woods until she stumbled, and he decided to stop for the night. His eyes shown red in the light of the full moon, he’d been crying too. After setting up their camp, he pulled her in close. It was hot that night, but he was trembling. “I promise, Am, you’re going to make it. We’re going to get through this.”

For years they travelled together. They learned to predict the weather just by the wind patterns and the behavior of local animals. They developed their own silent language and moved around like extensions of one another. They made their own weapons and medicines, taking advantage of the new environments they came across as they moved around the country. Her dog had long since passed, and she wore a tuft of his red fur as her one accessory in her light brown hair which, by the time she reached her adult size, had grown long enough to extend past her back when loose. Over the years they’d built up quite a bit of muscle, bodies in great enough shape to make a pre-apocalyptic model green with envy.

One night in particular stood out in her memory. They had just arrived in a “new” city. They didn’t have a map, but it looked like it used to be Detroit, or maybe Cleveland. After splitting up for a few hours to recon the area, they met back up at the base of a tall building and made their way to the rooftop. It was a cool, clear night, not likely to pour the acid rain or blow the giant poisonous dust clouds they’d come to know as “normal” now. Even so, they kept the door propped for quick escapes. They laid on the rooftop, side by side, hands clutched together, looking up at the stars, admiring the bright arm of the Milky Way that stretched across the sky above, as though the heavens themselves were celebrating her 18th birthday with her. “Happy birthday, Am. You made it another year.”

“WE made it another year,” she said, squeezing his hand. “Thanks for staying with me.”

“Hey, you’re my baby sister. It’s my job as your brother. Haha!” He laughed, reaching over with his other hand to ruffle her hair.

“Hey! Stop that! You’re messing up my hair!” She laughed back.

“Like it’s not already messed up,” he replied, rolling his eyes but pulling his hand back and reaching into his pocket. “Here, your present.”

She stared contemplatively at the small object he placed in her hand. “A seed? What plant’s it from?”

“Amaryllis, like you,” he says, sitting up.

“Haha! Bro, you do remember that’s not my real name, right? And doesn’t that flower grow from a bulb?” she sat up facing him, soft pout not reaching her eyes that sparkled happily.

He nodded. “Did I ever tell you why I started calling you Am?” When she shook her head, he continued. “When mom and dad told me I was getting a baby sister, I wasn’t happy. But then the first time I looked at you, I thought there wasn’t a more beautiful girl in the world. I swore I’d protect you and make sure you grew up happy and strong. As you grew, you were so determined to stand on your own, but showered everyone with love. You sparkled! And I don’t just mean that one time you covered yourself in glitter,” he chuckled. “The Amaryllis has always been my favorite flower, but I never thought that your life would follow that of the flower as closely as it has… You had to grow up so fast, your childhood cut unfairly short… But you’ve bloomed into such an amazing person, and you’ve stayed so positive despite everything. I can rest easy every night knowing that no matter what, you’ll be okay. I couldn’t be prouder of you, sis.”

She cried happy tears for the first time in what felt like forever, hugging her brother for being so thoughtful. He really was the best brother she could have ever asked for. “I’m proud of you too, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life,” her deepest wish to stay together, unspoken. Little did they know that he wouldn’t make it another year, passing away after an accident shortly after his 27th birthday.

Seven years had passed since then. She has new scars, more fur clipped into her hair from the animal companions she made since her loss. At that time, she was heartbroken, even more so than for her parents. She truly felt it was the one loss that she’d never get past, but then she remembered what he’d said only a couple months prior under the most perfect night sky. ‘You’ll be okay.'

Now, as she reaches the end of her tunnel, breathing in the fresh open air, she looks down below at the forest before her. It was such an impressive menagerie of plant life, she knew her brother would have loved it if he was there. Beyond the tree line she could see the remains of yet another abandoned city, falling apart more and more with each rain. Looking up at the sky, today was a clear day. She pulls out the small, gold, heart-shaped locket that hung beneath her worn down shirt around her neck, the very gift that her father gave her the day he passed away. She popped it open, lovingly gazing at the photos of her parents on each side of the locket. Also sitting safely within the confines of the charm was the Amaryllis seed.

“Well guys, I’m 25 today. I wish more than anything that you could be here, but I won’t cry. I’ll be strong for you. I’ll survive and live for all of us. I carry everything you gave inside me.” She snapped the locket closed and replaced it securely under her shirt, giving it one final squeeze, ensuring that her most prized possession was safe. “I’ll build a life for myself, maybe meet someone who will care for me as much as you did and move forward together. I love you, always.”

As she descended to the woods, little did she know that her prayer had been heard. She would soon meet the person she was destined to meet. A person she’d never have met had the world not fallen to ruin. As her family gazed down upon her, they smiled.

She wouldn’t be alone for much longer.