The Assassin's Shade

I never thought I would be back here. The memory of this place is so painful that I swore I would leave this part of my life far behind me and never look back. It’s one of the few lessons I learned from the Faction that I still hold close to my chest. Never relive the past.

Yet, here I am walking the stone pathway to the front door of the mansion that my mother raised me in. Its exterior is covered in vines that crawl up the stone structure in varied directions. Some of the front windows are broken and graffiti has been sprayed on the walls, marking the brick with the words “freak house” and other obscenities.

It was never a secret that we lived here. Everyone knew of Ms. Varon and the magical children that lived inside the mansion’s sturdy walls. No one quite understood why children kept being born with access to the old magic of this world, Shade, but my mother believed that we had every right to exist peacefully amongst those who hadn’t. So, every time a child exhibited magic, they were sent here, to Varon’s Sanctuary, where they could grow up without persecution and extortion.

It was a happy childhood, full of laughter and love. My mother had a way of making us all feel like we were the most important people in the entire world. We didn’t know hunger or neglect, and she never once forced us to use our magic. Back then, I loved my powers, even when it seemed like I would never gain control of them.

It was clear very early that I had the strongest connection to Shade, out of all of us. It not only made me the most powerful but also the most unstable. Mother was sure that I would learn to control it over time. I have, but not in the way she wished for me. Each time my Shade was destructive, she told me that I just needed to focus on the goodness and love I had inside me. I don’t think I have much of that left.

She thought that we could all use our powers for good. For hope. She just wanted to fix the broken world. So, we learned to use Shade to grow plants from the earth, manipulate the seasons, move objects short distances, to heal, and to make medicinal potions. Whenever any one of us asked to learn defensive magic, she refused. She thought that any violence between us, even educational, was to be avoided.

We lived this way in this grand mansion until I was fifteen years old. We had gained a reputation as healers amongst the people of the town, and everyday we healed the sick and tended to crops. But, while there were people that were happy about our docile nature, word was spreading of a faction that wanted us to use our powers for a coming war. The Faction’s ideas spread across the town like wildfire. Soon, townspeople began to turn violent against us, and Mother let us out less and less. She chose to cower instead of stand up and fight. I still resent her for that. Maybe we could have saved ourselves when the Faction came.

Once I reach the towering marble front doors, my heart thunders. Images of my final night here flash behind my eyes. I can hear my own screams as they took my mother away and her voice as she told me that she loved me. I wonder what would have happened if she had just abandoned her pride. We wouldn’t have been taken that night to be trained as assassins for the Obsidian War. She wouldn’t be dead.

A year ago, I started to hear word of a woman parading as my mother, gathering a group of Shadows to stand against the Faction. It disrupted all order in my life. For the past ten years, I have lived as a slave to the organization that ended my childhood. They recognized my power immediately, training me to be the most talented assassin in the herd. I have completed thousands of assignments, and I was happy to carry out every single one of them. The Faction taught me to be strong. To be centered. I had control of my Shade because I was using it with anger. Anger that I harbored with every person I killed. Anger against my mother, because her own ignorance is what had made me a slave in the first place. But, when I heard that she might be alive, all of that control shattered, so I recklessly abandoned an assignment, making me the number one enemy of the Faction.

I run my fingers across the surface of the marble doors, afraid of what I have to do next. I’ve dreaded coming back here, but I need to know if it’s true. I need to know if she is alive. I take a step back, steadying myself. I close my eyes and open my senses to the Shade in the space around me. I command it to bend to my will and feel it shudder in response, awaiting my next move. Opening my eyes, I send it shooting in front of me. I am hit with a rush of adrenaline as the doors burst open, throwing dust and debris into the air. The magic settles as I loosen my grip on it. I take a deep breath and step through the doors.

I gasp at the sight of the foyer and feel my eyes begin to swell with tears. It is a grand room with high ceilings and large portraits on either side. Dirt covers the marble floors beneath my feet. Chairs lie broken in random places, and the walls and floors have dark blood stains that have long-since dried. In the middle of the room is a wide, carpeted staircase that leads to the second level, its railing broken. Wooden splinters are strewn across the steps. Images of my siblings being thrown down those steps flood my mind. I walk further into the room, ignoring the surfacing memories.

I have come back here to look for clues, in hopes that my mother has left a trail for me to find. This entire year I have traveled to any place that has whispered her name, all the while successfully avoiding my childhood home. I eventually reached a dead end, forcing me to resort to the last place I wanted to go. It seems I’ve come full circle.

I begin to explore the dilapidated halls of the mansion. Broken glass and wood crunch beneath my feet as I walk, and I'm filled with sorrow the deeper I go into this home. Being here is surreal. This place used to be filled with such joy, but now it emits immense sadness. The Shade in this space is stained with the trauma that happened here. I feel it cling to my skin, sending shivers up my spine.

Eventually, I find my old room. The integrity of the bedroom is mostly intact, like it was saved just for me to find all these years later. I turn around myself, gazing at all of my old drawings that are still hanging on the walls. I used to spend hours sketching the flowers in our gardens. I was so proud that my magic brought them to life. I thought that drawing them would preserve their beauty forever. I suppose it did.

I face the window next to my bed that overlooks the garden outside. The shrubs and vines are overgrown from years of negligence. Moonbeams cut through the darkness, illuminating the stone pathways that wind through the garden. I stare for a few minutes, imagining myself as a child, bringing the flowers to life as the other kids ran around, making tiny storm clouds over each other's heads. I laugh to myself. Times were simpler then.

I turn, just about to leave the room when I hear a small knocking on the window. I startle and whip my head toward the sound, immediately focusing my Shade to form armor around myself, but it's just a barn owl. I relax and acknowledge its beauty. The owl's wings glisten under the moonlight as it rustles its feathers. I smile to myself. Mother used to call me her owl when I’d stay up late into the night against curfew to watch the moon flowers bloom. Despite her rules, she used to let me do it with the promise that I’d sketch drawings of them for her. Sometimes I would stay up just so she would call me that. I guess I just wanted a moment where it was just us again.

The longer I look at the owl, the more I swear it's gazing back at me. It's eyes don't leave my face as it chirps. I watch as it turns its head out toward the garden and then back to me. I furrow my brows. It seems silly to think it’s trying to tell me something. I shake my head as if to shake the insane thought, but the bird repeats the motion and knocks it's beak on the window once more. The rational part of my brain tells me that I am simply imagining this nocturnal bird as a result of emotional exhaustion. The completely insane part tells me this could be a sign from my mother. I stare at the owl for a moment and decide to listen to the insane part. Cursing, I hurry out to the garden.

"This is insane, Nellie," I mutter to myself.

The air outside is chiller now that night has fallen. A night breeze blows past, blowing my black hair across my face. My eyes scan the sky for the owl.

The garden may have survived the Faction, but it couldn't survive time. The untrimmed trees have grown high into the sky, their roots spreading far out into the dirt. Rogue plants have traveled past their designated spots in the ground. Ivy covers the stone pathways, blooming with tiny white flowers. The sight is beautiful despite the sadness that comes with it.

Before I can register what I am doing, I open my arms to either side of me, my palms facing outward. I connect myself to the Shade around me and let my sadness intertwine with it. I let the emotion grow until the Shade carries the feeling in my heart. Then, with all my strength, I tell the Shade to bring the garden to life. I tell it to make the trees grow taller and the ivy longer. I tell it to spread the plants farther across the ground. To grow and grow until there the garden is a forest. I don’t stop until the foliage covers every inch of space. Until all my sadness saturates the night air. The release overwhelms me, and I crumple to the floor and begin to sob. For the loss of that night. For the loss of my home. Of my mother. Of myself.

It takes a few minutes for me to gather myself, and I begin to wipe at my tears, smearing the little makeup I had on. I curse at myself for this weakness before a chirp steals my focus. Suddenly, I remember why I ran out here in the first place.

I frantically glance around for the owl that I saw through my window. I abandon my previous thoughts of a special owl from my mother. Someone must have known I was coming here and used it to draw me out.

I call into the darkness, “Is someone out here? Enough with the illusions. Show yourself.”

Only the sound of the wind and rustling leaves answers me. I use the Shade as an amplifier and will my hearing far into the distance. Another owl chirp fills my ears.

“I said, show yourself,” I call a little louder.

As if appearing from thin air, an owl flies down from the sky and lands on a stone column in front of me.

I stare at it, still not believing my eyes. Despite my wanting to believe the worst, my gut tells me this owl’s presence is not an illusion to lure me. It’s an owl in the flesh.

I sigh. “So you’re really there, huh?”

The owl stares at me, cocking its head.

“Not a talker, are you?” I sigh and rub stress from my temples.

Without warning, the owl speaks. “Well I can be.”

I am stunned, and, just as I open my mouth to speak, the owl leaps from the column and transforms into a human right before my eyes. I immediately throw up my Shade in defense and shift my stance, readying myself to fight.

The were whispers of Shadows learning transfiguration, but I have never seen it in person. Shade can be so unpredictable, and it is personal to each individual.

The Shadow stares at me with a wry smile across his lips. I feel myself let down my guard a little as I take him in, studying each of his features. He is quite handsome, and I curse myself for the fluttering in my stomach. Dark, curly hair falls over his brows, and his hands are shoved into the pockets of his black jeans. A knit sweater covers his muscled torso. I hate that my eyes scan his body, and I hate that he is smug about it.

I shift my feet nervously. “Who are you, and why are you here?”

He laughs, “She sent me for you.”

My heart drops. “Who did?”

“Your mother.”

I shake my head, reinforcing my Shade. “No. Impossible. She’s dead.”

He kicks the dirt as he looks at his feet, as if the topic makes him uncomfortable. “That’s just what she wanted you to think. For the world to think.”

“If she is alive, why wouldn’t she come for me?” A slight anger bubbles inside of me at the thought of her refusing to save me.

He frowns, meeting my stare. “She wasn’t strong enough to go against the Faction, but she knew you one day would be. You are meant to end this.”

The anger brings tears to my eyes. I know what he is saying is right. The Faction is too strong for someone like my mother to go against. She would have been killed like the other rebels, but they can’t kill me that easy.

“How do you know her?” I ask the Shadow.

His eyes focus on mine. “I am a recruit for the rebellion. Her head guard.”

“And you’re here to take me where?” My heart quickens.

He smiles genuinely now. “To Haven. Are you willing to come with me?”

I glance around me, at the life I used to know. If I go with him, I fully ostracize myself to the Faction and make myself even more of an enemy. If I don’t, I may not ever find my mother. This could fully be a trap, but it could also lead me to the moment I have dreamed about.

“Yes.”

He grins widely and offers me his hand. I take it.

I feel the Shade around us stir as he closes his eyes. Out of thin air, a ball of light shimmers and grows until a swirling portal is inches from us.

He pulls me into the unknown.