The Angel of Deadhead Deep

A steady hum pervaded deep into Kate Sinclair’s skull as a light flickered in the periphery. A firm pressure bound her eyes shut while disembodied whispers drifted nearby. A rough jolt bolted her forward and awake. Her body sluggishly followed dim commands as her mind slowly stirred from a deep dream.

She squeezed her fingers allowing blood to re-enter her palms with nagging pins and needles. Kate’s eyes adjusted to the dimly lit space. She took in her still hazy surroundings. Polished mahogany, velvet seating, the dull watery roar of an engine, and large windows peering onto a seemingly eternal night.

"Ma’am, are you awake?" a voice said somewhere to her right. A teenage boy loomed over her. ‘I didn’t want to disturb you, but you need to get up,’ he said.

She tried to get her bearings amidst the languid confusion that still lingered at the forefront of her mind. The boy’s appearance, like the train interior, did not give any clues. He had pale blue eyes, brown mousy hair and old clothing, like ten generations worth of hand-me-downs from a Midwest garage sale.

"What? I’m sorry. What’s going on?" she asked, noting how raspy her voice sounded.

"I think someone might be dead," he said.

With that she was up, and then immediately down as her knees gave way. The boy steadied her.

"Woa, ma’am, easy there now," he said.

"Thanks. Sorry, I don’t know what came over me," she said as she cleared her throat.

She held the backrest of the seat briefly noting that there were seven others, including her and the boy, in the long compartment. Some were awake, some asleep and one apparently dead.

"I’m Elijah, the pleasure is mine, ma’am," he said.

"You can stop calling me ma’am. I’m not that old," she said as she rubbed her neck.

He flushed red.

"You can call me Kate," she said more gently.

"Right, sorry," he said dropping his hand. "Over here," he continued.

They made their way to the opposite side of the compartment.

Is this an upstate bound train? She wondered. It would explain the cozy interior, but even still, what New York City train looked like this?

As she walked down the aisle she took in the other passengers. At the front of the compartment was an older Chinese woman whose right hand was bound with prayer beads. In the middle of the compartment was a father and daughter. He stared off into the distance murmuring something to himself, while the little girl with wispy blonde hair slept soundly with a pink Beanie Baby in hand. On the right four rows down, was a tall black man in one of those classic navy suits that never seemed to go out of style. He lolled in and out of sleep.

Behind him was the seventh man. He had a grey crown and a slightly slack jaw with heavy jowls beneath. He sat dangerously still with his head at an awkward angle. She leaned into the scent of sandalwood and moth balls.

"I woke up and found him like this," Elijah whispered. "He just wouldn’t move," he said.

Kate carefully felt for a pulse at the old man’s neck. At the sudden feel of clammy skin she hissed and withdrew.

"Yes, I felt that too. Cold as the dead," he said.

"Good Christ," she said. Elijah flinched.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"He probably had a stroke or something," she continued with a stronger voice. "Let’s get everyone in the loop and then I’ll go to the front and alert the conductor," she said. "Elijah, can you cover him with a blanket?" she asked.

He nodded and looked around to the overhead compartments as she walked to the front and cleared her throat.

"Hi…excuse me, hello everyone!" she called out, her voice finally normalized. Each stirred and looked her way with varying degrees of awareness.

"I’m sorry to have to make this announcement, but feel everyone should be aware that there’s been a death," she said.

"Elijah over there will be staying with the body as I go to the front for help," she said.

The older Chinese woman near her began to weep. Kate stooped down to her armrest.

"It’s going to be ok. Sorry, Ms…?" Kate asked

"I…I am Jia Li Chen. I don’t understand, what’s going on?" she said.

"It’s ok, Ms. Chen. Please don’t cry. My friend Elijah and I will take care of this."

"Have you seen my daughter?" Ms. Chen asked.

"I’ll look for her as soon…." Kate began.

"How did I get here?" Ms. Chen interrupted.

Kate froze. That deep primal nagging just at the edge of her senses creeped in — the one she had been avoiding since she woke up. How did she get here? Dread rolled in. She had not traveled by train in years, not even the subway. She was scared of any machinery larger than a car. Come to think of it she would rather walk than drive.

Why can’t I remember — was I drugged? She thought with growing alarm.

Another jolt of the train shook her back into the present.

"We’ll look into that as soon as I get back. I promise," she said as she held Ms. Chen’s hand giving her a comforting squeeze. It was as much for her as it was for Ms. Chen.

Elijah had finally covered the old man from view. With that she approached the gilded door, noting the deep unnatural night beyond. Strange, she thought. It was almost too dark. That thought never continued for as she tried the large brass handle it refused to budge. She tried again, and again. She quickly strode down the aisle to the other door ignoring the eyes that followed her.

She grasped that handle and…nothing. Absolutely nothing. She looked to Elijah who had come up behind her. She nodded to him to try and yet, once more the door refused to budge. He leaned in. The veins at his neck strained with the effort.

"Try the next one," she said with quiet urgency.

Elijah bolted down the compartment. She watched him become more panicked trying to open a seemingly unopenable door. Kate’s body tilted an axis in the wrong direction.

What was going on?

The passengers looked between Elijah struggling with the door and her.

"Everyone! Please, we need an able-bodied person to help. It seems the doors are a bit…rusty," she called. The tall black man in the navy suit entered the aisle.

"You just need some muscle is all," he said.

"We’d appreciate the help…?" she said

"Desmond. The name is Desmond," he replied.

He moved towards Kate’s door. As he began to work, Kate glanced over to Elijah. His face was filled with an odd expression. Rage? No, not rage. It was disgust, but he was not looking at her. He was focused on Desmond.

"Seems to be jammed worse than a Queens bound R door," Desmond said with a nervous laugh. He heaved with a final push but it refused to move an inch.

Elijah cleared the way as they both came to the forward door. Desmond strained with even more force but with a final huff he leaned away, his brow covered in a slick sheen of sweat.

"I don’t get it. I can’t see anything that’s causing it to be blocked," he said with heavy breaths. Kate’s eyebrows furrowed. How were they going to get out? But more importantly, how exactly did they get in?

"Does anybody remember boarding this train?" she asked.

"What?" Desmond said.

Suddenly, the eternal night from beyond crashed into the compartment as the lights went out. The little girl from the middle row screamed, along with a higher pitched voice. Adding to the song of terror within was a deeper vocal beyond the window. A deep distant roar like thunder. At that, everyone quieted down as the eerie sound began again.

"What the hell is that?!" someone asked.

"Shhh, listen," Kate said as the sound resurged again. A long drawn out hum that simultaneously clicked, gurgled, and bubbled in multiple frequencies. The compartment jolted roughly throwing everyone to the floor. The lights flickered on. Kate immediately rose to stand at the window, peering out into the dark.

"What was that?" Elijah asked as Desmond held out a hand for him. He immediately swatted it away.

"What’s wrong with you?" Desmond said.

"No one asked for your help, boy," Elijah said.

"What did you just say..." Desmond said as his voice faded out into the background.

"Its as if the dark is filled with something," Ms. Chen said to Kate. Her hand tightened around the prayer beads while her ominous words echoed in Kate’s mind.

Kate put her hand to the glass. It was below freezing. Little dark orbs raced against the window pane. One could almost miss it, the orbs were nearly invisible. No, not orbs, but bubbles? As if they were….Kate stood back suddenly. "I need everyone to…." Kate began.

"Get away from me kid, before I hurt you!" Desmond yelled down to Elijah who was uncomfortably close to Desmond’s face.

"Screw you!" Elijah yelled pushing Desmond.

Desmond did not budge. He laughed.

"History lesson boy, this ain’t the 70’s you backward hillbilly," Desmond said leaning further into Elijah’s space.

"This is the 70’s you dumb ape!" Elijah yelled as he hit Desmond square on the jaw.

Screams erupted in the cabin at the sudden violence.

Desmond grabbed Elijah by the cuff of his collar, lifting him to his full height.

"Wait, what did you just say?" Kate asked.

"Are you siding with this low life?" Elijah said angrily.

"Elijah, what did you just say?" Kate asked sternly.

"That he’s a dumb…" he said

"Elijah, what year do you think it is?" Kate interjected.

"It’s 1979. Did you hit your head?"

Desmond dropped him none to gently to the floor. "Is he delusional?" Desmond said.

Kate looked to his classic navy suit that really did never go out of style. "What year do you think it is?" Kate asked.

Desmond stood taller. "Why, do you think his crazy is catching?"

"Please, what year do you believe it to be?" Kate pressed.

"I don’t need to believe it. It’s 1988, Ronald Reagan just.…"

Kate backed away.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Desmond continued.

"Ms. Chen…" Kate gently said.

"My daughter…" Ms. Chen said.

"I promise we’ll get to that shortly. But tell me. What year is it?"

"I…It’s the year of the dragon, 2012."

"This is ridiculous," Desmond laughed. "This is obviously a sick joke that one of you concocted. My money’s on him," he said pointing to Elijah.

"Why does New York always attract the worst type of sickos?" Desmond muttered.

Kate moved to the middle of the cabin towards the man and his daughter. He was still staring out the window.

"Sir?"

"He won’t talk to you," the little girl said.

"Is your dad on any medication?" Kate asked.

"He’s not my dad," she said.

Kate looked at him carefully then. Open eyes unseeing. At least he had stopped murmuring.

"Come sweetie, why don’t you join us closer at the front," Kate said holding out her hand. "Where are your parents?"

"I don’t know. Can you help me find them?" she asked.

"I’m sure they are around here somewhere," Kate said. "What’s your name?"

The little girl rubbed her eyes with one hand and cuddled the pink Beanie Baby in the other.

"I’m Lillian, but I like Lila. I have six dolls, four cookies, two teacups and one sister," she said as Kate brushed her hair aside.

"I’m Kate, and I have one sister. Her name is Emma…" Kate began, but her heart immediately tightened for some reason.

"Can you tell me what year it is, Lila?"

"Silly, don’t you know? It’s 2001," she said as she clutched tighter to Kate.

"Do you know about the towers?" Kate whispered.

"My daddy works there! He promised me that if I am good I could go on my birthday!"

Kate’s eyes narrowed.

"What’s today’s date, Lila?"

"Today is the 9th of September, silly. You’re not good at dates are you?" Lila said.

Kate lifted Lila up from her hip and gently rested her next to Ms. Chen.

"Is it me or is it darker out there?" Elijah said drawing Kate’s attention to the view beyond the window.

"It was always dark," Desmond scoffed.

"No, he’s right. It’s definitely darker," Ms. Chen said.

"Desmond, there’s something wrong with the guy back there. He’s awake but something’s not right," Kate said.

"Great, that’s all we need. Another unexplained…" Desmond said, only then catching the worried expressions on Ms. Chen and Lila, "I’ll go check on him," he finished.

"There must be a rational explanation for all of this. Anyone have any recollection of how we got here?" Kate asked.

"What do you mean, how we got here?" Elijah said.

"Where’s your train ticket?" Kate asked as Elijah began to pat down his pockets.

"I…holy moly. I don’t remember," Elijah said.

Desmond walked back up the aisle. "He seems to be really out of it. He's not responding to anything," Desmond said.

"I also just woke up here. I don’t remember getting on this train," Ms. Chen admitted. ‘I tried calling my daughter but I can’t get a signal," Ms. Chen pulled out an old Nokia phone.

"What is that?" Elijah asked.

"Are you all serious? You know what - I don’t even care, I just want to go home. Can we wrap up this charade?" Desmond said.

"And how exactly do you plan to do that when none of us knows where we are or how we got here?" Kate asked.

"Of course I know…." Desmond said as he tried to fill the void of the evident unknown. A weighted hush descended over everyone. Desmond sat down in the next seat over the aisle from Ms. Chen as Elijah leaned against the wall.

"Someone’s lying," Elijah said. "Or we all are, what kind of game is this?" Elijah said just as the lights vanished from the cabin.

In the dark beyond the glass, the deep bellows sounded from right outside. This time there was light, but something strange. The atmosphere around them glowed.

The train’s speed immediately halted as something latched onto the compartment. In the periphery suckers larger than a face fastened themselves onto the glass with inhuman strength. The suckers ran the span of the entire compartment, moving in one steady rhythm. The glow faded, replaced by a large pale sun. The sun had varying striations and an elongated split of black that moved.

"Oh my God. Is that an eye?" someone exclaimed.

The massive pupil glided across the cabin taking them all in. Elijah pressed into the back wall. The eye narrowed in on him.

"Stay still," Kate whispered feeling blood roar in her ears. Her heart raced at an odd rhythm as she squeezed her numbed hands in an effort to control her rapid breathing.

Do not hyperventilate, this is just special effect or an illusion or something. It’s not real, it can’t be. She thought.

The compartment vibrated with the creature's call as the suckers constricted even more. Kate tensed. High pitched squeals of metal sounded loudly as the train’s momentum fought against the might of the creature beyond. The deep thunder from earlier sounded from right above. In an instant the suckers were ripped off the windows.

The train steadied and churned on.

Out in the distance, the glow of the creature illuminated the deep as two titans collided. Light revealed mere moments in the dark — lightening at twilight. A much larger grey being ripped off endless tentacles as the steady glow eventually faded into nothing. They were once more in complete darkness. Kate became dizzy with blood rush.

"There’s no way I imagined that," Desmond said, "We all saw that right?" the first to break the long silence.

"This is the devil’s work," Elijah muttered.

"I want my mommy!" Lila said as she cried into Ms. Chen side.

The cabin lights came back on, dimmer than the last.

"None of us remembers getting on this train, someone is dead, all of us believe it to be different years, the doors are jammed…" Kate murmured to herself.

Before she could finish Elijah bolted for the door.

"Don’t touch that door!" Desmond yelled.

"Why the hell not! There’s a dead body in here and the doors are bolted, almost as if something is trying to keep us in. I’m not even going there with whatever the hell that was outside just now!" Elijah screamed as his eyes roamed frantically among them.

"If what we all saw is real, then that means we are underwater. Deep underwater," Kate said.

"But where is this train taking us? Why is this happening?" Ms. Chen asked worriedly, her hand twitching around her prayer beads.

"I don’t know, and I don’t want to stick around to find out," Desmond said.

"I need to get off this train now!" Elijah screamed as the cabin lights cut out once more.

One breath, two breaths, three breaths. Kate inhaled trying to calm herself, as she felt something brush past her arm.

A choking sound stirred the darkness.

"Who is that, which one of you is making that sound?" Desmond yelled.

"Everyone, hold still!" Kate said.

A scuffle echoed in the cabin as the train jolted forward. The lights flickered, revealing Elijah on the ground holding his chest struggling to breath.

"Wô de mā ya!" Ms. Chen yelled as she grabbed Lila and moved one row down from the chaos.

"I want to go home," Lila hiccuped while Ms. Chen shielded her eyes.

Kate fell to Elijah and held his hand. He tried to speak but with one last fighting breath went still.

"What the fuck!" Desmond screamed startling all of those left. "Maybe this…this is the Devil’s work! Christ, the kid was right," Desmond said as he gripped his head.

"Desmond, we don’t know anything. We all just need to calm down," Kate said slowly rising to face him head on, responding far more calmly than she felt.

The truth was he was just saying what they all felt. What other horror was there to come?


Desmond had begun to cry, then grew angry, frantic, panicked — faster the rush of emotions came as he hyperventilated. Ms. Chen and Lila moved further down the compartment away from him.

"Are we in hell? Is this some sort of punishment?" he said mumbled trying to catch his breath.

"Desmond, stop talking. You’re scaring us!" she yelled. If he panicked she did not want to imagine what else could happen.

"We should be fucking scared!" Desmond screamed.

Gravity pitched everyone forward and downwards.

"Oh my god. We’re going deeper," Ms. Chen said.

A small but distinct crack echoed loudly through the cabin as the lights faded to nothing.

Kate stumbled into the dark, racing to get to the other side. She hit the door frame where Ms. Chen and Lila were but it was empty. As the light returned Kate saw Ms. Chen alone in the aisle, near to Desmond.

How did she get past me? She thought. 


Lila was tucked away on the ground next to the seventh’s man body. Her reddened face puffy with tears tilted towards Kate as she sighed with relief. Kate looked back up the aisle to Ms. Chen’s still form.

"Ms. Chen, are you ok?" Kate asked as she slowly moved up the aisle.

"Ms. Chen?" Kate asked again as she placed a hand on her shoulder. Ms. Chen collapsed. She was already dead before she hit the floor. Both Kate and Lila screamed.

Kate ran back down and picked up a still crying Lila.

"Stay back!" Kate screamed over to Desmond.

"It wasn’t me. I didn’t do this, how could I do this!" Desmond pleaded.

Lila clutched Kate tighter. The window panes continued to crack under the mounting pressure.

"We are all going to die here! Don’t you get it? Someone is doing this and it’s not me," Desmond said.

"We’re the only ones left!" Kate yelled at him.

A strange sound came forth, this time from inside the train. It was the single most bone chilling laugh she’d ever heard.

Kate’s eyes widened as both she and Desmond looked to the still silent man who was leering at her, now very much aware and very much awake.

In an instant Desmond darted down the aisle towards her and Lila as something else beyond the glass launched directly into the train taking the light with it.

"I want my mommy and daddy!" Lila cried.

"Shhh, it’s ok sweetie!" Kate said as she strained to hide her tears in the dark. Someone screamed nearby. Lila cried even harder.

"It’s just a terrible dream, that’s all," Kate spoke into Lila’s hair. Holding her with a grip that would leave marks. The thing beyond the windows shook the train with more fervor. The glass splintered loudly all around them.

"I don’t like this dream. Where are we going?" Lila asked.

"To the place of long forever's and endless night," a deep unknown voice said.

Kate stiffened. The voice came from nearby. A strong gush of air expelled as the lights flickered on. Desmond lay in the aisle below the silent man who held a clear syringe in hand.

"Desmond!" Kate yelled. But he was already gone. The train jolted again, deeper it went into the abyss with a madman.

Lila clung to Kate, crying into her neck.

"Why are you doing this to us?!" Kate screamed.

"I’m helping you, can’t you see?" he said turning slowly towards them.

"Stay back you psycho!" she screamed.

"I am not a psycho," he said as a long shadow crawled up the aisles and chairs behind him. The shadows danced rapidly, creating a twisted shadow-man with furious dark wings. Kate blinked away what must have been a trick of the light for in the next instant it was gone.

"No, Kate. I’m something greater. I’m deliverance," he said, then he ran towards them.

Kate quickly moved Lila behind her. "Close your eyes Lila, and try to think of your mommy."

She looked to the massive being lurking outside and braced for impact. She screamed as loudly as she could. The beast beyond the glass reacted, shaking the train as the man crashed into her at an awkward angle.

Water blasted in as she threw him off balance, but he easily corrected and threw her like a rag doll to the floor, her head catching an armrest on the way down. Kate’s eyes glazed over, but not before she spotted Lila on the floor clutching her pink Beanie Baby.

As the silent man readied the syringe, Kate used her weight to pull him towards her. Multiple syringes from his torn pocket fell into the water that rose all around them.

The lights flickered as he hit her square in the gut. She buckled over in agony. He grabbed her ankle and dragged her till large hands wrapped around her throat, capillaries within burst under the pressure.

"Shh, rest now. This will be quick, sweet Kate," he whispered above her.

In the water by her hand she felt salvation. With a sudden rush of energy she jabbed a syringe into his neck. His eyes went wide as an air bubble entered his blood stream. His hands went slack as he collapsed next to her.

"You first, asshole," she rasped as she freed herself from his death grip.

His body convulsed in time with the steady hits from the creature beyond the glass. He grabbed his chest, gasping for air that would never come again. His eyes went unnaturally still.

The creature outside wailed and relinquished its hold. But that hold was a final protection from the icy depths. Kate ran to Lila as the windows exploded, sending glass and the abyss swirling around them.

The last thing Kate felt was the brush of Lila’s fingertips. Then all went dark as the beyond consumed them both.

______________________

In her drowned consciousness Kate could still hear sound.

Is this is what death feels like? Kate wondered.

A beeping noise grew in intensity, rattling her chest with such a force that she awoke in an instant with a mighty breath. The light was blinding, the voices around her too loud. What new hell was this?

"Kate, look at me. Kate!" a woman shouted.

"Stand back ma’am," an authoritative male voice said. Figures slowly came into focus.

"Kate! Thank God!" the distantly familiar voice said.

"Ma’am, you really need to stand back," another male voice said.

"Stop calling me ma’am dammit! We’re the same age," the woman yelled.

Kate laughed. Oh, did she know that voice. One could never forget a sister’s rage.

"Emma?" Kate said, noting how strangled her voice sounded.

Someone gasped.

"Emma? Is that you?" she continued.

"I’m here Kate," Emma said as Kate felt warmth cradle her hand.

Kate’s eyes opened. There were six doctors and nurses fluttering around her. A cop stepped forward impatiently.

"Ms. Sinclair, are you ok? Do you remember anything?" he asked.

"What’s…what’s going on?" Kate struggled to say. "Oh my God, Lila. Is Lila ok?" Kate struggled against one of the nurses who kept her firmly down.

"Who’s Lila?" Emma asked looking to the others.

"She could be experiencing shock," one of the doctors said. "It’s typical for some amnesia upon waking from such a long period. This is really not the time for…"

"Long? Emma how long was I out for?" Kate asked, looking at her sister who she just noticed looked the same but a little different somehow.

"Sweetie, you had an accident. You were hit by an oncoming car, remember?"

"I…don’t…" Kate struggled to say as an unbidden memory came to the fore. Trees and fumes and fire.

"You were in a coma," Emma finished.

"What year is it?" Kate asked.

A second cop stepped forward, "Ms. Sinclair, what year do you think it is?"

She felt the eyes of them all. Too much notice, too much focus.

"I highly recommend against this…" the doctor said.

"2006?" Kate said as Emma’s face twisted in sympathy.

"Kate, it’s 2008. You…you were in a coma," Emma said.

"But that’s not possible. I was just awake," Kate said with a panicked voice.

"I told you this was not a good idea. She needs to rest," the doctor continued.

"No, listen to me. I was in a train with Lila, she had a pink Beanie Baby, there was Desmond, and this kid, his name was Elijah. There was Ms. Chen, no her name was Jai Li Chen, there was something about a dragon, and she was looking for her daughter. There were two others, an old man who was already dead and there was.…there was…." Kate struggled. She knew how crazy this sounded.

And yet, a heavy silence hovered over the team in the room.

"How do you know those names?" the first cop pressed.

"What do you mean? I was just with them," Kate looked around noting the shocked faces.

"Ma’am, that’s not possible," he said as the beeping got louder.

"That’s enough. Everyone out now!" the doctor commanded.

"What's she talking about. Why are those names important?" Emma asked the cop as Kate slipped into darkness once more.

______________________

When Kate woke next, she was in another room. Emma slept in a chair nearby. It was nighttime, but the right kind this time. Emma stirred amidst the beeping coming from the machines. She finally woke to see Kate looking at her.

"Emma, what happened?" Kate asked quietly.

"Oh Kate. I’m not even sure where to begin," Emma said wiping the tiredness away from her eyes.

"There was a man who worked here. Matthew. He was one of the night time nurses. He…oh God…he tried to hurt you. Something pulled you from the coma and you fucking fought him. The doctors had never heard of anything like this," Emma said as began to break down.

"It wasn’t just this one time," Emma continued, voice thick. "He had done this before."

"How many?" Kate asked as tears rolled down her cheek.

"All I know is you stopped him, you wanted to live," Emma said.

"We all did," Kate said holding back tears. "What about Lila?"

"The hospital clamped down quickly, but one of the nurses came to me after. There’s a patient called Lillian Percy. Even after all this time her mom made sure she had her pink Beanie Baby with her. She’s on floor 3."

"I want to see her." Kate whispered.

"They called her mom. The dad had already passed away…"

"On 9/11. I know," Kate said.

"Kate, how do you know that? The things you said…" Emma said.

She looked at Kate, but Kate wasn’t here. She was back on that train, with the others. The others who wanted to live. She tried to swallow but her throat was so dry.

Emma reached for her hand willing her back into the now.

"You saved her you know. You somehow saved that girl, Lillian," Emma said.

"Lila. She likes to be called Lila," Kate whispered.

Emma squeezed Kate’s hand so hard it hurt. This time she welcomed the irritating pins and needles because it meant she was alive, and that was a good fucking feeling.