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Legends Rewritten

By Mother CombsPublished 12 months ago 9 min read

The Nereid live in the underwater city of Coralmer, located below the Pacific Ocean just off the Californian coastline. A bustling community full of varied sea people, Coralmer is one of the richest, underwater megalopolises. This beautiful town is full of coral reef houses and a mother-of-pearl castle for the royal family.

A kindly king and queen rule over all of Coralmer's citizens. These good monarchs are the proud parents of six beautiful daughters, Syrena, Marina, Daphne, Aquamarine, Calypso, and Doris– each girl born a year apart. All of Coralmer adored the royal family.

The youngest daughter, Doris, was a dreamer and very adventurous. She would constantly swim to the forbidden surface and watch the surfers from the safety of some rocks. As she watched the surfers, she fantasized that she had appendages similar to theirs, so that she may also ride the waves on a board the same as them. Sometimes, these human swimmers would leave things floating behind them in the water when they left, and Doris would take the items below to her little sculpture garden to decorate it.

One day, while Doris was at the surface, no surfers were at the beach, so she watched storm clouds roll in. The waves were higher than ever, and she felt a rush of exhilaration as each booming breaker crested. Suddenly, as one of the gnarliest swells formed, a shadow appeared inside the surging roller, and as Doris watched a California Surfer god formed from the surf and rode the wave towards the shore. Falling instantly in love, Doris swam closer to the shoreline to get a better view.

From that day on, Doris returned daily, hoping to see the object of her affection. On the days she was lucky enough to see him, she would go home and moon about him as she did her lessons on an oceanic computer with her tutor, Mr. Morrissey. Of course, this would get her in trouble with the teacher, who would punish her by having Doris write “I will not daydream in class” a hundred times.

The day that Doris turned 18, she sneaked away before the party and headed for the surface. She hoped to catch sight of her lovely Californian idol for her big day. When she broke the surface, she was so happy to see him riding the waves, that she almost didn’t notice that it was storming up a monsoon! When she did notice how big the waves were getting and how dark the sky was, she watched her first love closely, hoping he would be okay.

Wave after wave he rode to the shore like a man possessed, never once taking a break or giving up. It was like the demons of the deep had a hold of him, and as Doris watched they were using him like a puppet on a string. He was alone as the master of the waves this day and was taking full advantage of his solitary time.

Without warning, a lightning bolt streaked through the sky towards the water, striking Doris’s crush’s surfboard and blowing it to smithereens. As she watched, a chunk of the board flew up, and walloped him in the head, knocking him out. As he slipped below the water she dove from the rocks she was hiding on and quickly swam towards him. He had sunk well below the water when Doris made it to him. She grabbed him under his arms and swam to the surface with him.

Once she made the surface, Doris swam with all her might for the shore. Once she had dragged him onto the beach, she pounded on his back, trying to get him to breathe again. Choking and gagging, he eventually vomited up salt water and started to open his eyes, but she was already turning to dive back into the ocean. All he saw of her were the most beautiful aquamarine-colored eyes hidden by the silkiest hair before he passed out again, thinking it was a dream.

When he woke up, a girl with bleach-blonde hair and light blue eyes stood over him, poking him and asking him if he was alright. The girl helped him to his feet, and she helped him to his beach house up the shore from where she came upon him. He asked this girl for her name, telling her he was Biff. Once she told him that her name was Buffy, he asked her for her digits, thinking she was the girl who had saved him and Biff also thought maybe they could go out sometime.

Meanwhile, below the ocean in Coralmer, Doris was lovesick for the surfer she had rescued. Even though she knew nothing about him, she daydreamed about him, all the same. Mooning about him, she was late for many state functions she was required to attend.

Her parents noticed her preoccupation and began asking questions, but no one was sure what was wrong with her. Many did notice that she was spending more time in her special sculpture garden, and they told the king and queen this. Upon hearing this, Doris' father stormed into his youngest child’s little park. Extremely mad, he tore the sculptures apart, forbidding Doris from ever going to the surface again.

This greatly upset the poor girl, causing her to become depressed. She moped around the palace for a few days, wishing her father would change his mind. Finally, unable to stand it anymore, Doris snuck out of the castle and left the city to find the Sea Witch, hoping she could help with her problem.

Doris was starting to get discouraged, she’d searched for the hag for over a day and had not found her. Finally, close to the end of the second day, she stumbled upon a strange grotto with a weird purple glow. Making her way into the underground chamber, Doris passed several weird bones from different sea species, causing a chill up her spine. She almost lost her nerve and turned around to leave but two lanternfish, glowing eerily in the tunnel’s darkness appeared, motioning for Doris to follow them deeper into the cave’s recesses.

Exiting into a wide cavern, Doris was almost blinded by the phosphoric lighting around the chamber. Blinking rapidly, she looked around in awe at the magnificence surrounding her. Stalactites and stalagmite sculptures decorated the cavity, some as simple as starfish with seahorses, while others were as elaborate as the Corolmer palace with all its citizens. Beautiful sea gold jewelry with precious ocean gems was set on pedestals and each reflected the light from the glowing lamps throughout the chamber. In the midst of it all, on a black coral throne, that looked as if it flowed with some alien ichor, sat the Sea Witch in all her impressive glory.

Standing at the entrance to the impressive grotto, Doris could only stare until the stunning woman motioned for her to come forward. Timidly, Doris swam forward, unsure of exactly what she would say to the Enchantress or if she’d even be able to talk at all. The nearer to the impressive throne Doris got, the more tongue-tied she was. Curtsying when she arrived in front of the Sea Witch, Doris held the position until the strange woman told her she might rise.

“Oh daughter of Titan and Celeste, what do I owe this honor?” The Sorceress gently asked.

Stuttering, Doris responded, “M-m-majestic Sea Witch, I have traveled from the city to ask you for a boon in the one thing I most desire.”

The Enchantress looked at the little Nereid, smiled knowingly, and said, “You wish for true love?”

Amazement and shock showed on Doris’ face, “H-how d-did you k-know?”

Laughing, the Sorceress responded lightly, “Isn’t that what they all want when they come to me? To fall in love with some sea person and live happily ever after?”

“Wait. What? Sea person? No, no. You have it all wrong. I want to go to the surface and re-meet my true love, marry him, and live happily ever after,” Doris responded, forgetting her nervousness and losing her stutter.

“Well, I can’t say I’m not a little surprised. That now will cost you a little more though. Sure you don’t want a sea person to love?”

“No, I must have my surfer. It’s him or no one. I don’t care about the cost.”

“If you must, you must. The cost will be high. I’ll require your voice for the spell to work.”

“My v-voice?” Doris stuttered. Firming her resolve, she said, “If that’s what’s needed, I give it willingly.”

The Sea Witch then prepared a ritual as old as time, mixing ocean herbs with salt minerals, and then she chanted these words,

“A pinch of salt,

a leaf of kelp.

A maiden lost,

Magical help.

For the love of a man

A voice paid

If love is not gained

There can be a trade”

As the Sorceress recited these words, she held a pink pearl that began to glow luminously. She motioned for Doris to start singing. As Doris sang, her words seemed to grow fainter and come from the inside of the pearl. Soon, no sound came from Doris, but the pearl thrummed in the vibration of what used to be her voice.

“The price has been paid. Now go, quickly, to the surface before your legs form or you will be trapped in the between.”

With no further warning, Doris swam as quickly for the surface as she could. As she breached the topside, she gulped in fresh night air to her newly formed burning lungs. Facing towards the shore, Doris began swimming to the beach, where she could see a fire built.

Arriving at the beach, Doris stopped by someone’s bag long enough to borrow a pair of shorts and a tank top before continuing to the fire. Reaching the group around the firepit, she looked around for her surfer. Seeing him across from the flames from her, Doris began to make a path towards him. Standing within feet of him, she watched him hoping he would see her and remember her.

He looked Doris’ way a time or two, but he seemed more intent on the three blonde girls around him, telling them stories and jokes while he kissed them. Her surfer was more intent on bragging about his exploits than he was in listening to anyone. Doris watched in interest as her love stood, and grabbed one of the women by the hand, dragging her off with him. Deciding to follow them, Doris tagged along at a distance, not knowing what she would see. When she saw them peeling off their clothing, while they made out, she knew that she shouldn’t be watching anymore. Unable to take her eyes off them, she watched heartbroken as the two continued their sexual dance.

Ripping her eyes from the scene, she hurried back to the fire, unsure what to do. She had given up everything to be a part of his life, and now she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be in his life. He was all puffed up like a pufferfish, full of himself and a womanizer.

Doris was fighting the tears when she saw one of the humans pull their phone from their pocket and check something on it. Out of curiosity, she picked up the phone lying next to her and opened it. Without a password, she was able to access its files easily. Finding an interesting-looking file called Tinder, Doris opened it up and followed the directions in the app. Before she knew it, she had opened an account.

She was starting to set the phone down when suddenly it began vibrating in her hand. Surprised, she checked to see what was buzzing and was shocked to see the Tinder app had eight notifications already. Opening it up, Doris was amazed at the men who wanted to meet with her and chat over a cup of coffee. Taking the phone, uncaring whose device it was, Doris left the fire. Sitting on the first lounge chair she came across, she opened the app. Smiling to herself, Doris thought, “This could get interesting.”

AdventureClassicalFableFantasyLoveShort StoryYoung AdultStream of Consciousness

About the Creator

Mother Combs

Come near, sit a spell, and listen to tales of old as I sit and rock by my fire. I'll serve you some cocoa and cookies as I tell you of the time long gone by when your Greats-greats once lived.

AB

Admin = ViM

LYLAS

Mike Judey Dharr Grz Jay

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Comments (7)

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  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarran12 months ago

    Hehehehhe I was so happy when one of the daughters was named Daphne because that's what I name a character that's based on me! Surfer dude seems like a fuckboy, lol. I hope Doris finds a good match on Tinder. Loved your story!

  • Kodah12 months ago

    What a fascinating mix of fantasy and adventure! I love the twist with Doris using tinder! 😂💘🌟

  • Ina Zeneli12 months ago

    I love the underwater world you’ve created! Doris’ curiosity and adventure make her such a compelling character. The mix of romance, magic, and mystery keeps things exciting. Can’t wait to see what happens next!

  • Ian Read12 months ago

    When plan A didn't work... 😂

  • L.K. Rolan12 months ago

    Ohhh no 🥹🥹🥹 not giving up a life with a beautiful voice and frolicking in the sea only to join humans in the awful modern daring worldI love this premise and I love how you put it together. As always, well done ✨

  • That was fantastic! I loved it! I was curious by the photo and the opening how it would all connect and where it would go, and honestly, I became so immersed that I wasn't expecting that at all. I loved the descriptions of everything underwater and the liveliness of the scenes above water with the waves and the surfer, and it was such a great tale of love, even though it turned to sadness, and then perked right back up again! I was really rooting for the main character, and I still am, I'm curious where it would go from there!

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