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Snowflakes

False Salvation

By Desmond ShawPublished 2 years ago 1 min read
Top Story - February 2024
Snowflakes
Photo by Adam Neumann on Unsplash

Flakes of snow insensitively gripped the edge of my jacket with the weight of my emotions. A tunnel of seductive light flooded a path from me to my front door. Low wailing encompassed the space around my dimly lit home while clouds of moisture colored themself from the fixtures of my abode.

One step I took towards what I considered to be my salvation. Sweat bled from my face. The wailing grew with my stride.

Another step, the air around me refused to replenish my lungs. A wall of hot air slammed into my chest. Fabric tore and protested under the weight it bore.

A third step, deafened and confused, I acknowledged the weight that had accumulated on me without distraction. Fabric gave and it dropped on the blanketed ground with a pronounced thud.

I fell. Caught by the very thing I presumed was weighing me down. My bare back lay upon clouds. In such exposed presence of cold, I braced myself for discomfort. However, what I felt wasn't and couldn't be so simply as described. Instead, the discomfort became a comfort.

The Fog that engrossed my thoughts was left behind as what could only be described as my spirit pulled into perspective, presence, and a brief overwhelming feeling of lack of purpose. But, the cold was in me. I was surrounded by the universe. I was a collection of atoms and I had a part in it. Tears welled as I recognized myself In the beautiful, and unique snow.

MicrofictionPsychological

About the Creator

Desmond Shaw

I write for myself here, but you’re welcome to join me.

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insights

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  3. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  1. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  2. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

Add your insights

Comments (14)

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  • Badhan Senabout a year ago

    So Fantastic Oh My God❤️Brilliant & Mind Blowing Your Story ❤️ Please Read My Stories and Subscribe Me

  • From the opening sentence, this story captivates you and takes you on a voyage of self-discovery against the bitter cold of winter. It makes you think about the significance of emotions and the solace that may be found in unexpected places.

  • Anna 2 years ago

    Congrats on Top Story!🥳

  • Aradhana Gupta 2 years ago

    Congratulations. ❤️

  • Caroline Jane2 years ago

    Enormously poetic. Congratulations. ❤️

  • Very well written and congrats on top story!

  • Babs Iverson2 years ago

    Fantastic!!! ♥️♥️💕

  • Salomé Saffiri2 years ago

    "My bare back lay upon clouds" was something that stood out to me. Seems like that's a phrase that deserves it's own story. I was confused by the opening. Particularly this line : Flakes of snow insensitively gripped the edge of my jacket with the weight of my emotions. I can almost grasp the feeling, but each word is individually so loud that I was lost in the clatter.

  • Penny Fuller2 years ago

    The last sentence was stunning. Great work.

  • Ashley Shiflett2 years ago

    Very very beautiful! Congrats on top story!

  • JBaz2 years ago

    You describes this very well, emotion and exceptance. Congratulations

  • Test2 years ago

    Beautiful

  • Toby Heward2 years ago

    Very deep representation

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