Quiet Quitting: If Sisyphus Had Gen-Z Attitude & Outlook on Life

I’ve been doing this for three thousand years. At least that's what I estimate, more or less. Can’t tell more precisely because I lost count of days and nights. With this type of a job, you would too, anyone would. Yes, I have to roll this huge rock up not only during the day but at night, too. Up and down, up and down. I roll it up, almost all the way to the top, it rolls down under its weight and I have to start over.

Such is my eternal punishment. He made me immortal for this. For this! Up and down, up and down, with no end. No bathroom breaks, no food or drink. Immortal bodies do not need nourishment or rest. Did I say He made me immortal for this?? Yes. No sleep. That’s what I miss the most. Oh, what I would have given for a good night’s sleep! I loved sleep when I lived among mortals, and now I can only daydream of it.

See what I did there? “Daydream”! Yes, after a couple of millennia I’ve figured out a way to daydream and take naps. It was hard at first because I was afraid He'd find me out, so I had to be careful. But now I take more frequent naps that are longer and longer.

See, earlier on this job, when the rock rolled down, I used to run for it, trying to stop it mid-way. When I caught it, I tried to roll it back up. Back then, I still hoped that one day (or night) I’d be able to roll it up to the very top and my punishment would be over. At least that’s what He led me into thinking. Or maybe He didn’t, I can’t remember now. It was a long time ago. But He must have promised me that, otherwise why would I have that thought nagging in my mind?

I do remember His name, just don't want to say it to give Him power. Every time someone says His name He can hear it. Perks up, imagining the nasty things He can do to those who "use His name in vain."

He is a trickster just like I am. The rock will never reach the mountain top, I now know it for sure. Wicked Him! I wouldn’t say that knowing this for sure makes my job harder. I just don’t really care anymore.

Now, when the rock rolls down and comes to a complete stop, I sit in its shade and take a nap. Even He cannot watch me every second, especially from the top of His mountain. So, I just prop myself against the rock and take what I call a Power Nap because it gives me the power to trick Him again.

For the first millennium or so, if I tried to slack in any way, He’d send an eagle to snack on my liver (say hello to my great-great-grandfather Prometheus), a wolf to tear off my flesh when I didn’t roll the rock up or a spider or a snake to put poison in my veins for a jolt.

At first, I was terrified of the pain. It must have been my human memory playing tricks on me. But when I realized that my eternal body would heal itself anyway, I learned to block and ignore the pain. I still scream and moan, for Him to believe I’m in pain, but even He can’t tell the difference between the moans of pain and pleasure.

I think He only suspected something once, when He sent a huge ram to push me into action. The joke was on Him: I managed to mount the ram’s horns and got a free ride. The stupid ram thought it was pushing me but in fact it was pushing the rock I embraced, up to the mountain top. He would have carried me there all the way, too, had it not been for His sneaky snitching snake that spies on me. To this day, I think if the ram had taken me to the top, I’d have been rid of my punishment. I could make my case that even though it was the ram who helped me, my ingenuity brought the rock to the top and I therefore met His condition to end this.

Over time, I’ve gotten better with simulating pain when He sends His next torture onto me. I experience no pain now. On the contrary, I find pleasure in knowing that I tricked Him into thinking I’m in pain when in fact I’m just laughing on the inside. They didn’t call me the Trickster for nothing!

I’ve also learned that the weight of the rock is my immortal mind’s trick. When I used to think it was very heavy this punishment wore me down. I dreaded it. Now that I've convinced myself it’s as light as a feather, I actually enjoy it.

When on rare occasion I have an audience, I like to put out a good performance of fake pain and suffering. Like when this fellow Odysseus saw me on his travels, I sweated so profusely and tensed my muscles so hard that my veins nearly burst. And that dust he saw was from me rolling the rock in place, without moving it up. I was digging in, the rock was grinding the mountain into dust. The poor Odysseus fellow was so impressed with my “torture”! I hope he tells everyone about it so that people still remember me.

Many a time now I roll the feather rock not with my hands but with my back and shoulders, moving it slowly up. I imagine myself on a leisurely stroll, just up the mountain with an oversized rock of a feather. This allows me to watch the clouds and guess their shapes. There’s not much more here on the mountain, growing or living, but the cloud watching is fun, good exercise for my brain.

The other day I even started to whistle and sing while I was lazily strolling downhill behind the falling rock. Probably not a good idea but why would I care? What else can He do to me, really?

I’m immortal and if He turns me back into a human I will only rejoice. Meanwhile, I’ll just do the bare minimum at my current job and enjoy it as much as I can, having a laugh or two along the way.