Perspectives

“I was standing in front of my mirror like every morning”, Betty said, “removed my hair, and stared at the red bruises that covered my neck. “It can't go on like that”, I said to myself, so I grabbed my nine year old, packed my bags and ran away.” She stared at the seemingly countless eyes that stared back at her, then stared into the blinking red light of the camera that recorded her. Was she doing the right thing? Before going too deep into that question, Betty cleared her throat and went on, trying not to think about what was happening.

“I've tried to get through with this a couple of times already”, she admitted, “but I've always come back. The threats, they were just too scary.” Then she recognized how a tear formed in her eye and surprised herself as she just let that happen. “He told me he was gonna find me”, she cried. “And that he'd kill me, and our son!” The group then dissolved in outraged gasps, which scared Betty away a bit but also kinda encouraged her to go on. She clearly had all their attention, that was for sure. And she'll have the viewers attention as well, she thought. She could help other women that were still in the terrible place she had been in for so long. So she just needed to do that, needed to overcome her fear of standing up for herself so that others would get the support that she would have needed years ago.

“When I would come back, he's always been even more aggressive”, she therefore went on, her voice brittle but her gaze decisive. “The pain was even harder, and most of all the shame was bigger and bigger every time. The shame that I felt for thinking only for a second that I could ever escape.”

“So what took you to go that step this time?” the young woman sitting across from her asked Betty, looking at her with a calm smile while anyone else was still staring. Betty liked the serenity the woman emitted. “I... um... I just didn't want to live that way anymore. So when the threats started again, I didn't go home but went to the police instead. I told them everything that had happened. Now they're taking care of it, while me and my son have left the state.” “That was very brave of you”, the woman said and started applauding, the whole group following her lead. “Thank you for sharing your story about freedom, Betty”, she says warmly. And from the look in her eyes, Betty knew how seriously she took her project. And she was sure that her story was in good hands. She did the right thing.

“Would anyone else like to tell us their story too?”, Tina asked the group. But nobody answered. Nervousness started spreading in her body. “It has to work, please!”, she thought. She needed these grades. And of course, she wanted to help. All the work she put in organizing that group meeting, finding those people willing to take part in her project, it couldn't have been all for nothing! “Please, someone say anything” she pleaded in her head, staring in the middle of the small room desperately. Next to her were all those different people, sitting on chairs that she had put up in a perfectly round circle. She really wanted this to work.

“I can go next”, Aleem said finally, and all eyes turned from Tina over to him. “So, I've grown up in Afghanistan”, he said and found himself not wanting them to know for a moment. Why didn't he want that? Why wasn't he proud of his origin? It's not like it was any of his fault what had happened in the country he was born and raised in. And he knew that he could indeed be proud of himself, proud of what he had been through without just giving up. So why wasn't he? As he asked himself that question, these terrible pictures shot in his head again. He heard the threatening sound of the bombing again, felt the panic again that he had felt when the whole street would start running in all directions, just wanting to get away from those horrible sounds. Torn away by the mass of people, he reached out for his wife's hand. And he held it for one last time, before a nearby tree blew up in the air and a huge branch hit her right in the head. She fell to the floor within the fraction of a second, her body having been deprived of all its life. Feelings then filled Aleems body that he couldn't even describe, and all he wanted was to disappear, to go with her wherever she was going now. But he knew that he needed to fight, knew that he needed to get out of the country like she has always wanted. So he just ran after all these other people without thinking about it, trying to ban the picture of his dying wife from his head. He jumped on a cart without knowing where it was headed, then found himself on the airport. And then everyone around him was talking about going to the USA, and he knew that was what he needed to do, too. So he fought his way into an unbelievably crowded plane and left everything he had behind. His friends, the rest of his family. He felt bad for leaving them of course, but he also knew that he couldn't help them by staying. At least he was safe now, and he was sure that was all that his parents would have wanted. He knew he was most likely never going to see them again, but the pain that came from this realization was nothing compared to the one he felt due to the loss of his wife. He couldn't safe them anyways, but what he could do was live the life she has always wanted in her place. And that was nothing to be ashamed of, he realized then. So he summoned all his courage and told the story to the group. A heavy lump formed in his throat when he described his wife's death, and when he talked about leaving her he thought that he might need to throw up. But when he was finished, the group applauded again. “Thank you for sharing such a personal story” Tina said, tears filling her eyes.

“I ran away from home because my parents wanted to marry me with this forty year old guy”, Sita said as the applause had subsided again. Her story seemed trivial compared to the one the Afghan man just told. But she knew this wasn't about comparing, and she wanted to tell what she has been through as well. After all, that was what she was here for. She wanted to encourage young girls to do the same thing she did. Of course the way of living that she chose wasn't easy, but it was for sure better than being married to a man that was more than twenty years older than her for the rest of her life. So she spoke directly to the camera while she described everything in detail. How she climbed out of the window one night, having only that small backpack with her that she had filled with as many of her things as she could. How she lived with the friend of a friend of a friend just to make sure her parents would never find her. How she needed to quit school for the same reason and now worked for a lame burger restaurant to make some money at least. “I've always wanted to be a lawyer”, she said with all her confidence. “And yes, I know putting greasy meat patties on a grill day after day doesn't exactly come close to that. But I'd rather fry meat for the rest of my life than cook only one dish for a man I don't wanna be with”, she said and enjoyed how she felt that sentence showing its effects among the group. She had come up with it last night and had known right away that this was how she was going to end her speech. From watching all those court hearings online, she knew exactly how to express herself in a way that made a lasting impression on the ones listening to her. And so when she found this note hanging on the mast of a traffic light on her way home about a young woman searching attendees for a university project about freedom, she thought that's exactly what she needed to do. And she was even more pleased as she red through the note and found out the stories were also to be published online. The more people she could reach, the better. And of course she knew that her parents might see the video, too. Maybe they'd realize what they have done, she thought. Of course she was aware of how unlikely that was going to happen, but all that she could do was try.

Half an hour later, every single person attending the meeting had shared their story. Each one was so emotional, so personal, so pale. Tina felt as exhausted as if she had just finished a marathon, but at the same time she was unbelievably happy. She couldn't even wait for putting the video online, for sharing each of these stories with the world. With a huge smile, she thanked the group one last time and then stood up and placed herself right in front of the camera. “Those were all the stories”, she said, not shying away from showing to the camera how emotionally touched she was. “Thanks for sharing your respects by listening to all of them. I'm sure they all appreciate that. Being free feels way less natural now, doesn't it? Speaking only for myself, I've definitely learned to be more thankful for the freedom that I can call mine today. But what does freedom mean to you? Feel free to share in the comments.” She couldn't help but smirk briefly at her little pun despite all the seriousness surrounding her before she pressed the button and stopped the recording.