Other Worlds

“This is Doctor Schrüt calling for Miss Erin Thompson, your Zoloft prescription is ready for pickup, and will be available in the pharmacy next door after this afternoon’s session. We hope to see you there.”

I sighed, it was already noon, and I hadn’t even gotten up to brush my teeth, much less get ready for my two o’clock appointment later today. Just the thought caused my chest to tighten, my breathing became more shallow and rapid, my pulse thundered in my ears.

Erin, you will get up, you will shower, you will walk out that door and go to therapy.

Speaking sternly to myself never worked, yet I always tried it. Shambling to the bathroom, the face that greeted me was yet another obstacle to face. My gray complexion and dark, tired eyes were the same as they had always been. Lifeless. I tried to turn my sink on to begin my newest version of ‘showering’ and within seconds was drenched from a busted pipe. Wonderful.

The apartment had started falling apart the same time I did. The doors had no knobs, mold was growing in the shower that was never used, what used to be a small deck out back was now a condemned ecosystem for decomposers. Going to the store to purchase all the necessary tools needed to fix everything was too large a feat to even dream of, so I lived with it. However, a broken water pipe was something that would need to be repaired, whether I liked it or not. At least this gave me an excuse to skip my appointment, and stay inside.

Reaching for my phone, my palms began to sweat, and my body began to shake. Someone would have to enter my home in order to fix this pipe. Slowly, dialing the number of the local handy-man my landlord had recommended long ago, I dropped to the floor and squeezed my eyes shut as the first ring burst through the speaker into my ear.

“This is Thomas with Tom’s Handy Helpers, here to help with all your around-the-house needs, how may I help you today?”

The man on the other end of the phone was too cheerful. “Hi, I’m calling about a busted pipe in my bathroom sink. All I did was turn- turn- turn- turn-” Damn stutter, definitely didn’t help my agoraphobia or my social life any.

“Ma’am, not to worry, we can have a broken pipe fixed within an hour, assuming it’s an easy fix of course. I’ll see to your issue personally, and if you aren’t satisfied with your service, the repair is free. Now, all I need is your address?”

“13579 Burchett st, located in Glendale, sir.”

“Great, I’ll see you in an hour.”

Shaking and now more anxious than ever, I couldn’t help but count down the minutes as the hour passed. After no time at all, there was a knocking at the door that seemed to shake the whole house.

There was a man at the door, Thomas I assumed. He seemed a decent man, close to my age, husky, with a full head of blonde hair and kind eyes that glistened in the bright sunlight. Even someone as seemingly welcoming and friendly as that terrified me to interact with. It’s always the attractive ones, the nice ones, that end up being the most cruel. But I didn’t have much of a choice. Hiding myself behind the door, I opened it enough to seem cautiously polite.

“Thomas, from the handyman company, right?” The words felt like salt in my mouth, and I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eyes.

“That’d be me, ma’am, and if I may be so bold, you look even lovelier than you sounded over the phone.”

My face started burning and I couldn’t utter a single syllable of a reply.

“Well, is there any chance of me getting to take a look at that pipe for you, miss, or shall I stay outside?”

I only opened the door further to allow him to enter. As he looked around my house, I suddenly saw the quality of life I had been living in. The piled up dishes, the floors that desperately needed to be mopped, it all added to that burning sensation in my face. Thomas didn’t say anything about it though, just quietly followed me into the small bathroom - the only one in the apartment.

He leaned down and looked at the piping for the sink, mumbling to himself and rummaging through his tools. After a few minutes, he stood back up facing me, slight pink in his cheeks, “Well miss-”

“Erin.”

“Pardon?”

“You- I’m sorry, you keep calling me ‘miss’ or ‘ma’am’, my name is Erin.” What in the world has come over me, I’m never this forward with people.

Thomas smiled at me, with a warmth that seemed to settle my permanently shaking bones. “Well, Erin, the sink simply had a loose bit of pipe that needed to be tightened. However, if you don’t mind me saying, the rest of your house seems to need a bit of fixing up too…” he trailed off, becoming even more pink, suddenly interested in the floor.

Who was this man, and who did he think he was, judging me and my apartment?! Sure, it could use a good cleaning and a few repairs, I thought, but that gives him no right to just bluntly say such a thing! In a flash of uncharacteristic anger, I blurted, “I am just fine thank you! How much do I owe you so you can get out?” Oh my god did I just say that?!

His face drained from pink to white and he snatched up his tools in a haste that seemed unhealthy for a man of his size. He stumbled to the door, stammering out the amount and avoiding eye contact as if I were Medusa and he Perseus. I handed him the forty he requested and watched through the window as he stared, seemingly forlornly, at the door. He stood there a few minutes, causing panic to well up in the cavity just under my ribcage, causing me to turn away from the window. When I went to check a few minutes later, he was gone.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I kept seeing his face, Thomas’ face, the friendly, welcoming warmth that lay in his honey colored eyes. Honey colored? When and more importantly, why did I memorize his eye color? It was driving me crazy, and the mess I had become painfully aware of was not helping the situation. I definitely couldn’t get this place in any sort of decency by myself. Perhaps I had been too assumptive before, perhaps he was trying to be friendly. I’ll call in the morning, and maybe he’ll still be willing to help.

The next few weeks saw more productivity and change in my life than the last few years had. I called Thomas and explained a small amount of my condition, and apologized for my reaction to his offer to help. He agreed, with so much enthusiasm I almost changed my mind. He was a funny man, with a laugh that filled his belly before escaping his lips. Within a few days of work, he would have me laughing the moment he walked in my front door. He cleaned up the mold while I swept the floors and cleared the trash. We sat in an almost gutted apartment, in need of repainting, and still in need of a new deck, when I realized I no longer felt afraid.

“Thomas, I have to thank you. Meeting you has helped me overcome so many more challenges than just missing doorknobs and leaky pipes. Before meeting you, I spoke to no one, I never even left the confines of these walls. The world was too scary, too much of a risk. I can’t help but feel as if we’re repairing this place for someone else entirely, that the woman who lived here has long since departed.”

His eyes glistened in the dimmed lights as his lips formed a small, unfamiliar smile, one I had never seen before. “Erin, really, it’s I who must thank you. Truth be told, I’ve always thought you were the prettiest, most amazing soul I’d ever had the opportunity to lay eyes on. I’m glad I’ve been so helpful, and I hope I’m not being too forward, but I would never forgive myself for missing this wonderful opportunity. Erin,” he shifted, suddenly becoming very serious and looking intensely into my eyes, “I know how you feel about the outside world, but would you ever consider braving the outside to go on a date with me?”

My world spun. How could he ask me such a thing? I panicked. He knows how I feel about leaving, he knows how I feel about dating, he’s asking me to forget the two most important rules that have kept me safe! He’s been so nice to be around but… “I’m just not ready yet, Thomas.” The words are out of my mouth before I can shut it.

He looks defeated, just as he did that first day, the day I yelled at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to press the issue.”

I couldn’t help but feel guilty at his crushed demeanor, “Thomas, you’re wonderful, but the world is just too much for me, I can’t be a part of it. Not for anyone.”

Thomas simply gave me a sad smile, said goodnight, and walked out the door.

The next morning, there was paint on my doorstep, but no Thomas. I repainted the apartment myself for the next four days.

On the morning of the fifth day, when work on the deck should have begun, I walked out to an incredible sight, and an even more incredible note.

In my small backyard, there was a beautiful oak deck, with two cushioned patio chairs and an umbrella between. On the chair closest to the back door was a handwritten note.

Erin,

I understand you’re not ready, and that is okay. I’ve never met anyone as wonderful as you, and I am willing to wait for you to be ready to be a part of my world. Whenever you’re ready, you can find me at 2468 Pasa Glen Drive.

- Thomas

He couldn’t have, I hadn’t been paying any attention to the backyard because I had been painting. That crazy, shameless, wonderful man. I couldn’t keep him waiting any longer. I couldn’t keep myself waiting any longer. I wasn't ready to be a part of the world, but I was ready to be a part of his world. Without hesitation, without a second thought, I grabbed my keys to the newly renovated apartment, and dialed the number for the local taxi company.

I took a breath, looked around my new house, looked at my new reflection in the mirror, and reached for the doorknob, ready to explore a million other worlds.