Orange in a storm
Seeking small tails
Padded paws clamber frantically over fallen limbs, prints hidden mere seconds after her steps.
Scanning and sniffing, her cold ears twitch and turn, but the only howl they hear brings no comfort.
The wind has woken, whipping white dust across her eyes.
Urgently searching, she checks in empty burrows, sniffs under dead trees, and trawls the ice’s edge.
No sign.
The blizzard swirls harder, making it almost impossible to see beyond the few paces in front of her eyes.
Desperation curls at her edges in a way that only mothers can understand.
With all tracks enveloped by snow, fear drives her forward.
The flurries drop for a moment, enough for her ears to snatch the quiet whine away to her right.
There, against the giant boulders, huddled together so tightly it’s impossible to tell where one begins and another ends, lie two bundles of dull-orange fur, shivering incessantly.
Their eyes light up, two pairs of black pinpricks set against the unforgiving white.
She bounds over, no time to scold. Quickly up on shaky legs, gentle nips to make them move, she nudges the two along.
The storm swells, seemingly desperate to hold them.
Three sets of legs leap over frozen rivers.
The tempest shrieks louder, chasing tired tails.
Three sets of legs skitter across icy stones.
The gale sighs, and finally gives up the chase.
Two sets of legs scramble into a den that smells like home, and one weary pair follows.
A grateful mother curls up beside her cubs.
About the Creator
Joe O’Connor
New Zealander
English teacher
Short stories and poems📚
Please be honest- I would love your constructive feedback, as it's the only way I'll get better. Would rather it was pointed out so I can improve!
Currently writing James The Wonderer
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Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
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Comments (23)
You made 250 words do the work of a thousand in this story, Joe! Beautifully rendered!
This is an amazing piece- vivid imagery and a really well-conveyed, gripping sense of desperation! A masterful micro :)
Happy belated placement! I see why this gem was chosen. I love animals and easily became invested. Great work!
I enjoyed the imagery and the anticipation you created in this piece with your short sentences and word choices. Congrats on being a runner up! Well deserved.
I became very invested in their fate so quickly! Really well written!
I was so happy to see your name on the runners-up list! I missed this one. Beautiful imagery, I love how you personified the storm. And the parallelism of the "three sets of legs" was my favorite part as it captures the denouement so perfectly. I never considered a fox having trouble finding her cubs in a blizzard. This feels like insight into a tiny moment of nature. Yet you make it feel so big. Gorgeous work.
Beautifully written. I could see every step, every choice, every trail lost and found, and you made me feel for the family. Thank you. Congratulations!
Great story!
Love the picture and anticipation you created. Congratulations!
Wooohooooo congratulations on your challenge win! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
I was so glad the weary pair followed. I was worried for a moment, & so invested! Nicely done.
Congratulations Joe on your win in the Snow Micro challenge!!!
I remember taking my kids out in the snow when they were smaller, and getting lost in woods - I didnt lose them, I lost us all, and attempting to be jolly and confident as the dark fell and they dragged slower and slower...I was feeling this one!
Powerful imagery! Your writing is exceptional, Joe.
Beautifully and descriptive loved it!!!💕♥️♥️
Gorgeous imagery in this one, good luck in the challenge 😁
Good fortune in the Snow Micro challenge : )
Your descriptivism put me right there, I literally could feel the wind and snow . Well done!
This is so sweet and beautiful, your descriptions are exquisite! Thank you for letting them be ok, there are enough sad stories out there already. :)
Oh I'm so glad they're all okay! Such a wonderful story!
I love this! You illustrate such a rich scene of the fox and her cubs in the snow.
Ah, Joe. This was like watching a nature documentary. Nice.
Impressive 🤩 Keep up the great work!"