Not A Love Story

This is not a love story.

This is not a story where the couple walks hand in hand into the sunset together at the end.

This is not a story of how someone rode in on a white horse and saved the damsel from some great evil. Where true love wins the day and all live happily ever after.

I know those stories. I have read them all my life. I have a library full of them. When I was younger, I would yearn for that kind of love. As I got older, that kind of love seemed even more like fantasy than the dragon the knight fought to get there.

This is my story. For better or for worse, this is me.

The morning that would change my life was like any other day. I woke to the sun attempting to stream through the darkness around me and just enough light reached my face that my body told me to get up.

The fortress around me was quiet for once. Usually I could hear the creaks of the foundation settling or the cracks of the walls expanding in the changing air, but today, it was quiet. I was thankful for that, as it is hard enough to get up, let alone trying to move around with the very building protesting around you.

There was no food that felt appetizing, so I brewed my strongest tea and went on to meet the day.

I walked the fortress as I did every day.

The darkness outside the walls of my home threatened to meander in at strange times and in strange places. If I found it, I would have to do things. Usually, it was a minor inconvenience but others, it would flatten me for the day. That day, the coast was clear.

While I am walking the walls around my fortress, let me tell you about my home. Years ago, there was a catastrophe. A great upheaval that caused a great darkness to come over the land. The Darkness would sink in and cause people to just stop. Just lay down and stop. Some people would not eat, others would not sleep, and even others would not sleep at all.

My reaction to the Darkness was rage. In my rage, things would happen around me. I saw the effect on my rage only afterward and I would spiral low.

For the safety of myself and others, I built my fortress to contain my anger and keep the Darkness out. It was a lonely life, but I had peace.

That day, as I was walking, I saw something that caught my eye. A figure in the distance, walking towards me. I couldn't make out any details, but I could feel a warmth radiating from them that I hadn't felt in a long time.

As the figure got closer, I realized it was a person, and my heart began to race. I hadn't seen another person in years. But as they got even closer, I saw something that made me freeze. They were carrying a torch.

Fire was one of the things that could set me off in a rage. I had to make a choice, stay and risk my safety, or retreat back into my fortress and lose the chance to connect with another human being.

I took a deep breath and stood my ground, hoping I could control myself. As the person got closer, I could see their face, and my heart felt like it was going to burst. They were the most beautiful person I had ever seen.

They introduced themselves as a traveler, passing through on their journey, and they were looking for a place to rest for the night. I hesitated, but I couldn't deny the pull I felt towards them. I let them in and we talked for hours, sharing stories and laughing.

As the night wore on, I found myself feeling something I hadn't felt in a long time. Love. It wasn't the fairytale kind of love, but it was real. It was messy and complicated, but it was love nonetheless.

The traveler left the next day, but we exchanged letters and continued to stay in touch. They taught me how to control my anger and helped me to see the world in a new light. And even though we couldn't be together physically, the love we shared continued to grow.

So no, this is not a love story with a happily ever after. But it is a story about love. Love that was unexpected, messy, and real. And I wouldn't trade it for any fairy-tale ending.