Negotiations must take place.

Diplomacy. What a trifling discipline. Cordial words spoken by two parties with great eloquence, masquerading as figures of earnest character. The trading of bargaining chips and the psychological pressure created by the mentioning of unseen consequences, and the reinforcement of strength in the midst of the chessboard. Bargaining, trading, maintaining relationships, regardless if it be necessary for the endgame goal, or a personal touch, and the ability to outmaneuver your opponent with treachery, or to act earnestly in your dealings. The constant delays, or the ultimatum. Renegotiating for the purposes of fairness, or abandoning the process entirely. Diplomacy. What a necessary evil. A trifling one, but necessary, nonetheless.

It began at the breaking of daylight upon the prelude to the first day of winter. The journey towards the mountains peak was a strenuous and dangerous trail of tribulation and bitter cold, and the lurking creatures were of no comfort. The wolves howl at the moon's arrival upon the sky, an unwelcoming alarm for those who seek the realm of slumber. Such was the price of necessary negotiations. Such was the price of an already resentful gathering.

“The breaking of day is already here, and I’m still just as tired as when I slept. If the darned forest wolves didn’t tear me apart, the wolves I’m gathering with most certainly will,” the dweller in the forest grumbled.

The sun's rays did nothing to warm his skin from the bitter cold of night, and his stomach declared its yearning for warm food. He turned towards his men still lingering in the realm of slumber. “How long do you expect to sleep? What, are you going to squander the day away and risk the meeting at the mountain top? Get up, you lazy buggards! We have a meeting to attend!” the Dweller in the forest declared.

An outstretched hand and a prolonged yawn arose in the air as the men started to return to the waking living. “Aye! Can’t a man get a wee bit o decent shut eye before negotiating with the most heinous sorts? Wouldn’t it be better to rest, then push forward and disregard our own weaknesses?” One of the men grumbled.

“It’s that kind of talk that shows why our enemies haven’t been dealt with already! Why, when I was your age, I was chopping logs, preparing firewood, hunting game, and making breakfast ready before the days work had begun! If you’re already this tired when ya just woke up, it ain’t no wonder as to why our enemies aren’t already defeated! Ya spoiled generation! ‘Can we get a wee bit a shut eye!’ Ha! You’re already defeated with that kind of talk!” The dweller in the forest scoffed.

One of the other men started to stretch forth as he yawned a bit longer than the first. “Aye, and I’m sure you were a perfect laddy for you pa, weren’t ye? Always did what you were told without the slightest question? Always superhuman, right? Never a slight thought o resting in the day when daddy says work needed to be done! I don’t buy into such boasting! You’re just as faulty as we are!” the Second Man argued.

“I never said I was perfect, and that I did everything right! What I was implying, if you would listen to me, is that we had standards! Nowadays you youngings need to have breakfast in bed served to you on the finest silver platter before you will even consider eaten it!” the Dweller in the forest stated.

“I don’t quite care what kind of plate it’s served on, much less the quality! The only standard I have is that if there’s first breakfast, there ought to be second breakfast, quite frankly! Now that’s the kind of standard I would enforce, alongside two large cups o coffee to go with it!” the First man replied.

“Now that right there, are some real standards for your daily living! Second breakfast, and unlimited refills on your coffee!” the Second Man reinforced.

“A fine good morning indeed!” the First Men reinforced.

The third man popped up all chipper and excited like a puppy at the sound of the word, “food.” “Did somebody say, ‘second breakfast and unlimited coffee?’ Why haven’t we got our mugs and creamer out, boys? What are we waiting for?” the Third Man noted.

The Dweller in the forest started to pick himself up. “And how do you suppose to be coming up with the supply for this, ‘unlimited coffee?’ Money doesn’t grow on trees, boys! You entitled generation!” the Dweller in the forest mocked.

“Do you actually think we can drink unlimited amounts of coffee? You’d be given us a heart attack, man! If we’re going to go negotiate, we might as well negotiate second breakfast and coffee in the morning! What better time to learn that kind of negotiation?” the First man argued.

“I agree, second breakfast and unlimited coffee is an absolute necessity for our day to day activities! We need the extra boost of energy!” the Second Man reinforced.

“I would love second breakfast and coffee!” the Third Man stated again.

“There will be no second breakfast, and no unlimited cups o coffee! Break camp and get ready to move forward! the Dweller in the forest declared.

The men started whining and complaining, but grumbled as they followed their orders. Their hearts yearning for a taste of second breakfast, and unlimited cups of coffee.

…

The doors were opened, and the pointy ears of the royal family started to acknowledge their diplomatic guests. A royal red robed elf turned to lay eyes upon the foreign diplomats.

“You’re a lot shorter than we expected. We have coffee and poached eggs on bagguettes, if you would like! All you can eat!”

The first man came up to his dwarven captain who dwelt in the forests ear and asked, “I thought they were our enemies?” the First Man asked.

The Dwarven Captain came up to his ear.

“Shut up…” He scolded.

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