Nana's Song

Nana’s Song

D. A. Ratliff

As I saw the thin ray of sunlight on the sofa, I heard an old song, “Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying,” playing in my head. Overwhelming memories flooded my thoughts of a morning years ago when I walked into this room, the sun glinting on the crewel-embordered silk pillows and couch.

It was a morning just like this. My eyes burned from crying all night, and my chest filled with shattered glass. My life was in tatters, and I fled to my grandmother for refuge. When she opened the door, I collapsed into her arms, crying hysterically. I don’t remember entering the house. I only remember her arms holding me tightly as my body shook from sobbing.

In my defense, I was young. College graduation was days away, and so was my wedding day. My father later said that Lawrence had the decency to wait until after my final exam to break off our engagement. I hadn’t seen it coming. In my excitement, I didn’t notice how distant he had become, and I paid the price.

Slowly, with her coaxing, I managed to tell her what happened. The wedding was two weeks away, and Lawerance and I had planned a quiet dinner to discuss a few minor details. At least, that was what I thought, but dinner never happened. He walked in, said he had something to tell me, and shattered my world.

He accidentally ran into an old flame and realized he still loved her. He had always known she had left a hole in his heart, but thought I could fill it. While he waxed poetically about his true love, pain fueled by disbelief wracked my body. I tossed my engagement ring onto the floor and ordered him to leave. He picked up the ring and left without another word. I never saw him again.

The university was in a town two hours away from my parents’ home in the city, but my grandmother, who I called Nana, lived there. I drove without remembering how I got there. When I finally calmed down enough to tell her what happened, Nana listened, allowing me to release the over-consuming pain. Eventually, she managed to get me to bed, and I slept from sheer emotional exhaustion.

Morning came, and I awoke numb—my emotions spent. I stumbled out of bed and wandered into the living room. A shaft of sunlight peeked through the heavy drapes, casting a golden glow on the crewel botanical pillows and the soft gold silk couch. Nana entered the room behind me, cups of coffee in hand.

“I heard you rise, my dear, and thought coffee was in order.”

“The sunlight is beautiful on the pillows.”

“Ah, sunlight.” Nana walked to the drapes and pulled them back, allowing sunlight to fill the room. She returned to sit beside me. “When I was a bit younger than you, one of my favorite songs, “Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying,” got me through some difficult days. Before I met your grandfather, I also lost the love of my life. Or I thought he was. Turns out I was wrong and that my true love was your Papaw.”

She sipped her coffee. “The night the man who shattered my heart broke up with me, I thought he planned to propose. I read those tea leaves wrong, and I was devastated. I cried so hard that I could barely breathe. Then I heard that song on the radio and took the lyrics to heart. We must go on, my dear. We live in the daylight and save our tears for the dark.”

She had called my parents, and while I waited for them to arrive, I rummaged through her record collection and found the forty-five of the song. A line of the lyrics spoke about how hard it was to accept you were left for someone else, but that love can happen again. It gave comfort, as did the joy that comes with the morning light. I won’t say it was easy, but my grandmother’s words and her song of comfort allowed me to love again.

~~~

Standing in Nana’s living room to the same scene from so many years ago, I felt her loss, but it was time for joy, not tears. I pulled back the drapes and allowed sunlight to flood the room. Eric, my husband, gathered me in his arms.

“I know it’s hard without her, but I remember what she told you so many years ago—tears in the dark, but sunshine is time for joy.”

Nana told me I would find love again, and I did in Eric, the true love of my life. Nana passed a few months ago, leaving her home to me. I knew there were two things I would keep to treasure her always—the silk sofa and crewel pillows and the record of the song that gave us both hope in the dark.

I would never allow the sun to see me cry.

~~~

Written for Writers Unite!'s What Next? prompt.

________________________

“Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying” Performed by Gerry and the Pacemakers. Written by FRED MARSDEN, GERRY MARSDEN, LES CHADWICK, PATRICK MAGUIRE Publisher: Universal Music Publishing Group