My World

Rain continued to pelt against the window of the living room. It was constant. Never ending. To some it was a peaceful sound to the ears that allowed them to forget their worries for that time. To others it was a reminder that the sun never shined again on the city. An empty feeling. It made one crave the simple warmth that was taken for granted ages past. That constant heat which pounded against the back of your neck as you moved about and lived the life you thought you understood.

Gone. It was all gone.

The world changed. It was baptized by machines, rules, and restrictions. Towers grew higher and higher until the sky could be touched by mortal hands. Clouds formed. Rain never stopped. Those born into this life didn’t understand what those that came before missed so dearly. They would never understand why we desired to experience that warmth once more. To feel it against our cheeks and complain about the level of heat we had to deal with.

A sigh escapes me. Eyes turn to the window that is currently closed. Though my blinds hide the neon signs that burn into my eyes; I can still picture the world outside of my home. I can still hear the rain pouring down upon a city that never sleeps. I can feel the cold that creeps inside my home no matter how many times I put on a new shirt or change the temperature to something more stable.

I look to the side. I think. My gaze returns to the tablet resting against my desk. A new article of some sorts. A reminder of my world. Of the chaos I live inside. The troubles that come and the people that vanish without a word. No one remembers them in the end and no one cares to search for them. Just another number in a sea of endless codes.

The rain slows down. My window shutters. It’s a freight ship gliding by to deliver another load of ‘goods’ to the public. After the loss of resources from the most recent aggressions; Governments decided it was easier to send people what they needed. Gone was the way of going out, seeing faces, and buying the food you wished for. It was replaced by more rules. More regulations.

Windows continued to shake. Little bobbles bounced about with the intent to fall over, but they never did. The walls around my home would keep most of the vibrations out. It was just the aftershock of the roaring engines to close by that caused the little things to dance around. Everything became still shortly after. The rain picked up once more. Its dance continued.

Fingers tap against the tablet as I try to figure out what is next on the agenda. Eyes scan over the colored words. It’s like a picture book- The brightest parts are the ones they want you to only focus on.

“Another murder.” I mumble to myself. My voice is tired.

“Another kidnapping.” I sigh softly as my finger flicks across the screen to change the story to something just as gruesome or troublesome.

An ad flashes. It plays, loudly, against the speakers on my tablet:

“Why settle for something less? Why not let your lover know how much you care for them? Come down to Jackson’s Goods- Find the latest in jewelry, gifts,and toys. Show your partner how much they mean to you.”

I usually ignore such ads. It’s just a way for a person to feel better in the darkened world we all live in. A way to buy something in an effort to feel some level of happiness in the gloom. This time though… It is different. I look at the ad. I’m quiet. My eyes can’t glance away from the specific piece it has offered for me to see…

A heart-shaped locket..

Fingers rise for a moment as I reach for something upon my person. They pull my shirt, slightly, to the side and tug against the metal chain around my neck. They touch the pendant I always wear. It’s similar to the one on the ad, but a little smaller. One could argue it was made for someone with a more femine neckline. Those same fingers tremble as they take hold of the little heart-shape locket around my neck. A gentle tug. A shaky sigh.

I shake my head. That grip releases from the cold metal against my body. Fingers slid over to take the mug close to me and force my lips to taste the dark coffee resting inside. It’s bitter. A day or two old and left out for too long. Something else I tend to forget about these days. A hobby that feels more like a chore.

“.... Damn it.” I turn the tablet off. I push it away. I try to forget.

But how does one forget in a world like this? Do they lose themselves to the sounds of the rain against their life. That song the sky plays each and every day without a hint of remorse or any sign of mercy. Do they find themselves lost in a world of machines, shadows, and pleasure. Anything can be found in the city. Anything can be done. It just depends on the cost of your soul and how far you were willing to dive into.

No… None of that appealed to me… Not when I was a child growing into a world that was slowly shifting with the technology it was producing… Not when I was picking my first job in the workshops and foundries… Not while I was-

Fingers felt against the heart-shaped locket once more.

Thoughts changed. Shifted. It was hard to forget about the ones that impacted a person’s life. About those who did anything to experience it all with another. She would never be forgotten. Not in this city of cold steel and flashing lights. Not in this world of technology and fear. She could never be removed from my thoughts. Especially when the world seemed to become harder and harder or when the gloom clung to my form like a shade.

Not while I wore her locket. Not while I touched the metal for a brief moment as it continued to hide from the world around it. Not while I survived in a city that wished I wasn’t a part of it, but kept trying to find ways to keep me in it.

I was grateful she didn’t experience things the way I did. Not anymore. She passed before the world became something foreign to all of us, yet familiar in its own way. She didn’t see the change that was brought upon all of our lives.

But I wasn’t so lucky.

And this was now my world to live into.