My Boyfriend's Google Searvals Are Terrifyingly Sweet

Chapter 1: The Accidental Snoop

I swear I wasn’t trying to invade his privacy. But when you walk into your boyfriend’s apartment to find his laptop open to a search history that includes:

"How to be romantic if you’re awkward"

"Can love languages expire?"

"Why do girls like being called ‘weirdo’? (Asking for me)"

You look. You look hard.

I clicked through his Chrome tabs like I was defusing a bomb. What I found was worse:

March 14, 2:17 AM

"How to tell if she’s your soulmate without sounding crazy"

March 15, 4:38 AM

"Best ways to memorize her coffee order"

March 16, 1:05 AM

"How to cook salmon without burning down apartment (URGENT)"

The last one had a follow-up search:

"Flowers that say ‘sorry for the fire alarm’"

I was still cackling when the door opened.

Chapter 2: The Evidence

Jake froze in the doorway, grocery bags dangling from his arms. His eyes darted from me to the laptop to the half-eaten bag of gummy bears I’d found in his "secret" drawer (labeled: Emergency Snacks 4 Her).

"Babe," he said slowly, "I can explain."

I spun the laptop around. "‘What’s the perfect girlfriend to boyfriend ratio?’ Jake. What does that even mean?"

His ears turned the same shade of pink as the "romantic salmon" he’d attempted last week. "It’s a theoretical question!"

"Next search: ‘How to sound smarter than you are.’"

"See?" He pointed at me triumphantly. "That one worked."

Chapter 3: The Search History Deep Dive

Over wine (which he’d Googled "fancy red wine that looks expensive but isn’t" to buy), we explored his greatest hits:

The Early Days (When He Was Still Trying to Impress Me)

"How long do you have to date before using pet names?"

"Is it weird to know her Starbucks order by heart?"

"What to do if you accidentally call her ‘future wife’ on first date?"

The Slightly Unhinged Phase (When He Realized I Was Keeper)

"How to build a bookshelf for dummies (she has too many books)"

"Can you get drunk on love? (Asking for me)"

"Why do I smile at my phone like an idiot?"

The Recent Desperation (When He Ran Out of Ideas)

"How to propose without a ring (alternative options)" ← This one made me choke

"Best ways to say ‘I love you’ without saying it"

"Do girls like it when you cry? (Asking for a friend who is me)"

Chapter 4: The Confession

I found the most alarming search at 2 AM, buried between "how to cure hiccups" and "why do cats hate me?":

"How to tell her I’ve loved her since day one without sounding like a serial killer"

Jake snatched the laptop away, but it was too late.

"Day one?" I whispered. "The coffee shop?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "You were arguing with the barista about oat milk."

"That was our first interaction."

"Yeah." His grin was sheepish. "I Googled ‘how to flirt with angry girls’ after."

Chapter 5: The Sweetest Ending

This morning, I opened his laptop to a new search:

"How to marry your girlfriend without her knowing (surprise wedding?)"

Below it, in the notes app:

STEP 1: BUY RING (DONE)

STEP 2: LEARN TO COOK (IN PROGRESS)

STEP 3: PROPOSE BEFORE SHE FINDS THIS

I closed the laptop.

And waited.

Want More? Let me know if you’d like:

A steamy alternate version (Jake’s other search history)

Reader Poll ("Should she pretend she didn’t see the proposal plan?")

Jake’s POV (His internal panic during each search)

Tagline:

"Love is stored in the search history." 🔍💘