Misplaced Regrets

Ten years ago, June was admitted to an unknown university in the province, which he felt was already very satisfying. When he was a child, he had heard his father tell a story: a feng shui master asserted after looking at his family's ancestral grave that one cadre and two college students would come out of the family's descendants. And today, he has become a veritable university student. When his admission notice was delivered, the family produced a considerable shock, and at the same time, his uncles began to speculate whose child would be the next university student. He walked into college with this satisfaction.

　　The misplaced regret The rich and colorful life in the university, where the best young men and women gather to form a unique "society", their faces are hanging with the same satisfied smile as June.

　　Behind the rich and colorful life is the emptiness of boredom. Like a noble lady, it is difficult to conceal the boundless loneliness. The direct result of emptiness and loneliness is indulgence and madness. Therefore, June often sees drunken people on campus with bottles of alcohol, shouting painfully the name of the girl who just kicked him away, as well as group fights between boys from the sports department in the dormitory building. This loneliness of course also infected June, the kind of steep sense of loss liberated from the heavy pressure of the entrance exams, so he had nothing to do, he dove into the Jin Yong martial arts novels, to taste Huang Rong's tricky and Little Dragon Girl's flawless white, is to find a piece of the mind to temporarily deposit the place.

　　When the emptiness comes, the heart becomes a wandering ghost.

　　Nicu appeared in Jun's vision when he was fascinated by reading "The Divine Sculptor", Nicu was not very smiley, very dignified, exactly the shape of the Little Dragon Lady, and Jun just somehow fell in love with her. Jun is very good, he is very confident about this. He joined the student council right after he started school, and because of his calligraphy, he became a member of the propaganda department, and because of his long legs and regular exercise, he became a long-distance runner. When he met Nicu, his heart, which also seemed like a wandering ghost, had the idea of stopping. Nicu was also a long-distance runner, and they had several contacts, and Nicu had a crush on Jun.

　　When love comes, it is also a painful genesis.

　　They started as friends, and the seeds of love quietly took root and sprouted. Sometimes, when the loudspeaker in the dormitory sounded: "June, there is a girl downstairs", and the loudspeaker shouted at the janitor, June would rush downstairs in a flash, look left and right, and ask the janitor for Nicu's face. He would point: over there! The old lump in the dormitory was bent over with joy. I was so angry that I cursed in my heart: "You're fooling me! Then run over and give him a chestnut.

　　There is no lintel of high or low, as long as pure love, the love in college can be like this. June and Nicu contact for three months but never asked about each other's family, and there is no need to do so. On weekends, sometimes Nicu would come to Jun's classroom to watch him practice his brush writing, and Jun would write on a blank piece of rice paper, "Take the hand of the son, grow old with the son," and look at Nicu with a smile. But he restrained himself from the impulse. If love was a book and Nicu was the main character, June should read it page by page for the rest of his life.

　　Another weekend, Nicu invited June to her house, and June knew what such an invitation meant. When he walked into Nicu's house, he was surprised to see the luxurious decorations; he could not have imagined from Nicu's usual spending that Nicu would have such a privileged family. Nicu's mother is very enthusiastic about the classmate Nicu has invited, but Jun feels embarrassed. When innocent love meets artificial material comparisons, it removes the self-confidence that was there, and that's what happened to June.

　　It hadn't started yet, luckily everything hadn't started! Without thinking about how much damage this artificial escape would bring to Nicu, June began to plan how to withdraw from the love story that had become impossible in his mind. Thinking of his parents working in the fields, who were still worried about his school fees day after day, and how difficult it would be for him to give Nicu a materially happy family in the future, Jun just backed off.

　　Wrong! Nicu was baffled by Jun's unexplained retreat but refused to ask him about it, and their warmth deteriorated day by day in a cold war. It was too late! When Jun saw another boy around Nicu to coax her, Jun's heart broke into pieces at the loss.

　　After graduation, they went their separate ways and had no more contact. Nicu got married to the guy who always coaxed her, and June got married to another woman and had children. But in his heart, he couldn't forget Nicu. He visited Nicu's city countless times and took the city bus countless times, hoping to meet a surprise one day. However, the sun could not break through the sky of that city, and it always rained in Jun's heart.

　　Ten years later, he inquired about Nicu's unit, and at the entrance, he saw Nicu's picture hanging in the middle of the bulletin board of "Outstanding Teachers", and she was still the same as he remembered, with no pretentious smile, and a face full of sincerity. "If I could do it all over again, I would have said 'I love you! The tears slipped down from the corners of June's eyes as she mumbled these words in her heart.