Maria Finds Her Voice

It was June 7, 2001, the last day of school. Maria walked off the bus at the bus stop, headed for home. and was looking forward to finally being off of school. Her excitement over summer break soon ended however, when Lacey came up behind Maria, taunting her. “Hey afro-girl. What are you doing for summer since you have no friends to hang out with hugh….oh be careful walking home. I’d hate for you to trip over something and break your glasses four eyes.”

“Lacey, just leave me alone, don’t you have better things to do?”

All of a sudden Lacey, full of rage, pushed Maria face down into the mud. Her books went flying. The other children who were getting off of the bus looked at her, snickered, laughed and pointed. Maria quickly picked up her books. Embarrassed and in despair, Maria began to cry, running off from the scene, trying to escape the laughter and teasing. She ran all the way to her apartment, crying and panting, When Maria arrived at her upstairs apartment she flew the door open, and ran into her bedroom, leaving her parents looking on with worry and concern. She slammed the door to her bedroom and screamed. “I hate her! I hate her! I’m never going back to school again!” Maria cried punching her pillow. “Maria, what’s wrong!” Mama called out, running into her bedroom, “are you ok?”

“No Mama, I hate my life, and I hate myself!” Maria screamed, “And most of all I hate Lacey.”

“Oh, that girl, the one that always picks on you?” Mama asked putting her arm around Maria.

“She’s always being mean to me…I hate her….She pushed me in the mud. She’s always calling me afro-girl and four eyes. I don’t get it...what’s her problem. I didn’t do anything bad to her.” Maria cried.

“Sometimes people feel like they have to hurt others, because they themselves are hurting.”

“It’s just not fair Mama, it’s just not fair!” Maria screamed.

All Mama could do was hold her daughter close and comfort her, not knowing what to say that could make her daughter feel better. She decided all her daughter needed was a listening ear, and that talking would not take away the hurt her daughter held in her heart.

Over the next month, Maria spent many days by herself, having no one to talk to, and no friends to spend time with, that is, until she met Chin Sun.

Chin Sun’s parents had just moved to New York from Korea. Maria met Chin Sun at the park one afternoon as she was buying a hot dog from the local hot dog stand. They soon became good friends. They would go to the movies together, enjoy an icecream cone at the local parlor, and play frisbee in the park. Maria and Chin Sung were the best of friends, that is until school started.

Chin Sung started spending alot of time with Lacey. She wanted to be one of the popular kids, and wanted it so bad that she completely forgot about Maria. Instead of sitting with Maria in the cafeteria, for example, Chin-Sung now sat with Lacey, and all of Lacey’s friends, leaving Maria sitting all by herself during lunch. She felt so, utterly, alone.

One day, a couple weeks before thanksgiving, Maria sat on the couch in the living room waiting for her breakfast, and as she did every morning, she fiddled with her curly hair, trying to comb it through with her fingers. She then took a brush out of her book bag and tried to brush her hair. “I'm about to do your hair in a minute honey!” Her Mama called out from the kitchen, just let me get these eggs and chorizo done and I’ll be over there. Maria’s Dad was digging through the closet trying to get the kwanza lights out to set them up for the holidays. “Maria, you want to help me put the kwanzaa decorations and Christmas lights out after school today? We’ll put the Christmas tree up today to.” “Sure Daddy” Maria sighed, “except, I might be a little late coming home…” “Late, why?” Maria’s dad asked.

“Choir practice.” her mom yelled out from the other room “You know she just joined the choir Joe.”

“Oh ya, that’s right. I just about forgot. And my baby girl’s gonna get that solo too.” Maria’s Dad exclaimed proudly.

“I don’t know about that.” Maria murmured “tryouts are today. We’ll see.”

“You’ll do great mija” Mama said lovingly, coming from the kitchen she kissed her daughter on the head.

“Mama, can you straighten my hair for prima Alliana’s Quincenera this weekend.”

“Well, I’ll have to wait mija, it will just get curly again before the weekend if I straighten it too early.” Mama explained.

“I know,” groaned Maria.I wish my hair was straight like the other girls. All the kids in my class make fun of me and call me afro girl. Especially that Lacey girl. She is so mean to me. She always makes fun of me. I hate my hair, and my glasses.”

“There's nothing to be ashamed of Maria, I wear glasses too.” Daddy said

“I know daddy, but they make me look like a nerd.”

“No they don’t honey. They make you look even more beautiful.” Daddy said kindly.

Just then Mama came with the detangler brush and lotion, and started on Maria’s hair. Maria cried and screamed. She hated getting her hair combed out. Her mama tried to assure her that it would be done in no time, and put Maria’s hair in a simple bun.

“Now come get some breakfast Mija” Mama instructed Maria. “And let’s hurry up or we’ll be late for school.”

On the table was Maria’s favorite breakfast, eggs and chorizo, along with some tortillas. She loved the mornings Mama made that for breakfast, and she almost forgot how nervous she was about today being tryouts for choir. Today everyone who wanted to get the biggest, grandest part, in the Christmas performance had to sing before the choir teacher, and only one lucky child would get the part.

Maria was nervous the whole day. By the time the school bell rang, her heart began to pound. She was so scared, that she had to take a deep breath to calm herself. Maria waited nervously in the hallway next to the choir room, where children were lined up to try out for the solo. There were about 5 other children trying out for the solo. One of them was Lacey, who came up after Maria and stood behind her in line. Maria sat there daydreaming, about how great it would be to get the solo in the Christmas performance. Then she wouldn’t feel like a reject. Then she might be known for something more than just the afro girl. She was so busy day dreaming, she didn’t realize it was her turn to sing until Mrs. Jones, the choir teacher called her name. “Maria, it’s your turn honey. Come on.”

Maria nervously entered the classroom, and took a deep breath again, to calm herself. “Go ahead Maria. Sing me something.’ Maria began to sing the song that they were going to sing in the performance-silent night, in spanish. “Noche, de paz, noche de amore….” she began. Maria gave it her all, putting her whole heart into the song. Maria’s teacher looked at her in amazement after she was finished. “Such a beautiful job Maria. Very well done. You're definitely good enough to perform, but I still have one more to listen to. I will definitely let you know something by tomorrow.”

“Thank you Mrs. Jones” Maria said smiling, as she exited the choir room.

The next day Maria was nervous again. She couldn’t focus in class, wondering if she had got the solo. Then it came time. That fateful moment when she would find Mrs. Jone’s decision. She stood up in choir practice with the others, hoping and praying that Mrs. Jones would announce her name as the one who earned the solo in the Christmas performance.

“Lacey, would you step forward please. You are going to sing the solo part in the performance next month.” Maria’s face fell. She had sung her heart out, had tried her very best, and it still was not good enough. Maria struggled to get through choir practice that day. She was so angry with Lacey she couldn't even look at her. Everybody notices lacey. Never me” she thought to herself.

One day Marias mom asked her to bring a plate of Tamales down to Ms. Riley, who lived in the downstairs apartment. Ms. Riley lived all alone. Her husband had passed away 2 years ago, She still grieved over Mr. Riley, and also, her own health was failing her. She just had back surgery and many days was too tired to cook for herself. Having no family around, Mama was nice enough to bring her frozen dinners once a week that Ms. Riley could just heat up in the oven. But today, Mama figured she would bring her over some fresh tamales she had just made. She always made Tamales around Christmas time anyways, that she would bring to friends and family.

Maria knocked on Ms. Riley’s door. “Ms. Riley, it’s Maria.” Ms. Riley walked slowly over to the door, and opened it slowly, trying to balance herself on her cane. “I brought you some Tamales my Mama made for you.”

“Awe, thank you so much Maria. That was so sweet of y’all to think of me. Why don’t you come on inside and I’ll fix you a glass of tea.”

“Well, ok,” Maria said “but.... I can’t stay long. My mama and I are going shopping in a little while, so I can buy a dress for the Christmas concert.”

“Oh. Your Mama told me you were trying for a solo. Did you get the solo?”

“No,” Maria said sadly.

“Looks like you need a glass of iced tea to cheer you up. Come sit down dear.”

Maria went to sit down, and began to talk to Ms. Riley about everything that was going on in school. Ms. Riley had always been a good friend to Maria, someone that Maria could trust.

“Everything will be ok dear. You just have to find your voice. And don’t let the hatred of others take that voice away.”

“I know Ms. Riley, I just feel like everyone just knows me as the afro girl. I feel so left out. All the kids in my class have straight hair. My hair is curly and thick. My skin is darker than everyone else’s. I look different. And kids make fun of me.” Maria said with tears in her eyes

“And what’s wrong with being different.? Your curly hair, you're beautiful dark skin, your dark eyes, everything about you is so pretty. But what makes you beautiful is your heart. Don’t you think the world would be so boring if everyone had the same hair, same skin color, same eye color. It’s the difference that makes us beautiful. What if a rainbow was only one color? Could you imagine such a thing. What if there was only one type of flower in the world? How boring would that be. But it’s our variety, it’s our differences that make us who we are, that make us beautiful. Don’t let other people’s hate make you stop loving others. You keep being the kind, loving, beautiful girl that you are, and when others see you, maybe they will be inspired to do the same. It’s not more hatred that stops hate, Maria, it’s love. ”

Maria smiled. She knew that Ms. Riley was right. “Thank you Ms. Riley. I will. I have to go meet my mom now. Thanks for the tea.” Maria said, giving Miss Riley a hug.

The day before the performance Maria saw Lacey walking to the bus stop to come home from school. On the way to the bus stop Lacey suddenly tripped over another child’s leg. Her books went flying, and she fell face first into a mud puddle. Everyone began to laugh. The most popular girl in school was laying face first in the mud. Everyone snickered and pointed, everyone except for Maria. She remembered the words that Ms. Riley had told her, and feeling sad for Lacey, Maria stooped down next to Lacey, stretching out her hand to her. “Are you ok?” Maria asked kindly.

Lacey looked up at her and grabbed her hand. Maria helped Lacey to stand back on her feet, and then helped to pick up her books. “Come on,” Maria urged “maybe we have time to get to the bathroom before the bus comes and you can wash the mud off your face.”

Lacey shook her head, with tears streaming down her face “okay.” Lacey said quietly as they walked together to the bathroom. Neither of them said a word.

In the bathroom, after Lacey cleaned up her face, she looked over at Maria, looking confused. “Why did you help me? I’ve always been mean to you. Why would you want to help me?”

“Well,” Maria began, “a friend of mine told me to keep being who I am, to keep being loving and kind, and when others see me, maybe they will be inspired to do the same. I could have been mean, cause kids here have been mean to me. But it’s not more hatred that stops hate. It’s love.”

Lacey looked at Maria and stood silent for a minute. ‘Maria, I need to tell you something. After I moved to this city with my mom, we had to move in with my Ant Ginger. We were very poor. I didn’t have any good school clothes to wear, and kids use to be very mean to me. They would make fun of me because of what I wore. And it made me so mad, that i decided that the only thing that would make me feel better was to be mean to other kids before they could be mean to me. I didn’t want to be pushed around anymore. So i became mean. I’m sorry I’ve treated you so bad Maria. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was me. I want you to have the solo Maria”

“What do you mean??” Maria exclaimed “you’ve been looking forward to singing the solo in the performance for almost a month.”

“Yes, but I’ll talk to Ms. Jones. I want to give the solo to you. You deserve it more than I do.”

Just then Lacey ran out of the bathroom, while Maria stood there stunned to silence.

Ms. Jones did accept Lacey’s request, after much urging and pleading. The night of the christmas concert finally came. When it was her turn to sing, Maria nervously looked at the crowd of people, and was paralyzed with fear. Just then Lacey tapped her on the shoulder and whispered. “You can do it Maria. Go.” Maria tried to not think about the hundreds of people looking out for her. Now was her chance, her chance to make her voice heard. She sang Silent Night in spanish. She sang with all of her heart and soul. When she was done the whole crowd stood up, clapping and cheering. Maria beamed brightly. It was the best day of her life so far.

After the concert Mama walked up to hug her. “You did it Maria” Mama said

“Did what Mama? “ Maria asked, gazing lovingly at her mother

“Maria, you mija, have found your voice.”

And she certainly had,

The end.