Love maybe he was tired and should have rested long ago

My father is gone, my father's tenacious life clock, fixed at 10:30 a.m. on April 6, 2022.

My father went away, peacefully, his eyes closed tightly, without the slightest expression of pain. The night before, my father's condition worsened and the pain became more severe after the cancer spread for more than 10 days in a row. My father, who had always been strong, suffered unbearable pain and moaned throughout the night. At midnight, a large pool of fluid gushed out of his mouth, and then his whole body curled up on the bed in a limp state. In the second half of the night, he stopped moaning and moving, his body and mind were extremely tired and seemed to be wandering on the border between the yin and the yang ......

I hoped for a miracle. So I scrubbed his body, served him to lie down cleanly, and prepared to feed him "Qi and Blood Oral Liquid" to drink. But he said in a very faint voice that he wanted to eat nothing today. I knew he had fought against death all night last night and had lost all his vitality, so he had no more desire for life.

After dawn, he signaled me with a gesture: he wanted to go to the toilet. At this point, although my father was conscious, he could not move his feet, and could only move his body with the external force of my mother and me. After squatting in the toilet for some moments, I carried him to bed with difficulty and changed his diaper, and then my father lay quietly on the bed, not moving a muscle.

At about 10:00, my brother and I put him in the wheelchair and pushed him outside to the courtyard to enjoy the sun. After I pushed the wheelchair around the courtyard for about 10 rounds, there came the faint sound of my father snoring. We were all worried that his snoring was not a good sign, so we kept calling out to him. But he didn't respond in the slightest. My sister-in-law tried to pinch his pulse, but she couldn't feel even a thread of it. I hurriedly asked my brother to call and asked my second sister-in-law to buy whips and paper money to prepare for the burning of gas paper ......

I hastily informed this situation on the phone when the doctor's classmates, doctor classmates rushed to come, he took the pulse after listening to the diagnosis, shook his head, and helplessly whispered "the old man is gone, please mourn!

Just after the doctor's words, the daughter-in-law, who was waiting on the sidelines, held her father's hand tightly, shaking it and crying, not wanting to believe that her father had just gone. But the father could no longer hear the true call of his children!

It was 10:30 pm, the sky was clear, the sun was shining, there was no wind, and the whole world seemed to be in a quiet and lonely posture, for a hard-working, frugal, loving, and kind 84-year-old man to make a final farewell.

Father is gone, leaving us forever!

My father left us on the most beautiful April day on earth when the seed pods were at their fullest when the pea pods were at their sweetest, and when the bamboo shoots were just emerging behind the house he tended with his own hands.

Father is gone, no longer see his hands to build a small farmhouse in the group of Cui, flowers, fruitful, bamboo swaying scene; no longer see his hands planting melons and vegetable vines climbing on the fence wall, proud of the wind and rain, the air forgiveness; no longer hear the chirping birds, chickens, and geese happy sound.

Father is gone, the world can no longer see a kind old man, with a homemade cart pulling his old companion, stumbling in the streets of the market town of the warm picture.

My father is gone, my children can no longer hear my father's kind teachings, no longer see my father's diligent work, and no longer can I coo with my old father when the old wine, watching his face wrinkled to taste the bittersweet taste of life.

My father left, wh concern, reluctance, with some doubts. From the end of February to the beginning of April, when he accepted his fate, from the treatment in the township hospital to the expert consultation in the county people's hospital, from the infusion of nine bottles of medicine a day to the swelling of his hands and feet that prevented him from using the medicine, my old father supported himself for more than a month on an empty stomach without eating any food, and we did not dare to tell him the truth about his lung cancer until his death.

During the nearly 40 days of life countdown, my father showed his unparalleled resilience and tenacity in his bones. At the beginning of his illness, my father had a premonition that the big day was coming. As the eldest son, I always came to see my parents now and then. I didn't expect that when I came to see them again after only four days, my father was already lying sickly in a recliner. The first thing he said when he saw me was "I'm dying, after I die, just ask the Taoist priest to knock one night on the line, you brothers should not quarrel with each other". Hearing him say this, I suddenly sank in my heart and quickly reassured him that the words of the old man are too early, you have to live well, step over eighty-four years of age this year, and strive to live beyond the age of ninety.

I was thinking, when I came to see my parents on February 27, they were fine, how come only four days later, my father became so sickly? Was the old father hiding his very serious health condition? Or did he not want his children to worry about him and pretend like nothing was wrong?

Alas! It is only our children's fault for being too careless. My father is a very introverted person, and never easily shows his happiness, anger, and sadness.

In essence, this is not unrelated to the environment in which my father was born and raised. My grandfather was quite famous, in the late Qing Dynasty, he was a fifth-ranking county official, and was locally respected as the "Grand Master"; my grandmother was also born in a prestigious family of ladies, and whenever she went out to visit friends or relatives, she hired a sedan chair to go in. In my grandfather's generation, the family's fortunes fell, but with the financial support of my maternal grandfather's family, my father was able to complete his high school education in a private school. This is the father's generation, but also some of the literary and ink skills. But grandfather grew up spoiled, weak, and sickly, and died too soon, which caused his father's cold and stubborn, weak temperament. It turns out that he only wanted to revive the family business, to continue the family landscape. But bad luck, limited ability, and good wishes are difficult to achieve, and over time, they became silent and depressed. Every mood upset, when things are not happy, always say nothing, silently carry. Only when his granddaughter or grandchildren are happy, only to show the rare side of pursed lips smile. Even with his cheerful and optimistic partner, who has been with him for more than 60 years, it is difficult to see the happy and cheerful look of his old father. But his dependence and concern for his partner is something that his children cannot replace. Especially during his illness, his mother's warmth, care, and companionship became the spiritual pillar of his father's last life journey.

My father passed away peacefully. Perhaps he was tired and should have rested long ago. He chose a good season, a good time, and chose to say a final goodbye to his loved ones and to the courtyard he had worked so hard to build, brick by brick, at the entrance of his home!

My father is gone, now lying quietly beside the newly built garden at the eastern foot of Huangshan Tou on the border of Hunan and Hubei. The afternoon of the day after my father went up to the mountains, a nine-step gale wrapped with pouring rain, came. This long-awaited timely rain is sent by God for a dear and respectable old man, playing the most beautiful music! It is also for a loving old father, a lifetime of hard work of the old agricultural workers, to the noblest life salute!

Farewell, beloved father! Your face and face will live forever in the hearts of your children! Your pure and noble qualities will be the spiritual wealth of future generations forever!