Lost in Space

“Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. What they don’t tell you is that the scream has to be outside your own head for it to go unheard. The vacuum absorbs all external sound, but when the sounds come from the screeching in your mind and soul… from the realizing, for the first time, that your mortality isn’t just some sick joke… well, that’s when you can hear sound in a vacuum.”

“But I digress. Screaming in space… you’re probably wondering where in the seven hells such a statement comes from… and that makes two of us. You see, I always thought that, when exposed to the nothingness of space, that my body would rapidly decompress and explode. Thankfully, that didn’t happen… At least, I don’t think it did… I suppose it’s possible that I could be talking to you from some sort of afterlife. I’ve never really believed in the afterlife though, so I’ve no clue how I would’ve gotten in.”

The scratching of a pen on paper continues as I ramble on, occasional grunts to let me know that my words are being heard sounding in the otherwise silent room.

“But yea… So, if I didn’t explode, and I’m not dead, I guess that everything I thought I knew is a lie… or something.”

“And why do you say that, James?”

“I dunno…. Maybe because you picked me up… without a space suit… in the middle of nowhere… in space… is any of this ringing a bell, Greg?”

“I do recall your recovery… I understand your confusion… we’re all confused… you see, you’re not the only person we’ve recovered… but you are the only person to survive.”

“You see! That, there… There is no way I could possibly be alive, right? I exploded… just like everyone else…”

“Well, not everyone exploded… but you are the only survivor.”

“How?”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out… it’s why we’re here, talking.”

“Nobody can survive being tossed into space without a suit or a pod!”

“And up until a week ago, I would have agreed with you…”

“Why me? Why not Todd… or Angie… or Justice…”

“Who can say? Right now, I need you to go over everything you can remember, and then we’ll go from there.”

“Right… right, yea… I uh, I just need a second.”

“Take your time.”

“So, we were cruising through Sector 11… it was a routine delivery… Our crew had 98 people… 98, Greg… and I’m all that’s left. Are you sure it’s just me?”

“We’re sure, James. I’m sorry, but you’re the only survivor. Please, continue… you said it was a routine delivery?”

“Yea, yea, it was. We got the uranium from Planet #6879 in Sector 10 and were delivering it to Sector 12… we should have been arriving… yesterday, I guess… We didn’t… We never arrived.”

“Yes, before your ship lost communication capabilities, your captain sent out an SOS… we responded.”

“Right. Right. The Temptress, that was our ship’s name… she was my first assignment, you know? For most of my team, she was our first assignment. Our Sergeant hand picked us from the academy… This was our, my, Angie, Todd, and Justice, it was our first flight. Everything seemed routine until we reached the edge of Sector 11… then we were surrounded by a group of unidentified vessels… The captain sent out an identification request, but they ignored us, so he had us on standby. We were preparing to be boarded…”

I pause as my eyes grow misty; the memories are bombarding me as I analyze the situation, wondering where we went wrong. What could I have done differently? Would it have mattered?

“Were you boarded?” asks Greg gently, guiding me from my spiraling thoughts.

“I… Not exactly? Not the way you’d expect…”

“How so?”

“They shot the side of our cargo bay… right near where the stores were, almost like they knew exactly where the stores were located… And then they… I don’t know, if we were planet side, with normal gravity, I’d say they basically just cliff dived over to our ship, right into the hole. We were in the loading bay, so we watched from the broadcast screens. The sergeant had ordered us to hold our position at first, but once we determined what they were after, he ordered us to suit up… it happened so fast…”

I pause again as everything comes rushing back, the feel of the side of the ship as it blew out, the suction of space as we were vacuumed out, the horror that ran through me as Angie suffered from rapid decompression…

“You didn’t make it to the suits, did you?”

“No… Angie managed to get hers about half on before the explosion hit. The alarms… I remember them blaring… Then the captain’s voice as the last of the air escaped. He was calling for everyone to abandon ship due to catastrophic failure.”

“And your team had already been ejected into space from the force of the explosion, correct?”

“Yes… I watched as the Sergeant’s face turned blue… I don’t know if it was from the cold or the lack of oxygen… it was so cold, Greg… I’ve never been that cold in my life. Then Justice… he was my best friend, y’know? We grew up together… attended the academy together… we got our first assignment together… I really thought, at that point, that we were going to die together too…”

“But you didn’t…”

“No, I didn’t… but he did. Then there was Todd… He lasted longer than the rest… I almost thought he was going to be alright… but after, I don’t know, days? Was it days? Or hours? Weeks?”

“Days… four Earth days from the time the SOS was sent until retrieval…”

“Well, I recon it was about two days before he succumbed… maybe he was like me? What am I? Am I even human?”

“We can’t say for certain yet… they’re running tests on the blood and tissue samples you provided… I can have them take samples from…” he glances at his clipboard, “Todrick Amberson… to see if we can discover anything.”

“Yea, that’s probably a good idea… you recovered everyone, right?”

Greg hesitates a moment, inspecting me like he wants to know if I can handle whatever new hell he’s about to uncover.

“We recovered most of the crew… there were a couple of people missing…”

“The fire really did some of them in, huh?”

“Perhaps…” he says noncommittally, making me frown. “So, tell me what happened. Were you still conscious when the captain and crew who made it to the pods escaped?”

His question has me shuddering.

“Yea…” I swallow as the horror of what I saw consumes me once more. “I saw the pods eject, all down the sides of the ship… you’d think that the pirates would be happy just getting the load, right? But they weren’t… it was almost like they had some sort of vendetta. They sent out their fighters, and they shot every. Single. Pod. No mercy. Nor survivors… I bet if they realized that Todd and I weren’t dead yet, they would have finished the job. No witnesses.”

“Probably, James, probably. How are you feeling now? Is anything abnormal, physically?”

“No… well, maybe? Yes? I don’t really know, Greg… nothing feels the same. You said I was in space… in a vacuum… for four days. No food. No water. No heat. No air. I’m sure that changed me, but I couldn’t tell you how… I… I’m not hungry, not really, but I crave food. I feel like I’m starving, and like eating is a waste of resources all at the same time. And my throat is constantly dry, no matter how much I drink.”

“I see… and how has your temperature been? You were quite chilled when we recovered you.”

The bitter laugh that escapes me seems to startle us both, but I just shake my head and answer him.

“I’m always cold. It’s like nothing can heat me up. I keep taking my temperature, though, and it’s a balmy 98.9 ° Fahrenheit.”

“I see… and have you addressed your concerns with the med-team?”

“Yea… they say that everything looks normal… we’re all at a loss. Do you have any ideas?”

“I’m afraid not, but my job is just to gather your report and thoughts on the situation… people more qualified than me will look further into everything to help out.”

“Right… yea, that’s probably for the best, isn’t it?”

“Likely. Is there anything else you want me to add? Anything at all?”

“Not really… that’s all there is, really… once everything settled down, I just floated there, alone with my thoughts. Todd and I hung as close as we could to each other, pushing off from the debris until we could grab one another, but after a while, he faded too, and I let him go so I could just float, waiting for my end as well… but it never came…”

“No, it didn’t. I know this likely fixes nothing for you, James, but I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason… you were meant to survive this.”

“You’re right, it doesn’t help. But thank you anyhow, Greg. I’d like to be alone now, if that’s ok.”

“Of course. If you need anything, anything at all, you know how to find me.”

I watch numbly as Gregory Schmidt stands and exits the room to which I’ve been assigned, a pensive frown on his face. After a few minutes, I release the breath that I didn’t realize I was holding, and lay down.

What is wrong with me?

There is nothing wrong with you, young one.

The thought startles me. It’s inside my head, but the… voice? It’s not my own.

Who are you? I demand.

The only answer is an echoing laugh that leaves my ears ringing. Unsettled, I close my eyes and force myself to sleep.