Like Letters Written in the Sand Part Fifteen

“I miss the little things most.” Anna-leis hugged Clarence tightly. Though she still struggled with the prosthetics, sometimes standing was worth it. “I miss the feeling of sand beneath my feet. “It’s funny how something that used to annoy me now makes me smile.”

Clarence remained silent, letting Anna-leis express her pain. He was glad he was able to be there for her, both figuratively and literally, when she needed to vent. Even though he couldn’t take her place as much as he would have liked to, he could still be there for her.

“I miss the cool feel of the wood flooring under my feet as well. Of course, I miss the bigger things too, like running and dancing.” Clarence smiled at her.

“Who says we can’t dance now?” Anna-leis asked.

Her shoulders slumped as she sighed. The circumstances. I’m a double amputee.”

“I know sweetheart, but we can work it out.”

I can’t walk more than a few feet without assistance. Simply standing requires me to lean on you.”

He took Anna-leis in his arms. “I won’t let you get hurt.” he promised.

Anna-leis nodded, letting Clarence take her hand. She trusted him, that had never been a question. Trustworthiness was one of Clarence’s best qualities.

It would be nice if I could give you the feeling of the sand beneath your toes, or the coolness of the hardwood floor beneath your feet when you wake up, but I can’t, what I can do is let you dance.” Clarence said, holding onto Anna-leis.

Clarence, I know you would if you could, and I’m sorry if I don’t sound grateful for everything you have done. It isn’t my intention to sound ungrateful.”

“You don’t sound ungrateful Anna-leis, but you are allowed to express what you are feeling. It’s important to me that you feel comfortable venting to me.”

“I do Clarence, and I feel safe in your arms.” Anna-leis said. He was truly the first person she felt safe with. Anna-leis had been so hurt by her parents, trust was hard for, but Anna-leis trusted Clarence, because he had earned it over the years they had known each other.

“You complete me.” Clarence breathed in her scent, a mixture of herbal shampoo and rose water perfume. Even her scent was one of beauty.

A soft Country love song was playing on the radio, and Anna-leis and Clarence grew silent. The evening was perfect. It was Clarence who made Anna-leis forget all the bad things that had happened to her. Anna-leis was able to get lost in the blessings with Clarence.

“Thank you very much.” Anna-leis said, resting her head on Clarence’s shoulder.

“For what?” He asked.

Every day you remind me how blessed I am, for reminding me that I have a life worth living.”

“You do the same thing for me, Anna-leis,” Clarence said. Helping her into a patio chair on her back porch. Despite not saying anything, he could see the pain in her eyes, and knew she needed to sit down.

“I don’t know if I will ever be able to walk without assistance.” Anna-leis sighed in frustration. “I don’t know why I thought I’d be doing better by now.”

“Sweetheart, you are too hard on yourself.”

“What if it never gets better?” “What if I’ll never get past a few yards?”

It doesn’t matter what happens, Anna-leis, I will always be here for you.

Clarence, I know I can count on you, but I’m worried about you being able to count on me. Scars run deep in my heart.”

“I know, sweetheart.” Clarence said softly, gently squeezing her hand. “But you are healing, and I will be there for you every step of the way.”

“Thank you Clarence, because I couldn’t have done it alone.”

Look at what you survived, sweetheart, I don’t know how you are blind to your own strength.”

The only reason I made it was because you were there for me every step of the way. It was nice of you not to leave me alone when I asked, and I am grateful for that. Now that you are my husband, I feel blessed.”

“I’m the one who is blessed.” Clarence replied. “It took me years to convince you to be my wife. As soon as we were married, I knew I was the luckiest man in the world. No one could convince me otherwise.”

Anna-leis smiled as he reached out to grab her hand. Clearly exhausted, Anna-leis slowly stood up, leaning heavily on Clarence. If you allow me, I will carry you.” Clarence replied. Despite being exhausted, she felt good being in Clarence’s arms.

“I find it difficult to admit that I need help so often. As a rule, I do things on my own.”

We all need help from time to time, Anna-leis. It doesn’t make us weak; it makes us human.”

It took me some time to accept that, and I still struggle with it sometimes. I was made to believe I was weak.”

“That’s not you, it never has been.” Clarence said. “I wish you would see that.”

“I’m doing my best.” sighed Anna-leis.

It’s not your fault, sweetheart.”

The fault lies with your parents, if you can call them that.

She rested her head on Clarence’s shoulder. It’s not going to be easy, but I want to give a child what I didn’t have, I want to adopt. I know it won’t be easy, but I’d like to try.”

A smile spread across Clarence’s face. “You will make a wonderful mother.”

To Be Continued..

Copyright ©️ Michelle R Kidwell

August.10.2022, Revised May.11.2023