Lifetimes

Jimmy

I know I'll be risking my life if she chooses to run away with me, I think to myself as I sit on my bed in a shack barely big enough for me much less my mama and daddy and me but we somehow make it work. I hear mama knock on the door as she softly says sweetheart? I made you something to eat, come have supper with your father and I, she knows I haven't eaten much since the letter came about 3 days ago, mama and daddy don't know about everything that's in the letter just that I've been called to serve.

I take a deep breath and try to gather myself because I know my mama will be able to read my emotions all over my face, she's always been good at that, its always creeped me out just how much she can figure out just because my nose may wiggle the wrong way but she says its a superpower all mama's get when they're babies are born.

I walk to the makeshift door and swing it open as I smile at her and say yes ma'am she smiles as her and I walk to the table and I sit down across from my dad where he has made himself comfortable and is already almost done with his bowl, mama slides a bowl of chicken and rice in front of me and I smile and say thank you mama, she pats my cheek softly as she says anything for mama's baby now eat! I can't have you going to fight looking like skin and bones!

I chuckle softly as I put the spoon in my mouth and let the flavors dance across my tongue, I know whatever happens after today I'm gonna miss mama's cooking. I watch dad out of the corner of my eyes as he motions for mama to get him more and she scrapes the pot on the stove clean for him but my heart breaks as I watch the light leave her eyes because this means she spends another night going hungry again and my jaw tenses up as she turns and tries to give me a nod of reassurance as my dad looks at me and says so boy you gonna serve huh? Just like your old man. I nod a bit as I say will I don't think I've been given much of a choice.

His eyes connect with mine as he says son its an honor to serve this country no matter the circumstances, you should be grateful you get to do it and the fact that Mr. Walker the general asked for you personally you should be honored!! I shake my head as I ask dad do you even know what side Mr. Walker is fighting on?! He slams his hands on the table making mama about jump out of her skin as he yells IT DON'T MATTER SON THE GENERAL WANTS YOU TO FIGHT SO YOUR GONNA FIGHT!!

I push my chair to the side of the room as I say you know what mama eat mine, I'm not hungry and I want it to go to waste, before she could fight me on it I walk out slamming the door behind me and walks to the start of the tobacco fields Mr. Walker owns and sit at the top of the hill and light up one of the hand rolled cigarettes that I always stole from dad as I see horses coming up the walk way to Anna's house, I shake my head as I bring the cigarette to my lips and let the smoke cover me.

I watch the sunset over the mountains as the rest of the workers turn in for the night, I can't help but to wonder what Anna's choice is gonna be, if I'm gonna see her tonight until I get the gut sinking feeling that someone is behind me and it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Dread overcomes me as I hear Jimmy Thomas? I turn slowly to see Mr. Author standing there with his hand on his pistol and I can't help but to scoff a bit and shake my head, My family and I used to work for his daddy so we've been dealing with Mr. Author for years especially since he started his courting of Anna, I know all of his intimidation tactics a little too well.

I barely look at him as I let out a puff of smoke and ask what can I help you with Mr. Author? I hear him moving closer as he tries to tower over me and he asks I hear through the grape vine you've been sweet on Ms. Anna? I sigh as I stand up to meet his eyes, we ain't much taller than each other so I don't know what his plan was for trying to tower over me. I look him in the eyes as I say I don't believe that's any of your concern.

I snuff out my cigarette and go to walk away as he grabs my arm and pulls me back in from of him and tightens his grip as he says I do believe it is when it comes to someone trying to make moves on something that belongs to me! I chuckle humorlessly and say Mr. Author, Ms. Walker is a person with a heart and soul and brains, she requires love she's not an object to be owned and the fact that you can look at a woman as beautiful as her and think that she is anything less than a Goddess who deserves to be worshiped just proves to me that you don't deserve her.

He looks at me as his expressions goes from stone to almost sinister as he asks and have you worshiped her? I yank my arm from his grip and say again I don't believe that's any of your concern good day Mr. Author. I shake my head again and walk away until he yells AND YOU THINK YOU DESERVE HER? WHAT LIFE COULD YOU POSSIBLY GIVE HER? YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO GIVE HER THE THINGS SHE'S USED TO!!

I turn to him and say Mr. Author as I've stated the relationship between me and Ms. Walker is none of your concern but even if it was I'm not in the market to give her the things she's used to, I want to give her a life! room to breathe beyond that house! I want her to know that there is more in this world other than the hills of tennessee! I want her to know that she's safe to be herself and she can't do that here! With me she has choices! She has the opportunity to have a full free life!

He chuckles as he asks and what does she have with me other than money? I take a deep breath and ask him you really want my opinion on that? He shrugs as he says with tone in his voice I wouldn't be asking if I didn't I sigh and say with you she has obligations, obligations to her parents, to you, to society. She'll have to keep this persona as the perfect daughter, perfect wife with no freedom, just supposed to be happy if her husband doesn't hit her or cheat on her. She'll become like her mama and all the women before her in this society acting like they are happy to have it all when in reality they are miserable, and are getting high to make it through the day and she don't wanna live like that.

You may have all this money Mr. Author but money comes with a price and that price is gonna be Anna's sanity. We stare at each other in silence until I turn to walk away and that's when two other men pop out from behind the trees and my eyes widen as I try to run until I feel my body connect with the ground and the sound of cuffs tightening on my wrist as I hear well Jimmy it don't matter what you want or what Anna wants your gonna follow General Walker's orders and your gonna serve rather you like it or not and Anna is gonna be mine.