Life Parable of the Night Owl

Dawn paced restlessly within the confines of her room, willing the emotional storm in her heart to subside. She knew she had to face the terrible reality that all of her tender dreams around the man she wanted to share her life with were over. He was going on without her and she was left to question everything they had promised each other: believing from this place of shattered aloneness that everything they had shared was a lie… all because it ended like this. Grief and pain welled up inside of her like thrashing storm waves crashing against the seawall of her emotional resolve.

I don’t know how I’m going to do this...

...was the only though tumbling over and over in her mind. There was no room for any coherent thinking apart from this singular consuming life tempest, so she succumbed to asking herself the same useless and unanswerable questions over and over. How was she to begin to do life without him: the one who had been the center of her world; the man she thought was her soul mate? How could she face the next breath, the next step or the next day? All she could see ahead was only pain and more pain. She fought against the panic rising steadily within her body. It was getting harder each moment to control her breathing.

I need to get out of here.

Hurriedly she donned her long woolen coat, snug hat and mittens to guard herself against the deep chill of the winter’s night air. A long, brisk walk would take the starch out of her galloping panic. She fled the warmly lit and cloying comfort of her chamber for the bone-chilling blackness of the night.

The shock of the cold air took her breath away momentarily as she marched determinedly away from her home as though fleeing from her tormenting thoughts. She found herself mesmerized by the steamy clouds of her breath as she walked on hard and fast for hours and miles, taking refuge in the physical rhythmic movements of her body. She strode swiftly past the familiar homes of her neighbors, savoring the crisp crunching of the snow under her shoes and the inviting quietude of the night. She sought the nearby solace of the forest trail and entered into the darkened cathedral sanctuary of the welcoming and enveloping trees. Here, she slowed her steps and breathed in the stillness of the woods at night. She tipped her head back to breathe that forest calm into her fevered spirit and her eyes were suddenly gifted with the beauty of the night sky above.

Shades of dark blue and black were pierced with the brilliant shimmering beauty of thousands of stars and the moon held court in brilliant glowing majesty. Her eyes found the familiar constellations that her father had taught her as a child and she named them silently to herself. She paused and was surprised to recognize that an actual coherent thought had materialized in her mind:

what a comfort it is that when all of life changes, the stars remain the same.

Yes, the stars are the same. The seasons are the same. Life moves on just the same. She allowed the thoughts to start coming. Yes, she still had life and breath. She could still carry on. She had strength. She had determination and courage. She could suffer and grow and be better from this. She could conquer and overcome… and just as she reached the end of her affirmations to herself, her lover’s face flashed across her mind’s eye and her heart broke fully at the thought of never seeing him again. The tears came over her in a sudden and unstoppable flood and she fell to her knees as sorrow washed over her. She cried and cried and cried out her pain and her grief, her frustration and her hopelessness. She cried until her ribs ached, her throat and eyes were raw, until the tears subsided and she felt empty and spent… but her pain was not dulled. Her heart still throbbed with anxiety and anguish.

She took a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped her eyes and her face as she rose to her feet clumsily; her muscles stiffened from the prolonged kneeling on the icy ground. As she began to reorient herself, her eyes flashed towards a barn owl that had stealthily landed on an overhanging tree limb about fifteen feet away from her. Her breath caught in her throat.

The barn owl was straddling a branch with its sharp, cruel talons and held its wings outstretched, fluttering almost silently. It had a limp mouse caught fast in its beak which it shook several times before the unfortunate creature was swallowed whole in several quick gulping motions, the tail lingering out of the owl’s beak before one last gulp removed any evidence of the former rodent. Dawn watched in both fascination and horror. After it had dispatched its dinner, the barn owl settled its wings down alongside its body and tucked his chin down to regard her, somewhat like a fondly patronizing uncle.

In her Native American culture, owls were a symbol of death and she had been taught to fear them from childhood, so she was surprised that she felt nothing whatsoever of fear as she looked long and curiously at the barn owl and he looked just as calmly and fearlessly at her in return. But even though the great bird looked relaxed, she knew that its seeming serenity belied the reality of its heightened predatory senses. As though to confirm her thoughts, the owl suddenly swung his head almost completely around to check the source of some minute noise and then swung its head back around to regard her once again. She realized that she was obviously a creature of curiosity to the owl as well from the attention she was being paid. The barn owl cocked its head to one side and then the other as it regarded her, almost as if trying to study her from different angles. She reflected the motion back: cocking her head side to side as she returned the night creature’s regard. Dawn realized with a bit of a start that her anxiety was gone and that she felt a sense of calm and peace as she regarded the open and intelligent face of the barn owl. Almost as soon as she had that thought, and as though the animal had completed some mission, it cocked its head once more, then spread its wings and flew off quietly into the vastness of the dark night sky. Dawn watched until the barn owl glided out of sight and then slowly turned her feet towards home. The emotional storm had broken and she wanted the familiar comforts of her room.

As she walked homeward, she reflected on her encounter with the barn owl and the effect the creature had had upon her. She had watched this harbinger of death dealing a deft demise to a helpless mouse, but the quick and quiet ending had comforted rather than distressed her. Out here in the wilds of nature, pain and death are common and inevitable facts of life. The barn owl’s speedy dispatch of the hapless mouse had been a summary, tidy affair that was very soon over, and there was a profound life lesson there. She had been caught in a whirlwind of storming emotions, thinking in the moment that life would be stuck there forever, but a winged reminder of the brevity of life and pain had restored her to peace. Death is not always something to be feared. The death of one thing often means continued life and beauty for another, and there are times and cycles to life. She reflected that each person has a final end coming, so everyone needs to make sure to carry on from the smaller deaths of our life chapters along the way so as to properly honor the briefness of our days. In her homeward reflections, Dawn knew with renewed clarity that the death of her relationship was the doorway to the next chapter of her life. It was over; it was done. It was time to swallow it whole and let the experiences enrich her for the road ahead. She said a wordless prayer in her soul, thanking the Great Spirit for the vast wisdom given in nature as she walked home in the stillness of the night: grateful for the life-enriching parable and peaceful omen she had been gifted on the silent wings of the night owl.