L.E.O

It's like out of nowhere I came into this new world. A world that represses all of my familiar ways of life and fulfills every last detail of my fantasy.

He's that kind of guy that, celebrity aside, it's rare to find someone who has something negative to say about him, beyond jealous self loathing reciprocation from a sorry broken soul.

I found myself becoming more and more fond of him, inching a bit too close to full on stalker girl. It scared me but at the same time felt so right I had no way of letting it go. While I accepted my obsession I have been attempting to hind the depth of it from my school friends. I have met people online who love him just as much as me but I don't actually know them. I am not sure if I even want to because I feel jealous when I hear anyone else talk about him like I own him or at least the thought of him. I don't. I want to, but I don't.

I don't really like coffee but on this day I needed it. I had been up for hours working on a paper for history and had a full day of classes ahead of me. My first period was a free period so I had time to go to a coffee shop. I walked in like a zombie and got in line. There were like two people sitting in the shop and one in line in front of me. An old man. He was looking at his phone with so much confusion and frustration I was thinking about helping him but he moved to order before I could. I heard the door open but I didn't look back. I wasn't interested. A part of me wishes I did. Wishes I prepared myself. But then again I am happy with how it ended up.

I blocked out all the noise in the shop. Had my head hanging low, my eyes closed. I was snapped out of my moment of peace when the barista was yelling "NEXT" I moved up ordered my iced Carmel latte. Thats when I turned around to find a seat to wait in. I saw his eyes for the first time up close. All the times Ive look at them in a picture or a video and wondered if they were just as magical in person. They are. I didn't realize it but he was looking straight at me too. He smiled. I think I did too but honestly I lost all control of my body so I could have not. I looked down and started to walk away and he said something. His voice. Ugh his voice. It was low and sweet, yet enticing and raspy. "Good choice"

I took a second, or more like ten to try and remember what words were . How to use them how to put them in a sentence. "Thank you?" Why did I say that as a question. I am thankful. I am so thankful .Not for your approval of my coffee order but for existing. For being you. I sat down and pretended like I didn't care he was there. As he ordered I tried to catch every word he said but my brain kept trying to remind myself I am not a creepy fan.

I sat at a table in the far corner of the shop and prayed to God I hadn't just been dreaming. When I sat down I looked of for the first time since the encounter and there he was. He was leaned up against the counter. Intently reading a book. I am not a fan of books but lord knows I am going to read whatever it is that is in his hand. I tried my hardest to be discrete as I pulled out my phone to take a picture. But of course with my luck he looked up the second I took the picture. I looked down at my phone trying to brush off all the embarrassment. It felt like I was living a dream but reality took over within seconds. The top notification on my phone was from a number, not a contact but I knew exactly who it was. As of right now I am a sophomore in college. Almost two years ago I gave birth to a little boy. I was 17 at the time and the pregnancy was not planned. I was still in high school, still living with my parents, At the time I was best friends with this girl Leah. We had been friends all of high school and spent hours and hours at each others houses. I loved going to her house. After a while it started to feel like my second home. Her parents were so kind and treated me like I was their own. She had a younger sister and an older brother who I never payed much attention to. To this day I wonder if I did pay attention a little more maybe what happened wouldn't have happened. Leah's parents were out of town and she asked me if I could stay over for the whole weekend and of course I said yes. On the second night after we had gone to sleep I was woken up by her brother with his hand over my mouth. Then he took away every once of faith I had in our world.

The next morning Leah found my bleeding and crying on the floor of her bathroom and I told her everything. She believed me right away. I knew that I needed to call the police but Leah told me that I should wait until I feel better. I never called. She didn't want me to. She said it would ruin her family. I left that morning and never went back. I found out a few weeks later that I was pregnant. Throughout the whole pregnancy I knew I wasn't going to keep the baby and only Leah's family and my own knew the truth about how I had gotten pregnant. When I started to think about adoption Leah's mom told me that wasn't an option and that if I really didn't want this baby in my life that they would take care of him. Thats what ended up happening. I gave birth handed the baby to her parents and never looked back.

The number on my phone is Leah. She texts me almost everyday and on most days adds a picture of Theo (my son). I have never met him and neither has his father. When Leah told her parents what he had done they sent him away to some "rehab" facility and from what I know he has never come back.

As I am still thinking about the drama that is my life I feel a shift of my table and I look up. Its him. He was holding my drink and smiling.

"they called your name and I don't think you heard so I thought I would just bring it over. Keenly is a beautiful name by that way."

I took a breath in and for some reason my nerves had really calmed down.

"You didn't have to do that. Thank you. And Thank you. Ive never been a fan of it but a lot of people like it because they have never heard it before."

" No one truly likes there name though"

"You don't like yours"

"Nope. Not always. My name is Leo and I hear it and see it so much it doesn't even feel like my own at this point"

He laughs and looks down. He is so normal. He is so kind.

"Do you mind if I sit down"

Do I mind? Are you kidding me. Of course I don't mind. Ive been dreaming about a moment like this every night for forever.

" No not at all"

He sits and looks relieved that I said yes.

to be continued