Judge Goldilocks & the Case of the Three Little Pigs

Judge Goldilocks had come far in adulthood. One would never believe that she used to break into houses and eat other people’s porridge. She had turned her life around and became a judge in the Fairy Tale Kingdom’s top court. The case of the three little pigs had been a case that had heavy publicity for months.

The story was simple: three little pigs build their own houses and a big bag wolf huffs, puffs and blows the first two pig’s houses down and eats up the pigs. Everyone was certain that it was case closed and the wolf they had was guilty as charged.

The wolf, named Falco, had always insisted on his innocence. He said it was the press had a vendetta against wolves in general and that he was a victim of racism. He also claimed to be vegetarian, so there was no way he could have eaten the two pigs.

DNA could be the key to finding the truth. Until today, Falco never got to tell his side of the story.

“The court is now in session!”

Falco’s defence attorney, Mr Wright explained to the court that the victim’s houses were made of sticks and straws. For a demonstration, Mr Wright had arranged his assistants to build two houses, one made of straw, the other made of sticks.

“This will prove my client was framed once and for all!”

Judge Goldilocks leaned over her bench. Never had she met someone so sure of the wolf’s innocence. “What is the meaning of all of this?” she asked.

“The defendant will huff, and puff, and blow these two houses down.”

So the wolf did as he was told. He huffed. He puffed. Then blew till he could blew no more.

The houses did not move.

Judge Goldilocks gasped. “So you are right, so how did the two little pigs houses go down?”

“Because the little pigs had a cunning plan,” Mr Wright said, pointing at the judge. “Your Honour, I have a theory. The two piglet brothers had faked their own deaths for quick buck. The last pig remaining got a big fat inheritance (excluding taxes) and insurance money. Where the two little fraudster pigs went, nobody knows. Perhaps on a cruise to Disney land.”

“What makes you say tha?” Judge Goldilocks asked. “That sounds too crazy!”

“I was scrolling on social media, where I found a picture of two pigs taking the plan to Disney Land. They look a lot like our victims.”

“No!” Goldilocks shook her head. “It’s far too vague. These pigs could have been any pigs.”

“Your Honour, may I remind you that their bodies were never found.”

“Well if they were eaten there would be nothing to find.”

“Falco’s DNA could not be found on any of the two houses. My client also had a stool and blood sample. No traces of pork were found in his body. He was found to be low in iron and protein: vitamins commonly associated with meat.”

“That sounds just right,” Judge Goldilocks said. The trial continued. Witnesses said they saw the wolf, but nobody said they saw him blow the house down. All expect Mother Pig.

Mother Pig’s testimonies contradicted. Judge Goldilocks had noticed this, but assumed that her judgement had been broken due to the death of her eldest two. Now Mr Wright had presented a different perspective, her mind had been blown.

It was as if the final piece of the puzzle was in front of her the whole time.

How did Mother Pig know what the coast words her sons had said were by the chairs of my chinny chin chin, I will not let you in.

She had claimed both her sons said it. But then she also told the police she had been at home the whole time.

“Something is puzzling me,” Goldilocks declared. “It’s so strange that both pigs said these at the same time before they died.”

Mr Wright passed on Mother Pig’s bank statements. Judge Goldilocks widened her eyes. Her courts had been trolled.

“As you can see, Mother Pig gained a lot from the piglets’ death and she has been sending this money to other accounts to the apparent deceased brothers’ accounts.”

Mother Pig confessed to all. She made her eldest sons fake their death to escape to a better life than the one that was promised to them in the Fairy Tale Kingdom.

Falco the wolf, was acquitted, and left with court with a hero’s ceremony. But Falco’s work was not done. There were flocks of wolves, like him, stuck on death row for crimes they did not commit. He hoped that the likes of Mr Wright and Judge Goldilocks, they would be saved.