Sometimes It's Like That and That'sThe Way It Is

It was the late 1960s, and ten-year-old Gloria Coleman was standing with her grandmother on the side of the highway waiting for the bus. As the Greyhound pulled up, it seemed monstrous and intimidating. Grandma Elizabeth grabbed Gloria's hand, holding it tightly as they boarded. 

Once their fare was paid, Grandma picked up her speed, dragging Gloria along as they passed many empty seats and made their way to the back of the Greyhound to sit down. 

Everyone who had been waiting with them also skipped over empty seats in the front of the bus and sat in the back, except one man, who sat down near the front. The driver looked up sternly through the mirror as if to make certain everyone was in their place before starting their journey.

When they arrived in town, Grandma took Gloria shopping at several stores. When she was thirsty and tried to drink from a nearby water fountain, her grandmother grabbed her hand and jerked her around the corner to a different one without saying a word.

They did not get food until later in the afternoon once all the shopping was done. They went to Kress, where the hot dogs with chilli, mustard, onions, and relish were delicious.

Gloria wondered why their food was always to go, and they never sat at the counter or in a booth. As they waited, she decided to sit on one of the swivel seats and spin. The woman behind the counter gave her a dirty look as did the man seated nearby. Her grandmother grabbed her arm and yanked her off the seat without saying a word.

They walked a few blocks and ate their food in a second-floor building in the downtown area, where there was a room with chairs, and several other women were waiting.

When Gloria needed to pee, Grandma Elizabeth took her into the hallway. As she began walking in the direction of the closest restroom, her grandmother jerked her arm, gave her a stern look, and shook her head as if to say "No." She then led Gloria to a restroom further away on the opposite side.

When she returned to school on Monday, about eight of the girls in her class were gathered and excitedly talking about a sleepover. As Gloria and her cousin Melia approached, the conversation stopped.

The cousins cast knowing glances at each other as they realized they would not be attending. There had already been two sleepovers that spring, and they were the only girls in the class who were not invited. A few of the female classmates looked at Melia and Gloria with empathy, but no one apologized or offered an explanation.

Gloria thought about how many times she had been to the Mini Market or the Post Office and saw one of her classmates. When she greeted them, they dropped their heads and did not speak because they were with their parents.

At first, she would always say "Hi," but in time, she understood what no one would talk about. Now, if she saw girls who played with her at recess and talked to her in the lunchroom, outside of school, she followed their lead. She turned the other way or dropped her head as if she did not know them.

During the summer, she heard that a new family with three daughters had moved into an affluent neighborhood in her town but the girls were not allowed to swim in the nearby pool.

No one discussing this situation discussed why, but everyone understood. There was a moment of silence, then they all walked away to their respective classes.

As Gloria now reflected on the way things were six-decades ago she realized that everyone was exhibiting the attitude of a song that would come two decades later. The offenders and the offended were all compliant with the rule that can be summed up by the 1983 Run DMC hit: "It's Like that and that's the way it is."