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Instruction Manual

Even simple devices need instructions

By Mark GagnonPublished 16 days ago 3 min read
Instruction Manual
Photo by iMattSmart on Unsplash

To our most valued customer, thank you for purchasing this state-of-the-art hand tool. We know you will enjoy many years of use from this masterfully designed device. Only the highest-grade materials have been used to create this multipurpose tool, so you may feel confident that it will always function to the best of its ability in all types of environments. Our company has been manufacturing this implement for over one hundred years, and we have never had a complaint due to poor quality or inadequate design. To ensure that you are thoroughly satisfied with this product, we have included a list of instructions for its proper use.

1) Our team of designers has constructed this tool to function equally well for right-handed users as well as left-handed users. You can even switch the tool from one hand to the other should the need arise. When transferring this device from one hand to the other, please make sure at least one hand keeps a firm grip on the handle. Maintaining positive control will reduce the chance of unwanted damage or injury. Warning: this device is designed to be used by skilled craftsmen only. Please keep it out of the hands of children.

2) This tool’s primary function, but by far not its only one, is driving nails into wood and other materials. The force needed to accomplish this will vary depending on the material you are trying to drive the nail into. This is not recommended for glass, porcelain, or steel. Great caution should be used to protect the fingers and hand holding the nail. Many an injury has occurred due to a lack of proper focus. We are not liable for such injuries. The manufacturer is also not responsible for any damage that may occur if the nail is missed and the tool cracks, dents, or splits the wood, plastic, or any other surrounding material.

3) Your newly acquired tool (referred to from here on by its generic name, Hammer, is a multifunctional device. One end, known as the Head, is used for striking objects like nails, plugs, etc., while the opposite end, called the Claw, is used for removing things such as nails, tacks, or for prying objects apart. Simply slide the head of the nail into the V-shaped slot. The Claw is curved and will give you the leverage needed to remove most things. The Claw may also be inserted between objects and used as a crowbar to pull apart a multitude of items. Warning: Using the hammer in this fashion may put an unnecessary amount of stress on the handle, causing it to crack or snap in half. This is not covered by the warranty.

4) The final part of this premium tool to be discussed is the handle. Our handles are made from maple, oak, or steel, depending on which model Hammer you purchase. They may vary slightly in length but are all designed to withstand a high degree of force. Some metal handles are wrapped with a rubber sleeve to enhance the user’s grip. Most handles are straight, while others have a slight curve, which increases impact power. Please be aware that placing any version of our handles in a pipe to increase leverage may result in permanent damage to the handle and will not be covered by the factory warranty.

In conclusion, we hope this tool brings you many years of useful service. Please feel free to contact our customer service department should you have any issues or questions. Their number is on the box. Please check out our other quality items: screwdrivers, vice grips, pliers, socket wrenches, and so much more.

HumorSatire

About the Creator

Mark Gagnon

My life has been spent traveling here and abroad. Now it's time to write.

I have three published books: Mitigating Circumstances, Short Stories for Open Minds, and Short Stories from an Untethered Mind. Unmitigated Greed is do out soon.

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Comments (4)

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  • Angie the Archivist 📚🪶a day ago

    A fresh look at my Daddy’s chief tool of trade!✅

  • L.C. Schäfer8 days ago

    What I am hearing is, I finally found a man who reads instructions 🤔

  • Rachel Deeming15 days ago

    So that's how to use them!

  • Hahahahaha this gave me a good laugh. Loved it!

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