If Cake Could Talk

Do you know that feeling you get that is inexplicably perfect? It happens when the day is warm, the aroma of the wind surrounds you, you feel good throughout your whole body, and life just seems to make sense. Ah, yes, that feeling, I am now the perfect temperature for the display fridge. It is my time to shine!

I have cooled down from the oven, been beautifully iced, if I do say so myself, with a pale pink rose-shaped frosting, my favourite! I’m topped with the most elegant white sprinkles, none cracked of course, perfectly rounded, and they’re just the right amount of contrast to my rich dark brown body dressed in a matching dark brown liner. Mmm, I feel so soft and moist. I am the perfect cupcake! I am so excited to show people how perfect I am!

Finally! They place me on a tray with 7 others from the icing rack, carry us over to the fridge and slide me in. Unfortunately, I am at the front so I will be chosen last but that's okay because everyone will see how perfect I am and choose my brothers! Oh my goodness, our first customer! How exciting is this?!

"Ding-a-ling" rings the thin bell that dangles from the ceiling above to the door frame. It looks fragile like it could break at any second, but it should hold up. I look around the cafe and observe the beautiful chic design, stained wood furniture, pastel-coloured cushions, and sofas. Oh, a colourful bookshelf against the far wall and an exceptionally large cactus beside it. Wow.

I flick my attention back to the customer whose greedy eyes flash over me and all my brothers. His attention is shifted when our waitress bursts through the door between the back kitchen and the service area. It swings back and forth on its squeaky hinges until finally settling to a halt.

"Good morning!" She hollers at the customer. She has a wide, welcoming grin and choc-caramel-coloured hair. It’s glossy like a warm ganache dripping from the back of her head.

"Ah, good morning. I'm just here for something sweet to start my day." He says with a toothy smile and turns back towards us with a conspicuous look of desire in his eyes. Suddenly, the whole cabinet starts to yell! All my brothers were calling out to the man. Nothing short of what you'd hear at a concert. A concert? The noise was so intense I could only make out what a few were saying.

"Look at me! I'm so crispy and I will break apart in your mouth before I melt completely!" I hear a cheeky voice coming from beneath me.

"Can you go wrong with a classic chocolate chip cookie like myself?" I hear proudly announced from above me.

"Treat yourself, I’m a chocolate cake with buttercream layers. Need I say more? You deserve me, and I deserve you." I hear seductively whispered in a deep voice from beside me where a tall and proud layered chocolate cake stands.

"Trust me! I want you to eat me as much as you do!" I hear energetically barked from directly beside me. He's like me but a bit shorter as the icing is a little slidey.

"Uh," I mumble. This is quite the competition. "I'm soft and moist! I can feel it!" I yell as I watch the man's eyes flick right past me. "No!" I call out. "I'm... I'm the one you want! Trust me!" I cry. Why do I feel panic? An intense urgency to be chosen.

"Can he even understand what we're saying?" I mumble to myself.

"Not really." I hear the deep seductive voice whisper beside me. I look up at the tall and proud slice of chocolate cake. "I have been here for a few days now, it appears they can't hear us but can pick up our energy, intentions, and potential. I mean, I'm no scientist but it appears no matter what you say, they always choose the ones that resonate with them the most." He continued.

"Hey ugly!" The cake yelled at the man. "You have an ugly face!" He yells. "See? He is still happy.” He says smugly. “I don't try very hard to be chosen... and I had a thought earlier. This might sound kind of dark, I'm not like, depressed or anything but, what happens after we get eaten?"

I feel like he wasn't expecting an answer, it sounded hypothetical, but it got me thinking. What does happen after we are eaten? Do we stop... existing? Does my body separate from my mind or am I digested with it? Ah, I suddenly feel dizzy.

"Yum! Classic chocolate cupcake! What a delicious snack!" I yell involuntarily at the man. "What was that?" I gasp at myself.

"Ah, that's just your appeal. You project how delicious you are whether you like it or not." He tells me as a matter of fact. I feel a little betrayed by this. I concede as I see myself in the reflection on the glass.

"So, what do you think happens, cake?" I ask.

"Mm, well, my brother believed we go to a nice place, our body is digested but our minds go to sweet heaven where we are chosen over and over again. I don't believe that though."

"Would that be a good life? Repeating the anxiety of chronic desperation?"

"What's anxiety?" Cake asked.

"I don't know." I responded. A heavy feeling sets in as the customer leaves. I wasn’t paying attention, who did he eat? I look around but I hear the bell ring again and a family of four burst in the door.

"Oh my god! Thank God you're open. I completely forgot about our kid’s bake off! I need something really simple, so it looks like I made it." The mother huffs. The kids barrel forward and stop abruptly when they reach the glass in front of me, virtually drooling as their oily fingers smudge my view from the world. They are huge from this distance!

"Mum! Can I have chocolate cake?" One little boy loudly asks his mother. Cake? No! I look over at cake who is looking in despair.

"Whatever. Can you add the last two pieces of chocolate cake to that in a separate box? Thank you." The mother huffs at our waitress.

"Cake!" I yell.

"It's alright, man.” He tried to comfort me. “If there is a place for us after we're eaten, I'll meet you there." He smiles and is quickly yanked from behind. I notice all my brothers behind me are gone as well. They’re gone. He’s gone. It's just Slidey left beside me. Panic quickly sets in, and I am filled with overwhelming fear. I can't really breathe. I... I feel like I don't want to die.

The bell rings. Another customer.

"Me! I'm soft and moist. I may be sweet on top but my body is where I hide the real fun!" I hear Slidey yell.

"Stop! You're going to get yourself killed!" I yell at him.

"Killed? I am so rich and delicate that just one bite will instantly release endorphins in any man smart enough to eat me."

"What are endorphins?" I ask annoyed. He ignores me.

"Imagine that soft sweet icing, the crispy brown layer, and the soft, buttery texture once you take off my liner." He says to the bleach-blonde business lady that is staring directly at him.

"I'll take the little one." She points at him. "Just something light with my morning coffee. It's Monday after all." She giggles and our waitress politely giggles back like it’s something she has heard a million times. Slidey gets snatched from beside me and I’ve never heard a more joyous squeal before. He is really happy.

"I'm perfect!" He screams on his way out.

"Oh, it's just perfect." The business lady whispers as she excitedly takes the plate off the waitress. I watch as she sits down, peels off his liner, grabs her large metal fork, and slowly slices him in half.

"Slidey!!" I yell. This is crazy! Something isn’t right. I have to get out of here. I don't want to die!

"You don't want me!" I scream from the top of my lungs at the crowd of people in line that appear during the morning rush hour. "I'm the last one here because there's something wrong with me! Trust me! I am dry and old!" I desperately attempt to avoid eye contact and look as unhappy as I can.

Somehow. I did it. It's finally 4 o'clock. I take a sigh of relief and exhaustion. After screaming all day, I am so tired. I need a plan, but I can barely think straight. Most of my brothers are gone. From what I can hear, only a handful of cookies are left above me, and some fruit tarts I now see on my left through the empty racks.

"Really? You won't tell the boss? We can pretend it was dropped!" The waitress excitedly skips up to the display cabinet. "Yes! I was hoping no one would buy you!" She giggles and with a big grin, she opens the cabinet. It's me. She's come for me. After all that, this is how it ends.

She slides the glass door open and she grabs the edge of the tray I'm sitting on. She drags the tray out and I slide towards her eager hand. She wraps her fingers gently around my liner and picks me up. Her fingers are warm. Maybe it won't be so bad. I hope it's quick. I hope it doesn't hurt. Then I'm hit with the memories of my brothers around me. The cabinet was full of life, now it’s an empty dark machine. No voices, just the sound of flickering led lights and warn-out generators. It was filled with different ways of being perfect, unique attitudes, and voices. It's sad to think only we could hear each other, and even sadder to think that we can't anymore. Maybe it's better like this. I miss Cake. I feel a pain inside me when I think of him. Just as the girl pulls me out of the fridge, she hits her elbow on the sliding door frame, gasps, and shoves my frosting into the top shelf. She abruptly pulls me back down but loses grip and I fall to the floor with a hard splat breaking me into pieces. My liner is holding me together but I’m no longer whole.

"Oh! Damn it! That's just my luck!" She says mildly disheartened as she picks me up, scoops my splattered frosting with my broken body and throws me across the room into the bin. My frosting wipes off as I slide down the walls and land in the bottom with the rest of the trash. My brothers.

I don't say anything, they seem defeated enough. I hear the rustling of the plastic above me, I look up, but I see nothing. Our weight is lifted into the air and after a few short minutes, we are thrown with a hard thud into another bin. I don't need to see it to know. The air starts to get thick in the closed bag. I can hear the short sharp breaths from my brothers as the air gets humid and increasingly harder to breathe.

"Did you know, when our bodies die, our minds don't," I whisper and take a break for a few more short, sharp breaths. "I know a really good guy who went there earlier today. He is waiting for me now. How about I meet you guys there?" I desperately gasp for air, more desperate than I was gasping for attention earlier. It's getting hard to think straight now, but I think about cake and where he is, and I imagine him telling me in his slow and deep voice that he told me so. I can't wait to go there.