I Wheelie Like You

I Wheelie Like You

I think that I can honestly say, hand on heart, that was not only the strangest lunch that I`d ever had, but also, I will not be seeing her again. I mean, how is it, they`re never like what they say they are on their profiles.

I could forgive the fact that she wasn`t a six-foot blonde as she stated but actually a five-foot two redhead as there was no denying that she was still quite a pretty woman which she couldn`t see herself. Hoped the genuine compliments that I paid her gave her confidence a little boost. And, again, it wasn`t great that she clearly stated that she had no children, but we wind up talking about her two teenage boys. We all have a past, and I know that I wasn`t looking to be a father just yet, but you can never say never, can you? But the deal-breaker had to be when her crazed, stalking, ex-husband appears out of nowhere and threatens to kill me with his bare-hands if I ever come near her again. And judging by the size of him, he was more than capable of doing it. So, I don’t think that`ll surprise anyone when I said goodbye there and then.

Hey-ho, I survived and got out in one piece, and there`s `Plenty More Fish in the sea` as the old saying goes and what was I thinking turning left here, should have carried straight on. I`ll have to walk up that steep hill just past the train station. Ah well, I`m not turning back now as it`s beginning to rain. Not that anything heavy, just that fine misty stuff which will eventually get you wet so I`m not going to hang around.

No matter how many times in the past I`ve walked up this hill, never gets any easier in fact, the older I get, the harder it gets but then again what have I got to complain about. Look at that poor woman over there trying to push herself up the hill in that wheelchair. She really will end up getting soaking wet, I can’t have that. “Excuse me, but are you alright? Do you need a push?”

1

“Who`s that? Oh hello, there you are, I was wondering who it was. Oh yes please that would be great otherwise I`ll give myself a hernia if I try and keep this up for much longer” she says looking just as much relived as grateful.

“No problem at all” I say as I go across and promptly take a tight hold of the handles before saying. “Right, all the way to the top of the hill, is it?’

“Err, no, to be totally honest I`m not quite sure, I think Sutherland Road is around here somewhere, is that right?” she asks. Well, I can certainly answer that question for her.

“As it happens, you`re right, and it`s not too far away from here, in fact we take this next left, go to the end of that road, left, then the very first right, soon have you there.” I happily tell her before continuing. “Anyway, couldn`t bare to see you struggling like that, you could have done yourself even more damage and what were you doing in the middle of the road anyway?”

“Tried going along the pavements but they were a bit narrow plus, there was quite a few cars parked on them, and at times there`s nothing more annoying than that when you just want to get around. So, I take it that we`re going to stay in the middle of the road then?” she asks as I take a quick look around.

“Yeah, I think so, certainly looks like it would easier that way, but don`t worry if any cars come along I`ll get you safely out the way.”

“Thanks very much.”

2

“You`re welcome. So, I going to take a guess and say that you`re not from around here then?”

“No, I`m not.”

“Where are you from then?”

“Falmouth.”

“Oh right, so what brings you up here today then?”

“Well, I`ve come up here today to see, let`s say, a special friend” she says to which I immediately had to ask. “What do you mean, a special friend?”

“You know, a special friend. Bit more than a normal friend, but not quite a regular boyfriend.” She explains to me, but it`s clear that I`m having some sort of total off-day, as I still couldn`t quite figure out what the hell she was talking about which she could easily tell. “Do I really have to spell this out for you?” she asks.

“Err, yeah, think that you`re going to have to” I say somewhat apologetically as she then literally just spells it out. “I`m here to see my F@! kBuddy.”

It still took a moment for it to register. “Oh…Oh, I see, I`m with you now.” Must be honest and say that being surprised to hear that was a bit of an understatement.

3

“There`s no need to look so surprised you know. I know that I`m a paraplegic and forever stuck in a wheelchair, but I`ve still got all my senses about me and, I`m still very much a woman, I still got needs.”

Must be honest, it`s been a long time since I`ve heard anyone, especially a total stranger be that honest about anything. It`s quite refreshing I reckon. Quite like it. Not quite sure what`s happening here but, and yes, I get that it`s only first impressions and all that, but it seems difficult not to like her. And she`s dead right about what she said about being a woman, as she clearly is and all things considered, quite a pretty looking one as well as I then thought I`d better introduce myself. “I`m Phil by the way.”

“Hey Phil, nice to meet you, I`m Jayne” she begins by saying. “So, what do you do for a living Phil?”

“Me, I`m a Carpenter, been doing it most of my life now. What about you? Do you have a job?”

“Well, I`ve currently given up work so I can dedicate all my time and efforts into hopefully getting selected for the British Olympic Team” she says as obviously I couldn`t help but be impressed.

“Wow, that`s brilliant, well done you really hope that you make it. What event are you training for?” I had to ask.

“Pole Vault, but I had to give it up” she says.

4

Pardon? Did I just hear her right? Pole Vault? I may not be an avid viewer of the Paralympics, but I`m sure that I would have remembered seeing the Pole Vault oh, I see, once again it`s took me a moment or two to register. Alright then. “Oh really, why was that then?”

“I could balance the pole whilst pushing myself along, that wasn`t the problem, but trying to get enough speed to get a decent launch was virtually impossible. Shame that they don`t have like a Medieval Jousting Tournament. Reckon I could have done well at that.”

“Yes, I don`t doubt that you could have done. But you could have ditched the pole and maybe tried out for the Long Jump” I suggested.

“Hey, great minds think alike, had the exact thought myself,” she says.

“And?”

“I could get some decent speed up that track but ideally, I would have needed a small ramp at the end of it to gain some take off, but they said that I couldn`t have one. Same with the Triple Jump, but obviously instead of Hop, Skip, and Jump, it was Wheelie one, Wheelie two, then Wheelie three, but again a ramp, or a small trampoline would have helped, but again they said no. Spoilsports eh.” Deep down, couldn`t help but find this topic of conversation funny question was though, do I show her?

“Thanks” she then says catching me somewhat unawares.

“What for?” I ask.

“For playing along. Not many people do when I start talking like that. Seems to really frighten some of them. But what they don`t understand is when you`re stuck in this thing day after day after day, I need a laugh now and again. It`s even better when someone laughs along with me so yeah, thanks.”

5

“That`s okay, and let`s face it you can`t go through life permanently miserable, can you? You`d drive yourself mad doing that.” I say to which we both nod in agreement before I ask her. “So, honestly now, what do you do for a living?”

“Honestly, I`m a secretary for a local solicitor`s back home. It`s okay. The wages are decent and been there just over three years now. I`m even considering studying for a degree and becoming a solicitor or even barrister myself now.”

“Wow, that`s great, good for you, you should definitely go for it as I`m sure that you could get that degree easily.” I tell her in all seriousness.

“Aww, that`s really nice of you to say, thanks. Well, I don`t like to think that these wheels should hold me back in anything that I want to do with my life, haven`t done too badly so far. Got a decent job, my own place, I`m independent, got some good friends, suppose all I need now is to find myself good man.”

“A good man?” I begin by asking. “What about the one that you`re on the way to see now?”

“What, him, I hardly think so, especially with the way things stand at the moment. Do you know that this is our actual first real date. We`ve Skyped, and Facetimed obviously, have done for a few weeks, and now we`ve finally decided to meet up and, you know, he can`t even be bothered to meet me at the station.’

“No way!” I was genuinely shocked to hear.

6

“Yeah, honestly. He knew what time I`d be arriving and everything. I don`t know why I`m really bothering with him really. Well, I do know actually, it`s…”

“Because you`re a woman with needs” I hazarded a guess.

“Well, yeah, but if he doesn`t perform like he says he can tonight then he`s history, seriously, I won`t be wasting anymore time with him” she says sounding like she really meant it.

“So, you should dump him as well. You can do far better than that. You should be with someone who treats you properly and at the very least can be bothered to meet you at the train station.” I tell her meaning every word.

“You`re right, this is his last chance tonight, I mean it” she says and again I believe what she says. Nearly at the end of the road now, not exactly sure how long it`s taken to get here, but I can`t deny that I`ve enjoyed every single second of talking and sharing her company. It`s very difficult not to like her and I really hope that she doesn`t think that I`m weird or anything.

“Oh look, almost here now. Sutherland Road is left at the end of this road then the very next right. Look, I was just wondering that, but only if you want to, if things don`t work out tonight for any reason, maybe we could meet up some time you know, drink, maybe a meal, and I promise you now, I`d happily come down to Falmouth to see you.”

7

Wonder why she suddenly isn`t speaking? She seemed to be quite a chatterbox. Did I totally freak her out with my question, or was it the shock of me asking her? Either way, she certainly seems to be thinking hard about what I just said. “You serious about that Phil?” she eventually asks. I didn`t hesitate to answer.

“Yes Jayne, in all honesty, hand-on-heart, I am serious” I tell her as she then deliberates.

“Okay Phil, you`re on. If things don`t work out for me today, I`ll be giving you a call, okay” she says looking up at me with a smile which I returned being pleased to hear her answer as deep down hoping that her night ends up in a total failure which I know may seem a touch selfish of me, but, all`s fair in love and war and all that.

“Okay, that`s great, look forward to hearing from you, well hopefully” I say as we now reach the end of the road.

“Was it left then take the very first, right?” she asks.

“Yes, it was. Do you want me to keep on pushing you. I honestly don`t mind” was my totally sincere offer.

“No, it`s alright Phil, I can manage from here especially as it`s downhill, I can get a little bit of speed up before turning into Sutherland Road. But thanks anyway.”

“That`s okay” I tell her as I would have happily pushed to wherever she wanted to go as, I`m not exactly sure why, but an impromptu, slightly awkward silence then occurred.

“Phil?”

8

“Yeah.”

“I take it you are going to give me your mobile number otherwise, how am I meant to call you?”

Oh Christ, yes, of course I am” I suddenly realize. “It`s 07785499828...Aren`t you going to write it down or put it into your phone?” I ask.

“No need, told you before, still got all my senses and a photographic memory to go along with them. 07785499828. Trust me Phil, got it. Right, best a get a move on, you can let go of my chair now, maybe see you soon then Phil, okay.”

The last thing that I wanted to do now was let her go, was enjoying her company way too much. But I was glad that we both said `see you later` rather than goodbye, it gave me a bit of hope and I can`t deny that as I watched her go down the hill at quite a gathering speed, which she seemed to enjoy, couldn`t help but worry that maybe she was going a little too fast and it might just cause her to topple over. There was no need to worry though, she took that turning with total ease and soon going along Sutherland Road and soon out of sight. Suddenly I then remember that I`ve got to back along this road and walk that hill to get home and I`d better be quick as this rain seems to be getting heavier but it doesn`t matter right now if I get a bit wet, it was worth it.

9