THE LONEIST

THE LONEIST

“Now, you really shouldn`t be worrying about anything, you`re a really nice guy, everybody knows that, and eventually you`re bound to meet the girl that`s right for you. Just you wait and see.”

That was nice of her to say, no, it really was. But I can’t help thinking that maybe she was saying it all just out of sheer politeness, or did she really mean it? So, how would I know if she meant it? Umm, I know it`s sounds mad, but I suppose I could ask her out. Well, she did just say that I was a nice guy, and she is definitely a nice girl. Very nice in fact. So, where would be the harm in asking her? Right, here goes. Nice deep, slow breaths, stay calm and just remember you`re only inviting her out for a drink, no pressure, as you think it might be nice for us to get to know each other a little better and oh, forget about it. She`s gone. Just walked straight up to that guy with the perfect jet-black hair and white t-shirt which is probably two sizes to small for him just so he can show off a ripped torso and biceps.

Ah well, it`s probably for the best as I`m not sure that I could handle another Cheryl Appleby kind of rejection just yet. That may have been over five years ago now, but it`s still deeply engrained in my memory. It was horrible. I only asked her out for a burger, that`s all, and I`ve never seen anyone look so repulsed about anything in my entire life.

But that was a long time ago, and best forgotten about and let’s be honest, this party looks rather good. Quite a few people here, as well as some pretty-young ladies like this long blonde-haired one with the tight-fitting white dress. “Hey there, how are you? You having a good time?”

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“Oh really, well you`re no supermodel yourself either. There was no need for that, just to turn her back on me like that. I only asked if you were having a good time not proposing that we`d jump into bed or anything like that. Manners cost nothing, yeah.

Oh well, forget about her, plenty more around here. Like this permed-haired brunette, and I must say that the jeans and red t-shirt really suit her. Shame it was still a no but, at least she spoke to me, makes a pleasant change that. But let’s not get too downhearted yet, the night is still young and it`s still a good party.

Who am I kidding? Me, at a party? Chance would be a fine thing. As here I am again, another Saturday night, just sat here on my own in my bedsit watching trash tv. Oh, to be actually at a party. Anyone`s party, doesn`t really matter who`s. Or even just a social gathering will do. Anything. Just as long as I don’t have to stay in here by myself anymore.

Getting sick of it now. Night after night week after week, just me and these four walls and the television which I wonder why I actually paid for because most of the time there`s hardly anything worth watching. Beginning to think that the phrase `Billy No Mates` was invented with me in mind.

But, in all honesty, I just don’t get it. I mean, what do I do that`s so wrong? I`m polite, like to think of myself as respectful towards other people, always try and join with the others at work, even laugh at the jokes that aren`t really that funny just to try and blend in and hopefully make a friend or two. I totally get that I`m no Pitt or Clooney and I`m happy with that but I don`t consider myself to be a total monster either. I think that is fair to say. But still no invites to anywhere.

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Yet, here I am again, just sitting by myself while the rest of the world enjoys itself. Just as well get yet another early night, not much else to do. It`s not as if I`m going to get a call now from a group of lads inviting to join them down the town, or any girl is to ask if she can come around to my place for a drink or two. But I still live in hope. It`s all I got for now.

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