I'm M, after meeting my first love, I want to tell your wife's story (2/2)

Until J's birthday, I want to celebrate with her and leave quietly. But the wish was not fulfilled. That day, she worked late, and I waited from the afternoon to eleven o'clock in the evening, watching her walk out of the office building with her colleagues, and I didn't even have the courage to stop her. She's already a paralegal and I'm just a parasite still spending my parents' money, and that feels really bad.

I followed J all the way back to her rental house, and several times I wanted the driver to drive directly to the train station, and I wanted to go home. But I always felt that I left without saying goodbye, something was missing.

So when J said I was gnawing at her old age and that she wasn't in the mood to celebrate her birthday, I lost control. I yell. J doesn't understand, I'm not chasing her, but the self who is left behind. That night, I walked back to school alone, repeating a lyric in my heart, I finally lost you. The parting ceremony for J was also designed by me in advance.

If she's already starting to hate me, let her be completely disappointed in me. Either a passerby or a lover. That day, I asked them to call J and said that I had a car accident, and she came as fast as she could. When she saw me sitting on the ground and pressing myself with a bicycle, her eyes were so disappointed, so dislike. At that moment, I died in her heart. I went back to my hometown that day and didn't even go back to school to pick up my luggage.

Yes, in this city that I have lived in for six years, the only one I can't take away is you. Leaving J, my youth ended, all the tears in my life flowed down that day. I am back, to the delight of my parents. They bought me a house long ago and arranged a leisurely and decent job. One of the tasks I still need to complete is a blind date for the purpose of marriage. It's just that day by day, I began to notice the restless elements in my body beating, and I felt more and more that I was not content to live my life like this.

At this time, a big event happened in the family. My dad was involved in a lawsuit because of a project dispute and was sentenced to three years in prison. The family lost power since then. My situation in the unit has also plummeted, and I can see the world is hot and cold. Of course I can continue to mix in the unit, but I don't have that skin.

After resigning, I told myself that even if I crawl, I have to crawl out of a way to survive. I first worked as a regional agent for an electrical appliance brand, then I did e-commerce, and then I started my own company. It was the first time in my life that I took the initiative to ask for progress. It was not about forgetting sleep and eating, and being hard-working. It was just that I had a sincere attitude and heart from the inside out to accomplish something.

When a boy grows into a man, there are always three or two things and one or two people.

On the day the company was established, I missed J very much, not only for my former lover, but for her appearance in my life. You see, the best souvenirs of love are never the watches and necklaces you gave her, or even those sweet text messages and photos, but the ones you left on me, like the rivers flowing to the mountains and rivers. Changes made to me. I would love to tell J about my current situation.

In those years, I stubbornly did not contact my college classmates because I was afraid of hearing about her. Later, I met a classmate on the Internet and talked about J's current situation. Unfortunately, she is married and is said to be a very good man, which is also expected, her life should be like this.

Later, I talked about two romantic relationships, both of which ended because I was not active enough. I know very well that the people I like have more or less the shadow of J, but they are not her after all. Until I met my current wife, S. S is a teacher from an early childhood education institution. We met at an outdoor activity. She is simple, casual, and pure like a child. In Davin's eyes, I am mature, stable, self-disciplined and inhuman.

She said that being with me is like falling in love with the clock, always so punctual and reliable. I was stunned by this remark, I thought these words would never have anything to do with me, and at that moment I thought of J again. Once upon a time to leave her, I quietly bid farewell to myself. But unknowingly she became another her. We got married half a year after we met. In her opinion, this is a love affair. Only I know that she is better for me.

For me, love is not the only criterion for judging whether a person is suitable. To S, I no longer treat romance as a meal like I used to do to J, and I can't wait to stick to it 24 hours a day. I will appreciate and praise her while giving her space and time. She admires me the most and can always accurately guess her thoughts. I am only a few years older than him, so I think a little more than her in everything. I left all the romance to my first love, and the stability to marriage. For me, it's a growth.

At the tenth anniversary party, until J was coming, I thought of 10,000 ways to greet her. Standing in front of her, I was calm on the surface, but there was a tsunami inside.

Hello J, stay safe. Thousands of emotions, but this is the only thing I can say. I look back silently, and I am more grateful than sorry. I would love to say, thank you, J, because meeting you has made me who I am now. But at the age of 30, I understand that I love my ex and the person I loved so much. Do not disturb is the best respect and gratitude.

That day, I drank a little wine, and when I toasted, I respected myself and J. "Warm a pot of dusty wine, and drink the past alone." She's doing fine, and so am I, and that's the best way to end it. What we hold is the cup, and our hearts are tender and relieved. In those hurried years, we couldn't say goodbye properly, cherish it, but that's youth.

And it is only in middle age that people realize that some blessings do not need to be said. A good love is to be grateful to each other, and then to be well. In three months, I will be a father. When I write this memory, the umbilical cord in my heart is forever soft.

If one day, children come to ask me about the experience of love, I will definitely say without reservation, when you are young, you need love. There is no more beautiful growth and transformation than love. It is better to love someone who needs you to stand on tiptoe. people. A person you are looking up to patiently and quietly, he will unconsciously take your heart to another level, even if you can't be together in the end, your life will be different from now on.