I Love You?
For the “500 Word Shockwave” Challenge – Vocal
It was kind of a dull Saturday night until she walked in.
He was on his second PBR in a cocktail glass by then. The bartenders at Le Domain were never this free and he could see how easily they switched glasses, bottles and cans from hand to hand, often between each other as a kind of test. Almost hypnotic to see as he leaned on his stool and let his finger play games with the too-large piece of lime in his glass. After his third hit, he’d head home and call it a dud of a night. The music was some sort of trap track he could not name (getting old, aren’t we?). The lights were darker than he remembered from his first time in that bar (wearing shades was not a good idea; “I wear my sunglasses at night…” That damn song). And the drink was truly awful (why were there so many tips on that counter?). It was a dud. It was a bad night.
“Buy me a drink?”
He almost thought that the voice at his ear was a new song on the PA, but no, not that loud. He turned to it and could not believe his luck.
“Why yes, my dear? What’ll you have?”
She stared up at the bartender, a young man who looked like he wanted to reconsider several decisions in his life.
“Manhattan.”
“Get the lady a Manny!” He almost pounded the bar and realized that he did not want to distract the show he had seen with the objects passing from hand to hand. But the young man did as he was told, putting the drink down on a fresh coaster with Le Domain’s name printed in threes.
“You are a gentleman for buying me one.”
Was he buying? That hadn’t really entered his thoughts, but with such a sure thing…
“No problem. Please enjoy.”
“I will.”
There was an awkward moment as they both stared at their drinks. Bon Jovi was now talking about a prayer he was living on. He knew that he would have to move quickly.
“Sam.”
“Samantha.”
“That is…just too perfect.”
“And I was going to say the same thing to you. Who’d have thought?”
“Maybe it's a sign.”
“Just maybe it is…” Her hand, with a swift gesture, was now touching his leg. He thought he would spill his drink.
“When a moment is handed to you, you should take it.”
She did not laugh at that wisdom of his father and grandfather (maybe there was something those old men knew).
“Right. And the night is young.”
“Very young and…here we are.”
She touched his cheek, letting the warmth of his face spread through the cool palm she had from the drink.
“I really do want to thank you for this.”
In one swift move, she was at his neck, sucking deeply on the blood she needed. He could not even react. There was only one thought on his mind…
“I...love you?”
About the Creator
Kendall Defoe
Teacher, reader, writer, dreamer... I am a college instructor who cannot stop letting his thoughts end up on the page. No AI. No Fake Work. It's all me...
And I did this:



Comments (10)
Your twists are truly second to none Kendall! Excellently done and I'm wearing a scarf to bars from now on! ;)
Such a great twist, Kendall!
Well, that definitely is a toxic love
Your story literally sucks, brilliantly 🐱, excellent twisty challenge piece
love to death pretty much
Now that was a bloody twist hahahahaha. Loved it!
Well that story's just batty! It literally sucks! (And I'm guessing he's thinking it was worth every drop.) Nicely played, my friend.
Ha! That was a great twist!
Haha! I guess she was the sucker he was looking for, lol. Nice twist!!!
Fabulous twist! Great piece!