Hug Me Tight Until I Stop Overthinking

The world seemed to be capering too quickly around me, and my mind appeared to be doing the same. It had been one of 'those' days. One of 'those' weeks. Accumulation of responsibilities, choices, and problems I could not silence in my thoughts. The cacophony within my mind was too much and I was exhausted - exhausted from the vexation of thinking, from caring about everything way too much, and from feeling like I was lost in my thoughts.

I have encounted the edge of the sofa with my naked palms bearing the knees, gazing into the emptiness a little too close for comfort. Encouraged by the soft drone coming from the refrigerating appliance, alongside the far-off noises of vehicles plying on the roads, I simply felt blank. Everything was muted due to the abundant angst.

“I can sense you overferencing again,” You always tended to start softly like that. I must say I could feel engimatic warmth in his tone.

Enticed by his comment, I turned towards him, however, the warmth flooding my soul made it moot. His eyes were sparkling with empathy, clarity, and another unknown feeling – a feeling that made deep down in the core of me feel safe. Home.

Without requiring to utter a single word, I just nodded giving my head. He anticipated it all. Every step hand on hand I took without verbal communication instantly collapsed my mental vortex.

He moved in closer ,near enough that I could feel him, and reminding me I was in fact grounded. No words needed exchanged — he learned a long time ago that sometimes the best thing offered was presence and touch.

“I know what you need,” he said softly while plopping down beside me on the couch. Wordlessly, he enfolded me in his arms, drawing me closer to him, much to my delight.

As blissful as that was, I didn’t want to move at first. My body was tense and didn’t wish to release. With my mind racing, I attempted to think, worry, and cling to everything. However, when his arms constricted around me, I noticed the unchanging warmth of his embrace and the comfort that came with knowing I was safe which changed everything inside me.

“Just breathe,” he said softly, quieter than a whisper. “I’m right here. Let me help you.”

In that exact moment, I decided to fully relax, for once during the day. Unclenching my eyes while resting my head against his chest, my arms were seized by his unrelenting cold embrace. In the midst of disorder, my novel felt like an anchor resting step in interference of the world. Every intruding feeling I was previously drowned in disappeared the instant I begun to shut my eyes.

I could feel his heartbeat as I inhaled, bringing his heart closer to mine. This moment was puzzlingly simple but profoundly meaningful at the same time. All the noise around us ceased to exist when I felt him wrap his arms around me. The tight embrace made my racing thoughts and worries of the future fade… even if it was only for a moment.

“Never let me go until I stop overthinking,” were the words I whispered as I rested my chin on his chest. My head had decided that silence was no longer an option to abide by, and it felt like every thought I lacked the need to think was slipping through my grasp.

Without saying a word, his grip on me tightened just a bit more as he started rubbing soothing circles on my back. It felt like he was trying to cocoon me from the world. Every timid press of his body that was just a breath away, wrapped me in comfort and made me feel like it was one of those rare moments where everything was truly going to be okay.

As I embraced him, I suddenly remembered that everything didn’t need to be dealt with alone. His love, presence and support were a force of nature all on their own. I was free from the torment that was my thoughts by no longer needing to carry the burden in silence.

His arms wrapped around me, and time seemed to slip away, minutes feeling like hours. I staticized no more anxiety. Instead, I leaned into his love, the unsteadiness of my heart fueled by the blockage of his breath, the warmth that heated the space between us. It was enough, at least for now.

Eventually, I raised my head and leaned back which allowed me to look at him. The warmth of his gaze seemed to be a warm embrace of quiet understanding. It was then that I noticed the presence of something I tried to explain: peace. Somehow, he hadn’t just placed his arms around me; he had tempered the hot air balloons of thoughts swirling around in my mind and silenced them in a world of calm between us.

“I strongly believe that you have done it,” I murmured in words that felt genuine, but light.

His hand reached to the side of my face as he chuckled. “All you needed to do is to stop thinking, which is something people need now and then, just for a moment,” he said.

Lifting his arm, I laid my head on his shoulder for a second time, replying with a whisper, “I really appreciate everything.” “I’ll be honest; I didn't know I needed it till now.”

And I figured out right then that I was searching for something too hard. Not every challenge requires rational thinking and not every problem needs to be solved right away. Sometimes, wrapping yourself in the embrace of a person who truly adores you can do the trick. The madness of thoughts just drifts away, and all that is required is an embrace. The silence was everything I needed; the warmth of his hug helped a lot to finally achieve the clarity I have needed.

As I remembered everything, my thoughts got interrupted as he said, “By the way, I’ve already taken care of everything you were worrying about. You don’t need to think about any of it,” while pulling his lips slightly away from my face.

Staring at him made my heart skip a beat with confusion rushing through me, “What do you mean?”

“I made some calls,” he went on, his grin widening. “I dealt with your meeting, your emails, and your most pressing issue? It's already dealt with. You've carried it on your shoulders for way too long, love. I just didn’t want you to overthink about it tonight. Seriously, just let go.”

In that moment everything started making sense. I had been dealing with all that weight, all of those thoughts, knowing that no matter what, I wouldn't be supported. Way to my surprise, there he was, holding me physically and emotionally at the same time. For days, I was anxious and now, truly, my mind was relieved.