Hedi's Story

For years, Hedi had been quiet. Her truth had lied, buried deep within the shadows of her life. She yawned. After being exhausted with years of survival mode under her belt, she had been through more than enough. All she wanted to do was rest, but she just couldn't give in. Her brain was wired to replay. As much as she wanted to turn her mind off, she just couldn't. All her problems and memories just seem to replay inside her brain, over and over again. Like a video loop. She just was tired. Tired of fighting, struggling for survival. Some days just never seemed to end and today was another one of those days.

She wished that her dreams could bring her peace, but all they seemed to do was present misery. And misery truly loves no company. All Hedi wanted to do was speak, but sometimes there were just no right words. No perfect phrase, nothing that could sum up how you feel. And some days, you just feel awful. But Hedi learned to live through the hard days she endured, even if they existed in plurals.

Sometimes certain people just leave marks on you, in ways that you cannot shake or change or erase.- whatever you wanted to say, some people just exist on your soul like permanent ink. And trust me when I say, that Hedi was through living without the man she loved. She needed him more than words could describe. Her life mattered too, didn't it?

Hedi had earned the scars that she had recieved, and trust me when I say there were more than plenty. More than a few in all honestly. But still, she trundled on through. There is more than one way to die. More than one way to completely disappear. Sometimes, just being alive is a struggle. Learning how to be completely okay with your existence is no easy task, and Hedi tried, she tried as hard as she could but some days just seemed to tumble around. Nothing after nothing existed for her, and her heart was sore. Her heart just hurt. Nothing seemed to soothe the way she felt inside.

The moment that she spoke. The moment that Hedi had set her traumas and anger free and spoke: that is the moment that she finally could let go of all the years of pain and misery that she had endured. The moment that Hedi had let her truth set fire, was the moment she felt free from burdens and problems that had used to tower over her in tremendous measures. Sometimes truth is all there is to exist. But, in all honesty, sometimes just existing just hurts.

I wish that there were more words to write when it comes to Hedi and her life. But the pain is all there. All the pain that Hedi had endured was still there, all for her own shoulders to carry. All she wanted to do was pass her pain along to someone else, and get rid of it completely. She couldn't always shoulder the way she was feeling. Sometimes the memories were too much to bear. Too much to carry. It's easy to let go when all that is consuming you is the pain you have, at least that's what Hedi had thought. Sometimes the words were just hard, but it became freeing as she spoke her truth. She began to love the voice she had. Even if it shakes from time to time as she tells her story to those in need. She will speak as many times as she needs to until her truth is heard.

Chloe Rose Violet

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