Hating Christmas

HATING CHRISTMAS?

CHAPTER 1

The house was bland. There were no popcorn strings, trees nor stockings. There was no smell coming from a gingerbread house as though there was in fact none in the neighborhood. No carols to sing, no trees to decorate and no family to spend time with.

Christmas was usually Eloise Rosebridge’s favorite time of the year. However, this time, it was different. It was her first Christmas in the Rosebridge manor and the manor was definitely different from everything she was used to.

Eloise tried to reminisce on better times, imagining the smell of the sweet gingerbread cookies she took from the kitchen while Mrs. Bloom, her family’s cook, baked. She thought of the beautiful family decorations that had been passed down from generation to generation, even the light sounds of Christmas carols being sung all the way in the church.

If anyone had told her she would never experience those things again after getting married, she would have resolved never to marry, despite the fact that she did not really have a say in the matter.

Not having a say in a matter that involved how she would spend the rest of her life was the reason for the boring season which she now lived. A life where she was only to be seen not heard. Eloise marveled at how many other women before her had dealt with this. And in that minute she knew she could not live that way.

She had been married to Jamie Rosebridge; the Earl of Birchwood, a little over a fortnight ago. In that time, she had barely seen the earl, much less get the chance to talk to him. Now, even during Christmas he was not going to be around. Even if he was, she did not imagine that things would be much different. The house would still be so big and empty because the only thing they ever said to one another was share pleasantries.

Eloise groaned. She did not deserve this. She would have very much preferred a love marriage like that of her father and mother but fate had not been as kind to her as it had been to them.

She wanted to hate her parents for her current situation but knowing the circumstance surrounding the marriage, she could not. They loved her so much and it had hurt their hearts as much as it had hurt hers to see her married to a man she barely knew.

Her father was a fine gentleman in virtually all regard. What he was not however, was a good businessman. At 55, Rogers Blackwell had inherited his father’s estate, a 50 square feet of rich London land. A decade later, Rogers was on the verge of bankruptcy.

That was when the Earl swooped in. He needed a wife and Eloise’s father needed some money. Rogers had refused vehemently at first but soon it became clear that he had no other choice. Eloise loved her father too much to see him lose everything he had so she had been backed into a corner. She’d had just one option and she had taken it despite her father’s urges not to.

Rogers Blackwell would be curling in even more regret if he saw her right now. Eloise told herself that, but she could not continue to live in the misery of her reality. She rose from where she was. She had had enough of this pity party; this was a house of full staff that she could utilize. She could make this Christmas good for them even if she could not make it good for herself. She left her room and walked to the east wing, which served as the staff wing.

“Mrs. Bloom,” she called out.

The overzealous woman answered almost immediately as she stumbled out of her corner in guilty trepidation. “Yes, madam. What might I get for you? A snack perhaps?”

Eloise shook her head. “I would like to celebrate Christmas and I need your help.”

The woman smiled so widely, Eloise imagined the sides of her mouth tearing apart. “The master has not celebrated Christmas in a long time. I reckon this is one of the reasons Rosebridge Manor needed a lady and might I add, you are a very fine lady.”

Eloise laughed a little beyond caution; she then imagined what the woman would make of her mouth too.

“I shall inform the others and we shall all ensure you and master enjoy a mighty fine Christmas.”

Eloise nodded, absorbing all the excitement emanating from the older woman. “I have some traditions and recipes from my mother that I would like to add those too.”

Mrs. Bloom almost jumped for joy. “Aye my lady. It has been my dream to learn from your traditions too, mistress.”

***

Eloise marveled at how much the house had changed by sunset. There were Christmas decorations up all over the manor, cookie smells whiffing through and workers singing carols. There was even a large Christmas tree that commanded attention right in the front of the parlor. Christmas trees were scarce to find on Christmas Eve and even the staff had reported that it had not been an easy find.

The only things left were the stockings she was currently knitting. Knitting was one of her favorite things to do as it kept her calm and sane in the midst of any kind of chaos. She was grateful she got to knit now. She had not been able to since she arrived at the manor.

In a few minutes, she was finally done with the stockings she had been knitting since she had informed Mrs. Bloom of her plans. She found the woman supervising the hanging of even more decorations.

Eloise smiled. “Mrs Bloom, I owe many thanks to you. The house looks so radiant. ‘Tis a wonderful sight to behold."

Mrs Bloom shook her head. “Nay, milady. ‘Tis you who deserves such profound appreciation, Rosebridge has looked quite un-Christmas like during Christmas since as long as I can remember. So nice to see it shine on such a fine day as this.”

Eloise was about to respond when the Manor’s main entrance was opened. In came Gustavo, her husband’s personal chauffeur. Eloise did not see the man behind him but before she could say a word, her husband was in after the man.

Jamie Rosebridge was handsome. He had rich brown hair and a set jaw that stood out. Despite his hard face, his appearance was charming. However, Eloise felt he only looked a day over thirty. He had a dark spot within him, it was from that spot that all the bitterness sprouted, and that didn’t make him so much of a happy man.

It was from that pit of darkness that even his signature look - a frown came from. She could not remember ever even seeing him smile. He seemed like a man whose rigidity was unparalleled. She hoped the Christmas decorations would uplift his spirits. The mere appearance of the house, in radiant change should lift his soul. She assumed.

When Jamie sighted the new look of the house, he appeared even angrier than usual. His look struck Eloise with fear. She realized in that split second, that the dullness of the house had been anything but coincidental, if anything, it had been deliberately orchestrated by him. She feared that he did not like Christmas at all, but then; who did not like Christmas?

It was the best time of the year. She had known Christmas to be a time for all old grudges to be buried, for family to experience togetherness with food and laughter and most of all for people to show one another love.

Eloise looked back memory lane, there was never a time the Earl had been happy. He was usually very distant even to the closest people to him. However, he always maintained his gentlemanly approach in all matters. Christmas time was different. His brows were drawn together, his wrist fisted and his nose fuming. She could almost see him boiling with a rage he would say nothing about.

Eloise felt all the excitement in the room drain out like a candle light. He looked around the house and maintained his stoic look.

“What is my house now fashioned after? What are these? A poor attempt at restoring a children’s home?”

Eloise felt so insulted. Perhaps the most she had ever felt in her life. She wondered why he had come back home early. She had not expected him to return in another week. The house had been manageable. Why did he have to come back and ruin everything for her?

“Mrs Bloom, my ears have not heard any reason as to explanation for this foolhardiness.”

Mrs. Bloom was as shocked as the earl’s wife. She had not expected the Earl to give such a reaction towards the Christmas decorations that they had all put some efforts in, in a bid to please the house owner. Although she had known the way the earl liked the house to be during the season. She was shocked nonetheless.

“'Twas the opinion of the fine countess to have a different Christmas; she requested for a thing that would remind her of her home.” Mrs. Bloom said.

“Tis true. I requested that the manor be decorated. Christmas is such a fine time and the manor was not looking the part. I personally think Mrs. Bloom and the staffs have done a great job.”

Jamie turned to face her squarely. “You do not have such free will as to change my entire manor without consulting me first. ’Tis my house and I must be abreast of what anyone puts therein.”

Eloise had never felt so small especially before a bunch of staff. All for Christmas decorations that other families in the Ton enjoyed with so much zest. This was yet another reason to remember exactly why she did not like being married to the Earl and how her life was over because she had already accepted the fate.

She felt tears gathering in her eyes and threatening to fall but the Blackwell blood in her was stubborn, Blackwell ladies didn’t cry. Her mother had taught her to behave in the respectable manner for ladies as she lived through her life. She had maintained that pattern of living but for the first time in her twenty-five years on earth, Eloise felt like forfeiting that knowledge to break out in tears or raise her voice at him in protest.

None was better than the other so Eloise chose the safest. She turned around and ran to her room. There, she would not be forced to see the Earl.

***

Jamie Rosebridge knew he was no one’s favorite person in the world. He did not mind. He had lived like that since his mother died and he was fine continuing that way. He had thought he had lost every sense of care or feeling towards anyone - perhaps with the exception of his closest footman - for as long as he could remember. Now, he was certain no one fell within the circle of his compassion, not even the footman or his wife.

Eloise was a beautiful pale skinned beauty. While he had been partial to blondes in his wild days, he could not understand why he immediately felt biased toward the sight of Eloise, who was an apparent brunette.

She was curvier than any other woman he had been with and somehow he liked that. He wondered whether his sudden feeling towards Eloise albeit unexplainable, was because she now shared his name. He chose to chalk it up to that. It had to be that.

A man of honor such as himself felt some sort of sense of responsibility towards his new wife, regardless of the circumstances that had surrounded their marriage.

Jamie was never in the habit of regretting his actions, regardless of how much he was supposed to. There was something about Eloise however that made him beat himself about how he had spoken to her the previous day. He knew she had not deserved the treatment. Despite the fact that they had not spent much time together since their marriage ceremony, he could tell she was a nice person. It was in her eyes; a pair of ever sparkling eyes.

He wished the damsel knew how much he hated Christmas. At least she should have known that his approach to Christmas was deliberate. Although, he had never told her about this, he preferred not to talk about it, neither did he desire to talk about any of the things that made him sad.

People always assumed everyone loved Christmas. Well, perhaps everyone did except him. He had been that way since his mother died.

His mother had been the brightest star in his life and when she died, she had taken all the light she had brought him. Christmas had been her favorite time of the year. She had loved it so much that she had a long list of activities lined up for the season. That had made him love it too.

They were treated to excess cookies, stockings, gifts, and all the other Christmas beauties. After she died, Jamie stopped celebrating Christmas altogether. It just didn’t feel the same again without his mother.

Confronted by all the decorations the previous day had triggered all the hurt he had felt after losing his mother. It had been by a narrow chance that he didn’t completely lost his manner.

He had barely seen Eloise since he chastised her the previous day. He wondered if she was fine. And so he called the one person he thought would know: Mrs Bloom.

The governess was by his side in seconds. “My Lord.”

“How is the countess?”

Mrs Bloom sighed. “The countess has refused to leave her room. Neither has she agreed to eat a thing.”

Jamie felt really bad. He knew his outburst the previous day must have had a hand in this. He groaned. He really hated this feeling of regret. “And do you know what it is that she is sad about?”

Mrs. Bloom almost chuckled. Who wouldn’t know why she is sad? She had a surprised smile on her face. “The countess loves Christmas. Christmas as Christmas.”

Jamie smiled, his mother would never come back to him and so it was his wife he had. “She loves Christmas, so Christmas, we shall have,” Jamie declared.

He was not surprised at the look on Mrs. Bloom’s face. Even he was surprised at his declaration but he had made it and now, there was no going back.

“I shall gather the maids and we shall start on fixing all the decorations. I can imagine what a fine thing ‘twill be for the countess.”

“I hope so. Everything shall be ready by sunset, I presume?”

Mrs. Bloom nodded. He could already see the woman’s mind churning. She only got like this when she was deeply excited about something. He could not tell if the cause of her excitement was the fact that there was to be a Birchwood manor Christmas or the fact that he had asked about Eloise.

CHAPTER 2

Eloise lay in the bed, curled up like a ball. She felt sick in every sense of the word. Her insides, as well as her outside were aching. She had not felt this way in a very long time. She shut her eyes for the fifth time that day, calling on to her dearest friend in times of trouble, sleep.

However, sleep was nowhere near her eyes. She had probably used it all up anyway. She wanted to stand up but she felt no motivation to do. Her childhood dreams about her marriage came to mind. She had imagined the best Christmas together with her husband and children. Nothing close to the quiet, restraining order she was getting in reality.

She was sad. She knew staying like this would achieve nothing but she also could not think of anything else she had the willpower to do. She had just wanted the season, to bring brightness.

She needed just this Christmas season to make herself feel happy again, as though her entire life had not been turned upside down again since her wedding. And even that, she was not getting.

Of what use were her tears, she considered. She was bound to the Earl for life and would probably bind more people with him when it was time to fulfil his request for heirs. Eloise groaned at the mere thought. Heirs. To even have them meant she had to spend time with the Earl who was yet unwilling to consummate the marriage. There was no doubt that the entire affair was chaos.

She did not know a thing about consummation. Mother had only warned of it a few sunsets before her wedding ceremony. Even then, mother had not given her any more detail when she had asked questions. Eloise wondered what it meant for the first time in a long time and shook her head soon enough. There was no point thinking about fates that could never be altered.

She was still gathering her thoughts when she heard a knock on the door. It was her personal maid, Agatha. Agatha was only a little younger than she was and Eloise had taken an instant liking to her soft spoken maid, almost immediately after they had met. Agatha was not half as ambitious as Mrs. Bloom, but she was not a dull lass. However, Eloise did not feel like seeing Agatha or anyone else for that matter.

Eloise sighed. “Agatha, did I not inform you of my wishes to be left alone? Why then are you here present?”

“My apologies Milady. The Earl has requested your presence at the dining hall.”

Eloise plastered on an insincere smile. Who was this man to think he could command her and tell her off whenever he wanted. My husband anyway. She sighed. Who was she to reject his summoning?

“Kindly let the Earl know that I shall be with him.”

Agatha hesitated before speaking, “’Tis a matter of great urgency Countess Rosebridge. The Earl promised a great punishment on my failure to return to him without your presence.”

Eloise’s anger rose. The earl would oppress anyone he could, would he not? It was not enough that he tried to intimidate her. He wanted to do so to the poor innocent maid too.

“I shall be with him shortly then.”

Agatha’s familiar sly smile finally graced her face for the first time that day. Eloise on the other hand could not find a reason to smile too. She put on her petticoat and her gown and left the room. She should have known the maid would be at her door, waiting to walk her back to the earl.

Together with Agatha, they walked to the Dining hall. By the time they got to the parlor. Eloise’s mouth was agape. The entire manor was decorated even more than it had been the previous day. There were candles lit, cookies smells in the air, stockings put up, a big Christmas tree that was decorated and even presents under the tree.

Agatha chuckled. “’Twas on the Earl’s orders for there to be a manor Christmas.”

Eloise was speechless. Her husband was not absurd after all. He was not the worst person alive. This was the last thing she had expected from him but then again, she knew he was not a person whose intent anyone could rightly judge, but even then, her knowledge had not prepared her for the outcome.

Mrs. Bloom sauntered into the room with a wide smile. “’Tis a mighty fine set up we have here. However, the Earl requests that you join him for dinner milady.”

Eloise took a much needed minute to process the information. The same man who had gotten so upset at the sight of these decorations set them up in an even grander style.

Not much could have changed about a person in one day or maybe she was to be proven wrong after all. Perhaps his intent when shared would ridicule the entire amusement.

When she was done thinking, she followed Agatha and Mrs. Bloom. The trio walked to the dining hall.

Jamie was seated in the hall and Mrs. Bloom had presented a very large array of meals.

“‘Tis a fine day for a good meal. Is it not?” Jamie asked, as though he had not done something so amazing for her.

The beautiful sight that confronted Eloise was one she would not forget so easily.

CHAPTER 3

Eloise stretched on the bed. It was sunrise and she had so much to look forward to doing that day. She grinned like a Cheshire Cat. She felt like the happiest person among the Ton. It was neither gold nor silver that was responsible for this feeling but her husband. The same man who she had assumed was a devil.

The Earl’s gesture the day before had been nothing but extremely kind. Maybe it was because she had not expected it or because it was a gesture that came from a man like him, she did not understand. All she knew was that Christmas was over, and this next day after Christmas has left her a truly happy woman.

Christmas had been truly amazing. It had been the first time she had seen the Earl in such a soft state. He had smiled, eaten and even hummed some carols. He almost seemed like a generally happy man; he looked nothing like the intimidating Earl she had known him to be.

Now, it was St Stephen’s day and she wondered if it would be appropriate to gift the Earl an item. Even if it was, she wondered how she would go about it.

She stood and walked towards her trunk. After opening it, she brought out the sweater she had been knitting since she had become a part of the Birchwood manor. It was a red sweater. She really hoped he would like it. She put the sweater back in the trunk and just then a knock came. She did not need to ask before she knew who it was. It was Agatha. She had come to draw her a bath.

“Come in.” she called.

“Good morning milady. Shall I draw your bath now?”

Eloise paused and shook her head. “Soon but I desperately need your input on a matter.” She bent, picked the sweater and held it up. “Do you feel the Earl might feel distaste toward this item?”

Red hues graced Agatha’s face. It was obvious she was not used to being asked about her opinion on personal matters. She bent her head as she spoke, “Tis a lovely piece of clothing and the Earl shall not only like it, ‘twould be of great use to him on many a stormy night. I am sure of it.”

Now, it was Eloise’s turn to feel impressed. “Many thanks Agatha. ‘Twas just the precise response I needed to hear.”

Agatha nodded, visibly pleased to have been helpful. “Shall I draw the bath now?”

Eloise nodded. “Yes, please.”

***

It was almost breakfast time when Eloise was done bathing and dressing. Together with Agatha, she made her way to the dining hall. Today’s breakfast was already taunting with nose. She could already smell Mrs. Bloom’s famous eggs, bacon and freshly baked bread.

If she ever had the opportunity to leave the manor for a long time, she knew the thing she would really yearn for the most would be Mrs. Bloom’s delicious meals. However, the thoughts of Jamie’s consent of the previous day added to the sweet scent around the manor.

“Breakfast looks sumptuous as always, Mrs. Bloom. I am afraid you must be on a mission to fatten me up by the new year.”

Mrs. Bloom laughed. “Far be it from me milady.”

Eloise sat. “Shall the Earl be joining us for breakfast today?”

“Aye,” a deep voice came from behind, startling Eloise.

Eloise looked over at the direction the voice had come from. It was the Earl. His dark hair was slicked back, a smile, carefully set on his lips. He looked even more radiant and handsome than when he waked around with his frown.

When she had asked that question, she had genuinely not expected a positive response. Now, she was seeing the Earl for what felt like the fifth time that week. It was just the thing she did like and now it was also something she had to get used to.

Breakfast went on for several silent moments. The only noise came from their dishes and cutleries. When they were done, the Earl curtly inquired, “’Twas a lovely meal, was it not?”

Eloise nodded, as she wiped the sides of her mouth. “Mrs. Bloom’s meals are always splendid.”

He smiled. “I agree. Might I see you for a moment?”

Eloise was surprised. This was the first time he was requesting for time alone with her. “Of course my Lord.”

The Earl laughed hard. “My lord? You can call me Jamie. We are husband and wife now.”

Eloise could not help the heat that rushed all over her body. She simply nodded. The Earl reached for his pocket and retrieved a necklace with an amethyst pendant. It was the most beautiful item Eloise had ever seen.

“This was my mother’s. ’Twould be a real honor to have it as yours henceforth.”

Eloise smiled so wide. This man was full of surprises. She nodded. “’Twould be my honor to have such an exquisite item around my neck always.”

The Earl came over to her side and put the necklace around her neck. It was the closest they had been since she moved into his manor. Eloise could not explain the urgent surge that came with being so close to the Earl. She had never felt it before. Her feet wobbled as she swallowed hard.

If Eloise thought she had felt an urgent surge before, it was nothing compared to the way she felt when she felt a kiss on her shoulder. Her legs wobbled this time. She felt heat straight from her head down to the tip of her toes.

The Earl raised his head and Eloise knew she was red all over. She had never been able to hide her true feelings.

He stared at her with his eyes carrying a fire that looked so deep, it seemed unquenchable. It was a look she had never seen before but it was also one she enjoyed. She could not explain. The sight of him in that manner made her feel like she was the only woman in the world. It was the kind of look she had wanted from him all along. It made her feel priceless.

“You are so beautiful, Eloise,” he confessed.

Eloise tried to open her mouth to respond but she could not. Her entire body was still healing from the surge of being treated as a real wife.

He placed a hand at the back of his neck and even in her present state, she could see that he was just as nervous as she was.

He cleared his throat. “Uhm uhm I must leave now.”

Eloise nodded. She still could not speak. If she attempted too, she would scream. Her marriage had indeed just begun.

CHAPTER 4

Eloise lay on her bed. She could not help the wide smile that graced her lips. She had been on what she felt was the pinnacle of pleasure only moments ago and it was hard getting over that. She felt a deep sense of appreciation within her. Now, for the first time since she walked with her man down the aisle, she truly felt lucky.

The Earl had bewitched her within just a few hours and she did not understand his wizardry nor did she resent it. Rather, she wanted him to be more like this. The caring man she had dreamed of getting married too.

She wondered when, if she would get the opportunity to ask him about all the troubles that had kept him in the dark all along. The Earl was always so busy and unavailable that she feared she would not get to see him soon enough again to get responses to her questions.

She wondered if this was part of what her mother had extensively told her about - the peaceful moments married couples enjoyed. If it was, she now liked being married. She smiled quietly and just then remembered that in her frenzied state, she had forgotten to give the Earl the sweater.

She walked over to her trunk and picked it up. She looked it over to assert that the gift was a good one. Now that he had gifted her lovely gift, she needed to give him hers and she needed to do it that day. St Steven’s day would be incomplete without it.

She left her room and headed for the Earl’s quarters. Unlike her father and mother, she and the Earl did not even stay in the same wing of the house. She had not minded it initially as it was the exact thing she wanted due to the manner of her marriage. However, now she wished they were together. She hoped the new breeze of peace hovering around them would solve that wish too.

She finally got to his chambers and felt a new bout of tingles in her spine. She had rarely sought him out on her own. If she needed to ask him a thing in the past, she met with Mrs. Bloom or Gustavo. She had come this far and giving him this gift was something she really needed to do so she knocked.

In a few seconds the door was opened to her and she walked in. She looked up at him and was met with his eyes. They were blazing. It was almost as if they could bore a hole in her chest if they wanted to. She had thought the way he had looked at her in the dining hall was the most intense look a man could give a woman. She had thought wrong. This was more intense than anything she had ever seen.

“You are so beautiful,” he stated like a fervent prayer. As though he was just staring at her since she got married to him.

“Thank you, but I am here for a different reason.” She replied, trying to conceal the gift, which she had wrapped up, behind her.

“Yes?”

“Here.” She presented it to him. “My small gift to you. A little expression of my love for you.”

He clutched the gift to his heart and closed his eyes. “I have not gotten a gift since my mother died.” He confessed. “Not that I am interested in any anyway. I have deliberately avoided it.”

She drew back slowly. “Has this all been about her?” She found herself asking with concern.

He sniffed and walked to his bed. He watched her walk in too, but toward the window, before he responded. “Every event has been tied to her.” As he recollected the memories, more tears came to him.

“I am sorry about her.” Eloise confessed.

“I feel light now, I feel very happy at the things I did, I mean allowing the decorations and all.”

“I understand dear. You allowed light. That is what happens when we allow light penetrate through the darkness of our hearts.” She said, speaking from her own experience.

“You are right.”

“I am most certain your mother wants the best for you, living in darkness would not help. You have to let it all go.”

He nodded. He had begun to realize it too. The little he had done had brought in so much brightness to his life. “Henceforth, I shall be a better husband to you. I promise.”

That said, he walked over to her and held her close. “I will do everything possible to right the well.”

The two of them hugged. It was not the casual courteous hug they had shared in the past, this was passionate. It promised an absolute change.

***

In two months, the entire manor had witnessed a great change. The earl and his countess now lived happier with the love and harmony in their home, and the staff of the house lived happier too.