Genesis

There weren’t always dragons in the Valley.

“O, but there were! in the oldest of days and ages and times... Behind seven lands and seven seas, beyond seven mountains and seven trees...There lived a...Once there lived a King (or was it a Queen?) in some country (perhaps Clare), there was…There was, once upon a time...There was a time…When time was time… A very, very long time ago….”

B6: Who’s that?

REASON: Well, that’s good old minus four. [Leans over to whisper] Just be careful of the minus sign.

Then Bang! 

B6: What’s that noise?


REASON: Who verily knows and who here can detect it?

ξ: Wait.


REASON: Did I stutter?


ξ: As a matter of fact…


REASON: Never mind. If we want to talk about dragons we’ll have to create some first.

In 743 V.E., a leap year starting on a Monday, dragons, at first concealed in darkness, were, by the great power of warmth, born. But you shouldn’t be scared when they pop up. You simply rationalize as needed.

ξ: Why do we believe in the existence of dragons?

REASON: We infer the existence of dragons based on the fact that doing so allows me to explain things that need explaining.

*


SHE WHO ONCE WAS: [Rummaging through debris.] Where is My…


THE SILENT WITNESS: Hey, there it is. [Grips Her arm and points east.] Way out in the water.

     They preferred the East.

SHE WHO ONCE WAS: Where? [Peering through the fog.]

    

They built their homes facing East.

 THE SILENT WITNESS: See it there, swimming. [Pause.] Look, here it comes now…

    

And They plaited Their hair.

REASON: [Floating in a vessel of grace.] Hey, I’ve been trying to meet up with You.

SHE WHO ONCE WAS: Where the hell have you been? [Standing with arms akimbo.]

REASON: [Lapping at Her awareness.] Yeah, there must be a last Thursday between Us. But here, [Hands Her a package wrapped in brown paper.] I brought You something anyway.

SHE WHO ONCE WAS: My God! What things are these?

Picking imaginary lint from a dragon’s eyelash had become a time-honored tradition in the Valley. It is now one of the top helpful habits to advance one’s quest; therefore, lint picking is normally a private affair. (Except on Saturday. Lint picking on Saturday is illegal. It is also illegal to flick the lint into the wind.)

DR. PU: What are you seeing now?

ξ: I’m seeing waves by the seashore.

DR. PU: That’s right. You’re seeing waves by the seashore. Aaand do you know how you happened to see those waves by the seashore?

ξ: No.

DR. PU: Would you like to know?

ξ: Yes.

DR.PU: Then I suggest you listen to me while I talk to you, ξ. You understand that now.

ξ:[Nodding off.]

DR. PU: Aaand Im still talking to you…

B6: [Softly and aside to ξ.] Hey, what’s that floating in the water?

DR.PU: Do you know now what the waves are doing?


ξ:…waving...


DR.PU: Yes. Aaand what would a boat be doing if it were on the water ξ? [Leaning in a fashion forward manner.] It would be rocking back and forth, would it not? [Finger waging.] But when I told you to see a scene involving motion, you saw a dragon.


B6: Gee, I hope everything is alright.

Night fell, and the tempest rose. Meanwhile, Smother, a tenuous dark energy awash with questions, apathy, and the occasional snack arrives in a ship shaped teapot with a dragon’s head mounted on the prow.

SMOTHER: [Standing on the poop.] This looks like a peaceful place for a tragedy. [Ushers ξ et al. into the boathouse.] Come! Come. Lumber inside, and cry over something. I’ll stuff your mouth with candy.

B6: [Singing softly to the self]. Candy, candy, candy I can't let you go... 

SMOTHER: [Emerges from her seat like a rising tide.] My dear creatures, I must leave you.

ξ is taken aback.

SMOTHER: [Slips on her goat-to-coat.] I'm off! [Departs in the manner she originally came.]


As Smother clambers back into the boat, the wind dies down. Afterward, B6 plucks a stray gray wisp of hair from her mouse sleek coat, holds it over a flame of the evenings fire and watches it shrivel.

DR.PU: You always second-guess yourself, ξ. [Adopts a flagrant pose.] Think of all the Time you would save if you just trusted me.

He wore a frilly, lace-cuffed and lace-collared 'poet shirt' with his best patent-leather pumps.  To make matters worse, ξ had a toothache.  

DR.PU: Instead, You rely on probability because you don’t know what’s going on.  


That is as it should be.

REASON: [To ξ and B6.] Come, unto Tiamat let us go!

ξ and B6, therefore, settle beneath the Tree of Strife- an awe-inspiring 1,000 meters high with a heavy-duty step ladder considerately placed against the trunk.

ξ: Here, put these on. [Hands B6 a pair of top quality night vision wraparound goggles.] We must sit without light. But don’t fall asleep- our lives may depend on it.

They sit for nine days without food, drink, sleep or motion.

B6: How much longer must we endure this?

 And there, passing before them, were the chiefest of Tiamat’s Observables: farm animals, kitchen utensils, complex emotions and food. Then, on the ninth day, with no conscious effort or pre-authorization, ξ and B6 climb the Tree of Strife and hang from a branch peppered with buds. (From an engineering point of view, We are interested only in the top of the tree.) Suddenly B6 feels her face begin to grow warm and inflate; she is aware of her body being overthrown. 

 B6: Hey, what the...[Startled screams of terror.]

B6 lost consciousness.

DR.PU: You are going to slowly return to waking consciousness on the count of three. One. Aaall right now- coming up. Two. Beginning to move now. Beginning to stir. Becoming very aware of where You are. Three. Aaall right now. Eyes open. Wide awake.

Having regained consciousness, B6 realized. She was buried beneath something.